A Trillion Kisses

Anakin

2011-12-11T03:23:00.000-08:00

Greg took the first trailer load of stuff to Cairns with him this afternoon. So we don't have a dining table anymore. We've done 2 dump runs today, mainly stuff he's accumulated in his shed plus a few pieces of beaten down furniture. It's going to feel so good at the end of this whole thinning-out process. There's something to be said for shedding excess baggage that's for sure. Greg's parents are leaving in about 10 days so the whole move should be finished soon after.

I'm not phsyced about moving but Greg loves his job at TAFE and has experienced more challenges and job satisfaction in 6 months than he ever would've had at the mill! So that's worth it.

When we settle in we'll get some chooks and start planting sweet potatoes and pumpkin. All Anakin wants is to live on a farm, preferably up on the tablelands near the dam. He wants to milk cows and goats and tend trees. So we'll try and make Cairns as much as an agricultural expreience as we can so the poor boy doesn't get homesick for the country! Last Sunday he spent the entire day out on Rowan's lychee farm with Mum. He picked and packed us half a crate! He packed them into his backpack as well but when he put it on it was so heavy it dragged him backwards, right off the carton he was perched on!

I took Anakin to Amanda's on Friday night after work - I had to help her figure out the instructions on her incubator and change the temperature setting. She'd bought a beautiful little boy kitten that afternoon! She can't help herself with animals and is already looking after so many! She has tiny mouse that she gets up through the night to feed, she's got call ducks and ducklings; muscovy ducklings, chooks, goats, cows, a rabbit, rats, another cat and I'm probably leaving some out! They also love to camp so it becomes a bit of a pain organising to have them looked after. She was worried how Zac would react to more animals and jokingly named him "Crab-bait", saying that's what Zac would want to do with him when he gets home from the mines! We fell in love with him the moment we laid eyes on him and knowing that Anakin has been asking for a pet cat she offered him Crab-bait! So we came home with a kitten!! Anakin has been on cloud nine over it ever since! Me too - he is the sweetest little puddy I've ever seen! So affectionate and playful (and sleepy). In the last two days his name has been Treasure, Diamond, Pounce, Tootsie, Gabooshka, BubbaGanushka and Shaboosh! And he's still not sure which one he's going to go with yet! Andre just calls him "kitty-cat".

We just got home from Carols by Candlelight. Amanda's church runs it each year and there was free cake and cuppa's and a sausage sizzle, Christmas craft and facepainting, popcorn and fairyfloss. As soon as we arrived Andre's main purpose was to act as independently from the rest of his family as he possibly could so I spent the whole time trailing after him. The only time he actually stayed still for a few minutes was when Mum was doing a line dancing demo with the other bootscooting grannies. He was pretty impressed. When she'd finished he went and found her, instucted her to put her hat back on and then took her by the hand, dragged her back out the front and said "Dance!" The kids and I went in search of Christmas lights on the way home. Getting them to sleep in the car was pretty high on my agenda though. Bedtimes without Greg home is pretty hectic and usually full of strife but tonight I managed to carry them both from their carseats to their beds without any rousing. Success!

Made a yummy damper today for the fire we burnt overnight. Big bonfires are something we're all going to miss. Not that it's the weather for standing around tending fires! I'm already a puddle of sweat before 8:30 in the morning!

Had a few games of tennis yesterday with Mum and the PE teacher from school and her son. I was on a winning streak! Except the night before Greg pulled out the massage table and gave me an awesome deep tissue massage (Greg doesn't give any other kind) and every bit of me that wobbles when I run (a lot of bits) hurt like I was bruised all over >.< Worth it though.

Andre

2011-12-08T02:13:00.000-08:00

Now that Kindy's over me and the boys are languishing in the fact that we don't need to be anywhere and have stayed home for two entire days in a row. I haven't even started up the car in two days! That's good saves on petrol coz I'm broke! Ha ha.

Anakin and Andre have started each of those mornings by leaving me alone in bed to roll around as I please and have all the pillows to myself (such glory after my usual 6 or 7 hours of broken sleep squashed up between the two of them!) and heading down the orchard for a feed of berries. Except the mozzies are usually having a feed on them! And I rouse them back up to the house after 5 minutes or so.

Our excitement for the day today was a big dig through the sandpit to find half a bucket of marbles. Then they lathered up in soap and hanging on to each end of the skipping rope I dragged them repeatedly down the slip n slide. That was funny.

Oh and an electrician came to install a smoke alarm for us and fix a couple of lights. Yesterday Andre dragged a stool underneath the manhole and wanted me to lift him up there, he reckoned there was a snake in roof he wanted to see. So today when the young lad brought his ladder in and climbed up in the roof space he thought it was great! From then on all he wanted to talk about was the "guy in there". It was his favourite topic of conversation. Me and Anakin humoured him all afternoon with "Yeah, he climbed up in the ceiling hey Bub? Wonder if he saw the snake."

Andre talks so well now. I was getting a bit worried for a while because he showed no real interest in trying to talk much and then all of a sudden he just did. There was no real approximation of speech for him. It seems he just woke up one morning conversational. I'd painted my nails late the other night and when he woke up the next morning and noticed them he said "Awww beautiful! I like it!" But like Anakin when he was little - he won't say his own name. If you ask him what his name is he just says "Me". How damn cute is that but.

Andre has been a bit tough on me. God knows I so wanted this placid, sleep-loving, easy-going boy like Greg apparently was because I thought, mentally and physically that was all I was going to be able to cope with but somehow I ended up with a little hellraiser who's tested me out big time. Up until recently everything to do with him seemed like a complete struggle. Every nappy change was a battle - him kicking and scrambling away, every feed was a mental torture - he has this habit of changing sides every half a minute and won't settle down AT ALL unless he's tweaking away at my other nipple - CHRONIC! And remarkably I'm still breastfeeding him. (And it's still just as horrible!) Bedtimes were often a physical battle. Trips to the shops a nightmare. He never cared if he was in trouble so it was very hard to discipline him. I always (half) joked that it was definitely his first incarnation as a human being because his first instinct was to hit out, stamp his feet and scream his demands at you. He seemed like this little wild animal and we've really had to work at him to be smoochy and come to us for cuddles and kisses coz he just didn't care about affection at all. My other two were much more civilized as babies!! You could just tell Andre hated being a baby! He wanted to do things so bad and just fought his way through each developmental stage and always desperately onto the next. He still now always wants to do everything for himself and is so capable and determined but thankfully much happier that he can do fun stuff like tear around on a bike, climb up to where he wants to be, help in the kitchen, run like the wind... It was basically torture for him being trapped in his little baby body. And it was terrible for me thinking if he could read my mind he wouldn't even feel loved - all my internal monologues where like "keep quiet you little shit!"; "Why did I have to get you??"; "Stop being a freak!!"; "Stop SQUIRMING!!!" Sounds so terrible when I write it like that - I must have thought those things a million times! :( Anyway since he's much happier with his capabilities now and he's all done with teething which was really horrible for him and as long as I don't try stupid things like taking him grocery shopping etc it's all pretty nice. I'm still having to resettle him about 20 times a night; slipping the nipple out of his mouth and sneaking away from him as if he was a bloody newborn so I don't get that much of a break from but once he's off the boob and sleeping through I'll be rejoicing in never having to go through all that ever again!

He was two yesterday! Did I say that? And he's still a bit of a brute but we've managed to soften him up during those two years and he's my little darling as well! I love him to pieces!

Try this.

2011-12-05T17:28:00.001-08:00

Eating a huge jacket potato with bacon n onion, garlic butter, cheese, sour cream n coleslaw. It is the BEST. Yum! Left overs actually, from Andre's 2nd birthday celebration on Saturday. We had the slip n slide out for the kids but it rained too much for the bonfire we had planned. The spuds were suppose to go in the coals, we had to improvise. Andre's birthday cake was made from a chocolate cake recipe I've used a few times for birthdays this year "Jimmy's Chocolate Cake" and is definitely worth passing around. From memory it goes:

Bring to boil and then remove from the heat 600mls of cream, 4 and a half tablespoons of cocoa and 1/2 a cup of oil. Add this to 2 and a 1/2 cups of sugar and 2 and a 1/2 cups of s.r flour n beat. Combine 3 beaten eggs a teaspoon anilla essence 1 and a 1/2 teaspoons of bicarb and add to the mix.

There's also a mock cream that goes with it where you boil up a sugar syrup for five minutes - 1 cup of water and 1 cup of sugar cool it and then slowly beat it into 7 tablespoons of creamed butter.

It's won Mum the Best Chocolate Cake at the banana festival and when you taste it you'll know why. If I've got any room after this potato that's exactly what I'll be eating next.

2011 - a write off.

2011-12-05T04:29:00.000-08:00

So I don't think I know how to blog anymore but I'm going to give it a crack. I wish I never stopped. Then there'd be posts (relieving rants) about Andre's personality disorder almost driving me to get a prescription filled (the last time I wrote about him here I was describing him as a content baby that slept alot - what was that about! That must of lasted half a week!) And I'd have written about how amazing it was to be in the eye of a monsterous cyclone - that was wild. Not as scary as being the mother of a 15 year old "run-to" though. Maybe I'll just start with a post about each of my boiz n then I'll just take it from there as though I never left.

Yes it's true,

2011-05-04T03:54:00.000-07:00

there are dust bunnies chasing the tumble weeds in here.

Ma birthday!

2010-07-12T03:58:00.000-07:00

Well the sweat pimple I got on my arse has healed, and my shoulders which yesterday felt as if they had been tasered right in the major nerve supplies are much better. Recovery from my all day ZUMBA instructor training workshop on Saturday has been surprising swift. The worst pain I suffered was from being without Andre and towards the end of the workshop my boobs were so sore from being engorged with milk - my God! Try doing chest pumps and shoulder shimmies with massively sore boobs - OUCH! My friend Jennifer, (you might remember her as the chiropractor I fell in love with after she cracked my neck and fixed my headaches, not to mention she is a total spunk..) offered me her spare extra supportive crop top but I had to resort to contacting Greg to bring in Andre for an emergency feed in the middle of the last master class. The training day was excellent - kinda like being at uni again with the handouts and manuals and powerpoint presentation but way more fun and sweat and minus the note taking. (So, okay not much like uni at all.) The guy running it was an absolute dream to look at and I don't give away compliments too often but check him out on facebook if you like - "Jaime Farfan", mmm-mmm. Between him and Jennifer I was bedazzled by beauty. One day I'm going to get serious about making Zumba my lifestyle.. In the meantime I can't wait to get back to class tomorrow night!

Had such busy school holidays. Izzy spent 2 weeks here!!! (Bar weekends) So nice! He let me give him a nice hair cut (actually requested one!!) and we made a compromise that he can dye his hair whatever the hell colour he wants (Joker-Green) as long as he doesn't stretch his lobe any more!

My old neighbour and close friend Julie came down with her kids and spent 3 nights. We hadn't seen each other for about a year! so it was excellent having her here - she's great company. She's just bought an old Queenslander in Railway Estate, Townsville and is in the midst of doing major reno's so we pawed over house plans and Home Beautiful mags (Greg bought me a subscription - YAY!) and talked all house and building stuff - my favourite topic! We spent plenty of time in the kitchen feeding the troops, I did the cooking and she did the dishes - Man it was nice having a kitchen hand! Actually life is so much easier with another woman in the house!! Even if she comes with 3 extra kids!

My birthday was on Friday and Julie made me breakfast before she packed up to take the kids home - the BEST omelet I've ever eaten with left over roast veges, mushrooms, chicken and Havarti cheese - to die for! And she showered me in cool pressies from SMIGGLES!! I love that shop! Greg and the kids gifted me a new camera! Mum brought down a humongous and still warm chocolate cake with home made mock cream and Nick gave me a gift voucher for the Healthy Harvest - knowing myself I'll probably end up spending the whole $100 on their organic dark chocolate!

It's Anakin's birthday next week. 4!! We're inviting our friends to pack a picnic lunch and join us on a bushwalk to Lugger Bay. Hope the weather will be good! He's going to love his prezzies too! Dragons, dinosaurs, things to hatch and train..dress-ups.... We were thinking of a disco dance party but he opted for the bushwalk instead.

I love that little boy so much. You should see the enjoyment he squeezes out of life and the simple things he can turn into a real laugh. He was given a helium balloon the other night and after having all sorts of games with it and playing with it non stop for an entire day he asked me to write "For Sale" on it and then tucked it into André's shirt so as he crawled around the house the For Sale sign hovered over him. He thought that was hilarious. He has his tantrums and dilemmas too of course. Last night I opened the door to throw an old pomelo into the bush and off went his balloon high into the trees - he HOWLED! "Now someone will think that my balloon is for sale!!" But his natural propensity is always to smile and joke, laugh and wink and give thumbs up. I'd die without him.

Andre is a powerhouse. You hold that boy out and he just writhes and twists like a spring of muscle. He's been crawling on all fours for about a month now and can pull himself up to standing on all the furniture. He usually has one big feed of tucker a day now, not that he has any teeth yet - either mashed avo and banano, sweet potato and pumpkin, black sapote, or store bought organic blends. When I was at my Zumba Workshop Greg bought him to see me at lunch time and he was so well fed on food and green coconut milk he wouldn't even have boobie! Every now and again he'll go off his tucker for a couple of days but generally he hooks in. I've got to keep a close eye on him coz there's usually grass and paper in his poo too!

I told you about his beautiful sing-song voice, well these days he's more inclined to make oddly disturbing noises, one is like that of someone imitating machine gun fire and the other sounds like he's having an asthma attack!

Queens Birthday Weekend

2010-06-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

Well the season at the Mill has almost started so I've gone from having Greg at home for 3 day long weekends EVERY weekend to him doing all this overtime and barely seeing him!! He's suppose to knock-off an hour earlier than he used to but I've been getting these horrible phone calls from him at 3:30 to tell me he's got to stay for another few hours. YUCK! Then I'm racing off to Zumba when he gets home - so yeah, I see him in my dreams though. Poor guy is so hard up when he sees me in the flesh, his eyes roll up a little in his head, his knees weaken and then he almost passes-out.

André turned 6 months on the 7th!! And if the surface is right and his clothes not too slippery he crawls on all fours!! Such a strong little boy. Today he started saying Mum-mum-mum!

We've been spending heaps of time outside with all this beautiful weather. (Thank God the mozzies have diminished - I was nearly going stir crazy!!) We've been making a "camp" underneath the trampoline - but it obviously doesn't provide the depth of shade my little red-head needs, I've noticed he's a little bit blushed today. Poor love! But this winter sun is just SO nice! Izzy was here all weekend (ya-HOO!!) and we dragged a mattress onto the truck's roof rack and had a picnic up there!

Anakin went to the dentist today. He burst into tears when it was time to get into the chair. I ended up having to pass André to one of the dental nurses and lay down underneath him. He really needs a couple of fillings. He's been having trouble with his teeth for a few weeks now - waking up crying with a toothache and having to spend half the day with a tooth brush dangling from his mouth! But today, with all the time we wasted trying to coerce Anakin into going anywhere near the dentist he only had time to medicate it a little. Next time will be the real deal, and I'll have to recruit a babysitter for André! Poor love.

OMG you should see how tall Izzy is these days. Towers over me! And takes the same shoe size as his dad already! It was so nice having him home hanging out with his little brothers and he caught up with his best mate and his cousins as well. Greg was putting on his friendly face and they went fishing together and had a nice time, thankfully. I dunno what he's doing with his hair lately. He's dyed it black and it looks like a disaster! Apparently he's letting it grow so he can get dreadies. I can't really say too much when I actually stop and consider myself at his age. I was a complete fashion disaster. Plus his favourite singer of all time is Zach DelaRocher so I'm a little bit proud of that! He's enjoying Cairns and spending heaps of time with all the other side of his family, but it's virtually impossible meeting kids his own age when he doesn't go to school and I feel sorry for him in that sense. Can't wait until his old enough to get some work and he can get a part time job at Woolies or something. He tells me how he hangs out at JB HiFi and helps people out like he's a staff member, I dunno how much of his stories he makes up just for my amusement but it sounds like something he'd do. He must have sent 20 texts while he was here, tells me he's messaging his friends from Subway... I dunno..

Me and Greg met with a building designer on Tuesday out at the block. That was super exciting!!! I LOVE my floor plans so much and he had great ideas about building materials that really matched my ideas and the flavour of the place. I can't wait to hear back from him. We were toying with the idea of moving somewhere already established. We both fell in love with Coolangatta while we were down there with the kids on the May Day weekend and I found this lovely place at Helensvale and then there's this gorgeous home at Trinity Beach. Buying seems the more financially sensible decision over building in the current market, but we just can't walk away from our dreams of building at the block. Well I can't anyway. Greg would still be living in his family home at Mooroobool if I didn't shake him up and get him going! And now he's just as happy spending his entire life here, where his two children were conceived. I don't really think I could go back to living on a house block when I've spent all this time on an acreage either. The space and privacy and rural lifestyle are just too favourable.

Greg's brother Chris has bought a beautiful 5 acre property with 250 mature rambutan trees and mangasteens and all these other fruit trees. He moves in in a couple weeks. It's going to be awesome raiding his trees!! Better make sure I stay on his good side ;)

There's a Zumba party on this weekend to raise money for the PCYC. Can't wait to take the kids and Greg. I've got my legwarmers and my fluorescent bracelets all ready to DISCO DISCO!

Dear Tiff,

2010-05-31T19:39:00.000-07:00

Well here I am and it's JUNE you tell me! Not one solitary entry in May and probably only one solitary entry for April. Just not good, and you check every day too! Poor baby. You know I love you.

You know what's been keeping me busy? Cleaning the bloody floors! There's nothing like a sweet white outfit on an even sweeter baby to let you know how grubby your floors are! Yep André is totally mobile now. I got a photo of him disappearing into the bathroom today, from the other end of the hall.

I think he was trying to tell me he needed a bath, after another coating of bird feathers and seed husks from our very messy (and noisy) budgies, a few hair balls (yes, I'm still malting) and some tuna grease and stray rice bubbles (Anakin now insists on meals being taken on the floor!).

Yes, he is a sweet baby. He stops people dead in their tracks to admire him. Hippy ladies at the markets tell me what a beautiful energy he has... His darling face absolutely lights up when he sees his Mumma's home from Zumba. He loves to grab the hair on both sides of my head to pull me in for a kiss. (All my kids have done that! - I must be tasty!) He is also a real difficult boy and sometimes everything I do for him is a struggle. Feeding him is a struggle - he grabs handfuls of my skin and pinches away, wriggles and carries on and wants to swap boobies all the time. He can be thrashing about on the boob right up until the moment he goes limp and falls asleep! I have to pin him down to change his nappy - another struggle! Travelling with him is the total pits, he still HATES his carseat. He cries just looking at the thing! On our trips to Cairns I resort to doing highly illegal things that the ladies on Essential Baby would totally roast me over the flames for! He hates his walker too - so that's out! Most babies I see just sit there happily looking about from their prams or from their parents laps, André will not relax - he is constantly struggling to achieve that next step in his physical progression. Thank goodness he's crawling because up until now it seems like he's been completely frustrated with all the things he can comprehend that his body can't manage to pull off!! He's too smart for his own good! All of my boys have been such DEMANDING children. I dunno how come I'm not completely nuts! I tell you what but, I'm going grey at a rapid rate of knots!

Anakin gives me a break only when he's watching his favourite shows, and then I worry about how much telle he's had! He loves being all over me and as soon as André isn't in my arms he wants to be up for a cuddle. He loves to wedge himself between me and whatever it is I'm doing! Yesterday I had André clambering all over me in the bed finding handfuls of very sensitive skin to pinch on and Anakin jumping all around my head on the pillows which gave me the sense that I was about to get my hair stood on at any second - and yep, some little artery in my brain went POP and I had an instant headache! This is how my life is. I'm actually getting a moments peace now but half the time I'm at the computer with Anakin circumnavigating my body using my neck (with it's vital airways) as a good grab-hold to pivot around and around my chair!

I can get away with doing my own thing with Anakin as long as I'm inventive enough to keep up a vernacular that makes him feel like we're having the best game ever! I managed to pull off a few hours to redraw my house plans (I think they're near perfect now!) only because I convinced him I was "designing a new dojo - a training facility of the likes never seen before, for Trunks and Goten to perfect their mastery of the Ka-Mi-YAH!!"

I've got more coming, but Anakin needs company on the toilet (!) and with André finally asleep I feel like I'm on borrowed time. XXX

Us Post-Easter

2010-04-05T19:40:00.000-07:00

I've been so accident prone all of a sudden. I slurped boiling hot water all over myself after ordering a cuppa tea at the macca's drive through and ended up with a nasty burn on both my thighs - the one time their cuppas were actually high tide. I caught the back of my heel coming in through the screen door and took out a nasty chunk of skin. Talk about smart. Then Anakin fully headbutted me in the forehead. Geez. Hope that's the last of it for a while.

Greg spoilt the end of my Easter weekend with a gutful of rum or bourbons or something. It ended up with nasty putdowns (Greg), a big heap of profanities (Izzy), a kick in the shorts (Izzy's shorts), a hole in the wall (Greg), a broken tail-light (me), a crooked gate (me), a cold shoulder (Greg, getting my cold shoulder). More like a frozen shoulder. It's only slightly thawing now... a week later. Too right. I want my family home to be somewhere ALL my children can feel is a haven. Izzy has a mouth on him sometimes but Greg is suppose to have experience and maturity on his side, half the time he acts like more of a juvenile. It's so frustrating because he is father-of-the-year with his own kids but when he's mean to Izzy I feel like packing up all his belongings and throwing them out the front door. I wish all my kids had the same dad!

Anyway I picked Izzy up from his new place in Cairns to take him round to my brother's for a swim when we were up last week. He seems happy and relaxed and content there with his dad, so I'm relieved for him because as depressing as it is to say - it was really starting to get out of hand around here.

André has started on a bit of tucker now! I didn't think I'd be offering him solids as early as 4 months but he's really into it! Yesterday was his first go with a spoon and he is really good at it. Not too messy at all. Just before, I gave him a drink out of a glass - no spills. Clever boy! He's also had a couple of little stints in the jolly jumper, he really likes that. He is just so desperate to be on the go! An old Italian man at the shops was watching him wriggling and writhing around in my arms and commented "such a little baby and he already wants to hop down and run away!" It's even obvious to total strangers! His Nan bought him a 2nd hand walker and after reading Once Upon a Dream I ordered him an Ergo - I can't wait to see his little round ginger nut poking out from the top of that camel coloured carrier - they'll be well matched I dare say. All devices to give my tired arms a break!!

I made us juice this morning it was celery, parsley, ginger, beetroot, pear, apple, pineapple and orange!! Anakin drank up two glasses! Another one of his extremes is his eating habits! He'll either be happy to guzzle down fresh healthful juice and asks for extra salad with his dinner and loads of veges, or he'll just decide he wants mayonnaise for dinner, or bbq sauce or toothpaste! He's out fishing with his dad at the moment. He always apologises profusely when they get back with no fish. I tell him as long as he gets home safe that's all I care about.

Everyone came over for dinner last night. I made the yummiest pumpkin soup, Mum brought her homemade savoury bread to dunk into it, Nick brought her delcious beetroot and carrot salad with lime and honey dressing and some vegetarian nori rolls (she's gone vego). Mum's just got back from a holiday in Tazzie and stayed here half the night googling properties in St Helen. She reckons she's selling up and wants all of us to relocate with her. Sounds pretty good - no heat, no mould, no mozzies, no guinea grass or Singapore daisy, big lakes, clean oceans, everywhere has a view...

Easter!

2010-03-30T23:54:00.000-07:00

Izzy left for his new home in Cairns. That kid has a very definite version of reality - not necessarily based on any semblance of the truth or steeped in any fact. I'm sure though that the more times he repeats his version of the way things are, the more firmly he'll believe them, he might even create whole new memories - how inventive! Man, I gotta laugh when the other alternative is brokenheartedness.

But anyway, it's Easter Sunday today and he got a lift back here with my brother Nicholas. We had a barbie at Nick's last night (my sister - yes they're both Nicks!) And a big easter egg hunt there this morning. The kids will all have excess chocolate induced diarrhea soon. I managed to get an apple, a grapefruit and a wheatbick inside of Anakin for breakfast this morning and he had a couple of nori rolls for lunch but other than that it's been Lindt bunnies for him! (At least it's good quality chocolate!) I was reading a book at Nicks all about the benifits of cold pressed coconut oil as opposed to all your trans-fatty acid, soy bean alternatives, it made me feel like being healthy for the entire time I was reading it! But as soon as I put it down it was like "where's that caramel tart?". Yesterday I made a batch of scones and we ate half a bottle of Rose Petal Jam! Man that stuff's good Tiff!

I'm still 7 kilos heavier than what I was 2 babies ago, but I don't really care too much. The less Greg looks at me the better!! Except it doesn't work! Poor guy's hard up most of the time and then I go around half undressed with my breastfeeding boobs out and he follows be around with his eyes boggling out of his head...

The Easter Bunny bought Anakin a great big box of Faber Castel colouring pencils and some tools for his playdoh. André got a new rattle (he loves his toys!) and this cool mesh contraption that he can suck fruit through. He's been showing a real interest in food lately and he's tried a little bit of pear and mulberry and this morning he had grated apple through his new sucking device. Izzy got a mini lime green colander to strain his noodles and pasta. That'll come in handy.

Last weekend we took all the kids to Coconuts with my sister's family to celebrate my nephews' birthdays. I love that place. Anakin kept saying "Can't you believe it?? We're finally at Coconuts!!" I had a ball with him running around and chasing one another around the slides of the new waterpark. We stayed for two nights and got a late check-out on the third day so it was a great old time. Greg took Anakin to see "How to Tame Your Dragon" on the Sunday and it was the first time he went to the movies!! He LOVED it! He sat up on his Dad's lap eating popcorn with his eyes glued. I wish I was there with him. But I got to stay back at the resort where Andre had a long sleep and I managed to paint my toenails and sharpen all of Anakin's pencils for him - he was very grateful. He always is the little darlin!

Plus I got to go op-shopping TWICE! I bought this whimsical little MinkPink dress that makes me feel like Carrie Bradshaw. The top section is just like a cream racer-back tank that finishes right under your boobs and attached is a pleated lined viscose skirt that balloons around - apricot with a cream, bird print - so dahling! But maybe not everyones cup of tea. Another find was a classic looking Jacquie E black dress and a sweet white frock I might wear to the "Bridal Couture" engagement party I'm planning for me and Greg. Can't wait to hit the op-shops when we go back up this week! The ladies have been bugging me to take Anakin. They miss him!! And they're interested in seeing the new baby too. The other night I dreamnt about the ultimate utopian op-shop experience - everywhere I looked there was cool garments - cool hats! cool shoes! Too good to be true!

André has been enjoying being passed around the family with Nan and Pa up for Easter. Mind you his eyes follow me around and he just beams big smiles at me whenever our gazes meet, which is pretty much the whole time, because I can't keep my eyes off him either! We got him up to go to the toilet last night and after his two early morning poo-poos he was "coo-ing" and "garr-ing", the SWEETEST talking sounds I've ever heard. He has a BEAUTIFUL, mellifluous voice, just like his great-Nanna. His movement have become very deliberate now. He reaches out to touch my face (or grab a big handful of hair! OUCH!) and can handle all his rattles quiet well. I lay him down over the top of a pillow with all his duplos and play things in front of him and given that his well rested and in a good mood, he can entertain himself on the floor for ages. (Well, ages being 10 minutes or so!) It's a bit scary but he LOVES the telly! He's stayed up 3 Friday nights in a row just to watch the footy ;) (His favourites are the Broncos ;) Neither of my other two even focused on the TV as infants, but this one fully twists around to check out whats on the tube!

Anakin has been a boy of extremes lately. He either thinks that it's been "The best day of his life!" or the "The best day in the whole world!" or it's "Humph! I hate this day!" (Usually when you tell him he's had enough Playstation and to turn it off. And usually on the same day!) He's always saying "I love my family. I love you guys so much." But it's always "I HATE Uncle Christo"!

I'll come back and add pix when Greg gets home with the camera!

Should be sleeping..

2010-03-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

What I shit day this ones turned out to be. I woke up totally depleted and fragile after having a migraine all night and after one too many battles over Izzy's school work I packed up every last book into the car and drove him to his Dad's a whole week early. We're constantly at each others throats. He drives me up the freakn wall! He pushes all my buttons and makes me miserable and then wants to know "Why are you such a stress case? Why are you angry all the time?" It's like beating someone up and then asking them why the have a black eye and blood on their face! He accuses me of caring about him too much.. " No more puppy-cradle-death-syndrome for you" I told him as I dropped him off.

He hates school so much but hopefully he lands on his feet one day, he's got enough personality and confidence but I mean who wants to do school work when you're perfectly happy watching re-runs of Flight of the Concords all day?

Anakin is my saviour though, for as many times as Izzy tells me "you annoy me, I don't even like you.." I have Anakin telling me what a beautiful Mum he thinks I am and how much he loves me. Thank the Lord for him, if I only had Izzy to listen to I'd think I was a complete failure as a parent!

My sister had her second miscarriage at 9 weeks pregnant on the weekend and the poor girls relationship with Chris always sounds like it's on the rocks. My two little boys bring her lots of happiness though. They are darlings. Her oldest child gives her all the heartbreak too. She turned 16 in January and then by February had run away from home to Townsville with her 20 year old boyfriend. She texts her Mum photo's of all her new piercings! At least she enrolled herself in school. That'd be the last thing on earth Izzy would do!

André is thriving. I never thought Greg and I would have a blue eyed baby, but they never ended up changing colour much. He's got these beautiful eyes - the colour of denim. A thick band of dark denim around the rims and stone wash around his pupils. He's got long eyelashes like Anakin but they're ginger just like his Dad. His nose is just like Jacob Blacks and has been ever since he was born. His chin is like a little doughnut. He's got the loveliest personality, I think he's going to grow up to be a gentle and patient boy. He talks to us all and gives everyone big beaming smiles. He loves to roll and if the surface is right he can roll from one side of a room to another if you let him! He loves his rattle and loves chewing on his fist and sucking his thumb. I have to bath him so much to keep the smell of spewk and spit off his little sticky hands. He gnaws away at my knuckles all the time, he gets stuck in really furiously and dribbles all over the place - little fella will have teeth popping up all over the place before too long. He hates going in his car seat and basically being in any reclined position (rockers, trolley seats..) - he does a continuous stomach crunch to try and sit upright just like Anakin used to! His been a real little wiggly worm lately. My arms are constantly fatigued trying to keep him under control!

