This and that and whatnot.

Greg's gone back to work today >.< and I've been dreading it for the last 7 weeks! It's been productive and peaceful so far but it's not suprising that I've managed to: take Ting-Tang to the toilet several times and give him his bath, have a cuddle and a giggle and a chuckle and put him back to sleep, put some dishes away, wash up the rest, put on a load of washing, and one in the dryer, sweep the floor and get some pancakes into me all before 10 o'clock because Nick has my other two kids! It'll be a different ball game when they get home though - I bet!

We're going to miss Greg at home SO MUCH! He has been Anakin's big playmate all holidays and I hope he doesn't feel too neglected with just one, mostly preoccupied parent at home. Anakin has been such a beautiful big brother to Andre - he hasn't showed the slightest bit of jealousy or one inkling of spite AT ALL. All he has to say about Andre is "Mum, I CAN'T believe we've finally got our baby!" and "I love Andre SO much" and "Isn't he just so CUTE" ... I thought he might struggle with having to share his parents, but he is just such a loving boy, he's always giving us all big hugs and swooning "I love our family." I seriously don't know what I did to deserve that little boy ♥

I took Andre to school the other day to sit in on some professional development and to sort out the forms to move from a provisional to full teacher registration. (Man, I'll be celebrating with a beer when that comes in the mail!) André got passed around amongst the teacher aides and was mostly a quiet little boy sleeping in his stroller and having a feed. I still like to stay home mainly, but we are making progress from the days when he would scream relentlessly in his carseat on the way to the markets or Woolies and I'd be like "PLEASE REMIND ME TO NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN!!!"

I had my girlfriend Karen come and stay for a few days with her boy Jake. Jake and Izzy went to preschool together at Trinity Beach and she was my walking partner for a couple of years. She ended up moving to a beach further North and I ended up at a beach further South so we're miles away now but still try and catch up a couple times a year at least. She rides a Harley and is a prison guard, I told her she should do riot squad training and come back to sort my kids out for me ;) Jake has grown HEAPS - the boys are WAY taller than their mothers now. But they're still little shits ;) We got some tennis in while they were here. It's so good not to be in constant pain and to be able to run around again! (That pregnancy was HARD). But even with the heavy duty sports bras I'm still getting use to my big boobs. Greg reckons they're "happenin". I reckon he needs to take a photo coz they're not going to be around for ever.

I've got an interview with Cairns School of Distance Ed on Friday. I'm thinking I might home school Izzy. He got such a shocking report card last semester and it's not like he's stupid, he just thinks he know everything already! I lectured him for days over that report card, I was so upset with him. I told him he can't go around acting like he's smart and bring home marks like that! I sent him out in the yard over the holidays to give him a taste of menial labour and told him that's what he's got ahead of him if he continues on this road. He admitted it was pretty shocking and is going to try harder, concentrate more and be more organised this year. I told his dad that Izzy spending hours at home on his own in the afternoon before he gets home from work is not going to happen anymore. That he needs more supervision, more structure, more guidance... that he can come home to me in the afternoons where I will make sure he gets some decent food into him and supervise his homework etc. And then I'll drive Izzy down the road to meet him after knocking off work. Paul was ready to fob Izzy's bad results off saying "oh, you know, there's all sorts of people in the world, some people just aren't academic... ) And I'm saying "IT'S GRADE 8!!" And telling Izzy it doesn't generally get easier as you go along it gets harder! You need to put in the EFFORT now!!!! I was totally ropeable! (This is what I was dealing with two days after getting out of hospital.) Anyway I think Izzy appreciated my harder and MUCH more concerned stance on the whole situation and was very helpful and more respectful around here over the holidays so that's one thing. At the moment I'm sending him to school tomorrow to pick up his timetable so we can see if he got into the subjects he chose and collect some forms so he can sort out a tax return number (coz I'm sending him to work!). And then on Friday I'll have the home school interview, see if he can catch up on Japanese, which he is keen on taking... see how it all sounds. He is really keen on the home-school alternative and I like the idea of spending more time with him, I think it's much better for him here, being part of this family and being with his little brothers. I'm looking forward to getting stuck right into it with him and getting him up to speed with his schoolwork again and there's quite a lot of stupid shit going on at that school it wouldn't hurt him to avoid as well!

