Boy trouble

Greg's birthday's coming up in a couple of weeks. And how's this? His parents are giving him their PATROL!!! OMG!! We'll be able to tow the t@banacle around with IT anywhere!! We've been a one car family since I sold my little white Festiva to Izzy's dad, so having an almost new 4WD will be incredible! Not that I'll be the one driving it. I won't be game! I've put too many little scrapes and dings in Greg's Magna since I started driving it! It's over 10 years old and I get into enough trouble over them! Greg's always rousing on me for parking to close to things, it's more like people park too close to me and then I can't get out again without getting caught up on their bull bars! .... There was that wheely bin I wiped out around the corner, the other day, the sidemirror isn't much chop now...

Anakin is in the habit of throwing himself prostrate on the floor whenever he is itchy and demanding "Rub! Rub! Scratch me!!" He doesn't even come and find us, he just lies down on the spot wherever he is when he decides he's itchy. He's a funny little thing. The other night I was putting him to bed when he goes "Mum, can you bite my toenails off so I can eat them?" He's a full little grot at the moment - wants to pee on things and has this obsession with drinking his wee like Bear Grills has to in extreme survival moments. We got sick of him whinging about it and let him. He dry wretched about half a dozen times while we stood around laughing at him. He hides behind the curtains to eat play-doh and lies down on his messes to cover them up and says "Don't look at me!" Of course he's an absolute little angel as well - real brainy and full of personality, most other little kids seem like non-entities in comparison. Also very insistent and high demand! A lot like Izzy when he was little but without the whole "head case" component (which he still has!) and Izzy wasn't the adventurous kind like Anakin either.

I've totally ripped it up Izzy a few times lately. He expects me to treat him like a little bloody prince and never wants to make an effort to contribute when he's here. He loves laying guilt trips on me and tries to make me feel like shit about stuff that's already over and done with or things that haven't even happened yet. He never puts his Dad through the wringer like he does with me and yet I'm the one who's looked after him every day of his life the last 12 years, made sacrifices and invested so much of my emotion into him - and his old man was AWOL for 10 years or so doing absolutely God know what (NOT putting himself in a better position to support his son I know that much, or paying maintenance for that matter). Man, it pisses me right off it's so totally unjustified and mean. I end up screaming at him so the neighbours can hear me, which isn't any better. I have to keep my reactions to him constantly in check coz he just rubs me up the wrong way so much. We can be good company for each other but on a whole I hope things get a whole lot easier with our relationship. Talk about volatile.

The shit that shits me.

Anti-natal was a complete waste of time yesterday. Besides the fact that I was kept waiting an hour, after striding into the doctors office and sitting down, he goes "So you're due next week." Umm, no did you even look at me as I walked in?? "Oh hang on I'm looking at your file from 2006.. So you're due in February!" Try again mate, maybe third time lucky. I told him I had bad lower back pain, and I felt like my fanny needed physiotherapy and some days I have real difficulty standing on one foot to get my leg in my pants and that I think I'm suffering with some degree of SPD. His response was "What's SPD?" No word of advice. I told him I was suffering with my teeth and thought I had an abscess. No word of advice. Even though it seems to be general knowledge that gum disease can cause premature labour. I told him I'd had a scan 2 weeks prior and was hoping to discuss the results. He flicked back a page and said "Oh yeah, it's all good.." I said "I thought I might have access to a CD or some film I could take home.." He goes "I wouldn't know about that.." He gave me a quick scan on his ultra sound machine which was cool and when I commented that I'd love to take it home with me, he goes "Why?" Err coz I like to collect medical machinery, why do you fucking reckon you clown?? He didn't ask me about ANYTHING!! Surely there's some standard questions you ask a pregnant lady the first time you see her as a doctor - about bloody diet or comfort or blood group or SOMETHING! I could of done a vastly better job sitting there pretending I was a doctor!!

People have been getting to me lately though. Last Friday I wanted to get cash out at the servo and I told her as much and she goes "oh it's too late, it's already gone through". (This is BEFORE I'd even swiped my card or put my pin in or anything!) Because she wasn't competent enough to backtrack through the motions and start the process on the computer slash register again, she made out like it was totally impossible coz she didn't like the look of me (just like one of my uni lecturers who used to chase me out of class especially to tell me I had an attitude problem.) It just made me instantly irate. I glared her down and said "Well that sucks". (Aren't I mature?) Just like when the council librararian tried to make me feel guilty about the freight costs involved in shuttling books backwards and forwards between libraries when I wanted to reorder a book they'd already sent back when I couldn't collect it in time. Like she was forking out for it personally - Err, lady. Are you trippin'? That's the service this facility provides to the public. As a member of the library that's just what you're spose to do for me. Don't take it personal like.