Anakin's a 'busy boy'. We bought him a wooden desk and chair at the markets last weekend and I set it up in our room so while I'm putting André down to sleep he can colour quietly close by us. He sits there colouring three pictures at once. He's moved on from dragons to pictures of Naruto Uzamarki and Charizard. (Those Japanese cartoons have given him a whole new vocabulary to muck around with. He's always rolling words off his tongue, he repeats something over and over and then asks "What means that?") He's renamed himself "Dragon Jujitzu Wasingahn". Nice name. While he colours he sings to himself quietly. I often overhear "S'cuse me.. while I kiss the sky.." ... "Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games... it'll bring you to your nana nana knees nacaknees!" He's learnt to operate the CD player and knows which discs he likes. He finds the one with the eagle on it when he wants to listen to "Jimi Hendric" and then he puts on a big dancing performance on the bed for the entertainment of Andre and I. When he's finished he says "Your turn Mum". His memory is incredible. He can here something a couple of times and remember the tune days later. He watched Pokemon on one occasion and could recall so many of the critters' names - totally made up words that you can't even relate to anything! He doesn't need any help putting on the playstation anymore either and navigates his way through all the menu's and folders like and old pro. It makes me laugh to watch his tiny hands operate the toggles and buttons so deftly.

Me. Physically - My hair has just started to fall out now, was hoping to avoid that this time round. I've still got a big fat guts. It doesn't really worry me too much coz I'm just so glad to be pain free again and I'd rather have a bit of extra padding than to be sickly, which I'm definitely not! (Cept for the occasional migraine from hell.) Zumba has been excellent fun, I just go on my own, don't even talk to anyone there - just straight in and straight out - always in a hurry to get back home asap! But it's so great to do a bit of dancing again. I love it!

Sexually - my libido has vanished into thin air. While I was pregnant and super smokin hot to trot I told Greg to store all the good times in his memory bank, that it'd be fairly likely he'd need to draw on them in the barren times that lay ahead. I wasn't joking. Nah, but I'm fairly generous. Just as long as he doesn't expect me to go all crazy about it and doesn't mind me talking, laughing, yawning or rubbing my eyes.. like it's not even happening.... He doesn't.

Can't keep a good girl down!

2010-02-26T03:43:00.000-08:00

Just got home from being in Cairns for two days with the kids. Izzy had Activity Days at the Distance Ed school. The teachers there are awesome. Home schooling him is hectic! I stress out about the lecturettes and expositions and finance tests he's got to complete and he refuses to be phased. Stressing out is just not the way he rolls. Neither is staying on task for more than 15 seconds! ARRR!

Anakin is madly colouring in his 3rd colouring-in book in as many days! This one is full of intricate dragon pictures so should keep him busy for some time. Last time I took him to story-time in the library all the mum's were huddled around admiring his colouring and cutting skills. He just loves it so much and when he's not playing the PS3 (his other, newly acquired addiction - blame Greg), he's colouring, cutting and pasting all day long.

Speaking of story-time, the lady from the local paper took mine and Andre's picture while we were there and apparently it was in the paper today, groan, luckily for me my gorgeous baby will deflect the attention away from my general disheveled state, there's a substantial likelihood that my hair was a complete disaster considering I didn't even give myself a cursory glance in the mirror that morning. When I catch people staring at my crazy hair I say apologetically "if it looks like I just rolled out of bed, well.. actually.. that's just the way it happened." I can't really use the baby as an excuse though, my hair's always been a disaster!

I got it all cut off short again now. I was at the bank the other day chatting away to the ladies there when I ran my fingers through the back of my hair and discovered this long tendril stiffened by dried baby spewk! I thought nuh! It's time to go!

I started Zumba classes - it's fantastic, I love it! The household falls apart for the short hour and a half I'm away from home though! On my last return I got greeted by Anakin, (who had been sulking about my absence the whole time), with "I hate my dinner!" And Greg's voice booming this improvised opera to keep Andre agog instead of screaming for his Mumma. (Just looked up the meaning of "agog", so maybe not so much agog as... confused. Yeah, like confusion tactic.)

The trip to Cairns and back was fairly horrible as usual. There's only so many times you can stop on the side of the road to soothe and feed a crying baby before you think, shit, I've just gotta keep going or we'll never get there. That big Patrol we drive is so rugged too. Even when he does finally get himself to sleep, the first railway lines or pothole we drive over jolts him awake and then we're back to square one! Might have to try the Magna next time.

Greg coerced me into selling my beloved little caravan ;( I only had it for a year! But there's too many of us now and it was just a glorified cubby house for the boys to hang out in with their laptops. And for me to admire and clean lovingly like a giant aesthetic ornament.

It was sad for me coz I always saw myself in it, stealing weekends away on my own .. but that was never going to happen for a long, long time.. and with Centrelink being so slow to react (still haven't seen any baby bonus), we are feeling a bit of the pinch. Not that you'd know that the way I shopped (on the credit card) the last two days! A couple drove all the way from Victoria to come and pick it up! It'd been advertised on one website for only about a week or two! Anyway they're going to love it as much as me so that's all good, at least it will be getting some use. With all the rushing around getting safety certificates, gas certificates, rego certificates... plus all the home school stuff and kids and housework .. I felt FARK!!! I'VE GOT TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE. Izzy's Dad is going to take over being his home tutor in a few weeks when his job finishes up and then I'll be back to just the two littlies in the house. I few short weeks ago I was stressing out about Greg going back to work and being at home with them both alone, now I'm thinking it's going to be a breeze with the action that I've had lately!!

This and that and whatnot.

2010-01-26T16:17:00.000-08:00

Greg's gone back to work today >.< and I've been dreading it for the last 7 weeks! It's been productive and peaceful so far but it's not suprising that I've managed to: take Ting-Tang to the toilet several times and give him his bath, have a cuddle and a giggle and a chuckle and put him back to sleep, put some dishes away, wash up the rest, put on a load of washing, and one in the dryer, sweep the floor and get some pancakes into me all before 10 o'clock because Nick has my other two kids! It'll be a different ball game when they get home though - I bet!

We're going to miss Greg at home SO MUCH! He has been Anakin's big playmate all holidays and I hope he doesn't feel too neglected with just one, mostly preoccupied parent at home. Anakin has been such a beautiful big brother to Andre - he hasn't showed the slightest bit of jealousy or one inkling of spite AT ALL. All he has to say about Andre is "Mum, I CAN'T believe we've finally got our baby!" and "I love Andre SO much" and "Isn't he just so CUTE" ... I thought he might struggle with having to share his parents, but he is just such a loving boy, he's always giving us all big hugs and swooning "I love our family." I seriously don't know what I did to deserve that little boy ♥

I took Andre to school the other day to sit in on some professional development and to sort out the forms to move from a provisional to full teacher registration. (Man, I'll be celebrating with a beer when that comes in the mail!) André got passed around amongst the teacher aides and was mostly a quiet little boy sleeping in his stroller and having a feed. I still like to stay home mainly, but we are making progress from the days when he would scream relentlessly in his carseat on the way to the markets or Woolies and I'd be like "PLEASE REMIND ME TO NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN!!!"

I had my girlfriend Karen come and stay for a few days with her boy Jake. Jake and Izzy went to preschool together at Trinity Beach and she was my walking partner for a couple of years. She ended up moving to a beach further North and I ended up at a beach further South so we're miles away now but still try and catch up a couple times a year at least. She rides a Harley and is a prison guard, I told her she should do riot squad training and come back to sort my kids out for me ;) Jake has grown HEAPS - the boys are WAY taller than their mothers now. But they're still little shits ;) We got some tennis in while they were here. It's so good not to be in constant pain and to be able to run around again! (That pregnancy was HARD). But even with the heavy duty sports bras I'm still getting use to my big boobs. Greg reckons they're "happenin". I reckon he needs to take a photo coz they're not going to be around for ever.

I've got an interview with Cairns School of Distance Ed on Friday. I'm thinking I might home school Izzy. He got such a shocking report card last semester and it's not like he's stupid, he just thinks he know everything already! I lectured him for days over that report card, I was so upset with him. I told him he can't go around acting like he's smart and bring home marks like that! I sent him out in the yard over the holidays to give him a taste of menial labour and told him that's what he's got ahead of him if he continues on this road. He admitted it was pretty shocking and is going to try harder, concentrate more and be more organised this year. I told his dad that Izzy spending hours at home on his own in the afternoon before he gets home from work is not going to happen anymore. That he needs more supervision, more structure, more guidance... that he can come home to me in the afternoons where I will make sure he gets some decent food into him and supervise his homework etc. And then I'll drive Izzy down the road to meet him after knocking off work. Paul was ready to fob Izzy's bad results off saying "oh, you know, there's all sorts of people in the world, some people just aren't academic... ) And I'm saying "IT'S GRADE 8!!" And telling Izzy it doesn't generally get easier as you go along it gets harder! You need to put in the EFFORT now!!!! I was totally ropeable! (This is what I was dealing with two days after getting out of hospital.) Anyway I think Izzy appreciated my harder and MUCH more concerned stance on the whole situation and was very helpful and more respectful around here over the holidays so that's one thing. At the moment I'm sending him to school tomorrow to pick up his timetable so we can see if he got into the subjects he chose and collect some forms so he can sort out a tax return number (coz I'm sending him to work!). And then on Friday I'll have the home school interview, see if he can catch up on Japanese, which he is keen on taking... see how it all sounds. He is really keen on the home-school alternative and I like the idea of spending more time with him, I think it's much better for him here, being part of this family and being with his little brothers. I'm looking forward to getting stuck right into it with him and getting him up to speed with his schoolwork again and there's quite a lot of stupid shit going on at that school it wouldn't hurt him to avoid as well!

André is charging along! He's six kilo's now. He loves sucking his fist really hard - I think he's going to be a thumb-sucker as soon as he can co-ordinate himself. He still gets really flusted on the boob when my milk lets down, like he's half drowning. He pulls on and off and on and off and gets out of breath and grabs at me and claws. When he's not having these issues though he's such a sweetie at meal times. He has this little quiet moment of reflection before he attatches like he's saying grace. Sometimes he just licks at it like a little kitten. His eyes are still blue, maybe he'll take after Grandad "Frankie Blue Eyes".

You give me fever.

2010-01-04T01:19:00.000-08:00

My little Ting-Tang is losing his hair! His hairline has been receding rapidly for about a week now - where once his peachy fuzz actually met his eyebrows now he's starkly bald all the way back to the middle of his head! He reminds me of all those girls who have spent their lifetime pulling their hair back too tight and end up with more forehead than is natural. I love his ginger nut and hope his lost hair grows back exactly the same!

We are starting to get beautiful smiles out of him now. Unlike Anakin who was born smiling, he has been a fairly serious little fellow and I spend all my time trying to get him to lighten-up. I munch on his little chinny and blow mini-raspberries under his neckle. Then I kiss his lips one at a time - first his top one and then his bottom. He sticks his tongue out and licks me. It's so funny. His smiles are just beautiful. Anakin gets them when he brushes André's hair (and scalp!) When Izzy's around André seems amazed with him, his gaze follows his biggest brother around the house and he tries to locate him whenever he hears Izzy's voice.

(I did get around to cutting Izzy's hair. And then I dyed the end of his fringe and the tips of the back black. I really liked the way it turned out - his hair is very dark so it's quiet subtle. Anyway should stave off his urge to get a facial piercing or ear plugs for the time being at least!)

Greg's got a real way with him too. Sometimes (like 4am this morning) I just can't settle him down, sometimes he just needs his Daddy's arms I think.

Or maybe just someone without milk pouring through their clothes to remind him of how full he is already! My sister has the knack. She puts the kibosh on both my little boys. She just makes all the grizzles melt away as they turn to putty in her hands.

As I hoped Anakin woke up after New Years Day right as rain. His beautiful eyes as bright as normal and his enthusiasm back with a vengeance. Except Andre suffered the same fever a couple days later and spent an entire day sleeping on one of us, boiling hot - so cruel in this already incredible heat. He whimpered in his sleep and everytime we moved him he screamed like his bones where broken :( how unbearably cruel for such a tiny little boy :( Thankfully he came good just as fast as Anakin :)

We've had an influx of visitors lately and it's been really nice. Kelly and her kids came to swim in the pool and eat sweet treats... Yesterday we had friends over with their first born of 9 weeks. The two babies had a nice chorus of squarks and squeals going on at times. It was funny. Poor little Jayden who's use to life inside an air conditioned house didn't know what was going on! He fretted and fussed until his mum put a wet washer on his head and put him directly under the fan - he passed-out in 2 seconds flat after that! I've used that little trick a couple times since! We've had Bowie over, a mate of Greg's who can talk about anything and is so easy going, you could adopt him into the family without a single hump. We've had René and Tiff and their kids, who are my family anyway, and who are always such a huge help with the kids. My old friend Tracy dropped in all glorified in her hotpants and diamante fuchsia heels. I said to her "Tracy have you had a boob job recently?" And she's like "No. They're just fantastic!! Aren't they fabulous?" She takes herself to restaurants for lunch and drinks cosmo's and salt n pepper calamari." She's a local but could have walked off the set of AbFab. She cracks me up. Big time. Then we've had Greg's parents the last few days too. And Greg's cousins here today. We're always catching up with friends and family - just about every dinner time! It's the holiday season alright - going on and on...

Speaking of which I need to go get ready for our dinner date at the resort! xxx Not that any food can be better than the breakfasts I've been eating all Summer. Check this out:

My bum hates me.

2010-01-01T03:02:00.000-08:00

Yep. It does. Something's going on down there. Besides the fact that I almost have an anxiety attack whenever I need to do a number two - a lingering post-natal side-effect, reminding me how glad I am that I'm never going to use my body to push another baby out, ever again. Maybe they put a few stitches in my arse while they were down there - how lewd can I be, but seriously. Ouch.

André is fleshing out, with little ham hock arms and I can actually fit clothy nappies on him these days. Not that he needs them much. We go through WAY more nappies mopping up spewkies. We thought we were pretty good having Anakin on the potty at 3 months. André's 3 weeks and for the last week we have been holding him over the toilet for about 70% of his wees and 100% of his poos. He wiggles about in bed when he needs to go and just won't stop wriggling until I take him to the loo and then it's straight back to sleep. Little babies - they do those power squirts of milky curdles straight into the toilet bowl. We just say "Do a wee-wee. Do a wee-wee." And he concentrates real hard and grunts away until he's all done. It's all over in about 20 seconds and then we wipe his little butt with a makeup remover pad and off we go to put his dry nappy back on. Too easy - well not quite as easy as just letting him pee his pants I spose.

He had a few real squarky, fussy days there where I thought something I was eating might have been having an affect on him but I did a heap of reading and now that I'm a bit more aware of the whole fore-milk, hind-milk situation, I've been trying harder to get him through the whole foreceful letdown stage and persisting through to the hindmilk without swapping him over to the other one or figuring he's just frustrated by actually getting milk at all and wants to comfort suck on a dummy.. Now he's spewking up a whole lot less and settling a fair bit easier too, with a big full belly I hope...

Another thing that might have been unsettling him is that the humidity has been totally "off the chain" (I got that one from Izzy). I sit here at the computer with sweat rolling constantly down my chest. I wish I was like my sister - she never sweats. Not the faintest sign of a sweat moustache ever. Greg set up the pool with a shade sail and the kids have been having a riot in it every day.

I've got the carport set up nice with the comfy outdoor furniture and the camping mat on the ground, potplants hanging up, and the caravan is tucked up under the eaves out there, I've got a fan plugged in and Greg has his homebrew rum and coke on tap out there. We've got the life I tell you. I sit out there cracking macadamia nuts and doing crossword puzzles, with the baby snuggling in to me. It's the best. I'm not bleeding anymore so I can finally swim too. Though I usually opt for cold showers. I start off the day dressed. And then the shirt comes off. And then the pants come off. Poor Izzy has had to stomach his Mum getting around half the day in her bra and undies. I jump in the shower and walk around wet, until I dry out and then I do it again. Straight cold. That's all I've been using for ages. Not Izzy though coz he was complaining to me last night "I bloody hate this shower. I'm either freezing my balls off, or getting third degree burns!" He makes me laugh..

Anakin, the poor darling woke up all night last night and by this morning had a raging temperature. He reckons every time he shut his eyes he saw monsters and robots and a plane coming out of my poster. He was delirius the poor boy. During his garbled mummerings he still managed to tell me how beautiful he thinks I am. That child is a total angel I tell you! He ate orange and cherries and watermelon today and a few other bits and pieces. He picked up a bit during the middle of the day, but I think he got carried around as much as André today. Thankfully he's got two parents home! He's going to get his sickness out of the way real early this year and spend the rest of it in superlative health!

André's arrival.

2009-12-16T18:11:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I met with Nick and friends at the creek. Lumbering over toward them in the heat the girls took one look at me and together greeted me with a gasp and a "Oh, you poor thing!" This is a pic we took that day - the second last day I was pregnant with André Lennard. My darling little Ranga-tanga-ting-tang. My sweet little Gingernut. Yep that is a pattycake in my hand. As if I needed more help getting any bigger when I was carrying another 8lb 12oz baby inside my on-the-short-side 161cm body!

Sunday night, our same group of friends joined up at Nick's to share dinner. We ate Caesar salad and nori rolls, fried rice, bruchetta, potato salad and bbq'ed meat and followed it up with caramel tart and Jenn's fudge with cuppa's for dessert. (We eat like it's Xmas every bloody weekend!) I remember saying after dinner "Imagine going into labour this full of food!" And Nick commenting "You'd probably just throw it all up". (Didn't happen. My body wasn't wasting all that good tucker!)

Me and Greg had an argument on the way home so he went straight to bed sulking as soon as we got here. I stayed up looking at real estate and drafting blurbs for our property, (selling has been under discussion). I was sitting here at the computer suffering the most swollen itchy feet lamenting the fact that I could reasonably nag a person for a footrub who I'd just called a horrible pig and an idiot >.< Mum came down for a piece of fudge and a cuppa at about 10 and we yakked on for ages so it was a pretty late night for me.

I tossed and turned in Anakin's bed for the next hour or so, even though it's the comfiest in the house (not that he'd know that, he's always slept in our bed!). For the last few weeks, dreaming at night had pretty much come to a grinding holt, it was as if my thought processes had become monosyllabic or something, I had one thought, a monothought, all night, every night, my mind was fixated on the impending audible cracking sound of my waters breaking. But come to think of it, it couldn't have been the only thing in the back of my mind, there was the simple urge to get my rocks off, every now and again, and an orgasm is quite useful in getting off to sleep, ask anyone. Greg doesn't usually get any when I'm in a bad mood with him but I figured 1 o'clock in the morning when I was feeling a bit toey was a good a time as any to patch up a rift, so I tiptoed into his room and stood over the bed looking at him until he woke up. I did hold his hand tenderly as he was waking so he didn't get the wrong message and think some paranormal activity had possessed me, or maybe Mrs Bobbit. Anyway he hasn't knock back my advances yet and wasn't about to start so I lead him into the next room and, well, you know..

I was lying there a while later coming to terms with the 2 days left until André's EDD. Thinking, yeah I can wait that long, I'm feeling okay with that.. Greg was hunched over on the floor with a torch trying to trap a firefly in a jar when my nephew, who was staying with Iz in the caravan, walked passed and probably thought to himself "What the hell is he doing??"

Before Greg took himself back to bed he joked with me "We need a code word something to say: The Baby's Coming! How 'bout "peaches"?? I love peaches!" 5 minutes later I rolled over in bed and there it was, that deep internal thud that I had been anticipating for days!! I slipped out of bed and into the loo. Sure enough waters had started to trickle out of me. Greg appeared instantly with an expectant "Peaches??"

We still hadn't really decided where I was going to give birth!! But made up our minds pretty quickly after that to just go up the road to the local hospital. We rang ahead so they could get my file faxed down and the midwife I spoke to sounded great - down to earth, straight forward, unflustered. Over the next 20 minutes I fully saturated a few more sets of clothes while I threw a few more things into the hospital bags and ran off a hardcopy of my birth plan. Greg had a big bowl of cereal, and we called Mum to come down and sleep for the rest of the night next to Anakin. We also called Nick, so she would be here first thing in the morning so Mum could get ready for work.

We hung around for a bit. Mum talked us through a tutorial on her camera as ours was out-of-action after Greg jumped into the creek with it in his pocket on Saturday (our 2nd camera that was suppose to be waterproof, but wasn't!) Things didn't seem to be progressing as fast as they did with Anakin's birth. I was sad kissing Anakin goodbye because the poor boy had fallen asleep in the car to the sounds of his parents berating each other :( but hoped that by the time he woke up in the morning we'd have the much awaited news of his little brother's arrival to share with him and a big introduction to make :D. I tried to wake Izzy up in the van to let him know I was off to the hospital but, man, when teenagers finally get to bed, they sleep like the dead!

I had two contraction but otherwise tried to totally relax during the 15 minute drive into town, I hadn't really managed any sleep yet and knew I was going to need my energy before this night was over. We talked a little about possible middle names, another detail that was still under discussion but on a whole I fell quiet and introspective, readying myself mentally for the momentous physical and emotional rollercoaster ahead.

The midwife, Diane, greeted us and settled us into the birthing suite. She read through my birth plan and I was grateful when she had no queries or questions over my choices there. We got to know each other a bit. Turned out she also has a Grade 8er at Tully High and went to school herself with a couple of my Aunties and Uncles. (As has every other local between the ages of 70 and 40!) I talked her through my other two births and my expectancy of this birth proceeding similarly to Anakin's - fast and furious. I rubbed my belly and told her hopefully "but this ones going to be a bit nicer to Mummy". Greg took a couple of photo's before my belly (or half of it anyway) was gone, and I marveled over the little fella getting the hiccups for the last time in utero. Although I couldn't quite work out how there could be enough amniotic fluid left for him to drink!

Diane took herself off to fill in all the paperwork and I paced around willing things onward and outward! We'd arrived at the hospital at about quarter to 3 and I was giving myself until 7am to birth this little Bubba.

First stage of labour was turning out marvelously. I spent most of it in the shower with warm water pouring onto my lower back. I took in a plastic chair so I could lean over it with my hands bracing the armrests. I swayed my hips backward and forwards and focused on relaxing and "Baby down. Cervix open". I found myself worrying about how much water I was wasting! And between trips to the toilet to poo - throwing on the hospital gown just for the novelty of it - because I'd never worn one before! That's how easy it seemed! When Diane came to check on me I told her I was worried I was somehow hindering progress and maybe I should do something different - go for a walk around the hospital or something. She advised to stay where I was. That the shower was helping with pain relief and I could only be assisting progress by remaining on my feet and swaying my hips. That I was fine how I was! Greg kept asking if I needed anything and if there was anything he could do for me. I told him to lie down and go to sleep!

It took me a little by suprise when I noticed the sun was up. There was a gorgeous tree blossoming pink flowers taking up most of the space in the window and the rain was pouring down all over it. Beautiful. I was starting to think delivering this boy within my self imposed time frame was seeming a bit unlikely when contraction began to overlap and strengthen. I couldn't get through them quietly anymore and the moaning and groaning began in earnest. I laboured on for another 20 minutes before requesting an internal. Diane took her time getting to me, and busied herself getting things ready for the baby. I think she had a hands off philosophy and was sure I'd know insinctively when to start pushing, and I think I took her by suprise reaching transistion this quickly. Greg helped me get a beanbag onto the floor where I knelt on my knees (is there another way to kneel??) and we dragged an upholstered armchair up close for me to drape myself over and rest my head on between contractions. When that blessed internal finally came Diane announced that my cervix was fully dilated and it I felt pushy than go right ahead. I was determined to get this over with as quick as possible so with the next couple of contractions I did just that. Pushed hard. She encouraged me to put my fingers inside myself and feel his head bearing down on my cervix. I wish I had of given the moment I got to feel André's head for the first time, the attention and awe it was due, but I was kind of in the middle of something. After another push or two I apologised "I don't think I'm going to be able to push this baby out without doing a poo." She counselled me "Don't you worry about that, don't let that hold you back! You just push as hard as you can, right into your bottom." I listened to every word she said. When she said "Relax your shoulders." I relaxed my shoulders. When she said "I can almost see his face. Hold it there. We don't want you to tear. Take little breaths... little breaths... little breaths." I just puffed away in total agony, doing just like she'd asked. The next push and a huge roar, and his head was born, another push and another roar! and his sholders. The pain was excruciating as his body eased it's way out, so I gave him a helping hand with one final push just to finish the job. It was 6:15 - plenty of time to spare!

I was facing the wrong way and couldn't see a thing though. Greg got a hold of me under the arms to help lift me around to greet my little man. There he was a perfect little boy stretched out on the bean bag. So, so perfect. I couldn't believe I'd done it again - made such a beautiful little thing. I barely even realized the craziness going on around me. While I was twisting around to see him the umbilical cord had snapped in the middle and blood was pouring all over my legs and all over the floor. Greg got to cut what remained of his cord and then I had my first nurse! What a little sweet cake! His apgar scores where 9 and 10 and he was making wee little talking noises already.

News travelled fast and my BF was on the phone before third stage labour had even set in. With one visitor on the way already I figured it was time to request some syntocinon and get on with it. OUCH!! That injection HURT!! I complained loudly too, which was kind of comical considering what I'd just been through!

After our first, long, yummy, big, big cuddle, there was a change of shift and Greg and Wendy - our next midwife took André for a deep warm bath.

I took a chance to have my 20th shower for the day and get some fresh clothes on. Then I picked out Baby's first little outfit and wobbled my way up the ward to join them. He's was fast asleep in his tubby-tub. Nawwww.

We settled into our room and adored our baby together, before the boys came to meet their little brother, before the steady stream of family and friends began to arrive and while waiting for the doctor to finish his rounds and come and give me the three stitches I needed. That's what happens when you push out your baby in 6 MINUTES! The hospital staff kept popping in to tell me how "clever" I was. I don't know about clever, just determined to get the intensely painful bit out of the way asap!

Anyway this recount could go on and on and already I've been trying to finish it for like four days. He's two weeks old now and is just a perfect little thing. He sleeps extremely well, way better than the last two! He loves his Mumma's titty milk. He's just really calm and mellow and content. The boys are both totally besotted. Izzy's always asking to hold him and Anakin follows me around kissing every part of him he can reach!

I really need to come back soon and update on all the things that have been happening lately, but I'm really needing to wrap presents, grocery shop for Xmas, cut Izzy's hair... there's so many things that need to be done. Thank the Lord Greg's on holidays for the next 6 weeks. Woop Woop.

What say?

2009-11-23T17:53:00.000-08:00

Anakin was lying on the bedroom floor practising his handwriting yesterday arve and I was lounging on the bed doing a crossword when I said to him hopefully "Your little brother might decide to come out one day soon". The next clue I had was 18 down: Late. Answer: Overdue. And then directly after that 23 across: Greatly. Answer: Very. Grrhh!! I can't stand the thought!

On the contrary I had regular crampy period-pain contractions that kept me up most of the night last night. Greg took the morning off to look after Anakin so I could go to another anti-natal appointment. Saw the midwife briefly. I'm still 63 kilo's - the same as 2 weeks ago. I guess Babyboy is sucking up all that butter I ate while hosting another of my morning teas for the girls yesterday. And all the dairy whip and maple syrup I eat on my pancakes on a regular bases. She didn't mention my blood pressure so I guess it was good. Then they sent me on to the doctor, news I met with a slight rolling of the eyes and a "I'm sure that's going to be really productive". Way to get everyone off side! He saw me for a total of about 2 minutes. I asked about my blood test results which he said were "all good". (Same very insightful report he gave me for my ultrasound scan.) I hopped up on to the examination table and instantly had a big BH tightening, giving my belly a angular warp, then he took a measurement of Bubby's head and told me it corresponded with a baby of 39 weeks and that he wouldn't be surprised if he came anyday now. That news would make me really hopeful, if I could actually trust the guy knew what he was talking about.

After my appointment I went and shouted myself some new bras, a maternity singlet and a new pair of jarmie pants - all heavily reduced I might add. Don't know why I'm such a die hard op-shopper at times?? It's so hard for me to track down a decent bra (in my opinion that means no underwire and no synthetic fabric, so... pretty limiting). But a couple days ago on the way up to Mum's to pick up some fruit, I'd warned Greg that I'd need to spent some money on new bras next time I was out, soon as I arrived Mum was like "I wanted to show you these." and pulled out these perfect cotton sports bra's! So she'd already done the sourcing and I new exactly where to go for them. We've been in tune like that lately.

Anakin won't let me out of his sight these days. He watched a tiny bit of The Grinch a week or so ago and it's totally messed with his mind. He won't go outside on his own, or even play in a different room of the house. We've tried so hard to undo the damage. We showed him pictures of Jim Carrey on the internet so he could see the dude that plays the character. Looked at other Dr Zeuss stories and explained him as the author of the book, the movie originated from. Explained to him that even if it was real, The Grinch is a Hoo and Hooville is a tiny speck on a clover on Mt Newl. Etc, etc. But now he's become paranoid about a whole plethora of other stuff. We take him to the toilet at night and he makes me check first that there's no giant guinea pigs popping their heads up at the window, then he worries he's going to fall in the loo with his poo! I tried to teach him to say "An irrational phobia" but it was a bit too much for him to wrap his tongue around.

Come on down!

2009-11-22T02:21:00.000-08:00

Spent the day out visiting my cloistered-rainforest-dwelling father, so as a result Greg's crashed out on the couch after too many home-brews and Anakin's fast asleep after a day in the bush. I should be getting an early night too. Last night was a shocker! Total insomnia set in once again, at least I've had a few really restful nights lately after claiming Anakin's bed all to myself - the best ever mattress in the world!

I had a moment of clarity last night and decided, at the risk I've really crushing my mum-in-laws feelings, all I actually want is to stay home leading up to this birth. Greg doesn't finish up work until my actual due date and I don't want to be away from him at all! I don't want to risk not being able to get hold of him at work when it could take him up to 2 - 3 hours to get up there anyway! He could quite possibly miss everything! I don't want to be without him in the afternoons, when my back is usually at it's worst and I need his help with Anakin. I don't want to have to pack up all the stuff Anakin and I are going to need for an extended stay, the Bubby's gear, hospital bags... The stupid staircases I'll need to climb 50 times a day with my even more stupid, pelvic joints... I can never sleep properly when I'm up there and that's enough of a problem here! I don't mind if I end up in the local hospital, it's just 15 minutes away and it's where I was born - can't be that bad! It's not like I'm high risk and need a bigger facility, I just chose Cairns Base because that's where Greg's family wants me to be! Plus I'd rather Baby's first car ride a short drive straight home! If Greg starts his holidays and I'm still preggas (please God, No!) then we can re-evaluate things from there. But otherwise the oldies can stay here with us or Nick has said they're welcome at her place. I just need Greg to break the news coz I'm too scared. (The bastard's like "Don't worry, I'll manufacture any lies you want me to"!! As if I don't feel bad enough!)