André is charging along! He's six kilo's now. He loves sucking his fist really hard - I think he's going to be a thumb-sucker as soon as he can co-ordinate himself. He still gets really flusted on the boob when my milk lets down, like he's half drowning. He pulls on and off and on and off and gets out of breath and grabs at me and claws. When he's not having these issues though he's such a sweetie at meal times. He has this little quiet moment of reflection before he attatches like he's saying grace. Sometimes he just licks at it like a little kitten. His eyes are still blue, maybe he'll take after Grandad "Frankie Blue Eyes".

You give me fever.

My little Ting-Tang is losing his hair! His hairline has been receding rapidly for about a week now - where once his peachy fuzz actually met his eyebrows now he's starkly bald all the way back to the middle of his head! He reminds me of all those girls who have spent their lifetime pulling their hair back too tight and end up with more forehead than is natural. I love his ginger nut and hope his lost hair grows back exactly the same!

We are starting to get beautiful smiles out of him now. Unlike Anakin who was born smiling, he has been a fairly serious little fellow and I spend all my time trying to get him to lighten-up. I munch on his little chinny and blow mini-raspberries under his neckle. Then I kiss his lips one at a time - first his top one and then his bottom. He sticks his tongue out and licks me. It's so funny. His smiles are just beautiful. Anakin gets them when he brushes André's hair (and scalp!) When Izzy's around André seems amazed with him, his gaze follows his biggest brother around the house and he tries to locate him whenever he hears Izzy's voice.

(I did get around to cutting Izzy's hair. And then I dyed the end of his fringe and the tips of the back black. I really liked the way it turned out - his hair is very dark so it's quiet subtle. Anyway should stave off his urge to get a facial piercing or ear plugs for the time being at least!)

Greg's got a real way with him too. Sometimes (like 4am this morning) I just can't settle him down, sometimes he just needs his Daddy's arms I think.

Or maybe just someone without milk pouring through their clothes to remind him of how full he is already! My sister has the knack. She puts the kibosh on both my little boys. She just makes all the grizzles melt away as they turn to putty in her hands.

As I hoped Anakin woke up after New Years Day right as rain. His beautiful eyes as bright as normal and his enthusiasm back with a vengeance. Except Andre suffered the same fever a couple days later and spent an entire day sleeping on one of us, boiling hot - so cruel in this already incredible heat. He whimpered in his sleep and everytime we moved him he screamed like his bones where broken :( how unbearably cruel for such a tiny little boy :( Thankfully he came good just as fast as Anakin :)

We've had an influx of visitors lately and it's been really nice. Kelly and her kids came to swim in the pool and eat sweet treats... Yesterday we had friends over with their first born of 9 weeks. The two babies had a nice chorus of squarks and squeals going on at times. It was funny. Poor little Jayden who's use to life inside an air conditioned house didn't know what was going on! He fretted and fussed until his mum put a wet washer on his head and put him directly under the fan - he passed-out in 2 seconds flat after that! I've used that little trick a couple times since! We've had Bowie over, a mate of Greg's who can talk about anything and is so easy going, you could adopt him into the family without a single hump. We've had René and Tiff and their kids, who are my family anyway, and who are always such a huge help with the kids. My old friend Tracy dropped in all glorified in her hotpants and diamante fuchsia heels. I said to her "Tracy have you had a boob job recently?" And she's like "No. They're just fantastic!! Aren't they fabulous?" She takes herself to restaurants for lunch and drinks cosmo's and salt n pepper calamari." She's a local but could have walked off the set of AbFab. She cracks me up. Big time. Then we've had Greg's parents the last few days too. And Greg's cousins here today. We're always catching up with friends and family - just about every dinner time! It's the holiday season alright - going on and on...

Speaking of which I need to go get ready for our dinner date at the resort! xxx Not that any food can be better than the breakfasts I've been eating all Summer. Check this out:

My bum hates me.

Yep. It does. Something's going on down there. Besides the fact that I almost have an anxiety attack whenever I need to do a number two - a lingering post-natal side-effect, reminding me how glad I am that I'm never going to use my body to push another baby out, ever again. Maybe they put a few stitches in my arse while they were down there - how lewd can I be, but seriously. Ouch.

André is fleshing out, with little ham hock arms and I can actually fit clothy nappies on him these days. Not that he needs them much. We go through WAY more nappies mopping up spewkies. We thought we were pretty good having Anakin on the potty at 3 months. André's 3 weeks and for the last week we have been holding him over the toilet for about 70% of his wees and 100% of his poos. He wiggles about in bed when he needs to go and just won't stop wriggling until I take him to the loo and then it's straight back to sleep. Little babies - they do those power squirts of milky curdles straight into the toilet bowl. We just say "Do a wee-wee. Do a wee-wee." And he concentrates real hard and grunts away until he's all done. It's all over in about 20 seconds and then we wipe his little butt with a makeup remover pad and off we go to put his dry nappy back on. Too easy - well not quite as easy as just letting him pee his pants I spose.

