Tit!

I'm beginning to wish I didn't call Anakin's favourite meal of the day "Titty". He's not one of these babies that puts a "y" sound on the end of everything - He says "Bird" not "Birdie", he says "Dad!" not "Daddy". Well he looks at my boobs hungrily smacking his lips and laughing with excited anticpation and exclaims "Tit!". Sounds terrible!

Mum cut Izzy's hair yesterday. I spent the morning trying to reassure him that it's not that bad. (While wetting my hands and smoothing that bit down and scruching out the next bit.) Mum rang up to ask "How's his haircut? Well I din't mean to cut it that short the wind kept blowing his hair into the clippers!!" She cuts it outside on top of her hill in the whipping wind so she doesn't have to sweep afterwards and expects it to turn out okay. Talk about cutting corners! I knew I should have been there to supervise the job!

He's in a play at school tomorrow, plus he's got surf lifesaving and is staying at a mates place after school. With costumes and cozzies and spare clothes for the weekend he's going to need to take a bloody suitcase.

Greg's got the day off tomorrow. We have to go to Townsville with his brother who has a meeting on Saturday morning with his estranged ex to put a Parenting Plan in place. I'm Chris's "support person" so Greg needs to be there to take care of Bub. Mum and Nick are going down there to shop the same day! I'm getting the raw deal!

Another Crazy Bird!

I'm weak, my heart is racing... I thought my last too-close-encounter with a crazy cassowary was bad enough, this time was way worse!

Bubby and I were having our usual playtime outside - he was cruising about picking bright orange fungus off logs, climbing up the pushbikes leaning against the side of the house... I was trailing around after him making sure he didn't chow-down on the orange fungus or get his leg caught in any spokes. Anyway he found himself a tennis ball to play with and parked himself on top of the septic tank (noice) in the sun next to the dog and I parked myself back on the outdoor lounge with the realestate guide about 10 meters away.

Next thing I know, I hear a familiar hissing sound, the ruffling of a lot of feathers and the dog barking. Fark! I knew what that meant - the resident cassowary and his chick where coming down the bank for a rummage through the compost but encountered the resident mutt (and arch enemy) on the way!! I had to run towards the cassowary who was running towards Snoop to scoop up Anakin and pace it in through the back door. Holy Shit - you should've seen how fast I moved. INTERCEPT!!

Anakin wasn't fazed - he's always wanted to get that close to the cassowary. But me! Fark

Hungry...less hungry

Okay, I started. On day one Greg and his brother begged me to go with them to the all-you-can eat bistro for dinner but I flat out refused, still sickened by the memory of my over-gorged feeling from the night before.

Instead, for the day I ate: a handful of cashews, almonds and walnuts, a banana a small avocado, a lime and a little bowl of pasta. I’ll tell ya – I was starvin’-hungry all day, being used to eating all that in one sitting!

Yesterday I went with Nick and Anakin for a visit to Nana and Granddads’, we saw my Great Uncle Dick and Auntie Dawnie, Dad and Pep (my brother’s dad).

While there I resisted Tina wafers, I resisted fruit cake, I resisted ham and tomato sandwiches and ate paw-paw, a banana and a dried pear instead. Then I got home and ate a gigantic salad and tuna wrap. That did me for the rest of the day. (Except for a yummy macadamia shortbread with my green tea after the kids bedtime.)

Today I’ve had a kiwi fruit and another dried pear. I’m heaps less hungry than I was on day one that’s for sure. My stomach has had to of reduce down a bit from its football size!

I don’t want to compromise the quality of my breastmilk though but I’m figuring if it needs a little more fat content it can just tap into the great stores I have all around my middle!

Been loving the coverage of the US Open the last two days. Bubby’s not interested in watching telle but he does pay attention to the tennis and the footy every now and again.