Up until a few weeks ago I was getting slightly hysterical whenever I thought about giving birth to another of Greg's huge boys. But now my perspective has shifted - this pregnancy is punishing, my body's debilitated (this f*cking computer chair doesn't help matters) and I cry myself to sleep feeling totally flogged out, all I'm going to be is full of elation when I finally hear that odd cracking sound as my waters break. I'm going to be singing-out Bring It On!! I want my baby safe and sound and I want my body back to normal!

Belly-belly

2009-11-21T04:00:00.001-08:00

These were taken a couple of weeks ago at my IL's.

This one was taken this arvie. One day I'm complaining I need hospitilization and a wheelchair the next I'm mowing the lawn - no wonder I don't get taken seriously.

At first a little TMI

2009-11-19T04:07:00.000-08:00

Well either I've been loosing my cervical plug the last few days or it's just coz I can't stop givin' it up to my man lately. 37 weeks pregnant, crippled, but still such a hornbag. I've never noticed a show in either of my other two pregnancies so I'm not too sure what to think. Either way I'm still not going to go too far from home without my maternity bags thrown into the back of the car just in case. Well that's once I've finished packing them of course. I've got all Baby's things ready to go - a big pocket full of tiny little nappies, the cutest little mix n match ensembles, wraps, microfibre washers... For me all I've packed so far is a big bunch of maternity pads >.< some paw-paw ointment and little spritzer with a mild mix of lavender oil and water for my girlie bits.

A few days into December my in-laws are planning on calling through to collect me and Anakin (abducting us) on their way home to Cairns from the opal mines, where we'll stay (maybe) until the big birthday!! If this one is anything like Anakin's late arrival, I'll go stir crazy and make a getaway home midway through my incarceration! Anyway, I anticipate a bit of down-time to shop around for some of the things I might need that I can't seem to pinpoint at the moment.

I finally got into action and ordered Anakin a booster seat, (a long deliberation). His Safe n Sound "Explorer" should be here any day now. It's a convertible booster seat that can be used with a harness belt from 8 to 26 kilo's A thread on Essential Baby (man, I hadn't logged onto that website for so long!) turned me onto a great site where it happened to be on sale so I ended up paying $300 + $25 for freight. And even though the little baby might be getting around in Anakin's dodgy old stroller (mmmm.... for now), at least they'll both be super-safe in the car.

Well Coconuts ended up being an excellent little holiday for us, but we ended up booking into a little cabin rather than taking the Tab. I made some enquires and it was only going to cost me around $50 extra for a cabin, which I would have spent on diesel anyway towing the caravan there and back! They quoted me this bargain (maybe even wrong?) price over the phone, which they had to honour and then when Greg came to join us, they told him at the reception it would be "no extra charge" so I was well happy with that arrangement. Nick and Chris were staying for the weekend in one of the Villas so all the cousins got to hang out. Izzy had his scooter to cruise about on and with all the brawling the boys did on the jumping balloons, I only got to see him when he came back to the cabin for a feed, and just before flopping into bed with exhaustion each night. I took so much fruit along - mangoes, watermelon, pineapples, lychees and banana's we were practically fruitarians the whole weekend. Save the big feed Rene and Tiff came to share with us and the big Macca's breakfast I can't seem to go without at least once whenever I'm up! Oh and the Domino's pizza on the way out of town... We swam and played mini golf and did cross-words, I even had a bit of a bounce on the jumping pillows myself!

More and more people are reacting with disbelief when I tell them I've still got three weeks to go. I must look like such a big belly! Their faces changing from shock to horror to pity. The little preppies at school keep looking at me with suspicious sideways glances, like that baby might just fall out at any given moment. I even give myself a shock when I catch a glimpse of my reflection side-on! It doesn't seem that dramatic from the top!!

It was my last day at work today - the kids are so keen on me bringing in the baby for a visit but they might be on school holidays by then. They like to pester me on the sex and if I've thought of a name yet. One of the boys gets really emotional about it, he gets big tears in his eyes and carries on "Oh! Miss! I just KNOW he's going to be SO CUTE!" (Same boy who doesn't want to discuss dressing up like jungle animals and cavemen for their end-of-year concert item - because he only wants to be a "princess wearing high-heels in a tower"! A beautiful Drama Queen he is.)

I wanna write more but it's getting way late. Maybe be back tomorrow.

Addressing the slackness

2009-11-10T02:19:00.000-08:00

Averaging 3 posts a month lately - totally slack alright. I'm sure a time will come when I just end up cutting and pasting my much more frequent status updates from Facebook to fulfil my need to communicate with the world and keep my blog alive.

Wow I can't believe the ticker is down to twenty-something days oh-my! I finally got myself back to anti-natal this morning after 16 weeks of non-attendance. I saw two midwives at once and they were surprisingly thorough. The first thing one of them told me was "We have to give you a needle today". I replied "No. I don't do that." She went from asking me "Are you joking?" and looking at me like I was a complete lunatic, to telling me it was completely my choice once I explained that (correct me if I'm wrong) I didn't see any reason behind giving routine Anti D injections when it's effectiveness for mopping up antigens is within a 72 hour window of an actual bleed, which I hadn't had.

I did a depression screen test. I think I scored 4 out of a total, maybe, 100 possible points. I had to give myself a couple of points for "irrational fear" - I couldn't stop thinking about this young girl who died in a car accident about 6 months ago - she was on her way to anti natal and only had a few weeks before she was due with her first baby. Greg works with her boyfriend. Today I had to drive past the same intersection her and her baby were killed, in bad driving weather, as many weeks pregnant as she was. I was obsessing about which car to take, and praying all morning I got home safely to my kids. Anakin just loves his Mummy so much at the moment, I don't know what he'd do without me. But anyway here I am, all good.

One of the midwives had a feel around and Little Boy's head isn't engaged yet. (In fact he's riding up high under my rib cage, I think they're going to be permanently bent out of shape!) She estimates him to be about 5 and a half pound atm. And predicts him to be somewhere between 7 and 8 pound at full term. We'll see. I reckon he'll be 8 plus the rest!

I'm taking the plunge and towing the caravan with the two boys to Coconuts on my own this weekend! The thing is I've had no practice at reversing the van and suspect I'm gunna totally suck at it no matter how much practice I get anyway! I'm going to have to think ahead at all times and make sure not to park anywhere tricky along the way. Luckily it's such a light little van that when we do actually make it to our camping spot we'll be able to unhook it and pull it into position manually. It'll be a bit of a test for me, but it'll give me more confidence to do it more often. Probably rain on us all weekend, but who cares?! I love the rain. We'll just stay in our togs!

We are really looking forward to Anakin's Playgroup breakup at the swimming pool at the end of the month. I bought him some Christmas coloured boardies to wear today and a plain red T-shirt that we are going to decorate tomorrow at Playgroup. He is SO excited about getting a new book from Santa, who'll be coming along on the firetruck. I told him how Santa called me on his kitchen phone and asked me what sort of book he'd like so Mummy knows he's going to love it!! (A pop-out book chock FULL of dragons!)

Gotta go, Bub's woken up.

What Kisses did.

2009-10-19T15:18:00.000-07:00

We took the T@B away on the weekend! I don't suppose you can actually classify it as "camping" when you book into Cairns Coconut Village and there's an abundance of conveniences on hand and Macca's a kilometre up the road for breakfast! The Cook Island and Samoan football team were staying there as well, so there were lots of well defined, smooth, tanned and tattooed bods to admire while lounging around the pool - lucky Anakin had his floaties on with my wandering attention! JOKES!

Actually getting away was so much effort for my poor body. I'd worked Thursday and Friday too (waking up at 3:30 for a wee and not getting back to sleep again is not the greatest way to start a working day). Friday arve after picking up Anakin from Nick's I came home to pack and organise the caravan, after over 2 hours of that my back was totally Fu-barred. I curled up in bed in the faetal position whimpering. It sucks being lame.

I got to go op-shopping Saturday morning and then Izzy (who was in Cairns with his dad) came to hang out with us once we had the camp set up. (Our latest conversations together are like a competition on who can say "corporate sellout" the most in one sentence.) We swam in all the pools and played basketball (well they did) and the boys rode around on their scooters. We ate watermelon and I even had the fine china packed for when Tiff came around for a cuppa.

Saturday night Anakin fell asleep on the way to a friends 30th, themed, "80's Glam Rock". The birthday boy "Hairy-Dan"* had downloaded a huge collection of filmclips from the era - all the stuff we use to play at high school socials, and everyone was dressed up Poison-Whitesnake-Guns-n-Roses style, it was deadly. He lives in a beautiful "boogie nights" style house way on top of a hill with the best views in Cairns. Anakin stayed asleep for a couple of hours but woke up when a drunken, rowdy "Happy Birthday" was sung. We left Greg and his mates to their revelry after that and we took the truck back to the caravan park where I spent the rest of the night half awake waiting for his return (at a very eventual 4am!)

* It's funny. Some of our friends have special names we use so the boys know who we're talking about. We'll be like "Blah blah blah Trent blah blah blah". And they'll go "WHO??" And we'll be "You know. Shaved-down-monkey." And they'll go "OH Yeah." The kids have got new nicknames in the last year of so. Izzy is know as "Squidly" or "Squidy". I rang him when he was suppose to be at the Youth Club one afternoon and he was swimming in the Banyan Creek instead, one of his mates answered the phone with "SQUIDY'S IN THE WATER!!" Now when he's in the shower I creep up to the back louvers and sing out "SQUIDY'S IN THE WATER!" Jack's known to family as "Skinhead" or "Skinned Pig" (very foundly I might add.) And Charlie likes to be know as "Charred Piglet". For reasons unknown. Maybe because we call him Char for short and he is the Skinned Pig's little brother...

One of the pools at the caravan park has a big novelty whale with water squirting from it's spout and a kiddies slide going through the middle. Anakin kept climbing inside and saying "Mum, watch me! I'm in the whales gulp!" Ha ha. He mistakingly says "Gulp" instead of "Gob". Makes more sense anyway... He often makes up his own meanings for words or sayings. Today he was telling me "Do you know what Chop-chop means? It means: Let's fight." I said "No. It means: Hurry up; Get moving." I know he'll stick with his own definition.

We had Izzy home with us for three days last week. He needed time off school and we nursed him back to health (with chopped-up pineapple, watermelon, french-toast and all his favourite dinners) after picking up a cold. (Well, the Swine Flu, according to him. I'm sure if he could think up a worse case scenario he would!) It was Anakin's turn this week and my sister and all her family. I'm amazed I haven't gone down with it - with Anakin's fixation on licking my face and the amount of big-slobby kisses he insists on giving me all the time. I try to tell him Daddy's the only one that's allowed to give me big wet kisses and that he can give his girlfriend toungies when he's old enough to have one. He reckons "You're going to be my girlfriend Mum!" No, but I'll ALWAYS be your Mumma.

Should be lesson planning..

2009-10-12T15:39:00.000-07:00

Well I suppose the one good thing about limping around on a permanantly cramped calf musle all day is that it takes some of my brain's focus off the excruciating back and hips and pelvis! Geez, now I well and truly identify with the way they portray pregnant women on tele waddling around, easing themselves awkwardly into chairs .... You should see me getting around! I look like a car wreck. I remind myself of Nana swaying to and fro on her little bowed legs. I think I need some magnesium in a big way, I get cramps in my toes, calves, hips and intercostal muscles. I hurriedly reach down to try and ease one cramp in the middle of the night and end up giving myself another one somewhere else! It's bloody ridiculous! Greg's been very generous with his massages, the sweetheart.

I'm going to do two days a week at school for a few weeks so I can finish up about a month early. Greg's parents should be back in the North by then too, I'm sure they'd love to look after me a bit.

Anakin is so keen for his "Little Brother". He's such a sweet boy. He was just waking up yesterday morning and we were all snuggled up in bed. He had his legs draped over my big fat belly and all of a sudden he sat up with this look of absolute wonder on his face. He could feel the baby's hiccups and he was transfixed. Last night he had a real good giggle before bedtime feeling the Bubby's little heel/toes jutting right out and sliding backwards and forwards just under the surface. I wish I had that particular laugh recorded on my phone as a ring tone - that'd be so cool. He's always cuddling my belly and cooing "You are SO beautiful Baby." He gives a nudge when he can't feel any action and says "Wakey, wakey Little Brother."

I had the ladies back for hot date scones, shortbreads and tea yesterday morning. It was much more relaxed with the big kids in school and just the littlies here. The marchies have eased right off now, so we were able to hang around out under the shade of the caravan annex too.

I've modified and redrawn the floor plans for the virtual house on the block a few more times lately. We actually managed to talk through a few issues without arguing last night!

Silence is Golden.

2009-10-02T14:42:00.000-07:00

A couple weekends ago when I was flicking through the real estate guide I came across a photo of the inside of a house that looked really familiar. I quickly worked it out to be the house in Edge Hill where I went to a "Heaven and Hell" themed Halloween party 9 years ago, the party where I met Greg!! The picture even showed the "leafy indoor atrium" that our very first conversation revolved around! That is wild! Here it is:

It's an urgent liquidation sale. Imagine how romantic it'd be if Greg and I ended up purchasing the very house we first laid eyes on each other. I keep day dreaming about it!

Anakin is having his third sleep over at Mum's. Greg and I actually got the bed all to ourselves ALL night. Woot woot! Of course we made the most of that situation ;) Pity another calf cramp jolted me awake at 6o'clock and I didn't get to sleep in.. the joys of pregnancy.

I must of had about 50 braxton hicks contractions when I was shopping in Cairns on Thursday. It's so bloody exhausting. I have them every time I bend over! And sometimes I wake up with sore abs when they've persisted all through the night! I'm going to love my uterus being a normal size again! How can it stretch so much anyway? What is it latex?

The boys where sitting on the couch the other day and I overheard Anakin saying to Izzy "I smell something burning." Izzy goes "Yeah, I smell something burning too." And I'm like "Well if you can both smell something burning I better go check around." Then Izzy's sniffed a bit harder and gone "Oh Poh! Anakin! That stinks!" Ha ha ha. Anakin was just testing out one of his Dad's fart jokes. Greg was really proud too.

On marriage - Greg and I have picked a date next year - our relationships 10th anniversary. (I might have already said?) But whether or not it's just a registry office jobby is yet to be seen. Everytime I log into those wedding planning websites it just spins me out and scares me off. The thing is we can't really afford a huge wedding but when we think of all the people we'd love to celebrate with us - it adds up to about 100! I'd like a big party where everyone gets to dress up as a bride or groom. That'd be fun.

Anyway I better go do something else with my alone-time. I'm going to try to avoid everything I should be doing and focus on what I want to do... just after I hang up the washing..

30 down, 10 to go!

2009-09-29T18:15:00.001-07:00

Anakin and Izzy are up at the shed doing some "weights" - the house is peaceful and quiet for a change but I can see this lasting for all of about 2 minutes. Yep - they're back. I have the T@B set up outside, with the annex and a big woven camping mat and all this comfy outdoor furniture - all the duplo is out there for Anakin to play with but the marchflies have just become CHRONIC all of a sudden and it's a ridiculous exercise in torture being out there for any length of time. Anakin has the bad habit of scratching too much and making his bites flare up so I LOATH him getting bitten even once. Usually I'm encouraging them to go out, nowadays I'm like "Quick!! Get back inside!" But the two of them together inside is a recipe for instant rowdiness. They chase each other up and down the hall screaming, wrestle on every bed and mattress in the house. ATM Anakin is imitating a peacock with a peacock feather on his head - have you ever heard a peacock call? They're f#>kn ear piercing. But that's my fault - I taught him that one.

I've been struggling to manage my Symphysis Pubis Disorder - if that's what it even is (Whoops -better uncross my legs..) I had a morning tea on Monday, a heap of ladies came over for cuppas and pastries etc except being school holidays the kids here outnumbered us about 3 to 1.

(Izzy's having a tantrum because Anakin keeps licking him - I'm getting up him for overreacting and he's trying to tell me that I'm the one who overreacts about everything.. now Anakin's stepped on his iPod - Izzy stormed off to get away from everybody and Anakin is blasting the recorder right at my side..)

Plus another school mum came with her "Learning Ladder Books" display. So I found myself flat-out all morning and up and down the whole time everyone was here. (A snapshot would have found at any one time something along these lines - toddlers tipping fish food all over Anakins room, siblings in the lounge room fighting over lego blocks, a kid ringing the dinner bell in everyones earholes, Anakin brawling with babies to try and get them to keep the door shut... you get the picture.) I hope it was relaxing for everyone else coz I didn't even get a chance for a cup of tea! (Actually considering the amount of racing around I did to keep the teapots hot and sorting out everyone elses kids, I'm pretty sure it was!) Monday night my lower back and pelvis and the tops of my legs were that sore I cried myself to sleep. It was horrible! Yesterday I tried to take it easier. Today I'm pottering around getting some housework done but not about to overdo it again that's for sure - I suffer.

The baby belly is doing okay. I'm 30 weeks today and measuring 97cm's round. He gets the hiccups everyday and it makes him run amok. Sometimes he goes bizerk for ages (usually while I'm relaxing in front of the footy) and I worry that he's having a fit in there. He hangs out on the right side, leaving the left quite empty, it's pretty uncomfortable and I try to push him over and get him a bit more centred, doesn't work. I sleep with about 4 pillows propping me up every-which-where, the hardest thing is clamouring over everyone to get out for a wee. I usually end up in Anakins queen bed for a few hours sleep on my own. His is the comfiest bed in the house anyway. I can just see me and Greg are going to end up in separate beds with one little boy each. When I'm having my early morning stretch I always need to remember to pull my feet up and NOT down - otherwise I end up with horrific calf cramps that leave behind bruises and really snap me wide awake, that's been a painful lesson to learn

(The boys are drawing quietly behind me - an absolute miracle!)

I've been sorting through 4 years worth of digital photos, making up folders for printing so have been looking at all Anakin's baby photo's again. Man, he was just the cutest little mugwai. I can't wait to have another one of these:

Izz had an awesome time on his ski-trip and came back safely in one piece. Thank the Lord. He loved snowboarding and his Dad reckoned he was a real natural at it too. He is getting so tall and has the thickest bones! He's never going to break an arm or leg that boy, he's got concrete bones! Even though I packed him all the necessary toiletries, in appealing little mini travel sizes he came back with the GREASIEST hair! I sent him into the shower and he washed it three times to even be able to get a lather! So much for what I thought was an increased interest in personal hygiene!

The holidays have been good. We had a family BBQ out at Dad's last week coz I had my uncle and cousin up from Brissie. We love going out to there, tramping through the bush and getting all down to our roots. My brother has a place out there too (kindly donated by Mum) and has just started renting it out to a guy about my age who has a son who's six months older than Anakin. He came up to introduce himself and the two little boys hit it off really nicely. It was so cool. Anakin still thinks of Reuben as his best friend and Reuben moved away like seven months ago :( He needs a good little buddy. Speaking of "Buddy" that's the last boy's name Mum came up with for me. No thanks. He's got a name! Unless he actually turns out to be a girl..!

Had another beautiful day at the "mushroom pools" too. Anakin was frantically working his way from one of the four pools to another. NON-STOP! Luckily I had a couple of extra sets of eyes and hands to relieve me so I could actually stop and drink my flasked tea. (Me and green tea are back on with a vengeance!) And luckily one of the four pools was heated otherwise he would have been hypothermic - not an inch of baby fat covering that little boy's body. Takes after his dad!

Greg's been working overtime while he can - the cane crushing season is set to be a real short one this year and we've had two lots of rates, power bill, rego - heaps of stuff to pay for lately, so he's been working hard and is only home on Sundays :( I can't wait for it to end - I'd rather be broke with him at home!

I went for a cuppa at a friends house yesterday and during one of our conversations she called me a CONFORMIST!! I had to ring her back later to straighten it out. Surely she was looking for "conventional" or "conservative", both of which I know myself to be in particular areas but CONFORMIST!!?? C'MON!

Update on the 3 Little Piggies.

2009-09-13T15:38:00.001-07:00

Izzy's heading to Perisher Valley for some snowboarding with his Dad on Wednesday - so I won't be seeing him on his 13th birthday :( He's just spent the last 5 nights here (he's become addicted to Facebook and his Dad has no internet) It was a nice, incident free stay, thank the Lord! No tears or tantrums from anyone! Although he did blame me for "killing his buzz" a few times when lecturing him about, eating healthily for longevity. Actually I was pleasantly surprised he took my suggestion this morning and ate a big bowl of Just Right instead of Crispix before school this morning. And snacked on strawberries and nashi pears all weekend. (In between glasses of milo I must say.) I don't think he ate even one packet of Mi-Goreng noodles the whole time he was here!!

I measured him on the wall and he has grown 10cm's in under a year! He is a whole 5cm's taller than me now. He's actually cleansing his face, washing his hair and brushing his teeth these days - makes me think there might be some interest in girls starting to spark.. I know he's good mates with a few but if their interested in him is anything but, he's still describing it as "an unfortunate turn of events", or, "sad, but true".

I'm hoping he comes over for his favourite dinner the night before he leaves, so I can make him a birthday cake too. I ordered him the 5th generation iPod for his birthday, he picked out a green one with the inscription "If you can read this you're too close to my iPod." I thought "I rock therefore I am" suited him better, but he didn't get the cross reference. It got shipped today so with any luck it'll be here on time for him to download some songs onto it and take it away with him. He's right into this heavy metal band In Flames and I seriously need to get some footage of his headbanging prowess. He belongs on stage.

Anakin's growing up right before our eyes! Last weekend we took him for a walk up the creek out at Dad's place and he just went totally berserk with joy. It was SO difficult making him understand how dangerous it was! He just desperately wanted to run helter skelter across every slippery rock surface, slide head first into every rock pool, slip down every rapid... I couldn't let go of his hand, it was CRAZY. It was him and 4 adults (mind you I was the only responsible sober one) and he still managed to go underwater a couple of time. He was just SO EXCITED and FULL ON! I kept having to remind him "Bubby! You can't swim!!!!" Greg slipped over on the rocks a few times but thankfully Anakin came away shivering with cold, but otherwise unscathed.

He loves the library and he loves playgroup at the moment. He likes engaging any one he can in a conversation and last week was going around telling all the mums "My Brussy went on Speed did you know?" It sounded terrible and I kept having to explain "he means the ride "Speed", at the Show.." Shame. For ages he's been totally absorbed by comic book Superheroes, all day he's raving on about Sandman and Juggernaut, Green Goblin, Wolverine, Cyclops...

He's developed his first phobia too - he HATE HATE HATES being left buckled in the car, if I have to race back inside for my sunnies or jump out to pay for some fruit on the side of the road he totally freaks and sobs these huge tears rolling down his poor little eyes. The first couple of times I told him he was just being silly, but he can't even stand me closing his door and then walking around the car to get in my side!! Plus one late afternoon a couple weeks ago he was sitting in the boot of the car reading some books while I emptied the scrap bucket and picked some carambolas just nearby. The phone rang so I raced inside for it and spent about half a minute talking - by the time I got back outside he'd closed himself in the boot and was screaming out for me and banging hard on lid. It was SO terrible! He'd peed his pants and was trembling with fear when I got him out but recovered really quickly and reassured me he was only in there for a little tiny while (even the total amount of time he was trapped like that could have only been 30 seconds or so - I was worried it would've felt like an eternity to him!) I asked him if he felt squashed or if he was scared because it was dark in there, or stuffy, but he reckons he was worried that monsters were going to get him. I'm wondering if knowing that he can't get out of the buckles in his carseat reminds of being trapped in the boot. Poor kid, I'll make sure nothing like that ever happens again!! At the moment he's plucking away at this little coconut instrument we've got singing me "Billy Jean's not my Love, she's a just a girl, who says that I am the one.."

The littlest brother in the family feels so humongous inside me already. But is still managing to do full somersaults - so painful! Actually I don't really know what he's doing in there but my God, sometimes I have the hardest ridges sticking right out - I think maybe his butt and back. At night I wake up so painfully tight and bulging out in really odd shapes. My belly is square like a box from side on - just like it was with Anakin! I've had someone comment "you can't have too long"!!! Weve only just reached the third trimester!!

Anyway I better go - this chair is killing my back and the floor's not going to vacc itself, unfortunately...

Tagged.

2009-09-01T21:04:00.000-07:00

What is your current obsession? My fringe.

What are you wearing today? I bone coloured rayon tunic pleated in the centre of the neckline so as there's lots of room down below for the expanding tum. With espresso coloured Seafolly drawstring pants.

What's for dinner? Raw beans, carrot, snow peas, sugar snaps, red capo, broccoli, cauliflower, corn off the cob, cabbage, celery, parsley, sunflower and sesame seeds and whole egg mayo. (Coleslaw! - That took me an eternity to cut up.) With something - I dunno what??

What's the last thing you bought? Fruit and veges at Woolies.

What are you listening to right now? The budgies. And Horton on tele "It is clear you are no match for my technique. I see you have not mastered the ways of the snapping branch. I will make monkeys of these monkeys!"

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour where would you go? With Vanilla, where she's going.

Which language do you want to learn? AUSLAN

What do you love the most about where you currently live? Great big yard. One neighbour and I can't even see their place. Peaceful and quiet.

What is your favourite colour? Purple. Lilac is nice.

What is your favourite peace of clothing in your own wardrobe? The seafolly pants I'm wearing I will live in until they become rags.

Describe your personal style? Dress like a pirate day. Everyday.

If you had $300 what would you spend it on? A convertible booster seat for Anakin, ('cept I might need a bit extra).

What are you doing after this? Finishing Anakin's drawing with him, making some phone calls for Greg and getting the sheets off the line.

What are your favourite films? The Man in the Iron Mask, Boogie Nights, The Beach, Blood Diamonds, The Wedding Singer, Anchor Man..

Do you collect anything? Baby teeth.

What makes you follow a blog? Relatability. (That's not even a word is it?? But you know what I mean)

Do you like to comment on blogs or just lurk? When I write a comment I always seem to be talking about myself anyway, so I figure it really belongs on my blog.

What's one thing you dream of doing? Building.

What is your biggest regret? Failing to finish a librarian traineeship because I was too preoccupied falling for the sweet talk of doomed love.

What is your favourite thing to do on a rainy day. Swim. Read and snuggle.

Do you have a tattoo? One in memory of a beautiful friend. A peacock feather on my foot would be nice.

What are your favourite books? The one I'm reading at the moment is INCREDIBLE! You're probably sick of seeing it over toward the side there but it's like 0ver 700 pages and it's taking me a while. I love books about interesting characters in realistic predicaments. True to life stuff like, Tattoo, Things Without a Name, Featherstone, War Boy, Candy ...

Describe your ideal holiday? Something that doesn't involve food preparation or cleaning up!! Lazy, lazy, lazy days. Staying somewhere obscenely luxurious. Reading, swimming, sunbathing, shopping, exploring, eating out, dressing up, undressing..

Consuming kids.

2009-08-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

I'm suppose to be at an anti-natal check up right now. I'm wagging. It was such a farcical last time I couldn't be bothered.

Plus me and Bubby took the new truck (Woot! Woot!) to Innisfail yesterday to visit Granddad. Before stopping at Brumbies to pick up some bruffins to take, I made a drive past the bench seat my Great Uncle Dick hangs out at, sure enough there they were - And Granddad was there too, with his neighbour Dutchie. Uncle Dick's posse of home boyz has grown! So me and Bubby joined the oldies for a yarn before going up to the house for a cuppa.

We were on a mission to buy Izzy some new clothes and boxers. I have to shop in the mens section for him now! Spent a small fortune too. I bought him 3 pairs of shorts from Jay-Jays, a couple T-shirts and a pair of shorts from Target and 6 pairs of boxers from K-Mart - nothing much was on spesh either. And for Anakin a Walt Disney lipgloss set he couldn't live without.

Issy and Jack worked on Rowan's farm on the weekend, unblocking sprinklers in the lychee paddock. They made a hundred and ten bucks each. Their first serious paid work!

Him and Greg had a big shitfight the moment I picked him up. So I drove him all the way home to his Dad's to get them out of each others faces, and cried all the way home because I was looking forward to seeing him and then all night long at our screwed up situation. Izzy and Greg have always struggled to get along, they just don't relate. Izzy's a smart aleck teen at the moment and has always been real emotional and sensitive. Greg's always scrutinising everything he says and does and doesn't know how or when to exercise his rational adult brain. I feel like I get on his case enough without anyone else doing it and wish Greg could just be this neutral, calming, influence. Anyway this is depressing, isn't it? God.

The little berry belly-dweller is getting heaps bigger and stronger! I feel massive! Yesterday he gave me such a swift kick to the bladder I nearly peed myself at the checkout. Anakin loves to feel his little brother in there and fights his dad off for the best vantage point. He tells everybody "Andre's in there!"

Feast of Friends

2009-08-23T22:08:00.000-07:00

Oh my God I'm in baby clothes heaven. I was given a TONNE on the weekend and I've just finished thinning them out a bit, clipping up all the hundreds of press studs, washing them and hanging them on the line! Actually I ran out of pegs there's that many! But how adorable are they flapping on the line? So, so cute! I can't stand some colours on my kids, so all the bright oranges and reds and blues get set aside for someone else. I never make use of denim on babies and things with buckles or chunky zips, or anything too dressy, so that all goes in the pass-along pile too. That was one of the more fun jobs I've had for ages!

Me and Greg were kept busy last week getting the place ready for his birthday party on Saturday night. It was excellent. Catching up with our good mates for a weekend of fun was just what we needed. We kept the fire going ALL night. We had a great barbie and beautiful salads for dinner. Greg had prepared about 40L of rum and coke on tap that got finished! And a keg of home brew on tap as well. I rationed myself one corona. That went down good. Hope the little foetus didn't mind too much.

I might of squeezed in an hour or two of sleep before hopping up again to do the breakfast shift. All the fellas had bacon and sausages and eggs on the barbie, but for the girls I made a big fruit salad to eat on pancakes with brown sugar and cream. YUM! Our friends from Cairns brought down their jet ski so after brekky we all headed down the beach. Even the preggy chicks had a turn! That might of been a bit more irresponsible than the beer :/ After others insisted on seeing my big round belly exposed in the sunshine, I've been paying for it today. My clothes on it are hurting, it looks like a shiny red tomato, and I've spent half the day rubbing in after-sun-gel and moisturizer and spritzing it with toner! Crap!

After jet skiing the last of us came home to try and make more of a dent in the left-overs! Once the last carload left we had to admit it was all over rover. Thankfully Greg let me sleep for a few hours, I suppose I'll be repaying the favour when he comes home from work in a few minutes.

The schools annual fund raiser was on Saturday too, so as well as jet skiing Anakin got to slug teachers with wet sponges, ride on ponies, do gymnastics and jumping castles, eat banana splits and ride on the mini fire truck!!