He had a few real squarky, fussy days there where I thought something I was eating might have been having an affect on him but I did a heap of reading and now that I'm a bit more aware of the whole fore-milk, hind-milk situation, I've been trying harder to get him through the whole foreceful letdown stage and persisting through to the hindmilk without swapping him over to the other one or figuring he's just frustrated by actually getting milk at all and wants to comfort suck on a dummy.. Now he's spewking up a whole lot less and settling a fair bit easier too, with a big full belly I hope...


Another thing that might have been unsettling him is that the humidity has been totally "off the chain" (I got that one from Izzy). I sit here at the computer with sweat rolling constantly down my chest. I wish I was like my sister - she never sweats. Not the faintest sign of a sweat moustache ever. Greg set up the pool with a shade sail and the kids have been having a riot in it every day.


I've got the carport set up nice with the comfy outdoor furniture and the camping mat on the ground, potplants hanging up, and the caravan is tucked up under the eaves out there, I've got a fan plugged in and Greg has his homebrew rum and coke on tap out there. We've got the life I tell you. I sit out there cracking macadamia nuts and doing crossword puzzles, with the baby snuggling in to me. It's the best. I'm not bleeding anymore so I can finally swim too. Though I usually opt for cold showers. I start off the day dressed. And then the shirt comes off. And then the pants come off. Poor Izzy has had to stomach his Mum getting around half the day in her bra and undies. I jump in the shower and walk around wet, until I dry out and then I do it again. Straight cold. That's all I've been using for ages. Not Izzy though coz he was complaining to me last night "I bloody hate this shower. I'm either freezing my balls off, or getting third degree burns!" He makes me laugh..

Anakin, the poor darling woke up all night last night and by this morning had a raging temperature. He reckons every time he shut his eyes he saw monsters and robots and a plane coming out of my poster. He was delirius the poor boy. During his garbled mummerings he still managed to tell me how beautiful he thinks I am. That child is a total angel I tell you! He ate orange and cherries and watermelon today and a few other bits and pieces. He picked up a bit during the middle of the day, but I think he got carried around as much as André today. Thankfully he's got two parents home! He's going to get his sickness out of the way real early this year and spend the rest of it in superlative health!

André's arrival.

Last Saturday I met with Nick and friends at the creek. Lumbering over toward them in the heat the girls took one look at me and together greeted me with a gasp and a "Oh, you poor thing!" This is a pic we took that day - the second last day I was pregnant with André Lennard. My darling little Ranga-tanga-ting-tang. My sweet little Gingernut. Yep that is a pattycake in my hand. As if I needed more help getting any bigger when I was carrying another 8lb 12oz baby inside my on-the-short-side 161cm body!

Sunday night, our same group of friends joined up at Nick's to share dinner. We ate Caesar salad and nori rolls, fried rice, bruchetta, potato salad and bbq'ed meat and followed it up with caramel tart and Jenn's fudge with cuppa's for dessert. (We eat like it's Xmas every bloody weekend!) I remember saying after dinner "Imagine going into labour this full of food!" And Nick commenting "You'd probably just throw it all up". (Didn't happen. My body wasn't wasting all that good tucker!)

Me and Greg had an argument on the way home so he went straight to bed sulking as soon as we got here. I stayed up looking at real estate and drafting blurbs for our property, (selling has been under discussion). I was sitting here at the computer suffering the most swollen itchy feet lamenting the fact that I could reasonably nag a person for a footrub who I'd just called a horrible pig and an idiot >.< Mum came down for a piece of fudge and a cuppa at about 10 and we yakked on for ages so it was a pretty late night for me.

I tossed and turned in Anakin's bed for the next hour or so, even though it's the comfiest in the house (not that he'd know that, he's always slept in our bed!). For the last few weeks, dreaming at night had pretty much come to a grinding holt, it was as if my thought processes had become monosyllabic or something, I had one thought, a monothought, all night, every night, my mind was fixated on the impending audible cracking sound of my waters breaking. But come to think of it, it couldn't have been the only thing in the back of my mind, there was the simple urge to get my rocks off, every now and again, and an orgasm is quite useful in getting off to sleep, ask anyone. Greg doesn't usually get any when I'm in a bad mood with him but I figured 1 o'clock in the morning when I was feeling a bit toey was a good a time as any to patch up a rift, so I tiptoed into his room and stood over the bed looking at him until he woke up. I did hold his hand tenderly as he was waking so he didn't get the wrong message and think some paranormal activity had possessed me, or maybe Mrs Bobbit. Anyway he hasn't knock back my advances yet and wasn't about to start so I lead him into the next room and, well, you know..