And then there's this idiot up the road who came around one day with his wife beater stretched around his huge beer gut and his little rugger shorts coz he heard along the grape vine he could get some movies off Greg. Never even met the guy before. He drops in here all the time and without fail goes to me "The big fella asleep?" (who's asleep at like 10:30 in the morning?) and then I say "Greg's at work. He doesn't get home til about 4o'clock". And then he tells me about his technical difficulties and I tell him that I'll pass the message along and Greg might be able to help him out later. And then a couple days later he comes over again "Is the big fella asleep?" "NO! He WORKS during the DAY!" No joke we've had this conversation about 5 times now. God he shits me. Is he suffering from Gulf War Syndrome, is he trying to catch me in the nude or something or could he really be that dumb. Greg, coz he's a good guy, unlike me, goes up and helps him with his technical issues, this usually just involves pushing the title button on his remote, so maybe he is just that dumb. I just can't see myself rocking up on someone out of the blue hitting them up for favours, when you've actually got no shared past whatsoever and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON. He comes now to drink a beer with Greg (less than half his age) and invites ME to sit down with them coz he's about to share his story of travelling to Indonesia. You can't invite someone to sit down when they're actually in their own home can you??? I was just like "I'm cookin' tea". Oh man some people just shit me! That's my vent, where's yours?

This weekend just gone was another beauty. We had a show holiday on Friday and took the kids on Friday night. Anakin did a few more rides this year and Izz rode SPEED (Just before him and his cousin got on they stopped the ride and did maintenance on it! OMG! I was like "Bail out guys!")





We checked out the pavilion and some of my kids Science books were on display. I was very proud of myself because each page they'd opened them on, all the work was marked and commented on with gold stars and stickers. (It's really hard to find the time to look at all their work all the time so that was a bit of a fluke!) There was a slideshow of the class doing all different activities around the school as well and I couldn't help gushing to Greg, "Look! That's so-n-so!" and "oh look how gorgeous they are!" (They're extra cute when they're not actually in your face. No, that's not true. They're always beautiful kids.) We ate fresh cream waffles and Rotary curry chicken for dinner under the grandstand. The little lambikins and jersey calf at the petting zoo were so sweet, Anakin went through a few dollars worth of feed there!

We rode the ferris wheel and bought flashing light sabers and bubble guns and fairy floss. Izzy finally succumbed to the fashion trend of a flat broad brimmed hat. Man I've been trying to put him off buying one of those for ages. They're the ugliest looking dopiest things to wear on your head, I swear. And another time when I wasn't looking he went searching for a ying-yang pendant, except he could only find one with a couple of gunja leaves on it, so he bought it anyway! I tolerated it for a few days but made him take it off yesterday! Oh God! I hope he has more sense then that!! I've been trying to find him something nice as a replacement and then I can get rid of it all together! We stayed for the fireworks and then drove up to Cairns for the rest of the weekend.


Saturday morning I had my half price day at the op-shop (frequent shopper rewards. You should ask about that Vanilla ;). I took Izzy to the podiatrist (he's got no spring in his feet and runs along like his legs are made of concrete) and then dropped him off to his Dad who was staying at his sister's place and recovering from a gig in Port Douglas. Hung out with Tiff in the arve and then she took us home and cooked us spag-bol from Master Chef. It was pretty good too.


Greg spent the afternoon getting blind with his brother (who, after dumping my sister admits to having spend the month since, pissed or asleep! Idiot.) at various seedy locations. And managed to walk home at about 9.30pm after getting into a drunken brawl which eventually sent the venue into lockdown mode. I don't think they'll be going back there in a hurry. And that's what Greg was doing as I was having a genteel tea and talking wedding plans. Ugh!

Sunday, we got to take Bubby on the skyrail up to Kuranda with a couple of mates of ours we were in desperate need of a catch up with. Spent a few hours up there pottering around the markets and lollyshops and stuff and then took the Scenic Rail back again. I loved it! So did Anakin :). Can't wait to do it again!

There was some highlights in amongst our excellent weekends too. Playgroup is always one of them. Been meeting some lovely Mums there and Anakin is enjoying himself more and more. And Greg's been playing awesome basketball every week.