I better be quick, Izzy's just got home, (his greeting was to flick me on the sunburn, grr!) he's coming out to dinner with us tonight. I took him to his subject selection seminar on Wednesday night with his cousin. Looks like he wants to do Info' Tech', YAA - which is like a business studies subject where the kids get to design, create and market a product, liquidate their company at the end and stuff - sounds real good, and some other subject I can't remember the name of but is just fancy for "Metal Work". It was nice to be with Izzy on his own, coz when he's here with Anakin it's all screaming, wrestling and baiting one another. Which is what I'm listening to right now. Gotta go sort it out.

Boy trouble

2009-08-10T22:25:00.000-07:00

Greg's birthday's coming up in a couple of weeks. And how's this? His parents are giving him their PATROL!!! OMG!! We'll be able to tow the t@banacle around with IT anywhere!! We've been a one car family since I sold my little white Festiva to Izzy's dad, so having an almost new 4WD will be incredible! Not that I'll be the one driving it. I won't be game! I've put too many little scrapes and dings in Greg's Magna since I started driving it! It's over 10 years old and I get into enough trouble over them! Greg's always rousing on me for parking to close to things, it's more like people park too close to me and then I can't get out again without getting caught up on their bull bars! .... There was that wheely bin I wiped out around the corner, the other day, the sidemirror isn't much chop now...

Anakin is in the habit of throwing himself prostrate on the floor whenever he is itchy and demanding "Rub! Rub! Scratch me!!" He doesn't even come and find us, he just lies down on the spot wherever he is when he decides he's itchy. He's a funny little thing. The other night I was putting him to bed when he goes "Mum, can you bite my toenails off so I can eat them?" He's a full little grot at the moment - wants to pee on things and has this obsession with drinking his wee like Bear Grills has to in extreme survival moments. We got sick of him whinging about it and let him. He dry wretched about half a dozen times while we stood around laughing at him. He hides behind the curtains to eat play-doh and lies down on his messes to cover them up and says "Don't look at me!" Of course he's an absolute little angel as well - real brainy and full of personality, most other little kids seem like non-entities in comparison. Also very insistent and high demand! A lot like Izzy when he was little but without the whole "head case" component (which he still has!) and Izzy wasn't the adventurous kind like Anakin either.

I've totally ripped it up Izzy a few times lately. He expects me to treat him like a little bloody prince and never wants to make an effort to contribute when he's here. He loves laying guilt trips on me and tries to make me feel like shit about stuff that's already over and done with or things that haven't even happened yet. He never puts his Dad through the wringer like he does with me and yet I'm the one who's looked after him every day of his life the last 12 years, made sacrifices and invested so much of my emotion into him - and his old man was AWOL for 10 years or so doing absolutely God know what (NOT putting himself in a better position to support his son I know that much, or paying maintenance for that matter). Man, it pisses me right off it's so totally unjustified and mean. I end up screaming at him so the neighbours can hear me, which isn't any better. I have to keep my reactions to him constantly in check coz he just rubs me up the wrong way so much. We can be good company for each other but on a whole I hope things get a whole lot easier with our relationship. Talk about volatile.

The shit that shits me.

2009-08-05T02:40:00.000-07:00

Anti-natal was a complete waste of time yesterday. Besides the fact that I was kept waiting an hour, after striding into the doctors office and sitting down, he goes "So you're due next week." Umm, no did you even look at me as I walked in?? "Oh hang on I'm looking at your file from 2006.. So you're due in February!" Try again mate, maybe third time lucky. I told him I had bad lower back pain, and I felt like my fanny needed physiotherapy and some days I have real difficulty standing on one foot to get my leg in my pants and that I think I'm suffering with some degree of SPD. His response was "What's SPD?" No word of advice. I told him I was suffering with my teeth and thought I had an abscess. No word of advice. Even though it seems to be general knowledge that gum disease can cause premature labour. I told him I'd had a scan 2 weeks prior and was hoping to discuss the results. He flicked back a page and said "Oh yeah, it's all good.." I said "I thought I might have access to a CD or some film I could take home.." He goes "I wouldn't know about that.." He gave me a quick scan on his ultra sound machine which was cool and when I commented that I'd love to take it home with me, he goes "Why?" Err coz I like to collect medical machinery, why do you fucking reckon you clown?? He didn't ask me about ANYTHING!! Surely there's some standard questions you ask a pregnant lady the first time you see her as a doctor - about bloody diet or comfort or blood group or SOMETHING! I could of done a vastly better job sitting there pretending I was a doctor!!

People have been getting to me lately though. Last Friday I wanted to get cash out at the servo and I told her as much and she goes "oh it's too late, it's already gone through". (This is BEFORE I'd even swiped my card or put my pin in or anything!) Because she wasn't competent enough to backtrack through the motions and start the process on the computer slash register again, she made out like it was totally impossible coz she didn't like the look of me (just like one of my uni lecturers who used to chase me out of class especially to tell me I had an attitude problem.) It just made me instantly irate. I glared her down and said "Well that sucks". (Aren't I mature?) Just like when the council librararian tried to make me feel guilty about the freight costs involved in shuttling books backwards and forwards between libraries when I wanted to reorder a book they'd already sent back when I couldn't collect it in time. Like she was forking out for it personally - Err, lady. Are you trippin'? That's the service this facility provides to the public. As a member of the library that's just what you're spose to do for me. Don't take it personal like.

And then there's this idiot up the road who came around one day with his wife beater stretched around his huge beer gut and his little rugger shorts coz he heard along the grape vine he could get some movies off Greg. Never even met the guy before. He drops in here all the time and without fail goes to me "The big fella asleep?" (who's asleep at like 10:30 in the morning?) and then I say "Greg's at work. He doesn't get home til about 4o'clock". And then he tells me about his technical difficulties and I tell him that I'll pass the message along and Greg might be able to help him out later. And then a couple days later he comes over again "Is the big fella asleep?" "NO! He WORKS during the DAY!" No joke we've had this conversation about 5 times now. God he shits me. Is he suffering from Gulf War Syndrome, is he trying to catch me in the nude or something or could he really be that dumb. Greg, coz he's a good guy, unlike me, goes up and helps him with his technical issues, this usually just involves pushing the title button on his remote, so maybe he is just that dumb. I just can't see myself rocking up on someone out of the blue hitting them up for favours, when you've actually got no shared past whatsoever and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON. He comes now to drink a beer with Greg (less than half his age) and invites ME to sit down with them coz he's about to share his story of travelling to Indonesia. You can't invite someone to sit down when they're actually in their own home can you??? I was just like "I'm cookin' tea". Oh man some people just shit me! That's my vent, where's yours?

2009-07-31T02:46:00.000-07:00

This weekend just gone was another beauty. We had a show holiday on Friday and took the kids on Friday night. Anakin did a few more rides this year and Izz rode SPEED (Just before him and his cousin got on they stopped the ride and did maintenance on it! OMG! I was like "Bail out guys!")

We checked out the pavilion and some of my kids Science books were on display. I was very proud of myself because each page they'd opened them on, all the work was marked and commented on with gold stars and stickers. (It's really hard to find the time to look at all their work all the time so that was a bit of a fluke!) There was a slideshow of the class doing all different activities around the school as well and I couldn't help gushing to Greg, "Look! That's so-n-so!" and "oh look how gorgeous they are!" (They're extra cute when they're not actually in your face. No, that's not true. They're always beautiful kids.) We ate fresh cream waffles and Rotary curry chicken for dinner under the grandstand. The little lambikins and jersey calf at the petting zoo were so sweet, Anakin went through a few dollars worth of feed there!

We rode the ferris wheel and bought flashing light sabers and bubble guns and fairy floss. Izzy finally succumbed to the fashion trend of a flat broad brimmed hat. Man I've been trying to put him off buying one of those for ages. They're the ugliest looking dopiest things to wear on your head, I swear. And another time when I wasn't looking he went searching for a ying-yang pendant, except he could only find one with a couple of gunja leaves on it, so he bought it anyway! I tolerated it for a few days but made him take it off yesterday! Oh God! I hope he has more sense then that!! I've been trying to find him something nice as a replacement and then I can get rid of it all together! We stayed for the fireworks and then drove up to Cairns for the rest of the weekend.

Saturday morning I had my half price day at the op-shop (frequent shopper rewards. You should ask about that Vanilla ;). I took Izzy to the podiatrist (he's got no spring in his feet and runs along like his legs are made of concrete) and then dropped him off to his Dad who was staying at his sister's place and recovering from a gig in Port Douglas. Hung out with Tiff in the arve and then she took us home and cooked us spag-bol from Master Chef. It was pretty good too.

Greg spent the afternoon getting blind with his brother (who, after dumping my sister admits to having spend the month since, pissed or asleep! Idiot.) at various seedy locations. And managed to walk home at about 9.30pm after getting into a drunken brawl which eventually sent the venue into lockdown mode. I don't think they'll be going back there in a hurry. And that's what Greg was doing as I was having a genteel tea and talking wedding plans. Ugh!

Sunday, we got to take Bubby on the skyrail up to Kuranda with a couple of mates of ours we were in desperate need of a catch up with. Spent a few hours up there pottering around the markets and lollyshops and stuff and then took the Scenic Rail back again. I loved it! So did Anakin :). Can't wait to do it again!

There was some highlights in amongst our excellent weekends too. Playgroup is always one of them. Been meeting some lovely Mums there and Anakin is enjoying himself more and more. And Greg's been playing awesome basketball every week.

And last Tuesday (after getting put off for another week) I had my first anti natal appointment. I inquired as to whether they could squeeze me in down in the XRay department after I was done, and they could!! So I was busy trying to scull down enough water in time after just totally emptying myself for a wee test! My bladder was still completely empty once I got there (my stomach was pretty full though!) but gradually started to fill up the longer I lay there. I'd asked Greg if I was allowed to find out the sex the previous afternoon, if by chance they could fit me in, he thought about it for a bit and then said "Yeah, okay, if I get some tonight." (I looked at him unbelieving, thinking after all this rigmarole is THAT all it takes!!) And then he goes "AND tomorrow night!" I suppressed my urge to point out to him that he gets it all the bloody time anyway so that was a pretty senseless bargain and shouted "DONE!!" instead and raced away to hide so he couldn't change his mind! Anyway it all went really well, I think, he didn't really say too much. I dunno about the machinery they use in that place though, I think it's a bit out dated and the images I was seeing weren't as clear as I'd hoped. I'm hanging out for next Tuesday when I can talk to the doctor about it all and hopefully get some film or a CD. The bloke doing it was a trainee and when it came time to find out if Berry has girl or boy bits he took a painfully long time and then says "I'm sorry, I can't actually see what your baby is today.." I swallowed down the disappointment and said bravely "Oh. That's okay.." but we were both still searching the screen when out of all the graininess came the most obvious little set of bollies and a little dicky coming out between. I was like "OH LOOK!!" and he said "Oh, hang on, here we go, it looks like a boy.. blah blah blah, we can't say 100% because sometimes it can be a swollen vagina etc. Then he got his supervisor in to confirm that he had all the images needed etc. So the older bloke sat down for another good look around while I couldn't stop grinning at the thought of another little boy to add to my bunch. I asked him to have another look between the legs for me, which he did and agreed that there seemed to be a definite penis there and that he would be extremely surprised if it turned out otherwise . Hee hee hee!! I can't wait to meet him!!!

Birthday boy

2009-07-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

Had a lovely couple of weekends again. No chance to blog.... well I'd probably have the time if I could correlate my thoughts as fast as I can type... a bit slow witted I think.

Bubby turned 3 last weekend. On the Saturday we took him for a bush walk to a beautiful sandy bay for a picnic and a bit of fishing. It was gorgeous weather and we ate cherries and apples and pistachio nuts.

I had tried to phone Izzy to join us, but couldn't reach him and was a bit sad he wasn't there. Anyway it's was so deserted over there we walked right to the middle of the bay and I took the opportunity to do a bit of nudey sunbaking. Greg was keeping an eye on the few people wandering around at the very ends of the huge stretch of beach through the binoculars to make sure noone was coming our way. After an examination of some newcomers, he reckons "one of those boys looks like Izzy!" I was too busy soaking in the rays and didn't pay too much attention. But we packed up and left soon after and made our way to the start of the trail where the two kids were. As we got closer I recognised the way one of them moved around and sung out "Izzy!!" Sure enough it was him! With his mate Owen! Of all people we could of seen! They'd come over to play Man Verse Wild (both my boys have been thoroughly affected by Bear Grills the survival expert) and spent the afternoon after we'd left, eating hermit crabs and pippies and battling the elements.

Saturday night we went to one of Greg's workmates birthday party and Anakin had a ball there too. We left for home pretty early (not so early that Greg didn't have a chance to get well stewed) because I still had to make birthday cake batter and wrap presents and Greg had to assemble Anakin's kitchen. He was complaining too "This thing has more screws in it than my shed!!". Plus we were missing a bit! Friggin piece 65!! Greg had to bodge it up out of an old piece of ply.

Sunday moring was classic with all the presents being opened. (We've had to re-enact that morning every day since) He's such a grateful little darling and then we all went to the markets for our favourite Thai breakfast.

He was a real head turner in his starwars trooper costume and his hero helmet firmly in place. Thankfully he fell asleep on the way home so I had a chance to put up some decorations, cook the cake, make punch etc before his party guests arrived (his bro and big cousins!).

It was a lovely little celebration and we finished it off with another bushwalk just before dark.

Willy Wonka Wigs

2009-07-13T03:12:00.000-07:00

That's Greg's Scattergories answer he gave for Something that is Black and expected 3 points for. We gave him the thumbs down but were willing to give him one point for "wigs" but he had a tantrum and wouldn't play anymore. Were we fair? I really don't know anymore. He's carried on so much about it since, I'm starting to doubt.

Well I turned 35 since I posted last. I'm a total old bag now (I just hope Greg doesn't catch on. On second thoughts, being pregnant, I'm just as much a total horn bag and he'd be mad to trade me in considering the X-rated treatment he's been receiving! I've morphed in to a complete porn star.)

Nick threw me a birthday party on Saturday night, so we had a weekend of family and friends and heaps and heaps of food!! We parked our caravan down there for the night. We towed it there the really, really long way so we could watch everyone we passed gaulking at it in amazement (well, that's how I interpreted their looks). And then Greg spent half the night taking all the relies for a grand tour (the whole two metres of it). It was cool fun. We had a fire and played Scattergories. Everyone bought me chocolates, (you'd be surprised how much respect you can get from teachers when you start handing around ferrero rochers at the staff meeting) and gave me wads of money - my Uncle Barry baked his generous donation into a loaf of bread! Greg even had some fire crackers, which nearly gave Grandad, who'd already gone off to bed, a heart attack, poor ole boy! Mum looked after all the kids at my place. Except for Anakin who partied the hardest in his spiderman costume with his new spiderman knik-kniks pulled up on the outside as superheroes do, entertaining everyone with his "moonwalk". (He's going through a very timely Michael Jackson phase and spends half the time either serenading people with "Smooth Criminal" or pretending he's a Michael Jackson poster by standing frozen in a weird pose.)

Anyway last weekend was awesome too.. We spent most of Sunday out at Dad and Di's. Greg and Dad had a few beers and tinkered around with one of the golf buggies until it was fixed. And I lit this humongous bonfire that was mostly covered with green stuff that only I could have ever got going without fuel.... Skilled. I know. I swear my belly grew heaps that day. The heat from tending the fire made it swell up like yeasty bread dough! That's how I baked up Anakin so good - I had so many bonfires to light after Cyclone Larry! And Saturday I took off nice and early all on my own. I had breakfast with my Grandad and caught up with my great uncle Dick. And then drove up to Cairns to shop for Anakins birthday presents. I was joined by my girlfriend and we both had a very gratifying splurge. I ended up buying Anakin that gorgeous wooden kitchen from Target. (I bought last seasons, because the colours where heaps more suitable for a boy and it came with all the dishes included unlike the new one which is mostly pink and your expected to buy the dishes separate. I got them to reduce the price for me coz it was from last year and the box was a bit shattered. So it was the one I wanted anyway AND a bargain.) He wants to be a "Cooker" too! And I got him one of those hero helmets that I think he's going to pee his pants over! Again I bloody searched high and low for one on spesh coz basically I'm opposed to paying full price for things. His favourite question lately (besides "Mum are we eating moo-moo?", "Are we eating maa-maa?" and ""Do we eat boc boc bagark!!) is, "What's under my skin?" So I bought him a well illustrated book on the human body and one about Australian birds too. He's right into his nursery rhymes and non-fictions that kid. Not so much the story type boy (except for Hairy Maclary of course).

I'm getting Braxton Hicks contractions really bad nowadays. A couple of nights ago I had them ALL NIGHT! And usually once a day I get heart palpitations too. Kinda makes me fall in a bit of a heap for a few minutes. Tomorrow I'm going for my first anti-natal appointment. I'm expecting them to book me in for my 20 week scan then, for the following week. Greg's still debating as to whether he wants to know the gender or not and I'm figuring I'll just have to go along with whatever he decides. But I'm hoping he'll take pity on me and ask to find out!!!! We think we're having another boy and have another cool "A" name picked out for him. And if it's a girl I think she'll be "Frances" because all the other cool names I love like "Columbine" and "Abra" he totally loathes.

Anyway I need to stretch out my belly on the couch for a bit so as Miss Bea Haven would say "Mas later bitches".

My boys

2009-06-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

Anakin compliments and professes his heartfelt love and devotion to me all day long! He is just the most sweetest child. Greg insists that he coaches him on the quiet, but that's just a big fat lie - coz I reckon Anakin is about a thousand times sweeter. He says the most precious things like "Mum, you are the nicest lady I've never met" (except he means "ever met" of course), "You are my Love", "Mum, you are so soft and cuddly and squiggy and smoogy and SWEET!", "You're my beautifulest", "I'll look after you Mum" and of course "I love you SO MUCH". He is a total darling!!!

He's got some mispronunciations and funny made up words that I've been meaning to record too. He has real trouble pronouncing "breakfast" and has been calling it "breakwurfst" for a couple of years now, it makes us laugh every time he says it. He loves taking photo's and everytime he wants to snap one of us he goes "Smoto!", which basically means "smile for the photo!" It just seems logical to me so I use the expression all the time too.

Got to see Izzy for a brief minute or two tonight and gave him big cuddles (he is the opposite of Anakin and a total ambivalent cuddler, he just hangs there limply while I try wrap him up in my arms.) He's taller than me now! Which makes his cheeks in a real good spot for kissing. I'm not about to hold back my feelings - even if it does make him sqeemish! He just received a totally average report card! Yikes! He is not motivated for school at all that boy. He sends me texts from his school bus like "save me from the clutches of school" and "Not school! I'm going to cut myself!" He did get all A's for Info' Tech' - thank God, a saving grace. And he did well in Man' Arts too but otherwise there was just one C after another. He starts Agriculture next term, Home Ec' and Music too which I think will suit him. His books are so battered from being carted around in his school bag all year, I'm going to organise new books and folders for the new semester. YES! Stationary to shop for when I'm in Cairns this weekend. Not to mention my treasure box at school needs restocking.

I took my special needs kids for the last time today. I'm going to miss my Friday job. Working with small groups is EASY! I had my older boys make playdough today (you can turn a 'reading comprehension" lesson into anything! "Grammar" - not so much). I thought they might like to give it to one of the younger kids or a sibling but they were totally into it! They we're all like "Miss. Do we get to KEEP THIS??!! AWESOME!!" It's been charity work so far coz I haven't been paid as yet (the job bloody started last term!). I've been onto admin' and it looks like they're going to pay me all at once and I'll get taxed big heaps. Which is going to hurt. Well until tax return time anyway...

They say that pregnant women have lowered immunity but I reckon that's bullshit. I've usually got a forcefield of glowing health protecting me actually. Except I've had Greg coughing all over me for the last couple of months. And taking sickies and lying in bed for whole days at a time. (This is a picture Anakin took of him. He says "this is where Dad's being a sook".)
And now, I wouldn't go all out and say I'm actually sick, but I'm not entirely well at the moment. I've got this cough which gets you right in the gag reflex - you go from coughing one moment to gagging the next. I think that's what woke me up at quarter to 3 this morning... and now the sun should me coming up soon and I still haven't gone back to sleep. Plus we're spose to begin our drive to Cairns in about an hour. Better keep the panadols close today..

Dramas and the balm that soothes them.

2009-06-20T18:44:00.000-07:00

Me and Greg have agreed that our relationship can't go on like this. We argue over the same shit all the time (Greg actually does some stuff around the place for the first time in a month or so and then he totally lords it on and takes the attitude that he can boss me around for how I spend my time, questions me about what I do with myself all day, how much housework I got done etc and then I threaten to kill him in his sleep if he ever mentions housework again unless he's outlining to me which jobs it is he's about to perform coz I'm actually the only one who does it, and that I never professed to be a friggen Stepford Wife and if it's one of those types he wants, I know a few, I'll point him in the right fucking direction.) And then it goes on. It's shockin'. It's pretty deeply entrenched behaviour and we'll need to work consistently at just easing up on each other and getting off one anothers' cases. Hopefully... I've just got the shortest fuse when someone is bossing me around and Greg seems to resent everyone who is not working hard when he actually is (for a change..). Anyway, hopefully better days are ahead.

Took the two kids for a shop yesterday. Me and Anakin picked Izzy up nice and early and then went to Maccas (just a short 45 minute drive away) for a hearty breakfast and a big play on the playground. (Anakin is getting much more cheerful and congenial towards other kids now thankfully, he was terrible for a while there - growling like a tiger at any kid who came near him; refusing to get out of the car if there was other kids in the park; telling me "Mum! Quick! Get away from those monsters!!", if we went too close to other kids with our shopping trolley! With much coaching he now sees them as potential play mates and smiles and asks names and is cooperative. Phew!) Then we took our time looking around the shops. I bought the kids new shoes and some warm clothes. And then we wandered around the pet shop and came home with the most adorable little guinea pig "Milo". She is so placid and a perfect pet for Bubby.
It was really nice being with my two boys, we had a lovely time together. We ended up taking cupcakes to Grandads, he was at golf but we saw Uncle Barry there briefly before he went to tee off as well. I'm so glad Grandad has his golf to keep him busy. (I think I've mentioned all them blokes on my Dad's side are all mad keen golfers.) It never matters too much if anyone's home there or not, the house is always open so we let ourselves in for a cuppa tea and a trip to the toilet and just leave a note.

We've spent a few afternoons at the block lately too which is always so good. We planted two bowen mangoes, a rambutan and two leopard trees. And today I bought a jaboticava to take out. We cleared the guinea grass right away from the trees and are in the process of cleaning up under the clump of guava trees. Soon I'm going to get a backhoe in to skim the top off the hill and level a house pad. Can't wait for that!!

Anyway I bought some aquatic plants for Anakin's fishtank at the markets this morning as well so I should go and sort them out. Catch ya.

On this day in history.

2009-06-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

It's Friday afternoon, thank God! Three days of work in a row is too much for a pregnant woman! Greg should've been home a while ago so I called him. His first explanation was that he was still at work, his second included the need to hang around for the meat tray. Work? Meat tray? Seems like a bit of a... what are those things called.. oxymoron.. yeah, one of those. The pub's only a 2 minute walk from the mill... that seems more of a likely story.

I had to have panadol with my breakfast this morning. (Time to go back to the chiropractor. Yesss!! She's nice..) I had a headache behind my eye after work yesterday that persisted the whole entire night. If I don't get a good solid block of sleep while I have a headache it just seems to hang around. And even though I feel like crashing and burning in the arvie, I still spend half the night lying awake (planning my next lessons, wondering what the hell animal is climbing up the screen this time and why my pyjamas are suddenly all wet - Doh! Anakin's wet the bed again and as mentioned, he sleeps that close to me, he's peed all over the both of us! And now that I'm stripped off in the nude, how come it is that my man, who hasn't had me in like, days, can lie jammed up so close to the other side of me without wetting his pyjamas too??). Yep, in some ways it's pretty rough.

But it's still good going to bed coz it's the only time my little baby belly pops up noticeably, otherwise it's pretty none existent behind all the excess fat that's still hanging around there from my last pregnancy 3 years ago! I haven't put on any weight yet, actually I lost a kilo or two due to my cravings to subsist all day on healthy things like cherry tomatoes and tangelo juice.

Well Izzy's spending the weekend here as well as my second cousin and it's nearly time to go collect them. I instructed them both to have a good shower before I got there (Izzy's not real down with our outside shower) and to go get a burger for dinner from the shop. That's going to make my life easier on this Friday evening with a weekend of marking and reporting ahead. XXX

I neglected to put some holiday pics on my blog after our trip to the opal fields but I recently made an album for them on FB - check them out there if you like :)

Nan XXOOXX

2009-06-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

4:20 am and I just had to get up to put a load of washing on... okay so the bathroom reno's have taken a far while longer than I anticipated (now the whole septic needs re-trenching as well! Phttt!) and the house is still in a complete shambles, and I just wish I didn't have to be the one to have to constantly try sort it all out! Story of my life..

Nana passed away last weekend. I was at the hospital with my Uncle Barry when they took away her respirator and shared in the last couple of hours she was here. We're all going to miss her like crazy, she epitomized the essence of the quintessential Grandma without even trying a bit! I'd do annoying things, like throwing-up on her carpet in the middle of the night in my sleep and requesting the same movies over and over again at the video shop and... umm.. (well, okay I wasn't that annoying), Nick would get car sick on the way to the creek and complain about our noisy renditions of old show tunes.. (she wasn't that annoying either). She just loved us so much (we decorated her dresser in all these handmade coloured-paper flowers once and she left them there for like over a decade!) and I can't even remember her once showing us the slightest bit of frustration, EVER! She would never say a nasty word about anyone, she just was the sweetest lady in the whole world.

I got to have one visit with her in the ICU when she was conscience and able to talk. The first thing she said to me was "How's the little baby?" I said "Yeah, he's real good, he's over at Chris's place, Chris took a lunch break so I didn't have to bring the kids along.." She said "Not Anakin. The LITTLE baby". I'd barely told anyone I was pregnant and I wasn't really in a rush to tell Nana coz I knew she wasn't real keen on the idea of me having anymore, she liked a lady to have freedom in life... I said to her "How did you know Nana? I've hardly told anyone!" She reckons real slyly and whimsically "I'm a Sage.." I've got the feeling my gf might have let it slip when she visited her previously, but she's not telling me so. She put me to good use that day, rubbing her swollen feet with cream and getting me to slip ice chips in her mouth against Doctors' wishes. Her body was so swollen with fluids she couldn't even lift her own arms. I wish her last few weeks didn't have to be the way they were. It was so horrible for her. Her and Grandad were married for 60 years. Granddad is utterly heartbroken. We all are. She was so beautiful..

This weekend I had an appointment for an NT scan seeing as I have now reached "advanced maternal age" (can that be real??) It was awesome to see Berry on screen although Greg was starting to feel vicarious claustrophobia for the little tacka. He looks all healthy and has a 155bpm heartbeat. The sweetest image I have is of the back of his (?) little skull and his spinal chord trailing down past the two dark kidney patches and ending at his skinny little bony-bum. It's so darling.

I'm so glad me and Anakin are having the day together at home today. Worked with the Grade Five's yesterday so had to farm him out to Auntie Nick again, plus we've been away from home two weekends in a row, we really just need a couple days to potter about and chillax.

Yesterday morning, I got up with Greg at the crack of dawn to get organised for work and after getting dressed I noticed Anakin's little sparkly eyes glinting through the crack of the bedroom door. Usually he'd come right out and find us, but he was just hanging-back and peeking, I said "Good Morning Beautiful. What's the matter Bubby? What are you doing?" and then I got real close and could smell pee wafting through the crack. I said "What's the matter Darlin', did you do a wee-wee?" He opens the door to reveal his drenched pyjama's and goes "No, I'm just real sweaty.." Funny boy. He hangs on to me all night like a bloody spider-monkey, he nearly throttles me he cuddles up to me so tight. He still asks for titty too, but is generally happy just to lick me all over the face!

We got some new budgies on the weekend too, they are such little babies. I called mine "Sassy" coz it bit the lady who caught it like a bloody piranha and Anakin called his "Crappy" but has since changed it's name to "Greenie". It's so nice to have birds again.

Greg thinks he's the luckiest man around. Not just once but twice, I initiated Sunday! Must be my aching boobs and the extra blood flow to pertinent areas. Gets me going. Actually it's just him, he's a bit of a spunk.

Into the Wild

2009-05-16T22:20:00.000-07:00

Been without the toilet for a few days now. Talk about back to nature. I bet I've got some mozzie bites on my arse though. Greg's clamped a hose onto the laundry tub tap and put a shower nozzle attachment on the end of it, so we've been standing out on the grass near the carport having a good old hot shower. Luckily there's a couple spots in the yard where you've got total privacy from the road and neighbours! Don't even have to wait til it's dark!

The bathroom's ready for tiling now, it's just been such gloomy wet weather that it took an extra day for the waterproofing paint to dry. But I'm really happy with the builder. He took a look at my house plans for the block and he suggested an architect to draw them up - someone he highly recommends from a builders point of view. Plus he straight away noticed some slight modifications I could make to my floor plan to give you better line of sight, etc. He's deadly! It's nice to know someone in the building/renovations business you can totally put your faith in. I'm going to get him to build my house one day.

How's Anakin's form? This is what he did to his brother the other day: He gently lay a hand on Izzy's cheek and turned his face in towards him and said in this beautiful, quiet, soothing voice, "Look at me Brussy, hold still Brussy, hang on, hold still, hold still..." and then he went BAM! and punched his big brother right in the face. Naughty! It really hurt his hand bad and he had to have a cry on his Dad's lap before being sent to his room for his punishment. Poor Izzy had to go outside and spit out blood. Despite theses one-offs they really adore one another I'm sure. Anakin gets on the phone the other night and says, "Hey Bruss-Bruss. You are SO AWESOME! Bye."

How happy was I this morning! My Thai food lady has come back from her holiday so I was able to have my favourite green vege curry with lime leaves for brekky this morning at the markets. YUM! I haven't shopped for so long and I've been living on copious amounts of passionfruits, from the servo, and avocado, from my mum's man, Rowan, oh, and cornflakes. Anakin was just as eager for his chicken satay stick and big tub of sticky-rice. We were both practically chanting on the way "please let her be there!" She is a magical cook, I'm actually jealous of her husband, getting to eat her food everyday!

My niece has a beautiful collection of gemstones that she keeps on a big dish on her bedside table. I thought I might make my own and today I started with pieces of red jasper, mookaite, carnelian, malachite, lapis lazuli and amethyst. My old Granddad was right into stones and had glass cabinets full of them on display in the lounge room of the family home in Gladstone. I dunno how many hours I spent looking at those. Mum actually inherited them all and had lots of the flat ones made up into pendants for the girls in the family. Next I'll be on the lookout for some turquoise and a piece of tigers eye.

Anakin likes to have the same little dialogue with me once or twice a day at least. It goes like this:
A: Hey Mum.
Me: Yes my Sweet-darling-boy?
A: Do you like going places?
Me: Mmm, sometimes.
A: Why do you like it only sometimes?
Me: Because other times I just like to stay at home, with you.. and Daddy... and Izzy.