I was lying there a while later coming to terms with the 2 days left until André's EDD. Thinking, yeah I can wait that long, I'm feeling okay with that.. Greg was hunched over on the floor with a torch trying to trap a firefly in a jar when my nephew, who was staying with Iz in the caravan, walked passed and probably thought to himself "What the hell is he doing??"

Before Greg took himself back to bed he joked with me "We need a code word something to say: The Baby's Coming! How 'bout "peaches"?? I love peaches!" 5 minutes later I rolled over in bed and there it was, that deep internal thud that I had been anticipating for days!! I slipped out of bed and into the loo. Sure enough waters had started to trickle out of me. Greg appeared instantly with an expectant "Peaches??"

We still hadn't really decided where I was going to give birth!! But made up our minds pretty quickly after that to just go up the road to the local hospital. We rang ahead so they could get my file faxed down and the midwife I spoke to sounded great - down to earth, straight forward, unflustered. Over the next 20 minutes I fully saturated a few more sets of clothes while I threw a few more things into the hospital bags and ran off a hardcopy of my birth plan. Greg had a big bowl of cereal, and we called Mum to come down and sleep for the rest of the night next to Anakin. We also called Nick, so she would be here first thing in the morning so Mum could get ready for work.

We hung around for a bit. Mum talked us through a tutorial on her camera as ours was out-of-action after Greg jumped into the creek with it in his pocket on Saturday (our 2nd camera that was suppose to be waterproof, but wasn't!) Things didn't seem to be progressing as fast as they did with Anakin's birth. I was sad kissing Anakin goodbye because the poor boy had fallen asleep in the car to the sounds of his parents berating each other :( but hoped that by the time he woke up in the morning we'd have the much awaited news of his little brother's arrival to share with him and a big introduction to make :D. I tried to wake Izzy up in the van to let him know I was off to the hospital but, man, when teenagers finally get to bed, they sleep like the dead!

I had two contraction but otherwise tried to totally relax during the 15 minute drive into town, I hadn't really managed any sleep yet and knew I was going to need my energy before this night was over. We talked a little about possible middle names, another detail that was still under discussion but on a whole I fell quiet and introspective, readying myself mentally for the momentous physical and emotional rollercoaster ahead.

The midwife, Diane, greeted us and settled us into the birthing suite. She read through my birth plan and I was grateful when she had no queries or questions over my choices there. We got to know each other a bit. Turned out she also has a Grade 8er at Tully High and went to school herself with a couple of my Aunties and Uncles. (As has every other local between the ages of 70 and 40!) I talked her through my other two births and my expectancy of this birth proceeding similarly to Anakin's - fast and furious. I rubbed my belly and told her hopefully "but this ones going to be a bit nicer to Mummy". Greg took a couple of photo's before my belly (or half of it anyway) was gone, and I marveled over the little fella getting the hiccups for the last time in utero. Although I couldn't quite work out how there could be enough amniotic fluid left for him to drink!

Diane took herself off to fill in all the paperwork and I paced around willing things onward and outward! We'd arrived at the hospital at about quarter to 3 and I was giving myself until 7am to birth this little Bubba.

First stage of labour was turning out marvelously. I spent most of it in the shower with warm water pouring onto my lower back. I took in a plastic chair so I could lean over it with my hands bracing the armrests. I swayed my hips backward and forwards and focused on relaxing and "Baby down. Cervix open". I found myself worrying about how much water I was wasting! And between trips to the toilet to poo - throwing on the hospital gown just for the novelty of it - because I'd never worn one before! That's how easy it seemed! When Diane came to check on me I told her I was worried I was somehow hindering progress and maybe I should do something different - go for a walk around the hospital or something. She advised to stay where I was. That the shower was helping with pain relief and I could only be assisting progress by remaining on my feet and swaying my hips. That I was fine how I was! Greg kept asking if I needed anything and if there was anything he could do for me. I told him to lie down and go to sleep!