And last Tuesday (after getting put off for another week) I had my first anti natal appointment. I inquired as to whether they could squeeze me in down in the XRay department after I was done, and they could!! So I was busy trying to scull down enough water in time after just totally emptying myself for a wee test! My bladder was still completely empty once I got there (my stomach was pretty full though!) but gradually started to fill up the longer I lay there. I'd asked Greg if I was allowed to find out the sex the previous afternoon, if by chance they could fit me in, he thought about it for a bit and then said "Yeah, okay, if I get some tonight." (I looked at him unbelieving, thinking after all this rigmarole is THAT all it takes!!) And then he goes "AND tomorrow night!" I suppressed my urge to point out to him that he gets it all the bloody time anyway so that was a pretty senseless bargain and shouted "DONE!!" instead and raced away to hide so he couldn't change his mind! Anyway it all went really well, I think, he didn't really say too much. I dunno about the machinery they use in that place though, I think it's a bit out dated and the images I was seeing weren't as clear as I'd hoped. I'm hanging out for next Tuesday when I can talk to the doctor about it all and hopefully get some film or a CD. The bloke doing it was a trainee and when it came time to find out if Berry has girl or boy bits he took a painfully long time and then says "I'm sorry, I can't actually see what your baby is today.." I swallowed down the disappointment and said bravely "Oh. That's okay.." but we were both still searching the screen when out of all the graininess came the most obvious little set of bollies and a little dicky coming out between. I was like "OH LOOK!!" and he said "Oh, hang on, here we go, it looks like a boy.. blah blah blah, we can't say 100% because sometimes it can be a swollen vagina etc. Then he got his supervisor in to confirm that he had all the images needed etc. So the older bloke sat down for another good look around while I couldn't stop grinning at the thought of another little boy to add to my bunch. I asked him to have another look between the legs for me, which he did and agreed that there seemed to be a definite penis there and that he would be extremely surprised if it turned out otherwise . Hee hee hee!! I can't wait to meet him!!!

Birthday boy

Had a lovely couple of weekends again. No chance to blog.... well I'd probably have the time if I could correlate my thoughts as fast as I can type... a bit slow witted I think.

Bubby turned 3 last weekend. On the Saturday we took him for a bush walk to a beautiful sandy bay for a picnic and a bit of fishing. It was gorgeous weather and we ate cherries and apples and pistachio nuts.


I had tried to phone Izzy to join us, but couldn't reach him and was a bit sad he wasn't there. Anyway it's was so deserted over there we walked right to the middle of the bay and I took the opportunity to do a bit of nudey sunbaking. Greg was keeping an eye on the few people wandering around at the very ends of the huge stretch of beach through the binoculars to make sure noone was coming our way. After an examination of some newcomers, he reckons "one of those boys looks like Izzy!" I was too busy soaking in the rays and didn't pay too much attention. But we packed up and left soon after and made our way to the start of the trail where the two kids were. As we got closer I recognised the way one of them moved around and sung out "Izzy!!" Sure enough it was him! With his mate Owen! Of all people we could of seen! They'd come over to play Man Verse Wild (both my boys have been thoroughly affected by Bear Grills the survival expert) and spent the afternoon after we'd left, eating hermit crabs and pippies and battling the elements.

Saturday night we went to one of Greg's workmates birthday party and Anakin had a ball there too. We left for home pretty early (not so early that Greg didn't have a chance to get well stewed) because I still had to make birthday cake batter and wrap presents and Greg had to assemble Anakin's kitchen. He was complaining too "This thing has more screws in it than my shed!!". Plus we were missing a bit! Friggin piece 65!! Greg had to bodge it up out of an old piece of ply.

Sunday moring was classic with all the presents being opened. (We've had to re-enact that morning every day since) He's such a grateful little darling and then we all went to the markets for our favourite Thai breakfast.


He was a real head turner in his starwars trooper costume and his hero helmet firmly in place. Thankfully he fell asleep on the way home so I had a chance to put up some decorations, cook the cake, make punch etc before his party guests arrived (his bro and big cousins!).

It was a lovely little celebration and we finished it off with another bushwalk just before dark.

Willy Wonka Wigs

That's Greg's Scattergories answer he gave for Something that is Black and expected 3 points for. We gave him the thumbs down but were willing to give him one point for "wigs" but he had a tantrum and wouldn't play anymore. Were we fair? I really don't know anymore. He's carried on so much about it since, I'm starting to doubt.

Well I turned 35 since I posted last. I'm a total old bag now (I just hope Greg doesn't catch on. On second thoughts, being pregnant, I'm just as much a total horn bag and he'd be mad to trade me in considering the X-rated treatment he's been receiving! I've morphed in to a complete porn star.)