For some reason he loves that little conversation.

FINALLY, again!

2009-05-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

So stoked! My bathroom is being started. YAY!! By the end of the week it should be all spangly and new! No more grungy old vents in the ceiling, no more crappy lino, no more dinky outdated little apricot coloured vanity and gammon frosted glass and crummy tap ware. It'll be AWESOME! Next thing I'd love to do is rip up all the rest of the lino in the house and lay floating bamboo flooring throughout. Plus a new paint job inside and out.

Anakin is actually having a sleep on the couch! (I'll have to put on Parkinson every day at 2pm!)He hasn't had a day sleep for ages, not since the boobie was cut out. It's nice having him in bed at 7pm I must say, but after such a long day together, I'm pretty much ready for sleep then too!

Had a nice weekend, we really needed to spend it at home. Greg cleaned out the carport and and tidied the shed right up. I freshened up our bedroom, rearranged a bit, washed the curtains etc. We are slowly getting there. If we owned half as much stuff it would make things a lot easier!

(What is it with Tradies talking to themselves?? This teacher aide always does it in the photo-copy room. I spose it's a problem solving technique - self-talk. He's going flat-out I'll give him that!)

Paul brought Izzy over for a visit on Sunday and I had my brother Nicholas here as well, that was good. Greg and Bubby took me for a mystery drive to go and get my Mothers Day present - some new budgies from the bird guy up the road. 'Cept he didn't have any :( And I had to confess to him what happened to the last bird he sold me. He was all "how did you kill a cockatiel? They're like the hardiest birds of the lot." I was like "I spose you wouldn't sell me any budgies now even if you did have some available" And he goes "Well, I don't like my birds dying. I'll tell you that much. Every one is just like my baby." I made Greg give me a good footrub later on, to pay me back for forcing me into a confrontation with the guy. I felt so bad in the first place, I never wanted to actually see him again! Going to the pet shop next time. I don't want to be responsible for killing someones baby!

Finally

2009-05-08T23:07:00.000-07:00

Greg broke a piece off the fan inside the computer and it's working a treat now!

Had a couple traumatising weeks with my Nana in the intensive care unit. She had a perforated bowel and was in an induced coma for a while, all was very high risk and touch and go. Thankfully she's conscience now (beyond great odds and expectations!). So each chance I've had I've been travelling to Cairns to go and visit her. The first time I saw her awake again she put me straight to work rubbing her feet with cream and feeding her ice chips against the nurses' wishes. Man, I hope she makes it out of there, I'm going to love seeing her back home again in her chair next to Granddad's. I'll whistle as I'm on my way up the stairs and she'll say "Oh, here's our Little One." I don't want the smell of that hand soap you have to use when you go in and out to be impressed upon me psyche for the rest of my life, like it seems to be now.

I'm going along okay otherwise. Slowly getting back into cooking after having a good solid month of not having the stomach for it all. It's not like Greg's going to cook me a yummy feed or anything, his idea of a meal is dumping a tin of four bean mix with a tin of tuna and mixing it through with some BBQ sauce. How foul! My craving for chicken and sweet corn soup is what lured me back in the kitchen. It was well worth it too let me tell you. A couple of nights ago I made a really nice ravioli, but other than that I'm happy to eat some all bran for dinner, or vitawheats and tomato, good simple stuff.

I'm a bit unhappy with myself because I'm feeling mega lazy. For a long time there I would be watching Greg jump around doing his happy dances for us, just thinking "how do you get the energy for that?", I could barely raise enough to make a smile for my face. I still don't like being too far away from my bed! I wish I could muster enough energy for a daily power walk (like some of us) at least, I reckon it would do me the world of good. I'm worried about my little baby being starved of oxygen in my slow moving, lethargic body. Deep breathes. Inhale...

I'm already totally frustrated with the idea of not finding out the sex. For one Anakin is going to need time to get use to the idea of a sister, if that's the case. Because he's adamant he only wants a brother. I keep referring to Charlie and Lola's relationship and cute little cartoon girls like Millie and Mollie. And secondly I can just imagine being in hospital with a fresh baby girl and being stuck dressing her in apple green and deep purple (which is what I'll be stuck buying!). I'm going to learn to read scans so I can figure out the genitalia myself!

Works been great, I had to take Anakin with me yesterday... that was an experience..

He's weaned now and I'm loving all the night time cuddles I get instead! He sleeps on his back like me with his head as close to mine as he can get it and then he throws his arm across my neck and wraps it tightly right round my head. That's after he smothers my face and eyelids in kisses and butterfly kisses. He is super smoogey.

He's with Greg doing some grocery shopping at the moment. God bless 'em. I hate that shit these days. They'll probably come home with a fresh supply of bean mix and tuna tins and olives. Blurgh! Anyway it's fish-n-chip night and we're suppose to be leaving when they get back so I better go get ready. I'll come back soon.

Wow!

2009-04-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

Snuggled up with Anakin to put him to bed last night and he didn't even ask for titty! Not at 5:30 in the morning either when he usually has another bit. I think my agonised groans of pain when he attached has helped him realise he doesn't want it anymore. It was only going to be a matter of time when I'd need to start refusing him the way my boobs are. Ouch!! The body's mechanism to get that huge kid off the boob when there's another one on the way I suppose. I think my supply is pretty minimal too. It'll be interesting to see how he goes at nap time today. Man I really would enjoy the next 7 months with them back to myself! Greg can have them whenever he likes though ;)

Sweat or Scales (North or South)

2009-04-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

Anakin has developed a real sense of humour (I think heightened by the boredom of whole days spent driving to and home from NSW in the last week or so). He gets this evil glint in his eye and says "Sooo.. I've got this new name for you Dad." "Oh yeah, what's that?" And then he'll fart! Or make up some silly rude name like "Brown Wind", "Mulberry Stain", "Cow Nipple", "Bumgrub" or "Poopdeck". The challenge is teaching him that it's not okay to launch right into these kinds of dialogues with strangers. His favourite joke to recite is: Q -"What's invisible and smells like bananas?" A - "Monkey farts!" (Yes, farts are a reoccurring theme stemming from his old man - Greg's been getting around going "Pull my finger!" for weeks now and he never fails to get a huge laugh out of it. Oh to be so easily entertained.) Last night at dinner he put barbeque sauce on his fingertips and then said "High Five Dad!" Hee hee hee. Any opportunity for a laugh. He knows sharks totally freak me out so he gets his shark book and while looking for the biggest, ugliest one that's launching itself out of the water with it's teeth bared and it jaws gaping, he says "I'm looking for your best buddy Mum, I'll find him in a minute."

He's funny and a complete little sweetcake too. He still tells me I'm SOOO beautiful at least 5 times a day and that he loves me SO much. He gives beautiful cuddles and kisses all the time. And apologises heartily if he accidentally hurts me.

We had an excellent holiday. Anakin spent everyday as happy as Larry feeding the birds with Pa and traipsing around with us. (The only bad day he had was Easter Sunday where the main part of his dietary intake was chocolate and his main activity of the day was crying emotionally. Proves how important your diet is!) We rode around the opal fields on our pushbikes every day and "noodled" at the dump. We took in the Goat Cart Races in Lightening Ridge and I was surprised at the fashion saviness of these local women, living in the middle of absolute nowhere. Half of them are probably opal millionaires and holiday in the fashion capitals of the world. Actually there was this row of humpies around the corner from where we were staying called "Millionaires Road". Greg spent a couple of days down the hole with his dad, I reckon it was a bit like scratching a scratchie for him, but one that goes all day long. We made some friends who showed us the impressive amount of valuable opal that they'd found since Christmas - I mean they could probably buy a house with it! And you realise how addictive that lifestyle must be. They all live in shacks and dine at "The Club in the Scrub" and meanwhile they're completely loaded! And I think there's just as many wannabe bushrangers, burning each others camps down and erecting signs like "Dead Men Can't Steal" and "Watch Your Heap" too. It was an eyeopener!

It was a nice change of pace too. Greg's Mum fully looked after us and with barely any jobs for me to do I got a chance to do some fun stuff - Played Upwords and did Crosswords, I drew up an alternative house plan, in case the two story plan comes in way too exy. And I made three friendship bracelets (remember them from high school - the ones you knot out of embroidery thread?) - one for each of my kids! (Yep I'm carrying the third one!!! Me and Greg went from "thinking about trying to conceive" to "trying to conceive" in just a bit more than a fraction of a second and it only took that one time!! I did a pregnancy test after my period was a couple of days late, the verdict being two hot pink lines!! Holy Cow I know!!)

And I guess that whole confession deserves a bit more attention than just a blurb in brackets! I think I'm about 6 and a half weeks along. I haven't even been to see a doctor yet. I've been really well except lately have become a real finicky eater. All I feel like is fruit - gold kiwi's, oranges and bananas, Special K (the cereal I couldn't get enough of when I was pregnant with Izzy and haven't eaten since!) bake beans, and toasted cheese sandwiches. The thought of eating a lot of things is quite unbearable - meat, the fruitcake Greg's mum sent home with us that I was devouring in small truck loads just days ago! Greg has his heart set on keeping the baby's gender a suprise this time, that's going to be excruciating for me come the 20 week scan! I don't mind one way or the other but I'd REALLY like to know ASAP! He's coming up with some really shit names I must say (my apologies if you've ever named someone these) - Logan and Linc! Yelch - how soap opera! Actually his favourite has been "Mookie" - I told him it sounds like a pet name for a ladies vulva, he agreed, and still likes it, I don't mind it really but as a nickname. Apparently it's the name of some basketballer who Pearl Jam named there album Ten after - here I was thinking it was because it had 10 songs on it. It probably doesn't even, I never counted...

At the moment I love the name Montesa for a girl and Wylie for a boy and Maurice for either. Greg won't let me use Oprah :(

I'll come back and add some flix.

Bad dreams

2009-04-01T05:58:00.001-07:00

Just after ticking a box on Facebook to say that I "never had bad dreams" I had this horrendous one: Me and Anakin were at some kind of wildlife park with children and parents milling around everywhere when this female principal bailed me up wanting to discuss some work related matters. I was trying to give her some semblance of focus while keeping my attention on Anakin. I completely panicked for an instant when I lost sight of him when moments ago I was sure he was right by my side. His little voice called out for me and I caught sight of him behind someones legs. I motioned him over by my side and said "Here I am Darlin', just here" and noticed he was wearing these really unusually styled clothes I'd never seen before and would have trouble describing. The principal was vying for my attention again and pushing across her point and then in the next instant I realised Anakin had disappeared completely and my heart felt like it dropped out of my body in that moment. I called and called out for him but had this total feeling of devastation and somehow just knew I would never find him again. It was SO HORRIBLE!! I could feel my sanity ripping away from me with each unanswered call of his name and knew I would be a neurotic mess for the rest of my life, if I could even live through the heartbreak. It was so sever I woke up straight after it, with Bubby snuggled up next to me of course. (Except I wanted to go back into my dream and actually find him! I got back there again but he was still gone.)

I told him about my nightmare in the morning, and after describing my anguish over his disappearance and how sad I was this is what he replied: "Hey Mum guess what? I don't have to go to daycare anymore!". That's what came to mind for him. Getting dropped off and having me walk away while he screamed hysterically! Except it wasn't a dream for him! Oh God, I never want to do that again! I told Greg if he wants another baby, he can forget about me working until they're both school age - as in Prep!!

Speaking of which my period was due yesterday!

Anyway I'm reading this book about a photographer who hooks up with this guy and after a rocky start has a daughter to him. He has a myriad of problems relating to his childhood, I think envies their daughter her comparatively stable one and skips out on them. After that the little girl starts developing habits like binding her own wrist to her mums so they couldn't be separated and walking backward so she could always keep her mother in sight. (Imagine the guilt you'd feel if your kid started doing stuff like that.) Anyway the same day as I had that dream I reached the stage in the story where the photographer's nanny looses her daughter in central park. The little girl had a syndrome called "Deer in the Snow" where she faints for no apparent reason and she had a turn and slipped into the lake and drowns and no-one notices. It takes days for the police to find her (and the mum couldn't recall what she wearing either :( Her grief has completely unravelled her, it's so sad. And really well written otherwise I dunno what the hell I'd be reading it for! I can imagine the moments of utter panic and loss I felt in that dream being stretched out for years. How hard to endure...

Kids.

2009-03-28T18:40:00.000-07:00

Had a lovely afternoon facepainting at Anakin's best mate's party yesterday arve. Julie, his Mum was really thrilled and acted like I'd been hiding this incredible talent from her all this time :P I did tigers and princesses and butterflies, ghouls, devils and puppy dogs and the birthday boy requested an ice-dragon. That one was my favourite. We joined the family for a few glasses of red at their home on the beachfront. They're moving for work soon and I'm really going to miss them heaps. Well, Julie especially, she's awesome company and about the only person who I drop in on for cuppas and we talk non-stop for hours when we get going. I love her heaps.

My Grade 3 class (on Thursdays) are so great this year! They work really hard and are a breeze to manage. The little girls write me letters like "Dear Miss, you are the best teacher of Science and all other activities. I hope you enjoy it." And finish with illustration of me. Really sweet. I went to school on Friday just to do some planning, I knew they had library at 10 so I nicked over to the classroom to grab myself a cuppa while no-one was there. Well they intercepted me on the way! The two lines broke formation as they all rushed over to cuddle me and gush! They make me feel famous! It's so lovely but.

Parlour Guitar

2009-03-27T03:35:00.000-07:00

I went into the local music store ages ago and was immediately drawn to this little limited edition replica parlour guitar brought out by Washburn to celebrate 125 years of manufacturing. Except it cost HEAPS. Every opportunity I'd peer at it through the closed shop front window or go in to admire it up close but I'd kinda categorised it as "in my dreams". That was until the lady had a closing down sale and made it 30% off! I did some research on it and thought: Your mad if you don't! I flew into town after work yesterday and bought it for myself!!! Then I took it directly to Dad, who's played a Washburn forever, so I would be reassured by the really cool things he'd say about it. Which he did!! He made it sound beautiful and loves it as much as I do! Check it out! The case is almost as deadly as the actual guitar!!

The picture doesn't do much justice. It's made of trembesi, mahogany and rosewood and has abolone rosette inlay, an ebony fretboard and a really cool v-shaped neck. I love it SO MUCH! It's nice to buy something your so rapt in it makes you feel giddy! I can't wait to sit in the doorway of my oldschool teardrop van strumming on my replica 1800's parlour guitar!

Oh my girlfriend Kyra had a baby boy this morning! I was just talking to her last night and she was telling me she was booked in for a caesar on Monday, cept she went into labour after that and had to go into surgery this morning. Little Seth was born!! I was telling her she might have to hang onto all the bundles of baby clothes and paraphernalia I recently passed on to her, but I did a preggy test this morning (only 10 days past ovulation mind you) and it was negative. Which kind of made me feel a bit relieved in a way... We've had a shit few weeks health wise - me with headaches and friggin dental pain and Greg has had a barking cough so not the ideal conditions to conceive, plus I think I'm losing my nerve already.. I'm really good at adapting and making the best of a situation but the whole actuality of planning something as momentous as a new baby actually FREAKS the shit out of me! I'm probably bloody too old anyway.. Meanwhile I've been peeing about twice as frequently as usual, I spent one day feeling totally wiped-out for no apparent reason and have begun getting period-like pain when it's not due until Tuesday, so I'm not ruling it out all together just yet.

Our mulberry tree is fruiting again with a HUGE crop. Anakin pretends he's a horse and I feed him these great heaps at once with my hand out flat for him to nuzzle-up. I love feeding him good home grown stuff from the yard, makes me feel less guilty for the noodles he eats for dinner two night in a row..

I had this beautiful dream about the guy I spent most of my teenage years with last night. We were in a swimming pool at night talking most sincerely about our past and cradling one another close. It was heart-wrenchingly tender. A friend had given us a pile of jewelery that had once belonged to us and we were sorting through it all, recalling the occasions each piece had been exchanged. It was a nice dream for me to have because I've got issues with this lad - he spent so many years of his life with me and yet has never been able to foster our relationship since on a platonic level. He always needed the motivation of the possibility of getting me in the sack to bother himself. Anyway I've been listening to Chris Cornell's cover of Led Zeppelin's "Thank You" - he use to play it at gigs and always dedicate it to me,

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.

My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.

An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,

Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.

Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me

no wonder I've got hang-ups!

So what I was saying

2009-03-23T04:13:00.000-07:00

was I can suddenly see the bigger picture - long term benefits of giving Anakin another sibling to share his childhood (one who's not almost a whole generation older than him!) In the long-run I think two little buddies together is going to be a lot less demanding than one. I've been there with Izzy and although I went out of my way to make sure he had the opportunity to have friends and cousins over at our place a lot and personally invested lots of time into doing stuff with him, he was still pretty lonely I think. I wasn't in the position to give him a sibling at the time but in retrospect I wish I could have. Now with Anakin, it's kind of now or never. As it is there would be a 3 and a half year gap, any longer and it defeats the purpose (well one of them).

Anakin is really non-stop. Today I'm psyching myself up to spend the whole day as "Penny" and he'll be "Bolt" of course. He tells us who we are and what we need to say and do. It's charming and creative and all but a bit wearing day in and day out for an adult. We go from pretending to painting to playing with the hose, more pretending, making cubbies, playing toys, pretending, reading, drawing, puzzles, racing tracks, chasing, crafty, ... and he doesn't want to do anything much unless Greg or I are right there in the thick of it with him. I get a break when he's watching tele, but otherwise I think he plays on his own for about 20 minutes a day! Izzy was the same! He's the best little kid but geez it's exhausting being the best playmate of a 2 and a half year old!

Anyway we thought about all this and Greg was never really sure if he wanted to stop at one, so we just went for it, on like day 15 of my cycle (and day 13 and 17 and 19 and.. ). If it doesn't happen really fast we'll probably loose our nerve altogether! Last month I had ovulation pain for 2 whole days and nights and a chronic migraine 5 days before my period, but this cycle has been kind of a non event, no tweaks or twinges of anything - I wonder if I even ovulated at all. I don't know what's going on. Anyway if it doesn't happen this month and we're brave enough to keep trying, if I fell next month the due date would be better timing in regards to my work. Plus I've got a thing with numbers and a birthday in an odd day in an odd month in an even year would be way cool like the rest of us. (Anakin has just been playing in his room for 10 minutes or more! Came out once to show me his pterodactyl egg! Legendary. Oh here he comes again...)

Greg is just that much of a beautiful Dad if he had his heart set on any number of children I don't think I could deny him for too long.. So it's on the cards that we'll have another one of these little beauties joining the family in the near future:

How could you resist?

Coulda popped a clot

2009-03-19T04:56:00.000-07:00

Well we've finished watching Underbelly so maybe my blog will get some attention at nightimes again.

I've had a few pretty shithouse days after going to the dentist and getting some roots extracted from right down in my gum. Oh man, I spent about 4 days feeling like I'd been repeatedly punched to the side of the head and trying not to overdo it on the Nurofen. I'm into pretty clean living so to me the idea of too many is like more than one a day. Anything that restricts my relationship with food is bound to bring me down. Just today it's become a great deal more bearable which has been a huge relief, the thought of having to go get the hole poked around in a bit more totally sucked. I had to put my exercise regime on hold (afer all of a whole three really nice workouts) coz I felt if my heartrate when up too high I'd burst a blood clot and have an aterial spray. Mind you even if though I coulda popped a clot I risked my blood pressure rising from more pleasurable persuits... heh heh heh...

Anyway I'm on the rebound now. Luckily coz we're going on a big road trip down to the opal fields near Lightening Ridge in a couple of weeks. That's going to be one huge drive! I'm hoping the in-laws have an internet connection down there as I'm not going to want to miss out on any exciting blog news and pregnancy updates etc. Speaking of which. After so many years of not being able to see past the difficulties of another pregnancy and baby, I've suddenly... to be continued..

Sugarworldlandchestertinvaleville

2009-03-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

Izzy's been home since Thursday! It's been so nice, I could really get use to having my two boys under one roof again. Paul's girlfriend has moved up from Sydney so Iz has been giving them a bit of space to settle in together before he goes back over to the unit.

Took the kids to Sugarworld on Saturday. I was totally working those corners on the Banana Bender and only received one blow to the head in the Flying Fox, unlike my friend Tiffany, I dunno what the hell she was doing but she ended up with bloodblisters on her back, shattered vertebrae, multiple concussions and fractures... bit of an exaggeration but you get my drift.. The kids totally wore themselves out - Izzy was fast asleep by 6 o'clock. Tiffany and her family were suppose to come back to ours for pizza and risotto but they all flaked out too.

Anakin has been such a little honey to us lately, tells us "I love you guys, so much" and to me "you're really beautiful Mummy". Oh my God, what a Darling. A bit of a contrast to how he treats people on the perimeter of his life though. He growls at other peoples kids to "get back in your trolley!" at the shops, we have to pull him up for being bossy and antisocial a fair bit. He's just totally in love with his family at the moment and doesn't care too much for anyone else. He's had this persistent cough that's been waking him up at night making him sound like all the other kids at Daycare so after yet another sleepless night I called them to let them know he wasn't coming back and did I rejoice after that phonecall was made. Nick said she'd take him for me on Thursdays which is such a load off my mind. Although Bub was getting a little bit better there each time, he still screamed hysterically every time I left which would just about give me an instant migraine and it was as if he missed every second week coz he picked up the latest round of snotty nose syndrome. Yuck. I'll have to take him to playgroup or something so he becomes a bit nicer at making friends but I think I'll try leave the whole dropping him off to school on his own for as long as I possibly can, or until they're at least over licking toys and coughing over one another's food..

I've picked up another 3 and a half hours a week at the school, taking some remedial groups for reading and grammar, luckily I can do it on a Friday when Greg has his RDO. Well that's until the crushing season starts and then I'll have to sort something out for him.

Persimmons are in season! HURRAY!!

Creme de la Creme and the little Blue Shark

2009-03-03T01:48:00.000-08:00

Had a day with Izzy over the weekend, we spent it in Cairns and it was nice to have a long drive with just him for company. His comical stories about higschool were characteristically hilarious - I think he has real perception when it comes to accessing people and the way he expresses his view of situations makes you feel totally in the moment. He told me about a group of kids he hangs out with at the library - their manual is a book on Rancid Livestock Diseases and they call themselves names like "Master Sprinkles", "Creme de la Creme" (that's him) and "Master Fairybread-Pink-Unicorn". He tells me about all the brawlers and different kids who spend all their free time pouring over their copies of PC Power Play. Sometimes I wish I had a dictator on him so when he becomes a standup comedian in the future he'll have lots of old material to work with.

Anakin is still permanently role playing. Lately he's moved into an Incredible Hulk phase. When his mask is off he's the reasonable and calm Bruce Banner, then he slowly lowers it and Hulk is unleashed. He warns "Watch out Mum, I'm going to wreck your house!" and he throws things, swings punches and roars! At the moment he's riding around the house being a postman delivering cheques from Gold Lotto. And now he's a little blue shark that eats fish and ducks. Yep, he gets very specific. He gets a bit carried away in his fantasies sometimes too - so many times when he's being an "Adult" he gets outraged when we refuse to let him drive the car. And if he's "Daddy", then why the hell can't he have a beer and as many salty plums as he likes??!

Photo Tag

2009-02-28T20:44:00.000-08:00

Thanks Vanilla for giving me something to do.
The rules:
1. Go to the section of your computer where you store all of your photos.
2. Select the 6th folder.
3. Select the 6th photo from that folder.
4. Post and explain about that picture.
5. Tag 6 other people

My Photo
Is from a folder called "Artists/Artwork" and is full of images of people who's artistic talents I admire. It has inspirational pictures of Eddie Vedder, Zac de la Rocha, Alanis Morrisette, Frida Kahlo, Marchesa Casati, Anais Nin, Gustav Klimt, Elsa Shiaperalli, plus just pictures of spunks like Cameron Flowers, Mark Ruffolo and again Eddie Vedder!

Picture number 6 is of Frances Farmer. I picked up her biography "Will There Really Be a Morning" from a secondhand book shop on my first and only trip to Byron Bay. And from the sounds of it she had an incredibly tragic life. It's difficult to picture the groomed, sad, girl in the picture in a mental institution being thrown into ice baths and chewing holes right through her lips from the cold. She suffered through some really horrendous situation but still tried to keep hope and make the most of things. I used her picture as a colour study in painting when I was at Uni. I think she's incredibly beautiful.

I Tag LTWIS, Tiff, Ruth, St Clare, Elemental and Kim.

Never too old.

2009-02-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

Weekend was great. Spent it in Cairns and had a night out clubbing for an old mate's 30th. It was really lovely to be out in town hanging out with friends, drinking and dancing, like old times (except now I check my phone every 5 minutes for missed calls from Nan and Pa's!)

Greg was a beautiful and attentive date. Last time we were out socialising I had to spell it out for him that you don't pull up a chair time and again next to some chick promoting herself as a pagan hedonist, who wants to get away with mass-murder and shag lots of old people when she finally makes it into a retirement home, or any other random chick for that matter when there's a seat empty near your woman! And what happened to the way we always presented ourselves as a united force (in my case -to be reckoned with!!), so no one would get the wrong idea or have an opinion that they could divide us? I never want that to change!

Maybe my message sunk in, or maybe I was just looking too irresistible for him, or maybe I was just too busy socialising myself to become worked up over who Greg was bumming cigarettes off every other moment he wasn't with me... Give me a break, I've already admitted to being a jealous freak and a hypocrite... Doesn't really help when my man is the biggest head turner in the room who only began to realise his magnetism over woman once he'd already hooked up with me and after a whole adolescence spent feeling like the opposite to a ladies man.

Anyway I woke up with big inky patches all over myself from the stamps I was sporting on my wrists and wore them proudly all the next day. I even stayed sober enough to drive home. (Coz after much protesting some friends convinced my to start budgeting and my budget certainly doesn't include $20 taxi rides!!! Or too many expensive drinks!)

The only sad thing was one of us (I'm saying it was Greg) forgot to close up properly before we left on Friday night and a night tiger got in while we were gone and ate our beautiful budgies : (. First mission when we got home yesterday was to catch the bloody thing! I swear our eski has had more snakes in it then beers!

Check. Check.

2009-02-19T16:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Facebook my blog has been very neglected but it was only going to be a matter of time before I could no longer ignore my invalid photo's and the disappearance of my trillion Hershey kisses. Greg has taken Anakin down to the boat ramp to catch some bait fish so I'm using the opportunity to try and keep myself distracted from the fact that it's croc infested down there, not very successfully obviously... That little boy is going to be into fishing, diving, rock climbing, exciting survival stuff ... he named his goldfish after Bear Grills... so I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to get use to these things...

I'm loving Greg's 4 day weeks. Every Friday during the slack he has an RDO, so it means sleep ins and big pancake breakfasts for all of us. Well except Izzy, he doesn't even live here anymore.. sob, sob! Actually it's strangely peaceful...

He only lasted a day in the Catholic school. He was stressed out and uptight about it, so on the second day instead of driving him up there to sort out his dismal locker situation, we busted him outta there completely. Stopped at Maccas for breaky and drove him straight to the local public high school, where he's been completely satisfied ever since. Thank the Lord! It was such a relief to me to get him settled in somewhere he's happy. Speaking of which he loves it over with his dad. He reckons he's actually got a life now and grumbles about having to spend time here at home. Little shit. They're a pretty good fit those two. Me and Izzy conflict a lot sometimes and stress each other out, which is really sad when you look at all his baby movies and see what a Mumma's boy he once was.

We'd been wrestling with the thought of selling the block and then we went for a swim out there (listen to me: "out there", "over there", "up there") last weekend and it was just that beautiful after the floods. The water was crystal clear and the sand all washed clean, total paradise. We just thought no way. Every now and again we just need a reminder that until Bub's in school and I get to work full time things are going to be a little stretched, but hey, it's all worth it.

Did you see that nasty piece of work on telle last night trying to convince parents to give newborns 4 hourly feeds in between 3 hour stints in the garden "and shut the door too - you don't need to hear their little noises", "and don't cuddle them while they're having a feed, you don't want them to get too cozy". What a friggin bitch!!

The Burn's Deep

2009-01-15T04:15:00.001-08:00

I dragged Greg and Bubby out of bed this morning to put my pushbike in the boot and drive me about 50 k's from home so I could ride all the way back again with my Mum (she's always giving me these physical challenges). Greg's like "are you mentally prepared?" and I'm all "I don't need to be. It'll be a nice." My legs don't feel too nice right now! About 8 or 9 k's from home I'm asking Mum "how do YOUR legs feel" (she'd ridden that far the previous evening as well!!), she replies casually "Oh, they're sort of a little bit sore" and I'm going "Well mine aren't sort of, a little bit anything. They're KILLING me! It feels like I'm doing permanent damage to the tendons above my knees!! They're on fire!! They're BURNING!!" She left me collapsed on the ground, phoning home for Greg to come rescue me. (Rowan warned me I could be road kill with flies buzzing around and she wouldn't stop and turn around to check on my condition, now I've got a sneaking suspicion he might not have been exaggerating.) If we hadn't have stopped half way for an iced coffee and chips n gravy in the air conditioned cafe maybe the lactic acid wouldn't have caught up with me...

Izzy's Dad, Paul, is back up and they've been approved to rent a nice townhouse at one of the beautiful beaches on the other side of town. It's such a beautiful place to live. Izzy will have mates close by and his cousins when they stay with their Dad will be just up the hill, plus he'll be in walking distance of an actual shop, which will be a complete novelty for him. Sells fish and chips and everything ;) So my 12 year old is moving out of home tomorrow and making a life with his dad :( They better invite me over!! I'll be majorly worried though, Paul's about as broke as they come, doesn't know how to cook to save himself.. I don't know how they're going to go but at least I'm not too far away.

Anakin had his first day of daycare last Thursday and has been chronically sick ever since! He was suppose to go back today but is still blowing snotties. He's been in superlative health for months and months so I guess was due for a bit of a lurgy. He was pretty good there, I stayed for about the first hour and then left to play tennis with Mum just across the road, I spied in on him a couple hours later without him knowing and they told me he'd had a little cry for me but they distracted him with the fish tank and building car tracks and stuff. He had a sleep there and everything!! Me and Greg picked him up right on three o'clock - I couldn't get there fast enough! He'd just woken up and was sitting up in his little bed when he saw us at the door. Little baby. He's such a sweetie! He just seems like this beautiful little shining light to me and honestly I didn't want to send him back amongst all these other green boogerie nosed little creepazoids. I suppose we'll get use to them and they'll start to look less like a little bunch of onions. God, I'm mean. But honest. You know what I mean anyway. Your own kids just look... better! Anyway I'm a bit worried because I thought I had another day to settle him in but next time he's due to go I'm actually back at work! (Thank God coz all the trips to the op-shop and the beautiful pairs of shoes I bought over New Years has left me scraping the bottom of the barrel!) As soon as his cough is gone I'll go back with him for a big visit so it's not a whole 2 weeks between. We role played every Daycare scenario in the leadup to his first day, everyone in the house took turns at being the group leader Danielle enthusiastically welcoming Anakin to his new daycare, followed by "washing hands", "snack time", "outside play time", "nap time". He rehearsed key phrases like "Danielle I need to do a wee!" and "Danielle, these grass seeds in my pants are making me itchy!" (The gardener isn't too reliable.) He couldn't have been more prepared than he was. (I suppose we could have dosed him up on echinaccea or something!) I'm so grateful work is just right across the road! And Nick will be around if anything goes too haywire.