We went out to the block yesterday arve after it had been slashed and got to traipse around the whole one and a half acres. It was so awesome being out there with the kids and the dog. Isaiah and Anakin hung out on a picnic rug in the shade of the guava trees eating vege chips and playing while me and Greg planted, fertilized and watered about 10 gums. I am so fuckin’ happy about it all! The whole place is like knee deep in dry guinea grass. I dunno what we’re going to do about that – raking it up and burning it would take SO long! But there’s no chance of any lawn growing underneath it all! Might just have to do a bit at a time.

At least a couple of times a year I have these dreams that I’m out of control of a vehicle, it’s usually because I can’t reach the pedals or because I can’s see the road properly and it’s usually Greg’s car I’m driving?? I NEVER end up crashing or hurting any of my passengers or bystanders but I’m always waiting for it to happen. Had one of those this morning. Wonder what it means.

Fed Up

(If I had a coffeeshop that's what I'd call it. Or "Get Fed". People could say "Let's Get Fed")

Good God I’m full. I am an absolute glutinous pig! Another over-eating episode that is “family night” has just taken place and I feel disgustingly well fed. I’ve basically had dinner and tomorrows’ breakfast all at once

I think I’ve had enough of my mudguts. I caught sight of it in the reflection of the sliding door today and it nearly made me thow up into my mouth (like that chick off “Dodgeball”.) I’m weighing an extra 5 kilos for sure but still squishing into my old clothes with all the fatness spilling and bulging – it’s not a good look for me.

Some serious action needs to be taken. I need to become a fruitarian and have a colonic irrigation or something!

Starting tomorrow!

The Stupid Drunk Girl that's not really Me

I had a dream this morning that I was the obnoxious drunk girl you always see at a party. I was greeting all the sober newcomers by grabbing them around the middle and jumping up and down with them. I was making foreign-language-speaking backpackers do schoolyard clapping games with me that they had no idea about. I was eating dry biscuits and accidentally blowing the crumbs out all over peoples’ lips while talking too loudly about nothing. There was a young dance troupe fundraising as entertainment, of course I was trying to join in the routine and making a complete wanker of myself. Total cringe material… I never was that girl by the way. Well, not that I can remember…

Nick had business with Dixon homes yesterday so phoned me early in the morning with an invitation for me and Bubby to go shopping in Cairns with her. It so happened that I’d just been drawing up a September calendar and penning in all our commitments and wondering when the dickens I was going to be able to buy Izzy’s birthday presents. So we dropped Iz off at school and off we went with Auntie Nick.

Having a relaxing browse through the shops proved difficult with Bubby, yet again. Poor kid hates shopping at the best of times but was suffering pretty bad with his teeth (he has four molars all coming through together!), he didn’t want to eat much and kept pointing into his mouth and complaining. Auntie Tiff bought him Saxon the Snake to cheer him up and we did our best to keep him happy, by sitting him on every bloody ride in the whole shop and hiring one of those little buggies to cruise around in, which came with some complimentary make-up and half a squashed sausage roll. Luckily I didn’t have too much of an agenda, I was able to get exactly what I wanted for Izzy straight away and then cruising around entertaining Bubby’s little fancies was fine. I’m having to deal with op-shopping withdrawals though, maybe the opportunity will present itself next time.

Family night is here tonight. First time! We’re having a big curry with rice and pappadums and condiments, followed by Belgian waffles…And I’ve already had left over Alfredo for breakfast followed by a chocolate chip scone and one and a half kettles of green tea!

Floaties, and not the kind kids use for swimming..

Greg and I had some child-free time after dinner last night which lead to his pursuit of me into the shower. It got lovely and steamy, we ran a bath (we only need about three inches of water because once Greg lowers in his 2 meter tall self it comes right up to the top!) and added some honey and baking soda (I’ve been using a combination of common household ingredients on my skin since the purchase of the block the budget doesn’t allow for normal facial skincare products!) Greg even brought us in a glass of my favourite red wine to enjoy. Which I was, until I discovered…FLOATIES! (Just in my wine glass.) Sick!