Nick threw me a birthday party on Saturday night, so we had a weekend of family and friends and heaps and heaps of food!! We parked our caravan down there for the night. We towed it there the really, really long way so we could watch everyone we passed gaulking at it in amazement (well, that's how I interpreted their looks). And then Greg spent half the night taking all the relies for a grand tour (the whole two metres of it). It was cool fun. We had a fire and played Scattergories. Everyone bought me chocolates, (you'd be surprised how much respect you can get from teachers when you start handing around ferrero rochers at the staff meeting) and gave me wads of money - my Uncle Barry baked his generous donation into a loaf of bread! Greg even had some fire crackers, which nearly gave Grandad, who'd already gone off to bed, a heart attack, poor ole boy! Mum looked after all the kids at my place. Except for Anakin who partied the hardest in his spiderman costume with his new spiderman knik-kniks pulled up on the outside as superheroes do, entertaining everyone with his "moonwalk". (He's going through a very timely Michael Jackson phase and spends half the time either serenading people with "Smooth Criminal" or pretending he's a Michael Jackson poster by standing frozen in a weird pose.)

Anyway last weekend was awesome too.. We spent most of Sunday out at Dad and Di's. Greg and Dad had a few beers and tinkered around with one of the golf buggies until it was fixed. And I lit this humongous bonfire that was mostly covered with green stuff that only I could have ever got going without fuel.... Skilled. I know. I swear my belly grew heaps that day. The heat from tending the fire made it swell up like yeasty bread dough! That's how I baked up Anakin so good - I had so many bonfires to light after Cyclone Larry! And Saturday I took off nice and early all on my own. I had breakfast with my Grandad and caught up with my great uncle Dick. And then drove up to Cairns to shop for Anakins birthday presents. I was joined by my girlfriend and we both had a very gratifying splurge. I ended up buying Anakin that gorgeous wooden kitchen from Target. (I bought last seasons, because the colours where heaps more suitable for a boy and it came with all the dishes included unlike the new one which is mostly pink and your expected to buy the dishes separate. I got them to reduce the price for me coz it was from last year and the box was a bit shattered. So it was the one I wanted anyway AND a bargain.) He wants to be a "Cooker" too! And I got him one of those hero helmets that I think he's going to pee his pants over! Again I bloody searched high and low for one on spesh coz basically I'm opposed to paying full price for things. His favourite question lately (besides "Mum are we eating moo-moo?", "Are we eating maa-maa?" and ""Do we eat boc boc bagark!!) is, "What's under my skin?" So I bought him a well illustrated book on the human body and one about Australian birds too. He's right into his nursery rhymes and non-fictions that kid. Not so much the story type boy (except for Hairy Maclary of course).

I'm getting Braxton Hicks contractions really bad nowadays. A couple of nights ago I had them ALL NIGHT! And usually once a day I get heart palpitations too. Kinda makes me fall in a bit of a heap for a few minutes. Tomorrow I'm going for my first anti-natal appointment. I'm expecting them to book me in for my 20 week scan then, for the following week. Greg's still debating as to whether he wants to know the gender or not and I'm figuring I'll just have to go along with whatever he decides. But I'm hoping he'll take pity on me and ask to find out!!!! We think we're having another boy and have another cool "A" name picked out for him. And if it's a girl I think she'll be "Frances" because all the other cool names I love like "Columbine" and "Abra" he totally loathes.

Anyway I need to stretch out my belly on the couch for a bit so as Miss Bea Haven would say "Mas later bitches".

My boys

Anakin compliments and professes his heartfelt love and devotion to me all day long! He is just the most sweetest child. Greg insists that he coaches him on the quiet, but that's just a big fat lie - coz I reckon Anakin is about a thousand times sweeter. He says the most precious things like "Mum, you are the nicest lady I've never met" (except he means "ever met" of course), "You are my Love", "Mum, you are so soft and cuddly and squiggy and smoogy and SWEET!", "You're my beautifulest", "I'll look after you Mum" and of course "I love you SO MUCH". He is a total darling!!!

He's got some mispronunciations and funny made up words that I've been meaning to record too. He has real trouble pronouncing "breakfast" and has been calling it "breakwurfst" for a couple of years now, it makes us laugh every time he says it. He loves taking photo's and everytime he wants to snap one of us he goes "Smoto!", which basically means "smile for the photo!" It just seems logical to me so I use the expression all the time too.