Nick's having problems in paradise if you know what I mean. And whenever she's emotionally upset she stops eating. I think she ate like a bunch of grapes and a bite of chocolate for two and a half entire days! It's a big worry. I can't be that cruel to myself. That's just deprivation. She's like half a head taller than me and 50kilo's! She got right down to 47 at one stage and the shape of her teeth were practically showing through her lips. She's gone to spend the night at Nana and Grandads so I hope she's eating dinner!

I think my hope of a leg rub is pretty much non-existent since it's gotten so late, but I better get to bed I suppose just in case. Night.

Compression

2009-01-11T05:09:00.000-08:00

Geez it's been so long I hardly know what to write!

I've got Greg and his old man in the background watching 9-11 conspiracy documentaries. Greg's as always trying to rattle his dad's sense of .. I dunno what... I've forgotten how to express myself.. civil rest, peace of mind.. something...

Christmas n New Years was spent like most people do around here - surrounded by family, weekends away, swimming or sweating, admiring christmas lights and fireworks, playing cricket on the lawn and in the park, tennis, ten pin bowling, eating too much good food... Actually the overwhelming thought of trying to capture all the stuff we've done since last time I wrote has been the reason I haven't written at all! So I'll just add a couple pix and skip all that. Okay with you?

The week that was and will be

2008-12-17T05:17:00.000-08:00

First weekend after getting home with the Tab and we took it away! YAY!! We stayed at a van park in Townsville. Saturday we took the kids swimming at the rock pools and had fun at the waterpark on the Strand. Sunday we went to the markets and then to Riverside/Riverway?? - more swimming anyway which is the thing to do in this stinking hot weather. Speaking of which we almost died of heat exhustion on Friday night, I got absolutely no sleep and had a ripping headache from rolling around in my own sweat all night (and some of Anakins too), We had to go and buy a fan for inside the van and one for the annex too so Saturday night was heaps better. I suppose you can't really classify it as camping when there's a Pizza Hut, Sizzler, Noodle Box, Macca's and Hungry Jacks within a 200 metre radius, but I did cook Jaffles, which got all stuck to the jaffle iron, burnt around the edges and totally sucked, but anyway... We caught up with some much missed friends and visited with Anakin's cousin Toby, it was fun. We packed a machete so on the way home we could stop on the road and cut ourselves a Christmas tree. We were walking along looking for the best one and signing for the truckies to honk their horns as they drove passed. HONK!! HONK!! Hilarious. Just as we got safely home a huge thunder and lightening storm began. The cracks of thunder were deafening and we lost all power except for some power points in our bedroom. So Izzy put his mattress down on the floor, we plugged one of our new fans in and away we went! (To sleep.)

Monday morning I got a ride to Cairns with Nick and Chris to pick up my car (which has been there ever since Greg flew down to Brisbane to meet me). The kids and I stayed up there for the night and Nick looked after them for me for a few hours while I did some damage to the bank account shopping for Christmas. Visited my girlfriend who got me into wedding planning mode googling wedding dresses. Have to post a few of my favs so far.

Got home yesterday and have been hooking in to the house work trying to spruce the place up. The inlaws are coming tomorrow!!! So I've been cleaning under beds, washing all the cushion covers and throws, scrubbing out the laundry, making trips to the salvo' bin ... I've still got SO much to do. I need HELP!! Or just one more day!! Two would be better. I can't wait to have it all done so I can indulge in something a bit more fun - like some sewing, or some Christmas cooking. The yard needs serious attention too but we've been getting rain every arve so there's nothing we can do about it at the moment. We are heading to Kurrimine Beach this weekend so if we can't get it done beforehand we're going to need a bloody slasher by the time we get back!

Anakin has been reciting "Hey Diddle Diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon.." his favourite nursery rhyme to us all tonight. He sounds so incredibly cute. He thinks it's a really funny poem. I bought him a beautifully illustrated book of nursery rhymes (from Nana and Grandad) for Christmas so his repertoire will be a lot larger come the New Year I'm sure.

I bought Izzy a box of decaffinated cappacino sachets to satisfy his current obsession with drinking coffee. He's been drinking them like there's no tomorrow. Except there is, and tomorrow I'm going to be setting a limit of ONE!

I feel a bit ripped off that Christmas is coming up so fast and I don't feel like I've had time to be Christmassy enough yet! We only got around to putting up the tree last night!! Today we set up some colouring fairy lights in Izzy window. Yesterday I bought myself a little Christmas frock from the op-shop and dug out my jingly christmas braclets. Actually we stopped at a servo in Gin Gin in the middle of the night on the way home from Gympie where I bought three CD's of Chrismas Carols. They even have renditions from Lou Reed and The Darkness! I flogged them in the car all the way home don't worry.

End of an era

2008-12-11T00:20:00.000-08:00

Today spells the last day of primary school for Izzy and I'm already organising his school gear for next year. There's a bit of guess work involved though because there's no booklist in highschool, I'm just trying to think, practical, organised, easy... What do they use colouring-in pencils at high school?? My entire bookshelves are filled with state of the art folders and binders and document wallets, so I'll be dusting a few of those off and trying to get away with buying as little as possible this time.

I feel like I need to go through this whole house with a fine tooth comb as if we were moving out. The place is a bit of a shambles and it gets on my nerves. I need some serious organisation going on in here.

Well I finished my teaching contract. I'll miss a lot of the kids but I tell ya, a couple of them were SO out of control yesterday. Maybe because it is the last week with lots of fun activities going on and the relaxing of the usual routines. But holy shit, I came so close to dropping this big brute of a child flat on his arse, the vision of it was flashing in front of my eyes just before I dragged him off to the office instead and saved my career. And another misfit of a kid was picking up chairs and throwing them around. The other kids are just use to it and get about their activities sensibly while all this complete bedlam is going on around them, it's quite amazing. It was a shithouse note to finish off on and I tell you if I see either of them in the street in future and they wanna be my best friend I'm just going to have to say "don't ever approach me again, just turn around and walk the other." So harsh hey and I probably wouldn't even. But if you had to deal with these confrontational little shits you'd feel the same I swear.

Anyway my new contract has been approved for next year and my name is even alongside Mum's on the top of the class list. I've taught these kids before, they're mellow as. Anakin's daycare is all organised too and he starts one day a week in early January. We went for a visit on Tuesday and all the little kids were really interested in the both of us and the group leader was a beautiful girl. It's going to turn out real good.

Anyway Iz is hounding me for the computer and Anakin is trying to wipe mayonnaise all over me (his favourite snack??) so off I go for now..

As I was saying..

2008-12-09T04:39:00.000-08:00

I was a bit fried after that huge drive and complained to Mum (after she made me drive her around town looking for a gift for Mumps) "are you all going to have to actually witness my physical and mental breakdown before one of you takes Anakin and lets me have a bloody sleep??!!" Well they took him for about 20 minutes while I tried to reorder the neurons! Fark! And I didn't take it too well when my Auntie gatecrashed into my motel room and set up a DVD player for all the older kids to watch zombie movies. I was like "fine I'll just grab all my stuff and move into your room shall I? Fancy sharing it with a 2 year old and a strung out crazy-woman? (I'm sure about as much as I wanted to share mine with a bunch of morose pre-teens) Shove over! He we come!!"
Anyway it was all fun and games, a whirlwind of BBQ's, morning teas, pool parties, tennis, dining out..
Then come Monday afternoon I packed up the kids and headed on down to Gympie, which once upon a time had a reputation as "Hell Town", a name which I refuse to let die, I'm actually single handedly responsible for perpetuating the myth. All the way me and the kids were singing the ACDC song "I'm on the (sing it with me) High Way to Hell!! .....town". Actually it's a really beautiful place where I got to hang out with my old uni mate Jenny and meet her girlfriend (as opposed to boyfriend in this context), who was a real honey too. We all have two boys each! So it was a barrel of fun.
Thursday the T @B got delivered by my best buddy Bill!
And get this bit, it freaked me right out... after all the papers where signed and the transactions complete and Bill went on his (not so) merry way (I would cry too selling such a cool van), this huge thunder and lightening storm rolled in and everyone was talking hail (oh.my.God.) The roller doors to Jenny's shed were too small to be able to get the van under cover and I just stood at the kitchen window with this totally grim look on my face for about an hour (I should have got a photo of it), while the lightening and wind and rain and occasional "tink" "tink" of hail beat down and whipped around my lonely little van, sitting in an increasingly large puddle... oh God... Thankfully it rolled away just as fast and my little Tabernacle was left undamaged... geez, what a freakout..
Friday was Mammoth!! I drove another 1 n a half hours further south and spent the day at the Australian Zoo with the kids visiting koalas and tortoises and wombats and camels and elephants and tigers and cheetahs and pigs and sheep and goats and komoda dragons and crocs and alligators and .. well we bloody saw everything that was there....

Greg had caught a plane to Gympie and a bus to Beerwah and met us out the front at closing time.
Then we took our time driving back to Gympie where we took our time hooking up the van and packing up the car and then we began our very looong journey home.
Greg musta missed me a lot while I was away - after the kids went to bed the first night we were on the road he told me he wanted to marry me! It was a really nice moment actually. We were looking at each other adoringly through the darkness and giving each other big cuddles coz it was just so nice to see each other after a week apart and I said "you CAN marry me." Thinking we were just talking sweetly .. and he's gone "Really! I want you to be my wife! I've got you a ring, it's right here!" I'm just like "are you for real!!!! Oh my God! I wanna see it!!! Where is it??!!" Probably be an eternity before we can actually afford a wedding, but never mind first things first - a rollicking big old engagement part, with lots of food and drink and a bonfire!! Woo-hoo!! You can all come too!!

(I'll come back later and add some pix, it's getting late and it's my last day of school tomorrow

Back with the T@Bernack - The first bit.

2008-12-07T16:34:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a week and thankfully made it home, with everyone and everything still in one piece. No traffic fines, no bad misshaps, just all good stuff.

How adventurous am I? Friday I packed everything up, it was flogging down with rain so I had to park the rear end of the car into our jammed up carport along side of the house to get everything in the boot without getting saturated. Me and the kids ended up setting off for Gladstone at about 2.30pm. We didn't get too far before we had to stop for Anakin's potty time.
Yep, great thinking packing that potty. And then a bit further up the road was an hour and a quarter delay where a semi and the Tilt Train had collided the previous day. Traffic was banked up majororly, every now and again we had to jump in the car and buckle up and drive another 200 meters, then stop, pile out onto the side of the road and chat with fellow motorists before doing that all again about 5 times before we actually reached the detour and could continue on. It was the longest trip just to reach Townsville on dark and I had an entire nights worth of driving ahead of me! At Townsville we raced into Woolies to get some supplies - munchies to supplement the big batch of energy slice I had made, batteries for the torch, sticky pads for Izzy's to draw flick cartoons, chocolate to keep me awake.. I let Izzy join me in a cappacino for the first time ever on the way out and now he thinks he's a conisseour, with preferences for mild roasted and orange mocha's.. We'd gone through the drive through at Macca's for those and get this - they made us wait in the carpark!! God we were so paranoid about hold-ups by then and that extra few minutes waiting nearly killed us! We were banging on the side of the car in desperation and annoyance! They weren't even worth it coz they gave us stupid Extra - some artificial alzaimers inducing sweetener crap instead of plain bloody sugar!!
But we snapped a whole tube full of glow sticks to make us feel better and it did. Watching Izzy trying to take a discreet pee on the side of the road with about 15 glow sticks hanging around his neck and wrists was pretty funny.

We got a little bit lost driving through Ayr and when we entered back onto the Bruce Highway we were driving right behind Mum!!! Her and Nick and the kids where driving together, heading to Gladstone for the family reunion too, but we all left home at completely different times! Wild. We drove the convoy onto Serena were they slept at a rest area till daylight and I just kept on driving.. The coffee and V drink didn't help so much as chewing off all my fingernails... I stopped a few times to feed Bubby back to sleep, but when I couldn't get to sleep in under 15 minutes I just pulled out and kept on keeping on... Had a big brekkie in Rockhampton and finally reached Gladdie at about 8.30am. Thank the Lord.

I didn't catch up on any sleep either as the next two days were spent celebrating Mump's 90th and catching up with all the relies from near and far and wide.

I'm OFF!

2008-11-25T05:04:00.000-08:00

You not going to see me around for a bit. I'm taking the kids to Gladstone this weekend for a family reunion - my Grandma is turning 90! And by the end of the year I think she is going to have about that many direct descendants! Fancy that hey. No wonder there's a population explosion when two people can be responsible for the churning out of another 90 in one lifetime. Ho-ly! Anyway it'll be awesome catching up with all the masses of cousins down there and seeing "Mumps" after all these years. Oh and from there we're heading to Gympie to visit with my mate Jenny and... get this bit... PICK UP MY T @B SAFARI CARAVAN WITH ADDED SOLAR PANELS, BIKE RACKS, AWNING, BATTERY PACK, BEER FRIDGE, PORTI-LOO.. Can you believe it!!! After being let down at the impossibility of buying them new here in Oz I posted a wanted add on Gumtree classifieds and last Thursday morning BILL (I love that guy) responded that he just advertised his 2006 as new model!!! I emailed him straight back and he called my mobile after answering the phone "IS THAT YOU BILL??? PLEASE BE BILL!!!!" We sorted out a deposit and WHAM BAM!! There you have it. He's towing it half way for me from Sydney and we're meeting in Gympie next THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! You gotta help me find a name for it and us in it. I'm thinking something along the lines of T @BANACLE, T @BTALITARIANS, something like that! Hee hee hee. I'm going to pinching myself for ages.

Man I really have to go to bed, but I have to tell you I went to a crankin' little send off for a couple of friends who have also bought themselves a camper and are setting off around Australia very shortly (you don't have to be grey to be a nomad). It was very cool to be socialising with some dudes my own age as opposed the generation Yers I'm usually surrounded with. We were fully kickin' old school - jamming on Talking Heads songs together and strumming out on a Eukele. Talking about the days of Docs and trench coats and using solutions of gelatine to make temporary dreadlocks, can't remember what else coz I got a bit wasted. (Bless Greg for dropping me off and taking the kids to bed).

That reminds me - I took Izzy out to the pub for a meal the other night. Think All Men Are Liars or Priscilla, full yobbo pub. But anyway we were choosing a couple songs on the, I think otherwise totally unused, Jukebox and we were getting each other all psyched out talking about how everyone in the whole place was going to judge us on that one song each so it'd better be something that fully depicted us as human beings.. blah blah blah, putting the pressure on, giving ourselves the giggles... I ended up choosing Split Endz "I see Red, I see Red, I see Red" coz I had my period, I was pretty happy with how that went down amongst all the blokey-blokes. He thought Linkin Park was a safe bet, it'd have to be typically youthful, in your face, edgy, whatever, he didn't know the exact song but took a gamble.. It ended up being that "No one know what it's like, to be a sad man..." He absolutely hated being responsible for every doleful, sappy, crappy, mournful moment. He sat there almost dying of shame, demanding seriously that I save him from a shameful death by pulling the jukebox out at the wall socket. I just sat there laughing at him, I nearly peed myself... he was groaning in agony, I was laughing my guts out...

Oh, great news, Lucky Duck's legacy lives on - yesterday morning the girl-duck (Caramello)'s clutch of eggs hatched, now we have a beautiful little gaggle of Lucky-Ducks in the garden. They are SO lovely!!

Did a dinosaur get you?

2008-11-16T19:25:00.000-08:00

Took a swim down the creek yesterday arve. God it was nice. It's just heavenly down there. A friend of Greg's came with us. He was riding his motorbike to work recently when a wallaby jumped out in front of him and he came a guttza big time on the bitumen. He's still got heaps of gravel rash all over his knees with scabs like an inch thick. Bubby took one look at him and asked "Did a dinosaur get you?". He reckons "Yep. Dorothy gave me a lovebite." Hee hee.

Stopped in at the block to check on my trees and met the neighbour on the other side. He's a chippie who's just started a shed on his block. He works over in Bali so isn't there too often. He didn't stop talking and seemed a bit cracked-on but otherwise a decent kinda bloke. It was good to meet him.

Greg was all set to sell his boats to finance the purchase of a little caravan for weekends away with the kids but the weather was perfect for fishing all weekend and with one look at the water I think he's changed his mind now.

Me and Mum rode our pushbikes to the beach on Saturday morning then hooked up with some school staff to have a walk through the bush to one of the bays and back. Then we had breakfast at one of the lady's 3 million dollar mansions overlooking the ocean and rode home again. I didn't apply any sunscreen as it was like 6.30am when we left home but I got so fried on the way home. First time I've had painful sunburn in a long while.

This blog must sound like a bit of a stuck record but we had another snake last night and this time Lucky-Duck wasn't so lucky :( The thing that sucks really bad is that the snake killed him and then discovered he was way too big to swallow and regurgitated him when he was only half way down. So it was all a big waste. Stupid snake's eyes where too big for it's stomach. It went and ate some eggs instead. Should of just done that in the first place!

That's Life.

2008-11-10T04:14:00.000-08:00

Oh man, I've been so hung up on these retro teardrop T@B campers only to find out that the original German manufacturers went into receivership and the one and only importers in Australia haven't taken advantage of the manufacturers in the US who have got the rights to the product and designs and are still churning them out, or maybe thought it best not to. But anyway bottom line is the last new T@B offroad camper was sold in Victoria a week ago and the boats kind of sailed without me. It so frustrating because all the info' and write-ups and adverts are all right there in my face and yet I can't get my hands on one!! It's freakn me out! If I lived in any other country I could buy one no worries.

Izzy's in his last few weeks of Primary School and I can't hardly believe it. Rumour has it that the local high school has taken a serious downward turn in the last couple of years as well and has all these behavioural issues going on. I've decided to send him to a private college with a much more solid reputation. I hope he gets use to all the religious imagery and ideologies because he's never really been exposed to any yet. I've been equipping him with nice passive words like Agnostic to replace his preferred descriptor Atheist. My one hesitation is the long drive twice a day, but he'll travel in a flashy air-conditioned coach and they put DVD's on too.

After giving Paul an earbashing about the fact that before he knows it his son is going to be grown into a man and he's going to look back and regret not being around all this time and it's time he started making some choices based on what's good for Izzy and basically stop being such and narcissistic tool-head, he decided to move back up here. Izzy dying to go live with his Dad for a while and Paul is willing to live on the other side of the village which will make Izzy route to his new school a fair bit shorter. Izzy only has to be away from home for a couple of hours before Anakin is saying "Okay, lets pick Brussy up now... time to go get Izzy...". It's going to be a bit of a change for us all!

The last couple of times I've seen Paul my interest in any of his viewpoints/experiences/stories were at an all time low. What he's doing and the satisfaction he gets from things couldn't be more far removed from mine. I just don't get someone who chooses to get up and move a million miles away from their one and only child, probably the only one he's ever going to get to chase some lame pipe dream and he needs for me to spell shit out for him. Friggin stupid. And when he's here for a day or two every six months or so, I'm either envious of the time he gets to spend with Izzy like he's on a bloody holiday, while I'm still stuck doing the daily grind for the kids thinking shit I wish I could have three days where I had absolutely nothing to do besides have fun with my kid/s. Or he sleeps in both days and then is glued to the computer uploading photos to Facebook or music to his MP3 player with his kid on the other side of the room watching tele probably counting down the hours til his Dad skips out again and I'm seething away thinking, how can you be so LAME?!! How can you not want to spend every precious moment right by his side???? And then it's made even worse by the fact that Izzy puts all these demands on me and lays all these trips on me and he'd never put that kind of shit on Paul.

After seeing John Lennon on TV the other night it made me so sad to think of him and every other little kid whose parents skip out on them and let them down. I couldn't stop crying all night. Every kid deserves a Dad like Greg. Anakin has got it made in the Dad department that's for sure.

Anakin is such a beautiful child. We were out picking lychees today and he says to me "Haven't seen you today Mum can I have a kiss?" And he pulled down on my clothes to get me closer for a big smoochy one. It was SO sweet. (But we were the only ones home all day.. together..)

Last night we had fish n chips at the jetty. Greg did some casting and threw a line in. Izzy couldn't stop taking as he'd spent a couple nights with his cousin and was filling me in on all the (exaggerated) details of their adventures together. I think he might have eaten too many jube ears and drank too much ginger beer at the corner store over the weekend and was a bit hyped. Anakin was giving me heartattacks. As any two year old on a jetty at night who can't swim will do I suppose. He needs a runner lead like a little dog so he can go up and down alongside the hand rails. Next time I'm taking his life jacket for sure.

What's rolling

2008-11-02T18:08:00.000-08:00

Broadband has finally arrived in this little household! "Hurray" wouldn't you say? Poor Greg had to spend ages in the roof shimmying around dropping down cables here and there. No small task for a guy his size. So here's some photo's I've been trying to put on for a while:
My two wise guys the night we caught the first snake. And RIP little Tielio, we loved you..briefly.

Horror heads:
Life around here has been nice and peaceful - except for Izzy going through these testosterone driven tanties about not being able to find his hair brush or a tea towel when he wants to drain his noodles (real crucial stuff like that).

You'll notice I've neglected my food and exercise journal for some time now. That's because I've decided I like morning teas with caramel slice and matchsticks. And my diet of sticky-rice and cheesy muffins.. After showing no improvement on the scales (I hate electric scales by the way) I've decided just to focus on the exercise side of the challenge and can at least say I have been proud of my consistency - walking and jogging with weights and pushing the stroller up and down the countryside and using the cross trainer often. It makes me feel a lot firmer - just not in the tummy area where I still have my baby flap (IT'S MY FLAP AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WITH IT!) And a mudguts that rivals Kimmy's...

I sometimes get the feeling things are becoming a bit sedentary and want to shake it up a bit with a move or a change. Me and Greg have been contemplating vacating the house and moving in some tenants while we rough it out at the block. Build a livable shed with one of these parked to the side that we can take to the mountains, national parks or beaches any weekend we like (check it out, how cool is it!! It's an off road on too!)

Oh man!! Getting one of these would be a dream come true! It would be a bit of a costly process. We'd need to put roller doors on the shed here to store a lot of our stuff in and spend a bit of money on the house so it's not falling apart for the tenants, finance the caravan and shed for the block etc.. But rent would cover our minimum repayments for both places and then we could slap on any extra we could as well as having a bit of a boho lifestyle on the side...perfect...

Carry on my wayward sons..

2008-10-30T04:39:00.000-07:00

In the car today I was listening to "Dig Lazarus, Dig" (Nick Cave's new album - I'm a fan). Anakin informed me from the back seat - "this guy is really, really shit", (not a fan). What a terror. Sadly everyone else in the family agrees with him.

When I was pushing him around the hills in his stroller this arve, he came out with another realization - "you've got boobies AND muscles". Yep, I'm pretty good.

If he hasn't seen Horton for a day or so he starts acting the story. He runs around chanting "We are here! We are here! We are here!" Then he races over to me with these huge eyes and asks "Where's Joe-Joe" and I have to go along.."He's at the old observatorium. Quick you've got to find him we need every Who in Who-town to be heard in the jungle of Newl!" And he darts off and brings imaginary Joe-Joe back to me in his stroller.. He's always heard singing "Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore.... (on an empty stomach) .."

Man, you wanna see the way my sister pampers Chris. I couldn't be anymore different. Nick takes care of his every hearts desire - lovingly fixing him every meal, massages his feet in front of the telle, groping him and pashing him every other spare second. This, however is a picture of me and Greg:

Greg: This chili sauce is really good! You should learn how to make it.
Me: YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO MAKE IT!!!!!
Greg: Well maybe I will.
Me: Good, coz that's the only way your ever gunna eat it..

Last couple of weeks of school have been pretty good. My new Science unit is "Fun with Food", so we've been making fruit skewers in assembly lines, and crunchy cornflake parfaits and cinnamon toast. They've loved it, but now consider it my role to teach them, encourage them, nurture them, keep them safe AND feed them every time I'm bloody there.

Izzy's doing alright. He's been doing sex ed' at school and coming home with stories of how he couldn't get over all the kids who didn't know what a scrotum or an erection was. I heard this week it was periods and masturbation. I'm just glad the Transformers gave me another name for that one, we call it "Sam's Happy Time" around here. He still thinks it's all sick. It's swimming this term which he hates and is not too great at. But I'm proud of him for going and not putting on too much of a turn.

Spent an unprecedented amount at the op-shop last Saturday. In amongst my bounty I scored a retro looking pair of tan pumps, so similar to a pair in the local boutique that I've been eyeing off for ages but for which they wanted $90. They look like the pair Brittany Spears is always getting photographed wearing. I bought a beautiful cornflower blue, cotton Ralph Lauren dress shirt for Greg that is so soft soft soft! He is totally hunky in it and just makes me want to tear it back off again. Oh and a cool floaty long green skirt and a top with a very unusual cut that matches it which is now my new favourite outfit that makes me feel uber cool.

Lucky Duck

2008-10-22T16:18:00.000-07:00

Been a bit of a struggle to know what to write lately - everything's either the same as usual or somewhat depressing and strange. We had the duck struggle to get over a paralysis tick bite, which it did thankfully, then last night Greg came in to report that it was dead - all wrapped up in another snake! (NOOO!!) Then he came back to say that it had miraculously escaped the jaws of death once again!! (YESSS!!!!!) He gave the snake a few slaps before going off to find his snake catching pole and came back to see that it had loosened off a bit and the duck waddling away!! Cat-duck.

Can't say our beautiful cockatiel had the same luck though. It died on Monday night after a couple of days of wind and rain knocked it around. I didn't realise how fragile it was otherwise I would've had a heat lamp on it at night and stuff. So sad. I bawled. That's the total of three cockatiels that have died in my care and it totally depresses me. (P.K. was stepped on and Smoochie was eaten by a goanna back in 2000, now poor Tielio.)

At least the budgies chattering merrily in the background is a reminder that I can keep some birds alive. Anyway...

Where is your mobile? In my bag with my lipgloss, wallet and sunnies. It's a beautiful gold and embossed limited edition Nokia that cost me a fortune but is practically useless as I'm always out of range and friends have to put up with my very delayed response to messages.

Where is your significant other? At work as a boilermaker at the sugar mill.

Your hair colour? Honey brown.

Your mother? At work. She dropped in with some curry for us on the way to linedancing last night and has arranged for us to meet at the local pub for a roast dinner after her linedancing class tonight. She loves us. And linedancing..

Your father? He dropped in on Tuesday (!!!!) He'd come down the beach to see my sister for her birthday. He was with his beautiful lady Di, who always finds $10 to give the kids. They were both a bit dusty and grimy as they came straight from work attending the golf greens and fairways about 50 k's away. They had a beer and we sent them home with some homemade nutloaf (from me) and a bottle of rum (from Greg). He's got this special signal he gives me invovling blowing kisses and thumping his chest where his heart is to say he loves me. He calls me Muskin.

Your favourite things? On a grand scale - my land and photo memories. On a smaller scale - my collection of Izzy's baby teeth (another one to add to the collection today!), my kids lego and duplo, my tweezers and concealer, our pushbikes, my two beautiful doona covers and my one built in wardrobe.

Your dream last night? Wouldn't have a clue. If my recent dreams are anything to go by, probably a dirty dream about Greg.

Your dream/goal? To have my house built.

The room you're in? The study/dining/lounge room - there's not that many room to choose from in this little house.

Your hobby? Op-shopping.

Your fear? Loosing a child or them loosing one of us before they can really cope with it. Speeding - car wrecks. CROCODILES. Thankfully not snakes.

Where do you want to be in 6 years? In our new home, happily paying off our mortgage without having to sell here. Hopefully experiencing more job satisfaction.

Where were you last night? Exhausted from a day of school, a stint on the cross-trainer and a walk around the hills. We ate reheated curry and veges. The thing with the duck. I gave Izzy a foot squeeze and put Anakin to bed after a bit of Horton, I must've fallen asleep with him because I can't remember anything else happening after that.

What your not? 50 kilos

One of your wishlist items? A campervan.

Where you grew up? At the end of a long dirt road in the bush.

What are you wearing? A cherry red boobtube and a pair of cotton, chocolate-brown drawstring pants.

Your TV? A newly aquired Sony Bravia that came with a free Playstation 3. Just put on Horton while Bubby eats his sandwich and so I can actually finish this.

Your Pets? One recently expired. Two chirpy budgies. two adventurous ducks, 5 hens and a rooster. Snoop-Dogg the black F2 labradoodle, who has been a pain in my arse ever since I bought him 4 years ago. (I'll never have another dog!)

You computer? A Dell. Bought a few years back when I was doing my fourth year prac'.

Your mood? Kinda slack.

Missing someone? Hayley and Crystal and Jenny.

Your car? White Ford Festiva, covered in bat shit and spew. Remind me not to park it under the lychee tree overnight!

Something you're not wearing? A shirt.

Favourite store? Earlville Quality Lifeline. (No guesses there.)

Your Summer? Dripping with sweat.

Love someone? Yeah, Brendan Flowers, from The Killers and Eddie Vedder.

Favourite colour? Lilac.

When is the last time you laughed? At Anakin with his knickers on his head.

When is the last time you cried? Monday night when my bird fell off my finger and I had to bury it in the garden :(

I tag Jenn at Learning to Walk in Stilettos

He Hearts Horton

2008-10-12T02:26:00.000-07:00

Well I've joined a few members of staff in trying to lose 5 kilo's over the term. Besides the trip to the all you can eat buffet last night (where me and Bubby shared a playground with Lisa McCune and her kids) and the fact that Nick visited the patisserie in Townsville and insisted on sharing around all these panniers and cream eclairs when she got back, I'm not doing too badly. I weighed in last Monday at 54.6kg, by Wednesday I snuck in another trip to the electronic scales and had gone up by most of a kilo, by Friday I had my period so I'm not really sure if I will have shifted any weight this week. I might start another blog with my food and exercise journal to keep me honest.

Bubby has fallen in love with the movie "Horton Hears a Who". He's been watching it every day for about 5 days! He goes around muttering "Come on guys, we're all mammals." and "Look at you. Yuk. Look at your face. And I bet you don't look so good with a stapler sticking into your head!" (I wish he hadn't have picked out that bit to repeat! For someone who generally loathes sitting through kids movies I think it's pretty cool myself.