It took me a little by suprise when I noticed the sun was up. There was a gorgeous tree blossoming pink flowers taking up most of the space in the window and the rain was pouring down all over it. Beautiful. I was starting to think delivering this boy within my self imposed time frame was seeming a bit unlikely when contraction began to overlap and strengthen. I couldn't get through them quietly anymore and the moaning and groaning began in earnest. I laboured on for another 20 minutes before requesting an internal. Diane took her time getting to me, and busied herself getting things ready for the baby. I think she had a hands off philosophy and was sure I'd know insinctively when to start pushing, and I think I took her by suprise reaching transistion this quickly. Greg helped me get a beanbag onto the floor where I knelt on my knees (is there another way to kneel??) and we dragged an upholstered armchair up close for me to drape myself over and rest my head on between contractions. When that blessed internal finally came Diane announced that my cervix was fully dilated and it I felt pushy than go right ahead. I was determined to get this over with as quick as possible so with the next couple of contractions I did just that. Pushed hard. She encouraged me to put my fingers inside myself and feel his head bearing down on my cervix. I wish I had of given the moment I got to feel André's head for the first time, the attention and awe it was due, but I was kind of in the middle of something. After another push or two I apologised "I don't think I'm going to be able to push this baby out without doing a poo." She counselled me "Don't you worry about that, don't let that hold you back! You just push as hard as you can, right into your bottom." I listened to every word she said. When she said "Relax your shoulders." I relaxed my shoulders. When she said "I can almost see his face. Hold it there. We don't want you to tear. Take little breaths... little breaths... little breaths." I just puffed away in total agony, doing just like she'd asked. The next push and a huge roar, and his head was born, another push and another roar! and his sholders. The pain was excruciating as his body eased it's way out, so I gave him a helping hand with one final push just to finish the job. It was 6:15 - plenty of time to spare!

I was facing the wrong way and couldn't see a thing though. Greg got a hold of me under the arms to help lift me around to greet my little man. There he was a perfect little boy stretched out on the bean bag. So, so perfect. I couldn't believe I'd done it again - made such a beautiful little thing. I barely even realized the craziness going on around me. While I was twisting around to see him the umbilical cord had snapped in the middle and blood was pouring all over my legs and all over the floor. Greg got to cut what remained of his cord and then I had my first nurse! What a little sweet cake! His apgar scores where 9 and 10 and he was making wee little talking noises already.

News travelled fast and my BF was on the phone before third stage labour had even set in. With one visitor on the way already I figured it was time to request some syntocinon and get on with it. OUCH!! That injection HURT!! I complained loudly too, which was kind of comical considering what I'd just been through!

After our first, long, yummy, big, big cuddle, there was a change of shift and Greg and Wendy - our next midwife took André for a deep warm bath.


I took a chance to have my 20th shower for the day and get some fresh clothes on. Then I picked out Baby's first little outfit and wobbled my way up the ward to join them. He's was fast asleep in his tubby-tub. Nawwww.

We settled into our room and adored our baby together, before the boys came to meet their little brother, before the steady stream of family and friends began to arrive and while waiting for the doctor to finish his rounds and come and give me the three stitches I needed. That's what happens when you push out your baby in 6 MINUTES! The hospital staff kept popping in to tell me how "clever" I was. I don't know about clever, just determined to get the intensely painful bit out of the way asap!

Anyway this recount could go on and on and already I've been trying to finish it for like four days. He's two weeks old now and is just a perfect little thing. He sleeps extremely well, way better than the last two! He loves his Mumma's titty milk. He's just really calm and mellow and content. The boys are both totally besotted. Izzy's always asking to hold him and Anakin follows me around kissing every part of him he can reach!

I really need to come back soon and update on all the things that have been happening lately, but I'm really needing to wrap presents, grocery shop for Xmas, cut Izzy's hair... there's so many things that need to be done. Thank the Lord Greg's on holidays for the next 6 weeks. Woop Woop.

What say?

Anakin was lying on the bedroom floor practising his handwriting yesterday arve and I was lounging on the bed doing a crossword when I said to him hopefully "Your little brother might decide to come out one day soon". The next clue I had was 18 down: Late. Answer: Overdue. And then directly after that 23 across: Greatly. Answer: Very. Grrhh!! I can't stand the thought!