Got to see Izzy for a brief minute or two tonight and gave him big cuddles (he is the opposite of Anakin and a total ambivalent cuddler, he just hangs there limply while I try wrap him up in my arms.) He's taller than me now! Which makes his cheeks in a real good spot for kissing. I'm not about to hold back my feelings - even if it does make him sqeemish! He just received a totally average report card! Yikes! He is not motivated for school at all that boy. He sends me texts from his school bus like "save me from the clutches of school" and "Not school! I'm going to cut myself!" He did get all A's for Info' Tech' - thank God, a saving grace. And he did well in Man' Arts too but otherwise there was just one C after another. He starts Agriculture next term, Home Ec' and Music too which I think will suit him. His books are so battered from being carted around in his school bag all year, I'm going to organise new books and folders for the new semester. YES! Stationary to shop for when I'm in Cairns this weekend. Not to mention my treasure box at school needs restocking.

I took my special needs kids for the last time today. I'm going to miss my Friday job. Working with small groups is EASY! I had my older boys make playdough today (you can turn a 'reading comprehension" lesson into anything! "Grammar" - not so much). I thought they might like to give it to one of the younger kids or a sibling but they were totally into it! They we're all like "Miss. Do we get to KEEP THIS??!! AWESOME!!" It's been charity work so far coz I haven't been paid as yet (the job bloody started last term!). I've been onto admin' and it looks like they're going to pay me all at once and I'll get taxed big heaps. Which is going to hurt. Well until tax return time anyway...

They say that pregnant women have lowered immunity but I reckon that's bullshit. I've usually got a forcefield of glowing health protecting me actually. Except I've had Greg coughing all over me for the last couple of months. And taking sickies and lying in bed for whole days at a time. (This is a picture Anakin took of him. He says "this is where Dad's being a sook".)
And now, I wouldn't go all out and say I'm actually sick, but I'm not entirely well at the moment. I've got this cough which gets you right in the gag reflex - you go from coughing one moment to gagging the next. I think that's what woke me up at quarter to 3 this morning... and now the sun should me coming up soon and I still haven't gone back to sleep. Plus we're spose to begin our drive to Cairns in about an hour. Better keep the panadols close today..

Dramas and the balm that soothes them.

Me and Greg have agreed that our relationship can't go on like this. We argue over the same shit all the time (Greg actually does some stuff around the place for the first time in a month or so and then he totally lords it on and takes the attitude that he can boss me around for how I spend my time, questions me about what I do with myself all day, how much housework I got done etc and then I threaten to kill him in his sleep if he ever mentions housework again unless he's outlining to me which jobs it is he's about to perform coz I'm actually the only one who does it, and that I never professed to be a friggen Stepford Wife and if it's one of those types he wants, I know a few, I'll point him in the right fucking direction.) And then it goes on. It's shockin'. It's pretty deeply entrenched behaviour and we'll need to work consistently at just easing up on each other and getting off one anothers' cases. Hopefully... I've just got the shortest fuse when someone is bossing me around and Greg seems to resent everyone who is not working hard when he actually is (for a change..). Anyway, hopefully better days are ahead.

Took the two kids for a shop yesterday. Me and Anakin picked Izzy up nice and early and then went to Maccas (just a short 45 minute drive away) for a hearty breakfast and a big play on the playground. (Anakin is getting much more cheerful and congenial towards other kids now thankfully, he was terrible for a while there - growling like a tiger at any kid who came near him; refusing to get out of the car if there was other kids in the park; telling me "Mum! Quick! Get away from those monsters!!", if we went too close to other kids with our shopping trolley! With much coaching he now sees them as potential play mates and smiles and asks names and is cooperative. Phew!) Then we took our time looking around the shops. I bought the kids new shoes and some warm clothes. And then we wandered around the pet shop and came home with the most adorable little guinea pig "Milo". She is so placid and a perfect pet for Bubby.
It was really nice being with my two boys, we had a lovely time together. We ended up taking cupcakes to Grandads, he was at golf but we saw Uncle Barry there briefly before he went to tee off as well. I'm so glad Grandad has his golf to keep him busy. (I think I've mentioned all them blokes on my Dad's side are all mad keen golfers.) It never matters too much if anyone's home there or not, the house is always open so we let ourselves in for a cuppa tea and a trip to the toilet and just leave a note.

We've spent a few afternoons at the block lately too which is always so good. We planted two bowen mangoes, a rambutan and two leopard trees. And today I bought a jaboticava to take out. We cleared the guinea grass right away from the trees and are in the process of cleaning up under the clump of guava trees. Soon I'm going to get a backhoe in to skim the top off the hill and level a house pad. Can't wait for that!!

Anyway I bought some aquatic plants for Anakin's fishtank at the markets this morning as well so I should go and sort them out. Catch ya.