Holiday Breakdown (A breakdown of our holiday)

2008-10-06T18:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow spells the end of my school holidays and looking back I accomplished most of what I set out to do: I was really keen on spending some time sewing and I ended up making Bubby a couple of pairs of really cute duddies, cutting the patterns out from a couple of pairs of linen pants of mine that I'd previously dyed. This time I added a little flare with contrasting cuffs and waistband. They turned out cool, considering my fairly limited ability. It was odd too - my sewing machine needle snapped on the very last stitch of the second pair. (Otherwise I would have felt as frustrated and ripped off as I did on Sunday when we got the footy time mixed up and missed half the bloody finals! I was totally ropeable!)

I also redrew the plans of the top floor of my house design. That turned out very enjoyable and I think very successful too - I'm heaps happier with it now. Now comes the super enjoyable task of scrapbooking all my favourite ideas from Better Homes and Gardens, Sanctuary and My Home mags. (I took one of those occupation ideas tests that schoolies do - all my answers reflected a desire to be in the 'creative' industries specifically architecture and interior design. I'd love to be a draftsperson at the moment - specially with school in the morning ;)

I decluttered Izzy's room and packed away a lot of toys for Anakin - making it a lot less of a kids room. And I set up our spare/folding laundry room as a lounge room for Anakin - shifting all his toys out of the actual lounge room. He LOVES it in there.

I did two Cairns missions alone with the kids and managed to order our vanity, bathtub and tiles for our upcoming bathroom reno'.

As well as having multiple school friends over for Iz, running him around a bit, advising him on the sensible way to spend his birthday money etc. Attending all the weekend markets and the Aquatic Festival... it was all very fun.

Mum has been cleaning up all my old home movies for me and burning them onto disk. It has been such a spin-out seeing Izzy at Anakin's age. They are SO alike!! They would have made the best little buddies cruising around together too. At the moment all Izzy can do is annoying things to make Anakin shriek "Mum!! Izzy's STIRIN" ME!!"

Unwanted Visitor

2008-10-03T17:33:00.000-07:00

Check out our dinner guest. We did have two roosters and since coming of age they have been fighting furiously with one proving to be the lessor opponent. As a fringe dweller he'd been sleeping in the carport instead of in the chook house with the others. This was his fate. (Okay just imagine a big snake swallowing a rooster..) Anyway it came back last night, we came home from Mum's just in time to see it making it's way to the chook shed! Greg and Izzy wrangled it into a big esky and relocated it in the national park. It was exciting!
I can't wait to be able to put some pix up but things aren't really working out for me today, technologically or otherwise.

Today has been one of those frustrating days where everything seems to be one step forward two steps back, you know the kind where you're trying to get all the louvers and screens cleaned with the help of a two year old who keeps hogging the hose and sprays straight into the kitchen window for a good few minutes while you're 'round the other side of the house, leaving a big mopping job to do as well. You've just caught the dog on the freshly washed throw rugs and then he shits himself on the freshly sprayed concrete while you're giving him a good flogging. The chickens are relentless and scratch up your garden and you rake all the mulch back in not once, not twice, but five freaking times. Your happy when the oldest child's new baby cockatiel discovers where it's seed bowl is finally, but then when it flaps around in there and sends it spreading all over the floor, you're only kinda happy. You fold a big pile of washing but there's another pile waiting for your in the drier and another one on the line... and some more in the dirty clothes basket... the washing up is endless. You got rid of one zit but you got three more. You finally get around to blogging but you can't upload the photos you want so your post really lacks the impact you desired and the autosave is playing up so there's probably another 30 minutes of your life you're never going to get back again.. sound familiar? (except for the dog part, I know..)

If

2008-09-24T01:52:00.000-07:00

If I didn't eat so much Deb Instant Mash Potato Powder when I was a kid, maybe I wouldn't have a stutter.

If I called Mum's Paul to ask him about my faulty computer like I intended, maybe he would have felt a bit more connected in the world and not gone off and poisoned himself on carbon monoxide fumes that night.

If I had of taken Careers Day a bit more seriously instead of jumping the fence and drinking cask wine down the creek maybe I wouldn't be such a late starter in the work force, maybe I would be a property mogul by now.

If it wasn't for the bus driver Jesse being willing to drive all us bush kids to the movies on a Friday night maybe I wouldn't have turned out to be such a great kisser.

If I didn't yank pillows out from underneath Gregs head maybe he wouldn't think I'm such a bitch.

If I didn't have unprotected sex those two times I wouldn't have two babies.

Still here

2008-09-23T06:32:00.000-07:00

Me and the kids are still in Cairns. The excitement for Bubby has been pretty intense. We've been to "muddy-mud skippers" where he went totally ecstatic - squirting dry mothers standing on the water fountains, chasing around seagulls, marveling at the awesome sea sculptures, spotting helicopters and so on. He called his dad on the mobile to share his enthusiasm over the pelicans he was checking out but having my two year old strutting around the boardwalk talking into a mobile was a bit too shame-job for me so I had to cut them off. And then back to the lagoon this evening. He's been on jumping castles and his favourite amusement rides. He checked out everything in the petshop with "Brussy". I made him eat a passionfruit and half an apple before we hit macca's for brekky this morning so he could play on the plastic fortress of joy. (Issy's rubbing off on me - everything he says is like "to the depths of the dooms of the underworld...") Bubs awake again, am I never going to have time to say everything I want??

Happy 12th B Day Izzy!

2008-09-21T06:20:00.000-07:00

He started out the school holidays by loosing another tooth! Before he went to bed tonight I reminded him that he'd better go brush the remaining 5 or so that he's got left. He's reckons he's over having birthday parties so he had a great day spent flying kites at the beach, hanging out at the markets, eating watermelon at the creek... all those things that make a childhood good and wholesome. I bought him a beautiful bronze coloured, art deco looking dome-shaped birdcage that stands taller than me with a couple of gorgeous budgies in it. (Man they have been making the happiest little chirpy sounds all day long, we've been spoiling them rotten with sprays of millet, chopped-up snowpeas, paw-paw and strawberries, the best budgie-treat-sticks money can buy, calcium and iodine perches, and we've woven all this foliage from the bottlebrush trees and fruit trees through the bars in their cage. They're livin' it up!) And "The Encyclopedia of Marvel Superheroes". Greg bought him another controller for the PS3 and his dad got him Guitar Hero. He also has accumulated a large wod of cash from the relies to spend in Cairns when we head up there tomorrow.

Actually we've had a nice start to the holidays. Yesterday I took the kids for a look at the animals and stuff at the stockfeed place, followed by a visit to the library and a trip to the cafe for iced chocolates and chips and gravy. Then I took the kids home via The Block (grass is getting long again), stopped at the creek for a play (where I nearly knocked myself out with the end of the rope swing) and then went to "fish-n-chip night" at the CoastGuard for tea. (Anakin uses this fully bunged-on Aussie voice to ask "Goin' d fish n chip nIGHT!?" He says it all the time. 'Cept fish-n-chip night's only on about once a month. So then he asks "Goin' to the BISTRO!?"

Will keep going with this when I can but Bub's woken up and Greg's bugging me that it's my bedtime.

NooooOOOO!

2008-09-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

Well Greg's gone off to some Marlins Basketball reunion thingy and won't be back 'til tomorrow arve, I gave him grief before he left and in my defence told him I had underlying abandonment issues. His retort was that they weren't exactly UNDERLYING - that they were pretty much right there at the SURFACE! Fair enough - I think I'm turning into one of my bratty Grade Three-ers, instead of my obvious maturity and zen-likeness (I wish) rubbing off onto them.

I've got this one troublemaker who the other kids are always dobbing in for various reasons, whether it be hiding things that don't belong to him in his desk, being rough, calling names, saying inappropriate things in the toilet, rubbing his skin condition onto other people.. he always acts completely offended with this horrified look on his face and then he goes "NooooOOOOO!" I've started doing it too (not the other things just the "NoooooOOOOO!" - it's like a knee-jerk response.)

I've learnt to use Anakins enjoyment of role-playing to my advantage. "Baby Kira" is a breeze to take to the shops, not like Anakin himself. He asks to be put in the baby capsule trolley and then he just lies there all limp an agog. It's awesome. When he's being all squirmy and I'm trying to get his nappy on I just suggest he be a dead wallaby and he lies there all limp and staring into space again! He saw a wallaby getting hit by a car out the front of our place a while ago, Greg had to drag it off the road and ring the council to collect it (what a job), there's always dead wallabies on the side of the road around here so it's not that I'm sick or anything - it's one of the things he likes to pretend being a wallaby that's "deadybones" and needs to be dragged off into the bush. I'm just glad he takes it so well, when Izzy found out about death and dying he almost needed a child psychiatrist.

Izzy's set up camp outside - he's got a mattress inside the tent and the big camping mat spread out in a prime spot with all his necessities, he's been bathing in the wheelbarrow, doing some gardening and getting all in tune with nature. He was suppose to sleep out there tonight but he's doing the complete opposite - he's in his Mum's bed with Anakin! He's squeezing in with us tonight.

I'm sending out the vibe to the universe to make a choice campervan come my way. So far today I had a Toyota Hiace Hightop park in front of me with a for sale sign on it - I chatted with the owners. Latter I rang up a guy who had a Nissan Family Campervan advertised for real cheap in an old Exchange just coz I was bored and waiting for Anakin to finish on the potty (he spends like 20 minutes there 3 times a day reading books, pretending he's canooing etc. He LOVES it!) Anyway this guy had sold it but had a Toyota Coaster for sale, I told him it wasn't suitable for us as it only had 2 seatbelts and there's 4 of us and I'm not really interested in anything with a shower and toilet because I reckon it takes up too much room, I just like the real simple uncluttered layout blah blah blah, anyway he asked if I was in any hurry and I said no, I'd been looking on and off for like a couple of years. So he's got this mate who's going to be selling his in a month or two - 4 seats etc, sounds like what I want and he's going to give me a call as soon as it becomes available. Something to look forward to. Sounds like he's going to have a reasonable price on it too, some people try to ask SO MUCH for Coasters, it's an '84 model so I just hope it's already got a reconditioned motor.

"We're like.."

2008-09-01T05:46:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously lacking sleep. Bedtime Saturday was like 3am Sunday morning (think of me in the company of lots of very cool chicks, and one hen, at the nicest place cut into a mountainside with a beautiful view, indulging in an afternoon of pampering, sharing a delicious meal, switching on the fairy lights and lighting a mass of candles and a bonfire come night time, cranking up the amp, snapping the glow sticks and hopefully not making a big flattened mess of John's lawn by using it as a dance floor to carve up. Sharing precious stories about one another and exchanging words of wisdom. Wouldn't I like to do that on a more regular basis! How cool!)

Sunday morning I got to sleep in a tiny bit and then greeted the day with a big pint sized jug of water with some aspirins fizzing in it. Took myself and the boys down the markets for a supersized pancake with fruit salad and icecream, then we went for a drive out to Dad's. Mucked around there for a bit. Took the kids for a walk to feed my Uncle's horses then went for a look down the creek. As is usual these days Anakin was doing his impersonation of a platypus only this time he didn't have to imagine his natural surroundings he was actually in them. He went straight in for a swim. Crazy kid, it was bloody freezing. Greg and Izzy schemed ways we could move out there for a while. I'll be right - it's at the end of a long and corrugated dirt road.

On the way home we stopped in at some people's place who have a horse for sale. It's 18 years old though and I reckon about to die, no wonder they want to sell it. I had a bit of a ride around on it bareback and was still feeling like jelly from the adrenalin most of the way home, I realised I'm shit scared of riding horses and in no position to be in charge of one. It went okay, it's just that every other time I've ever been on a horse they've bucked, bolted or tried to scrape me off onto something. Then I had my delicate foot bones broken when I was stood on once and one of my old friends needed reconstructive surgery when she was kicked in the face. Not the best track record. I think I'll just stick to riding my bike.

Other remarkable points of the weekend include me weighing myself to find that I'm 6!! kilo's too heavy, need to cut back on the tuna chili pasta I make with a bucket load of cream, the yummy black forest cake I've just learnt how to make, the curry I make with a bucket load of coconut cream, (actually the main ingredient of most things I make is cream!), the best sticky rice in the world, sour cream and onion thinly cut chips... but it's all too good and I don't really think I can cut back on any of it... Man, there was this chick at the party though, she had the most gorgeous figure, made me feel inspired to get stuck in and do something about this body of mine, I remind myself of a little overweight pygmy.

Nicholas came over for a marathon of Soul Caliber with Izzy and disturbed us by choosing all the female characters to fight with so he could knock off their layers of armour and perv on their scantily clad (very ample) breasts (And I let Izzy spend all his pocket money on this game (!). I'm like "Nicholas they're ANIMATIONS, they're NOT REAL!" He's like "So. Neither are Pamela Anderson's." ?! (Do I sound like Kylie Mole? "And I'm like... and he's like".)

Oh yeah and Nick found out she was preggas so Anakin is going to get that double cousin I anticipated.

Contrary

2008-08-24T01:24:00.000-07:00

Chased down a lady in her Toyota Coaster this arve to see if it happened to be for sale or if it ever would be (every time I see it driving by I start drooling). She reckons "No. Never ever. It's my home!". Can't help but try..

I missed out on a Clydesdale this weekend too, that was suppose to be perfect for a nervous rider or beginner (that wouldd be me). Sad face.

I know my two fixations don't really go together. A motorhome for taking trips and a big pet beast that needs attention daily.

Ka-Ching

2008-08-22T04:55:00.000-07:00

Just worked three days in a row for the first time in a couple of years. Had Thursday and Friday with a couple of different year 3 classes and they were such a pleasant breeze compared with the mob I take regularly. I swear I have the rattiest kids in the district along with the dingiest, cramped classroom and there's just no way to cheer it up. Just having a bright, spacious classroom makes the world of difference, and then getting paid double time to teach these angel children was almost a crime. Hopefully I'll be getting a contract there next year. (If I can keep Greg from planting his demon seeds.. jokes). It was the kids regular teacher's birthday today (she took the day off to have an 18 week pregnancy scan which I reckon is a pretty cool way to spend your birthday) so we made a bright and oversized card for her filled with lots of colourful birthday wishes from them all. They were pretty impressed with the way it turned out. She's gonna love it.

Whenever I tell Bubby he'll have to spend the day with Auntie Nick - that I have to go to work he goes "Nuh. Auntie Nick work. Mummy stay home with me". But he has fun-filled days with his Auntie and I don't think he really minds too much.

I took him to down to the daycare to check it out the other day. He thought it was pretty all right. I might have to book him in for a day a week next year in case Nick bails out on me. I'd be more reluctant but the daycare is practically attached to the school! We'd be a minute away from each other!

Izzy got his Senior T-Shirt today with all the year 7's names on the back. The admin' lady was telling me she allowed him to put his name down as "Izzy" - his nickname but that she wouldn't let him drop my name off his hyphenated surname like he wanted to. Hmphff! Little bugger!! Favouring the absent father yet again! Speaking of Paul, I let him know how I felt about Izzy moving away from here so he's agreed to settle down close by so we can all see each other everyday. Woot! Woot! Mum was saying "it's got to be about what Paul wants too" and I'm like "Bullshit! He's done exactly what he's wanted for the past how long??!! Now it needs to be about what's good for Izzy before he grows up and doesn't particularly need his dad around anyway!"

We were suppose to go camping for Greg's birthday this weekend but the weathers turned bad. So I suppose it'll be a weekend of housework and mowing and the PS3 has arrived in the mail so probably some gaming marathons too. (Not me!)

We bought Greg lots of clothes (thanks for the perseverance Tiff!) and a huge woven camping mat. Today I found him a magazine called "Sanctuary" - all about environmental homes and sustainable living. Great reading - I wanna back order the previous issues too... mmmm might go finish it off... did I say it was Greg's mag?

Anakin's Personas

2008-08-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

I wanted to mention that we MOWED the block last weekend. It's only ever been slashed before so it was a bit rugged and fairly slow-going but the end result was pretty fantastic I thought (if a dusty hill is your kinda thing). Dad and his lady Di met us out there with their Lawn King so we had two ride on's going for over two hours to get the job done. I had dust on my teeth and grass right down in my knickers but it was a bloody good thing all the same.

Anakin has been right into role-playing for ages. He two most favourite "personalities" are "Baby Kira" which he usually plays after his warm bath - he makes us wrap him up tight in a towel and we have to pass him around all gushing over him and remarking what a beautiful little newborn baby he is. He won't talk when he's being Kira - just looks around all wide-eyed and serene. It's nice to actually nurse him like a proper baby coz when he was tiny we'd try and lie him back in our arms like most babies are held and he'd do stomach crunches to try to get upright. Anyway maybe he thinks if he pretends he's Baby Kira he can go on having Titty as long he likes, considering I've been letting him know that he can't go on having it forever, that he's getting to be a bit too old now.

His other favourite is "Frisky" the puppy dog, when he can get away with licking everybody. He pants and scratches and runs from one of us to the other, all hyper, he burrows his nose down into things looking for lizards and toads. And we pat his tummy and give his bum a good scratch. (Or the other way 'round I should say.)

He spends most of the time being someone else and if you call him by his name he'll correct you going "No. Luke! The Coconut Man." (Luke is a friend of ours who is always dropping in green coconuts.) Then he pretends to chop open a coconut for you and you have to pretend to drink it up.

He's also in the habit of riding to the shops on his bike with his pockets full of money. We all put our order in and he goes and picks up the fish burgers with pineapple and mayo' and the vanilla milkshakes....

Speaking of food, Greg worries about Anakin not eating enough. But it's just that he eats massive amounts of breakfast (huge bowls full of mulberries, cherries, toast, wheatbix, nuts, black sapote smoothies...), then goes fairly hard at lunchtime (crumbed fish, tuna and crackers, peanut butter sandwhiches, noodles...), then he kinda tapers off by dinnertime when Greg is home, opting for things like toothpaste and lipgloss rather than fettucine or vege curry?? If Greg contemplated the whopping Jabba the Hut poos Bubby leaves behind in the potty, I don't reckon he'd concern himself again.

Just call me Girl Interrupted, I think I'll have to settle for lots of shorts posts..

Absent note

2008-08-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

I'm having a hard time keeping up in here. I have a tendency to open up a dozen other windows and get preoccupied googling "gonks" to see if they look like I remember them, replying to emails, checking out Facebook and of course keeping up to date with favourite blogs. Then the toilet is beckoning to be scrubbed the washing machine is bleating away, the car needs packing and unpacking, the floor needs vaccing... you know how it is.

I've also been thinking about buying a horse, and being what my cousin calls "horse clueless" I've been spending a fair bit of time looking into all this horsey stuff. I really would love a Gypsy Cob - but they are way expensive still so am looking for a really quiet breed like a Clydesdale, maybe crossed with a Quarter Horse, probably an older horse that's been used for trail rides or used with a sulky - a really passive, gently one. This fella here was going to be perfect, but I missed out on him.

Gotta get moving, have to organise the kids for a birthday party down the beach. Be back to finish this post later.

My real Babies

2008-08-07T20:25:00.000-07:00

Well, after their last teary farewell Izzy's dad, Paul, has decided he's moving back up this way towards the end of the year and Izzy has decided he wants to live with him. I know it's about time Paul did some actual parenting but I'm pretty worried about the prospect. I don't think he's had much practice at thinking of anyone elses needs but his own. Izzy's never been left waiting, lost, injured, he's never gone to school without enough lunch to feed about three kids, he's used to saying "What's cookin' Mumoola?" and having a good dinner at night. I've known Paul to cook... twice! I know he'll try his best - I just hope he has it in him!! It'll mean a big heap of changes for Iz - he's going into high school next year, which is enough of a change in itself, but moving in with Paul means that he'll more than likely be going to a different high school - where he'll only know one other student - a girl, three grades above him! So he'll be going to high school as a "new kid", without his Mum around to help him get himself organised (he needs help too, a result of all the over pampering I've done through the years. If Greg hadn't of come along I'd still be doing up his laces and pulling his clothes on for him). Anyway I suppose I'll put off stressing out over it until when it actually happens. In the meantime there's an info night I'll have to attend, lets hope it's better than the options around here.

Anakin's acting deaf at the moment and then when he does realise what I'm saying he disagrees with me. It's like this:
Me "There's usually a horse in that paddock over there but he's not there today."
Anakin "What?"
Me "There's usually a horse over there behind that fence, but I don't see him now."
Anakin "What Mum?"
ME "I usually see a horse in that paddock but they must have shifted him because he's not there anymore"
Anakin "What?"
Me "The horse, he's usually over there."
Anakin "No he's not."

We just got back from a drive into town to share a piece of crumbed fish and drop my wobbly tyre in at the bike slash toy shop. The last time I was in there I bought Anakin a little cheapie stroller for his doll "Bockie" - it was the best $14 I ever spent, he loves pushing around his babydoll. Except his doll is pretty lifelike and the last time we went to the markets, there were trails of gasping people all around us, hanging onto one another and talking behind hands. Dead set they thought the doll was real and here he is half falling out of the stroller and me swinging it up over my shoulder when Anakin had had enough pushing. I few times I'd stop to talk to marketeers and I'd say "Yeah some oldies over there thought it was real and told me I nearly gave them a heart attack" and they'd be like "Oh My God! That's what we thought, we were about to ring the police!"

Randoms

2008-08-02T05:25:00.000-07:00

I have been tagged by Elemental at "Follow the Gleam" (see my bloglist) to list 7 random things about myself. The rules are that you:
List the 7 random things.
List the set of rules.
Link to the person that nominated you.
Also let that person know when you have written your 7 Random things list.
Tag 7 other people to play.
And leave comments at those 7 people blogs to say that you have tagged them.

I can't do quite a few of those things right now coz every time I try to visit peoples blogs at the moment my computer gives me drastic messages. But here's what I can do:

Seven Random Things About Me
1. I buy Lego for the kids, but it's really for me.
2. At an all-you-can-eat-buffet I start eating from my plate before I even make it back to the table.
3. If I'm buying undergarments that come in twos, I take them off the hangers and swap the colours round to suit myself.
4. I love drinking a whole glassful of passionfruit.
5. People often associate me with the smell of patchouli oil, but these days I only ever wear Lolita Lempika.
6. I can be pretty indecisive - I always ask cafe and bar staff to recommend something.
7. Back in the late 80's I overkilled The Doors so bad. Nowadays I'm guilty of thinking anyone with a Jim Morrison shirt on is majorly lame.

Hey that gives me a question: Do you still have shirts of your favourite bands/singers etc? (Not-Goth I know you have some of those grunge T-shirts somewhere in the closet) At the moment I have a shirt with Johnny Cash giving the finger and a Countdown T-shirt. I really wanted the AC/DC one "For Those About To Rock" but mainly coz it looked so soft and comfy, but $29 seems like a rip-off when you're an op-shopper.

I tag the adventurous Jenn (Learning to Walk in Stilettos), the infamous RJ Keller (Ingenious Title to Appear Here Later), the inspirational Ruth (Mary and Bob's Journal) the tenderhearted Not Goth - now that you've got those center pieces sorted, the miracle making Kim (City Chick Living in the Sticks), the passionate Mel (The Things I'd Tell You) the one and only Vanilla (Once Upon a Dream), the peace seeking Shel (Wanna Be Hippy). The roaming Whiney, the Transplanted and anyone else please - I know I can't count but I don't know who comes here much so I figure the more people I tag the more chance 7 of you might respond!

Ridin'

2008-07-31T21:07:00.000-07:00

Greg's been using describing words like "scintillating" when referring to me lately.(Talk about brag!) I didn't realise he knew irregular words like that ;P We came excruciatingly close to being sprung by Mum the other night! She always appears at the front door late at night after her dancing, seemingly out-of-nowhere. Fancy your climax being met with the recognition that your mother-in-law is spit seconds away from joining you in the room! We didn't get away with it completely, she was straight up "Did I catch you with your pants down?" Poor Greg was hilarious bouncing his way to the laundry with his pants caught up around his ankles. I was trying to have a serious conversation with her about school-related stuff and kept having to bury my head into the throw rug and laugh at the thought of him, and my embarrassment and the fact that it could have been so, so much worse.

He keeps bringing up another baby. I don't know if I've got enough patience for three! I'm not real good with chaos - I need my peaceful alone time desperately or I feel like I'm doing my head in. Although friends have got this most mellowed out, adorable little cup-cake-of-a-girl, I could handle on of those!

I just went for a pushbike ride with Mum. 46 k's this time! The last bit was gruelling coz I'd stopped at the servo and with the dicky valve I've got in the back tyre I didn't realise I over-inflated it and had to ride half the way home with a hugely warped, misshapen tyre knocking into the bike frame. We went all the back roads the 23k's to my block, where we stopped for a drink of water and a wander 'round. Mum reckons I can probably stop paying for slashing and start hitting it with the ride-on now. (I always consult her for all things yard and lawn related.) Then we rode about another half hour into town for lunch at the coffee-shop. Then about an hour home! I've got a sore bum don't worry.

Showtime

2008-07-28T17:54:00.000-07:00

Yum! I made the yummiest roast vegies last night - took them out at the last minute for a sprinkle of roast vege seasoning, soy sauce and Parmesan cheese - mmmm. Not to mention the steamed potato's I mixed with olive oil, feta cheese, semi dried tomatoes, parsley and Celtic sea salt, and the yummy corn cobs from Rusties and the marinated, crispy, fatty, tasty roast chicken pieces. I just ate some left overs, mmmmm, that was after two pieces of finnan bread with avocado and tomato.... Can't see myself shifting any weight any time soon eating like this!

Cool. Grand Designs is on. I love this show.

Amazingly the weather stayed beautiful for the show on Friday. We met Mum there so checked out the pavilion and all the school displays first. Bub was big enough for the little kids' rides this year. I made myself sick going on the teacups with him (I'm bad with motion sickness and the carnie lady was spinning us around heaps in these tight little circles. Blurgh!).
And he was happy as Larry sitting in the engine of the little blue train.
He won a ball-gun scooping up ducks with Greg.
Izzy wasn't in the mood for rides (his two cousins were dressed like emo's with heavy eye makeup and painted-on teadrops so he was doing his best to disassociate himself from them and just stayed hanging-out with us) so that saved me a bit of money. We stopped for dinner under the pavilion and ate good chicken curry and drank tea courtesy of the Girl Guides or Rotary or some organisation I'm grateful to for supplying us with real plates and cups and cutlery.
Then backed dinner up with some good carnie food - waffles and mock-cream. We rode the Ferris wheel, checked out all the chookies,
watched the fire works, and it was hard to do all this without stopping every 5 meters to talk to people!

With a block of chocolate fudge and some honeycomb in easy reach on the dashboard we made the drive to Cairns after the show. Greg's parents where up over the weekend so we caught up with them at the family home. But Greg's ulterior motive for the trip was to buy an LCD flat screen - Sony was giving away 35,000 Playstation 3's and we registered our purchase when they were down to like 6! (Thousand - phew!) He makes these grossly expensive purchases and I'm just happy picking up a few bargains at the op-shop. Which I did, of course. Got to visit the park without throwing up in it. And have a cuppa and a Ferraro rocher at my gf's brand new place. All these small things make me happy.

My Baby's 2!

2008-07-22T04:18:00.000-07:00

I was called in to work Friday so party preparations where taking place deep into the night. Check out the front cover of this month's Better Homes and Gardens mag' to see Bubby's birthday cake - and here's me with only one round cake tin having to cook each of the three layers one after the other!

Anakin was so keen for his birthday to come around. Every night for ages we've been talking about it and he listened entranced as we listed who'd be here and the food we were planning... As soon as there was a pause he'd be saying "What else Mum? What else?" "There'll be balloons and party decorations" "What else?" "You'll have a cake and we'll sing happy birthday and you'll get to blow out your candles.." "What else?"..

So when the day finally arrived he was in such a happy delirium. I barely saw him once the party started, he made the perfect host mingling from crowd to crowd. It was a beautiful day. Heaps of lovely people, heaps of delectible food (my fruit skewers where an art form),
kids running around everywhere, the weather stayed good and Anakin had such a memorable day. Sunday he was sitting up on the bank of the garden and I could see him looking around and remembering all the fun and busyness of the previous day, he started clapping and saying "Hurray for the party! Yay!" Could you want anymore thanks than that? So I'm pretty sure he had a good time, and all of his 50 odd guests too.

Sunday made for a perfect day as well with a trip to the markets. We didn't really need anything but headed down for a leisurely breakfast of thai curry, taro chips and the best sticky rice I have ever eaten. Bubby had a bounce on the jumping castle a run around on the beach and a play in the park. I bought a cool beret and a felt one for Izzy like the guy's from Myth Busters. He's into hats - like me. I realised we were missing Anakin's favourite present when we were packing up the car to take off home and had to backtrack my way asking all the marketeers if they had noticed a toy oxy-torch anywhere. I was about to give up when I heard "Yoo-hoo. Is this what you're looking for?"

Our family relations are back on track again and I'm feeling much better after several successive days of us all getting on fine. It just takes some focus sometimes with a bunch of personalities like ours living together.

Man I've been trying to finish this post for like three or four days now. I'm just going to end it here and mas later.

Clever - Less.

2008-07-16T05:06:00.000-07:00

Wednesday at work is out of the way, (4 out of the 6 naughty ones where away today - we did experiments on surface tension for science, aerobics for daily fitness, used "paint" in the computer lab to airbrush pictures of fruit and veg' and other healthy food choices, figured masses of double digit subtractions... all without so much as an interruption. If only it was like that every week.) so now it's time to ramp up the party preparations. I want to make all sorts of food, that kind of has to be left to the last minute though. I've planned activities, with jumbo chalk, squirty bottles, bubble blowing, duplo in the tent, play doh, dressing up, face painting, Izzy's going to staple lollies to an old shirt and have the kids chase him around, then we've got the tramp' and the sandpit etc. I think I've invited too many people and if it rains (like it has been for the last four days I'm totally focaccia-ed!

I think my milk supply has pretty much dried up. Bub goes from one to the other going "Nat ones not workin', other one Mum. Nuh, that ones broken, other one.." I'm like "I've only got TWO!" Then he laughs and counts on his fingers "One, two, eight.."