On the contrary I had regular crampy period-pain contractions that kept me up most of the night last night. Greg took the morning off to look after Anakin so I could go to another anti-natal appointment. Saw the midwife briefly. I'm still 63 kilo's - the same as 2 weeks ago. I guess Babyboy is sucking up all that butter I ate while hosting another of my morning teas for the girls yesterday. And all the dairy whip and maple syrup I eat on my pancakes on a regular bases. She didn't mention my blood pressure so I guess it was good. Then they sent me on to the doctor, news I met with a slight rolling of the eyes and a "I'm sure that's going to be really productive". Way to get everyone off side! He saw me for a total of about 2 minutes. I asked about my blood test results which he said were "all good". (Same very insightful report he gave me for my ultrasound scan.) I hopped up on to the examination table and instantly had a big BH tightening, giving my belly a angular warp, then he took a measurement of Bubby's head and told me it corresponded with a baby of 39 weeks and that he wouldn't be surprised if he came anyday now. That news would make me really hopeful, if I could actually trust the guy knew what he was talking about.

After my appointment I went and shouted myself some new bras, a maternity singlet and a new pair of jarmie pants - all heavily reduced I might add. Don't know why I'm such a die hard op-shopper at times?? It's so hard for me to track down a decent bra (in my opinion that means no underwire and no synthetic fabric, so... pretty limiting). But a couple days ago on the way up to Mum's to pick up some fruit, I'd warned Greg that I'd need to spent some money on new bras next time I was out, soon as I arrived Mum was like "I wanted to show you these." and pulled out these perfect cotton sports bra's! So she'd already done the sourcing and I new exactly where to go for them. We've been in tune like that lately.

Anakin won't let me out of his sight these days. He watched a tiny bit of The Grinch a week or so ago and it's totally messed with his mind. He won't go outside on his own, or even play in a different room of the house. We've tried so hard to undo the damage. We showed him pictures of Jim Carrey on the internet so he could see the dude that plays the character. Looked at other Dr Zeuss stories and explained him as the author of the book, the movie originated from. Explained to him that even if it was real, The Grinch is a Hoo and Hooville is a tiny speck on a clover on Mt Newl. Etc, etc. But now he's become paranoid about a whole plethora of other stuff. We take him to the toilet at night and he makes me check first that there's no giant guinea pigs popping their heads up at the window, then he worries he's going to fall in the loo with his poo! I tried to teach him to say "An irrational phobia" but it was a bit too much for him to wrap his tongue around.

Come on down!

Spent the day out visiting my cloistered-rainforest-dwelling father, so as a result Greg's crashed out on the couch after too many home-brews and Anakin's fast asleep after a day in the bush. I should be getting an early night too. Last night was a shocker! Total insomnia set in once again, at least I've had a few really restful nights lately after claiming Anakin's bed all to myself - the best ever mattress in the world!

I had a moment of clarity last night and decided, at the risk I've really crushing my mum-in-laws feelings, all I actually want is to stay home leading up to this birth. Greg doesn't finish up work until my actual due date and I don't want to be away from him at all! I don't want to risk not being able to get hold of him at work when it could take him up to 2 - 3 hours to get up there anyway! He could quite possibly miss everything! I don't want to be without him in the afternoons, when my back is usually at it's worst and I need his help with Anakin. I don't want to have to pack up all the stuff Anakin and I are going to need for an extended stay, the Bubby's gear, hospital bags... The stupid staircases I'll need to climb 50 times a day with my even more stupid, pelvic joints... I can never sleep properly when I'm up there and that's enough of a problem here! I don't mind if I end up in the local hospital, it's just 15 minutes away and it's where I was born - can't be that bad! It's not like I'm high risk and need a bigger facility, I just chose Cairns Base because that's where Greg's family wants me to be! Plus I'd rather Baby's first car ride a short drive straight home! If Greg starts his holidays and I'm still preggas (please God, No!) then we can re-evaluate things from there. But otherwise the oldies can stay here with us or Nick has said they're welcome at her place. I just need Greg to break the news coz I'm too scared. (The bastard's like "Don't worry, I'll manufacture any lies you want me to"!! As if I don't feel bad enough!)

Up until a few weeks ago I was getting slightly hysterical whenever I thought about giving birth to another of Greg's huge boys. But now my perspective has shifted - this pregnancy is punishing, my body's debilitated (this f*cking computer chair doesn't help matters) and I cry myself to sleep feeling totally flogged out, all I'm going to be is full of elation when I finally hear that odd cracking sound as my waters break. I'm going to be singing-out Bring It On!! I want my baby safe and sound and I want my body back to normal!

Belly-belly

These were taken a couple of weeks ago at my IL's.

This one was taken this arvie. One day I'm complaining I need hospitilization and a wheelchair the next I'm mowing the lawn - no wonder I don't get taken seriously.