Now I must explain I don’t live in a grotto or anything, but it’s not like I polish the glassware either – he’d pulled this one right from the back of the cupboard and failed to give it a rinse or even glance into it as he was pouring apparently, because I’m sure I swallowed some old cockroach legs or two, maybe the shell of a baby gecko egg… Oh man that’s so gross. I haven’t got the most refined palate and I only enjoy one measly wine – it’s a seasonal Brown Brothers sweet red, “Cienna”, tastes just like cherries, it’s so delicious and if this little floaty incident has turned me off it that nice time in the tub with Greg was so not worth it! Grrr!

Anakin joined his first “Playgroup” yesterday. It was heaps of fun playing with him on all the equipment and seeing his reaction as he sat with a bunch of other Littles for fruit time and singing. I nearly cried watching his precious face. He has loved cars for ages and wants to spend all his time in ours – turning the hazard lights on and off, dancing or relaxing to the music on the stereo, throwing around all Greg’s “pie money”. So he spent most of his playgroup time with me zooming him around on this:

It was a bit of a struggle keeping him awake during his feed before we left and then on the way down there as it’s on just as he would usually be having his first sleep. To tell you the truth it’s not his “first” sleep but rather his “only” sleep these days. But I’m trying my hardest to be in denial about that!

My 14year old niece has moved to Mum’s for a while, so her and Izzy are now in walking distance of each other. They caught up here for the arvie and then spent the night up there playing Uno and stuff. It’ll be so nice having her around more. She calls Anakin “Little Nicky”. That means there’s Aunty Nick, Uncle Nicholas and Little Nicky.

Iz had me in stitches this morning doing an impression of the little girl next door – her Mum reckons she has anger management issues because she flies off into these fits of rage where she goes red in the face and tears instantly start squirting out of her eyes and you can almost see the steam rising up off her – anyway, Iz does his thing – he sings a line of all these songs and joins them together in a single stream and does all the dance movements to go with it. He starts off singing an Usher song (doing the smooth moves) and runs it into “old Grandma, she ain’t what she used to be…” (dacking himself and knocking his knees in and out” and then "don't touch me coz I'm electric..(accompanied by the robot) and it goes on and on, interjected with random noises and some meditation mantra that apparently her dad uses to try and calm her down. Poor girl, I shouldn’t laugh but he’s a total crack-up.

Love Ya Work

After a couple too many drinks in the shed last night Greg came in to smooch me up and tell me how much he loves me (“Ahhrr” I thought). But then he walks away muttering “I’m gunna marry the sh*t outta you one day Babe”. God, talk about eloquent. What a refined man I snagged myself!

I just finished painting the laundry door “Caesar Stone”. (After sweeping and mopping out all the chicken poo – I need a coup bad!) It’s going to become the official place to record the kids’ heights each birthday.

Poor Greg didn’t score too majorly for Fathers Day because we spoiled him so much last weekend for his birthday. We bought him a big straw broom to keep his shed clean and some yummy chocolate coated almonds. As soon as I drag myself away from the computer I’ll be making him some more Apricot balls too.

We spent the morning at the markets eating burgers and peach blossoms. Anakin tested out his first pair of shoes, a soft little pair of white and blue play-gro sneakers, by traipsing around all over the park. (His hands are becoming less outstretched and zombie-like and are coming down by his sides more as he gains confidence.) He is so adorable.

In the arvie we went down to the beach with the neighbours and their kids. The fellas threw a line in off the jetty with the older kids and we hung out while Anakin had his first real play on the beach. He loved it! Filling up his trucks with sand, squashing castles, staggering around in the surf, eating bananas… He went a bit crazy when the salt water started drying on him so I rinsed him off under a near-by tap to stop the itching and rugged him up. Then it was off to the nearest take-away for fish n chips. We’re going to rendezvous again later when the kids are asleep for a glass of red and a mow-vie. “A Scanner Darkly”

When we tried phoning Izzy’s dad earlier to say Happy Father’s Day he was in heavy traffic and couldn’t answer so he called us when he got in. I would have offered to call him back again so he didn’t have to pay but the last time he was here he spent the whole time informing me what a sh*t phone plan I’m on and how deadly his own one is – so bugger him!