I'm totally pissed off at Greg. I want to call him all sorts of names right now, all the worst ones. I fkn hate him sometimes. Izzy's been fighting back tears all afternoon, ever since we dropped his Dad off, not to be seen for another friggin' eternity probably, so I asked Greg to show some sensitivity and not to say anything mean to him (friggin' common occurrence.. GRRRUHGH), or upset him further, explaining that he was feeling pretty fragile (he's so neandathal I had to explain to him WHY he was upset when Greg KNEW we'd just gone down to drop Paul off at the bus station, idiot.) Within the hour he tore into Izzy about not feeding the chickens, when I'd only just reminded him myself that he has responsibilities around the place, especially for the animals. But Greg got totally stupid about it raising his voice and carrying on like a toolhead with this totally weird angle, "Whose idea was it to get those ducks Izzy. And who paid for those chickens hey?" ??? WTF!! We all know that we ALL wanted some poultry. And Izzy looks after them in one way or another every bloody day - sometimes he just needs reminding. He was a total arsehole about it and had Izzy bawling in about 1 minute, shouting "I hate you Greg!! I wanna go and live with my Dad!!!". Just the very thing I asked him to help me avoid. Prick. I've always had issues with the way he interacts with Izzy, and he's so wonderful with Anakin that it further highlights what a c*nt he can be to Iz. It's hard to be the Mum of two kids with different fathers. The shit I've got to put up with..

I was getting a bit clucky too (totally out of character for me) with all the talk of dressing up little girls and stuff. Well he sure put a stop to that feeling!

Soul Kitchen or a Ramsey Nightmare

2008-07-14T05:40:00.000-07:00

Izzy's lost two more teeth! That makes it a total of four during these school holidays. Meanwhile he's in Grade 7 and has only got 8 adult teeth so it's been on the cards.

I'm sitting here in the dark, everyone else has gone to sleep - Izzy has his Dad bunking down in his room and his Nana camping in the lounge. Yesterday we had his two Aunties come down from Cairns with their families so along with all the other relies we've seen these holidays it's been non-stop around here - especially in the kitchen. I've had days where it seems like I went directly from cleaning up the dishes from the big pancake breakfast (I really do feed everyone pancakes) to launching straight into another big bake-up while taking mental notes on what needs to be bought for dinner! I'd been so busy with other catering demands that it took me three days to finally get around to making myself a birthday cake. Anakin got some practise in and helped me blow out the candles and he sang Happy Birthday so beautifully and sincerely (and has sung it to me every day since) where as the other clowns (Greg and Paul and Izzy) were so dud I made them sing it twice more and it still didn't get any better!

There's been times when I've been "Get out! Kitchen's closed! But with Anakin's birthday this weekend the madness is going to continue. Let's hope I have the stamina!

Pupil Free Day today. The fact that I enjoy my job more when the kids aren't actually there makes me think I'm going to need a career change in the future, that maybe I got into the wrong field. Doh! A really well paying one where I can dress-up and look all glam. Something creative but not too stressful. Any ideas for me coz I don't have any?

Auntie Bec brought down her hairdressing kit with her yesterday and gave me this sweetest little bob, it's not concave, has basically no layering, just this cute Chicago 'do. She was so thorough. It's the best cut I've had for ever. Yay!! My new stylist is in the family!! Next time I might book in for some colour!

Did some work out at the block on the weekend. I was so happy to be out there raking and whipper-snipping in the midday sun. When Greg and Bubby came to pick me up we walked to the creek together (5 minutes!) and Bub got in for a swim! It was SO stingin' cold his little naked body went red like it'd been slapped all over. It was priceless though - watching his enthusiasm and enjoyment. Then again, he's like that mainly every day!

Greg took the kids out on the boat yesterday morning and all I've been hearing about is this massive crocodile they saw. In Anakin's words "HUGE!!" All the talk about it gave me a bad dream :( Anyone want to trade a deadly caravan for a 16ft V-bottom?

Sunday

2008-07-09T03:39:00.000-07:00

That was MY name! I'm really dirty on her for using it too. My sister is talking baby names already and I reaffirmed yet again that "Sunday" would be my little girl's name (hypothetically) about 4 hours before I heard the news break. God! How would ya be?

It's my birthday today! Greg bought me a new Victa Pushmower! I was stoked (I was dropping hints a while back, it's a funny thing to want for your birthday I suppose). But it was cool coz I was wandering around the yard with Bub looking at the skinny little abiu tree struggling to compete with the grass, thinking to myself, if I only had a mower with a catcher I could mulch all around it with clippings and it'd grow heaps better. I followed Anakin up to the shed directly and caught sight of my birthday present BAM! the exact same thing I'd been thinking of! (Greg leaves too early for work and I didn't get to bed 'til 3.30am after picking Izzy's Dad up from the airport and driving home so we were all fast asleep when he left for work... Well mostly.. I do remember him whispering affectionate things to me and giving me a nice back rub at some stage there.)

Mum bought me a very cool rug for the lounge room with a huge peacock feather motif on it. And I also got to spend up big at the op-shop yesterday with lots of birthday money from the rest of the family. I scored big time - pants mainly - a pair of Bubblegum, Just Jeans, Portmans and Crossroads, ALL with their tags still on! Some cool tops too. My 15 year old cousin is visiting from Brissie - I'm going to have to go through my clothes a little bit more severely than last time and see if I have some choice items for her.

Anyway I'm missing out on that spunk from Ong Bak, I'm off to join the couch dwellers.

Party-Days

2008-07-05T10:18:00.001-07:00

It's 3 o'clock in the morning, one of those times where the quiet time in my own (little) head space is worth trading in for sleep. We just concluded yet another splendid Saturday in the tropics - spent it out at Dad's having a barbecue for all of us Cancerians in the family (my Nana, my Uncle Barry and me). It was also a bit of an introduction for Chris who hasn't met some of the relies yet so I had to endure yet another barrage of comments on how our two guys could be mistaken for each other which I received by crossing my eyes and poking my tongue out to the side. Mature hey?

I made a huge batch of energy slice (have to post the recipe one day for you), a massive banana cake with fresh whipped cream and a mammoth tuna salad.

It was fun cruising all through the yard with Bubby, checking out the huge golden orb weaving spiders and taste testing things off trees. Different parts of the family (my dad, my brother, his dad and my uncle on Mum's side) own land right at the end of this dirt road backing onto forestry and world heritage rainforest, so Izzy and his cousins basically just free-range all over the place out there - they love it.

Izzy and all my sisters family stayed out there but me and Greg and Bubby headed off to the Coastguard for "fish n chip night" with Mum and one of her many, many sisters Maree, who is visiting with two of her three kids. So it was a big family day all round and tomorrow will be the same except I'll start off with Mums family at the markets and finish it off out at Dad's place. Divorced parents ... geez, I have to do so much running around.

I started thinking about plans for Anakin's birthday party, that's why I can't sleep. (That and the fact that Greg and Anakin were squashing me out of bed.) I'm trying to think of a concise way of saying "No presents please but a plate of snacks to share will be warmly received." The recipients of invites will be like - new born babies, one year olds, two year olds.. so inevitably the whole family might come along, I've never under catered in my life, but just in case I thought inviting people to bring a share plate would rule out the possibility, coz it's hard to guess numbers sometimes. What do you think?

Bubby often speaks in sentences now: "Mum's freaking-out Dad" (He kept leading me down onto the sand at the coastguard and I was worried about crocs'!) "Party-day at Poppy's, coming Izzy?"

Spel chacks nott werking..

2008-06-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

Saturday was good. We helped celebrate our little mates 10th birthday at the Centenary Lakes in Cairns (and my only trip to the shops was to buy him a prezzie!) and then we headed up to Wongetti Beach, stocked up with good food from Rusties Markets, to visit my good old mates Mick and Karen, our biker friends, who I love to bits. On the way up the coast we did a little nostalgic drive-by past the townhouse where I use to live with Izzy all those years I was at Uni. I loved that place so much, it was perfect for us at the time. We had great neighbours and friends, we were one street away from the beach, our rent was really reasonable and didn't increase the entire time we were there. Karen was my walking buddy and we'd yack, yack, yack all the way around the streets of Trinity Beach.

They had some other friends 'round too, so we met some lovely people. We had a great night cooking up a barbie, having a jam and a sing-song and catching up on news. There was one chick there who has worked at the Croc' Farm for about 15 years and she had some hilarious stories about dressing up in a kangaroo suit and trying to do the croc feeding shows without being mistaken for the croc' food. She cracked me up.

But Sunday was shit. I think I dropped the 2 kilo's I've put back on recently, spewing my guts up after a few too many of Greg's moonshines. (Charming hey?) Man, what a miserable waste of a good Sunday. I woke up Okay, probably still a little drunk from all the frangelica and lime juice but then I became steadily worse. The cheesy smell of the empty chip packet I spewed into, on the drive back into the city helped matters along, as did the 7 or 8 massive round-abouts we had to drive through. Later I drowned a bug in my vomit as I watched the kids in the park, it was on it's back kicking away with it's legs in the air, scorching in bile, I spat on it for good measure and because I'm all class. Then I had to endure the 2 hour drive home sick as a dog, but once home, the rapid transition I made from bringing up plain water to feeling much better and gobbing down three pieces of cold pizza bordered on miraculous.

You might think I'm a total alcho' but seriously it takes barely anything for me to get a huge hangover. Ask anyone. I think I'm actually alergic to alcohol. On the rare occassion I actually feel like a drink, I think two's going to be my limit from now on. Anyway in this book I'm reading these two heroin junkies are trying to go through a home-detox, having that hangover yesterday made me more sympathetic to their horrible sick and miserable state of being.

As for the kids. Izzy has become the manifestation of Guitar Hero and lost 2 teeth on Friday. He's going to spend the first half of the school holidays hanging out for his Dad to come and visit. Bubby is constantly asking the question "Nat noise?" and we dutifully fill him in "that's the chooky laying an egg", "that's the sound of the fridge Bubby", "that's the culew-birdie singing out", "that's the garbage truck coming", "that's Mummy spewing into the cheezels bag". And then he's always asking "Matter Mumma?", "Matter Daddy?" and we reply "Nothing, it's all good Bubby", or "You just threw a truck at my head is the matter Bubby?" etc.

Please disregard the entry below. I'm not always a whingeing brat.

Dear Me

2008-06-23T21:21:00.001-07:00

So I was about to blog how I've come 'round to seeing my sister and Greg's brother as a great couple, they're can't keep their hands off one another (for someone who loves public displays of affection, it's almost nauseating even for me) and they're obviously crazy about each other. So despite the initial shock and even though they're hurtling in trying to make babies and everything, I've been happy for them for the most part.

But you know down there (insert downwards facing arrow) when I mentioned Greg and I having a deep and meaningful (do people still say that?) in the middle of town the other night. Well he was telling me how he's been confiding in a couple of mates how he wants to propose to me, take me to Tamarna Island camping and make it all beautiful and special coz the lamest thing he ever heard was his mate who asked his girlfriend to marry him in his truck in the middle of the KMart carpark, and how he wants to work overtime during the season to buy me a ring and how he thought it would be even more special if we organized it together. And I was laughing and telling him "Way to let me in on my special surprise Greg, so you not proposing you're just asking me to help you organise your proposal?" And he was like, point taken and clasped both my hands together and addressed me by my entire name.. And then I interrupted him and pointed out that we were sitting in our car, in a carpark.. And we both laughed it off and swaggered back into the night to join the party.

But since I've been feeling kinda excited for myself, I mean we've been together for 8 years, it's been a while coming - the big slow-witted fool. Greg reckons he knows someone at work who sets stones and we've been discussing rings etc. The thought of sharing his and Anakin's name has been giving me a nice little warm glow.

Next thing I know, CHRIS asked NICK to marry him on Sunday!!! At the block of land they just bought down the road from ours (while Greg's at work doing overtime), not even 3 months into their relationship and they're engaged!! Me, Mum and Greg met them out at their land to check it out afterwards. Chris told Greg (who filled me in as soon as he got a chance), Nick told Mum (who also filled me in as soon as she got the chance) and I got left out of the loop, obviously she felt a bit awkward telling me. She told me today when I saw her at a girlfriends place, I was like "Yeah, I've been waiting for you to ring and tell me" And she was "Oh I thought Greg would've told you." (We're obviously so special to each other.) I couldn't congratulate her. I just said "Are you trying to break some kind of a record or something?" If I get invited to the wedding after that comment I'll be crying big fat tears, not for her joy either, for my own FUCKING SADNESS!!!!

I feel like me and Greg can't go ahead with our plans or it'll just look super-corny. As if two sisters seeing two brothers isn't corny enough on it's own without sychronised engagements! Mum mentioned double weddings and I let rip my foul mouth. I think she got the picture.

Enough stuff

2008-06-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

I'm paranoid about becoming materialistic. Compulsively buying things we don't need gives me the guilts. I love it round here because going to the shops takes ages and is really only an outing to get the groceries. We need to change our approach when we are in Cairns too. We need to bypass WOW and head straight for the 'nard. Avoid Rebel Sports for another shipping container of Spalding Handballs on our way to Crystal Creek.

We've been in the process of cleaning out our spare room and so far I've got a boot load of books and clothes, shoes and toys for the Salvos. There is something to be said for decluttering that's for sure. The challenge will be to keep the exposed shelf space from filling up again.

As Anakin's birthday approaches I'm determined not to feel the need to shower him in presents. (Maybe just two ;) I don't want him to grow up with the "Gimme's" We'll throw him a big barbeque and give him a wonderful day surrounded by family. My birthday is coming up too - you know what I want? I filing cabinet to help me stay organized and uncluttered!

The matrix below illustrates my fantasy about living in a gypsy caravan. Now not much stuff is going to fit in there is it?! The four of us would have to have one each!

I'm doing alright I suppose. I've overcome the feeling of needing a copy of all my favourite books. I don't have a DVD collection.. Or a shopping bag full of toothbrushes, like one of my sisters friends. Clothing is my weakness - it's tough for me to stay away from the op-shop. Last Saturday I scored a pair of $300 RELIGION cargo's that still had all the tags on for $35! And as I've mentioned I've already got about a dozen stacks and that was after cleaning out the closet!

Took me half a dozen tries

2008-06-18T19:56:00.000-07:00

And a day and a half...

But I did it!! TWICE!

(Please note, dial-up is PAINSTAKING!)

Croak

2008-06-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

Managed a night out in town with my man over the weekend (although Greg got about a five hour head start on me). Our mate is moving down the Gold Coast to take up his new position as the head of housekeeping at the Versace Motel - it was his farewell party. We had a few quiet drinks at the Tradewinds' Ebar. Then the party moved on to a couples' nearby unit, where everyone went to, as I heard "get sauced up". I almost bailed out at this point because my interest in hanging around while party people get "sauced" is little to none. Anyway once there I was mixed a particularly strong tequila that went down well as I wondered when exactly someone was going to OD in front of my eyes and need 000. Some young fella Gareth, was crushing on me badly, which wasn't so much flattering as it was totally awkward and weird. He's probably googling me right now. Anyway it was all "Happy Days, Happy Days" then we left for the clubs. Me and Greg stopped for a D&M on the way, where Greg got all gushy and romantic on me and told me of his intentions for me, and we ended up losing everybody but by that stage I'd finished my third very strong drink and we made some new friends on the street ("what's the word on the street?") We took Otto and Bevan up to the Rhino Bar which was crankin and shouted each other Vodka and Red Bulls. All of a sudden I turned around to see my brother standing behind me! I gave him a big hug and it took him a good 5 or 10 seconds for the recognition to show on his face! I was obviously the last person he expected to see. He introduced us to his friend Mark and mentioned they'd just finished drinking in the gay bar downstairs. I'm sure he was just gathering some good stories to tell his best mate H, who is gay, but I dunno, him and his friend made a devastatingly good looking pair ;)

Anyway by that stage we realized we'd missed a couple phonecalls from Nick n Chris (the babysitters) and we raced off home, back to do the Mum and Dad thing. Once we had Bubby back to bed Greg started receiving messages from the Farewell Boy who had been locked out of the clubs, he was on his way over and they spend the rest of the night talking about old times, back when they played Monkey Magic. Coz, I mean who didn't?

It was a shortlived and fun time for me. Greg is a fun date. But I lost my voice while I was out and it hasn't come back yet.

Another one bites the dust

2008-06-12T01:59:00.000-07:00

I had to get a wisdom tooth pulled out yesterday arve. Feels like I've been punched in the face. While I was waiting for the anesthesia to kick in I got a tutorial on the physiological development of the jaws and teeth and palate (Me - "a bit like tectonic plates." Him - "Exactly like tectonic plates!"). And the essential differences between the teeth of herbivores, omnivores and carnivores (Him - "their teeth aren't built for grinding, but cutting and slashing and ripping." Me - "that crazy monkey I saw looked like it could rip into some jugulars." We were quite amusing each other as the dental assistant tried to decide who was the looniest.

Greg's inappropriateness is always getting me in trouble with my girlfriends. His recent faux pas have included:
1. Unintentionally disclosing the existence of homosexuals and trans genders in front of a young girl whose family has lots of skeletons in the closet.
2. Offering cigarettes to a nicotine addicted family man on about his fifth day of trying to improve his quality of life by quitting. Even though Greg doesn't smoke but I'm sure he'd pull the shed apart to find some if it meant slightly corrupting someone.
3. Accidentally sending base material via bluetooth to a man whose marriage was in trouble even before his wife discovered "Big Squirt" on his phone.

Yep, he's a rare jewel my Greg. Fits right in with all the Tradies at work.

He's been featured in the sports highlights every week for ages as the top scorer for the Silver Team. Last week he even made it in the headline: "Martin's Dunks Please Spectators." Hee hee hee. We thought that was pretty deadly.

This Circus

2008-06-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

Mary Kay is pervading my subconscious! I've been reading her memoirs and everytime I go to sleep I'm dreaming about all her golden rules, the GO-GIVE spirit, 6 most important things to achieve tomorrow.. I'm becoming a convert while I sleep! I rise in the morning (NOT with the 5am club mind you) and cleanse, soften, replenish and moisturize like it's the most important thing in the world! And get this - afterwards I apply a little lipliner and some gloss and powder!!!! It's been a very light read, she really got me with the "you can't afford not to employ a housekeeper!" and totally lost me with the "ladies must never where trousers" (I'd just finished refolding the twelve stacks of pants I own so they could fit into the cupboard and, was completely offended).

I was hoping some of her philanthropic tendencies would rub off on me because I'm conscience that I can be as nasty as hell. Me and Greg spent the weekend giving each other the shits and I have been finding it hard not to treat my sister's relationship with Greg's brother as a bad joke. It's showing. I laughed at her when she told me she had pash rash asking how could she when he's only got about 3 hairs sprouting out of his chin. Today after telling her how Greg enraged me by laughing heartily at the expense of the 1/2 a tonne Dad on Medical Marvels last night, she sighed dreamily and said "those boys have such nice laughs, really infectious... so nice". I was straight out "Greg has a nice laugh. Chris's is more like a bray". But she talks about them like they're one entity which is destined to freak me out. I suppose I could have told her she was mistaken when she bought that coconut body wash thinking she could go to bed smelling like her new man, that it was Greg's bottle he left in Chris's bathroom and if she really wants to smell like Chris I'd suggest some selsun blue and some phisohex.

We had a lame long weekend with Bubby sick with the spewies. We ended up taking him to the hospital for a checkup where he saw this South African Doctor who regarding Anakin's startled countenance reckoned "Whatsa matta Boy? Have you never seen a man az Black as me?" In a voice like James Earl Jones. Greg thinks he scared the sickness out of him. But his still not quite right yet. On the odd occasions Bub's felt good over the weekend he's made the most of it. Me and Greg have been getting up at all hours when at 1.30am or 2.30 or 3.30 he suddenly perks up and insists "shower!" or "Wiggles" or "read me Mumma".

Anyway I took Izzy to the Circus on Monday night thinking I'd give him a bit of excitement at the end of our otherwise slack and dreary long weekend. It ended up being such a shonky, hillbilly excuse for a Circus it was actually hilariously entertaining for us. The ring was about as small as my lounge room which gave the meager crowd a close look at the Ring Master's sweat stains. And all the red welts that his savage looking monkey had put all over his forehead as as it excitedly used him as a jungle gym while frantically searching the crowd for a good-looking face to gnarl. The "clown" had a two toned beard and was dressed in a cropped top, britches and a pair of footy shorts. Apart from his get-up, he looked like an alcholic pirate who was doing community service for some shady criminal offence involving children. He's main act was performing "death defying feats" on his tightrope (a piece of elastic tied between two plastic chairs) where he kept flashing great eye fulls of his beige jocks at the disbelieving and repulsed spectators. Other than those two maniacs, there was a couple of ring-ins from the local Gym Club who did flips off a mini tramp and landed on some scungy mattresses (probably the pirates) and some chick who'd learnt to juggle and balance at the one too many raves she'd obviously attended. Oh, and three others - the owners who operated the fairy floss machine and whose brainchild the Circus was, carefully planned (after a really bad acid trip) to provide there special son a rich cultural environment in which to embrace his uniqueness. And a donkey, and a goat. Both of which I swear I saw grazing at someones hobby farm earlier in the day.

In the Night Garden

2008-06-02T04:05:00.000-07:00

I can't stop calling my kids little "Tombileeboos" and "Pontipines". Last night Greg threatened to "Acca-pac" me!! :-o

Something about Mary

2008-05-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

I hosted a Mary Kay party since we last talked. Made $611 worth of sales which entitled me to order a heap of freebies, so I can't wait for all that to arrive in the mail. I actually signed up as a consultant at a GF's party a few weeks ago because the consultancy kit included what I was about to order and was way more value. I made myself perfectly clear that I had no intention of being an active consultant but that I thought considering the few friends and family that buy the products I could probably keep my membership current by putting an order in here and there. Anyway then after that particularly shit day at school I thought hey maybe there's a future in this for me. Then I tried to actually apply some makeup, which I'm absolutely shocking at, I managed to get glittery eyeshadow residues from arsehole to breakfast time and within about 5 minutes it looked like my whole face had kind of slipped right off it's target. I think I'll just stick to facepainting. I went to one of the MK training sessions just for interests sake and because Greg happened to have that day off. It was alright, reminded me a bit of a cult. I'm suppose to write all these affirmations for homework because next week they're doing up "dreamboards", photo montage sounds right up my alley but spare me all New Age jargon. Don't think I'll make it back. Still I might work on some goal setting to give me a bit of direction. I "manifested" my perfect perfect block of land, in the perfect location for the perfect price, maybe there's something in it after all.

Cow

2008-05-23T19:18:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was a good day in the classroom - I only had to send two kids to the isolation room at lunchtime and I'm thinking life is good - I'm getting through to these little terrors.

But then I worked Thursday as well. Thursdays we go to the library and I prep' them thoroughly "libraries are like churches, we need to be very quiet and use whispering voices (yeah right! - "MISS I FOUND WALLY!!! I FOUND HIM!!!!!!). Actually I didn't think they were doing too badly and then after a couple of reminders during story time Mrs StrictlyKickinItOldSchool came waltzing over and got fair up the whole class right in front of me! :( "I HEARD MISS NADINE ASK YOU TO KEEP QUIET!! I'M TRYING TO WORK OVER THERE AND I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK! BLAH BLAH RANT RANT (As if I don't do enough of that myself). I was so utterly humiliated, like, give me some professional space lady. I swear I was so embarrassed and offended I went bright red and boiling hot in an instant, I took it really badly and it was written right over my face. It didn't help that I'd just gotten my period and already felt like emotional jelly. She must have thought she was doing me a favour, backing me up with some obviously much needed authori-tie. She winked at me on the way out the door like that's how you really rip it up 'em Love. But I just felt so undermined. That was the second time she'd interrupted my lesson too - I had a boy ask me if he could go to the loo - if kids ask me to go to the loo, I let them, I suppose there's the odd kid that just wants to cruise off for a walk but who cares it's not like they're gone for long - a couple of minutes! And denying a kid who needs to go is just cruel. Anyway this particular kid is always asking to go and the way he fiddles around with himself I think he might have a bit of an issue, so I suggested he try and remember to go during lunch breaks and was about to let him when she charges over again "Miss Nadine I was on playground duty and I reminded everyone to go to the toilet didn't I children?? Did I not children?? Blah Blah Blah!" I should have told her "Excuse me but he happened to ask me. "Yes son, off you go." Anyway I let him go TWICE during afternoon session and I hope he walked right passed her window on the way!

SEMINARS!

2008-05-17T22:40:00.000-07:00

Me and my two and Mum and her three - Mother's Day.

Okay so today the "Lootha"-"Gorge" Lady said "I really want to go to the Beauty Expo in Sydney this year, they have the best Beauty Cinemas!" I guess I'm just going to come to terms with the fact that some people like me can't spell the words and some people just don't know the right bloody words to say!

Yesterday we had a 1st birthday party here for Greg's brother's little boy. Me and Greg have only seen him a couple times in the last year as he lives with his Mum a few hours away and Chris only gets to see him during his monthly visits. Nick had all her culinary skills on display and we munched out on fresh pineapple drizzled with chocolate, blueberry muffins, choc fudge brownies, egg and lettuce sandwiches, fresh energy slice (that was me), beautiful homemade pesto, prawns (that was Chris) and fresh mackerel. Nick also had her flawless mothering skills on display for the benefit of young and old (or more for Chris I'm guessing), spending her day nursing, feeding, changing and blowing the nose of the little birthday boy. What's the bet those two will be procreating a bunch of kidlets in no time. They'll come out looking just like Anakin! Freakish.

Except poor Bubby who had been looking forward to seeing his little cousin all week had just about the worst night of his life (save the green banana episode). Last weekend it was Greg who was rolling around in bed with some lergy going "What's wrong with MEEE!" and I was doing my best at playing nurse to a grown man (really badly) replying "It's obvious! You're dying!" Well this weekend it's been Anakins turn. Poor kid is practically drowning in his own snot and flem, he's all bleary eyed and has almost no voice. Tonight he's been braying into the end of a syphon funnel so he can reach his normal vocal potential. He refuses any attempts at getting baby panadol into him so is suffering pretty badly. Instead of his usual chipper self he's bursting into tears at everything with big fat tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. It's been tough on me because he reverted back into the feeding patterns of an infant and wants to be on the boobie ALL. NIGHT. So I've had bugger all sleep for going on 4 nights. It's only the second time in his almost 2 years that he's been real crook, so all-in-all his doing pretty darn well.

He's latest thing is taking you by the hand and leading you off somewhere special saying "I'll show ya!" He's really good at pretending. He loves to catch fish in the bath tub and then he cooks them up, sprinkles them with salt and feeds them to you. He pretends to catch the insects in his bug books.
(sometimes real ones too) and eats the pictures of food right off the pages. He's really good with his colours now. He's a real little Aussie and punctuates everything with "Beauty Mate!" "Cheers Mate!". He knows purple, blue, green, red, yellow, white, black and orange. His favourite favourite treat is marshmallows. He calls them "Mushroomallows" It's so funny. He's been wearing Izzy's BMX gloves around lately insisting everyone give him handshakes, knuckles and high fives with his super sized hands. I dunno how he's going to go in kindy because so much of his interactions with his brother start with "Wanna rumble?", "I'll fight you!", "Wrestle." Well that's when Izzy's not trying to get ahold of his "fresh neck" or pleading "kiss for Brussy?"

Better go put the little fella to bed. Have been very slack in here lately but will try be back soon.

It's BURST!!

2008-05-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

In the course of a conversation the other day I heard "loofah" pronounced as "lootha" and "gauze" as "gorge". A friend's Mum was telling me how she "newztoo go into the salon" while her daughter smiled and listened intently and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from shrieking "what are you trying to say??" I mean there's slang and there's just mispronunciation. "We busted the blue balloon", "I can't believe how inaffected they are" - from fully grown adults! I didn't realise I was living in Hicksville - then again my sister is shackin' up with my brother...in law.

Cassowary Capers

2008-05-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

On my way home from work last week I almost rear-ended a minibus of backpackers who had come to a complete stop in a 100k zone to take photo's of this cassowary sign. I've seen it done a few times but usually the tourists have the good sense to get off the road a bit first! But anyway it reminded me of a few funny stories that Greg has gleaned from the tea room at work.

This is funny. One young lad had spent loads of money doing up his car and had finally gotten it finished just the way he wanted. Anyway all the road signs around here aren't just for show, you actually do have to stop for cassowaries crossing the road quite frequently, as he had to one day. Except he got impatient with the particular slow-moving giant bird he was waiting on and gave it a bit of a nudge. But it did a bit more than hurry the cassowary along, it actually freaked it right out! It jumped up onto the bonnet of his freshly spraypainted pride-and-joy, stomped up and down on it and totally scratched the shit out of it before jumping down and running away! Ha ha ha! Oh man! How devastated would ya be. I wonder if insurance covered it.

And another one. Okay same thing that happened to me happened to this other guy - except the tourists hadn't pulled up in the middle of the road to take photo's of the cassowary sign, they'd pulled up in the middle of the road to take photo's of the actual cassowary. This guy wasn't going to be able to pull up in time so had to swerve right around the parked car to narrowly avoid a real bad car accident. Except he had a fatal collision with the cassowary instead. I would have like to have seen what ended up on those polaroids! A big puff of bird feathers probably.

A Perfect Day on Logie Night

2008-05-03T22:30:00.000-07:00

Clocked up about 30 k's on the pushbike today. After a bit of a late start (punctured tube) Mum and I rode down to the markets. Did a couple detours on the way to check out new developments around the place. Once we arrived we meandered through the stalls. She bought a knitted vest. I bought some peach blossoms and coconut macaroons for the boys and then some ginger plants and Arctic Snow to add to the bank that we are planting out between the house and the shed, trying to steel it back from the noxious weed - Singapore Daisy. Man I hate that stuff. We had a very long and leisurely rest at the Churchy Stall (that's just what I call it - I'm sorry) while knocking back strong tea, jam and scones, vegetarian curry puffs and taro chips. (All latent energy..) Then we sat in the shade on the grass with fellow teachers dissecting the worth of Fridays' PD sessions while waiting for Greg to join us with the boys.

He brought the car down with the trailer and the other bikes so we all got to ride around the beach together. (We finally got around to hooking up the baby seat and you should see how sweet Anakin looks perched on the back of Greg's bike with his oversized stack-hat on his little head. OMG.)

We rode to the school to play tennis and everyone took turns one at a time to be slaughtered by me. (Ha ha ha) Then we rode round the corner to check what progress has been made on the house Nick's getting built. (She is in Cairns with Greg's brother for the fourth weekend in a row.. mmm...) Then we stopped at the resort for a quick OJ before it was off home again. A perfect way to spend the day.

Greg took Izzy and the boys next door out for a maiden voyage in the river most of yesterday. Then we had one of those scrumptious shared meals we have been in the habit of whipping-up between us. After the kids were put to bed we watched Street Kings and ate profiteroles for dessert. The neighbours are in the process of packing up to move :( That's going to be a bit hard to cop. They're not going too far, but it won't be like having them right next door. Our boundaries join up and there are no fences between the properties so it will be a bit confusing for Anakin when he has to remain only in ours. He's always asking to go over to "Reuben's home?"

That reminds me of the cute way he calls Elmo's World "Elmo's Home". It makes sense.

I'm watching the Logie Awards in the background. I love that Aussies never take anything too seriously.

But ouch! My bum hurts. Remind me to invest in one of those silicone seats.