Thursday, August 30, 2007

Can U Feel My Pain?

I went out to dinner with 16 other women last night. Man, it was like some kind of peculiar punishment for an introvert like me. Besides the fact that I was trying to manage a headache and doing my utmost to avoid vomiting my dinner back up into my plate.

I’m not really into amping up my volume and the outrageousness of my stories to compete for the attention of the throng. I find holding the attention of a crowd somewhat daunting so I don’t even try – I much prefer to talk to one person at a time.

The plan is to make it a regular gathering and do the local restaurant circuit so I’ll get a chance to practice a bit more, maybe I'll get better at it. They all seem like really nice ladies and I plan on taking Anakin to join in their mothers group and maybe Kindamusik too. (If I can brave leaving the quiet, secluded comfort of my own home. (Jokes.)

Might help if next time I get a few beverages into me to act as a social lubricant – last night just the thought of a drink threatened to tip me off into a full blown migraine. Not helped by the fact that I was sitting next to the most toasted and animated character there. 16 women can make a lot of noise!! Grind grind.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Threatened Breakdown

Okay so I admit to treating Greg for his birthday and eliminating some of the excess growth down in my sexual regions – except I did it with a razor – and now I regret it! Itchy, itchy, itchy! I’m squirming around like I’ve got crabs! Oh well – he appreciated it for the whole hour or so that it was silky smooth…

He loved his real birthday present too – I bought him all the kegs and taps and regulators and starter kit that he needs to begin brewing beer, so as well as distilling his own alcohol, in a month or two he’ll also have his own beer on tap! We might as well have a funeral for his liver right now. Even though I feel like an accessory to its inevitable demise (I think his next gift to me needs to be a life insurance policy) Greg reckons it was the best present he’s ever got. Ever. So that was good.

Plus I made him a big batch of rocky road thinking that it was his favourite goody. Turns out it’s not his but his brothers, luckily he was here anyway. I was reminded that it’s apricot balls and jelly that’s actually Greg’s favourite so made him those as well. (If his liver doesn’t kill him the sugar diabetes will.)

Anyway he had a great weekend celebrating his 27th birthday. (I got a call from a payphone at about 2.30 on Saturday morning “We fell asleep on the beach. Please come and pick us up!) They followed that night out with a fishing trip to the reef and a couple more stints down at the resort. By this time I’d felt like I’d been left with the sole parenting duties far too many weekends in a row and cracked the sh*ts and threatened a nervous breakdown if I didn’t get some time to myself. Bubby has been going through this really bad phase of biting and scratching and pinching and fighting off my reaction to give him a little smack was nearly doing my head in.

So come Sunday I had some much deserved time to myself.I went to the markets in the morning and forced myself to stay longer than I actually wanted to and then I caught up with my sister and some girlfriends at lunchtime for a girly catchup. (One of them is going to get me a heap of gum tree seedlings from a tableland nursery on Tuesday so I can plant a gum tree grove on the block! Awesome!) Then I had a beverage with my wonderful neighbour in the arvie.

Last night we went to the bistro for my brother’s birthday too, so yet another weekend has passed where I’ve eaten way too much! Oh well. Food’s good.

Anakin doesn’t need anything to help pull himself to standing anymore. He can just hop up where ever he is and start walking! It’s shocking to look up and see him toddling toward me. His brother is that proud of him too!

He loves to take us by the hand and walk us all around the yard. He goes for the most challenging rugged route too. Up over the banks and through all the branches of the fruit trees. Through green ants nests and over the gravel drive. He climbs the almost vertical bank to get up to the shed where he goes straight for the dog bikkies, he dunks them all in the water bucket until they’re good and soggy and then transfers them all back again while snacking on a couple! YUCK!

Do you ever have dreams where you morph into someone else? Or the opposite gender? I do it all the time. Last night, half way through my dream I turned into Elemental. (Yep, I’m one of those ones that dream about people from EB that I don’t even know) - Something really disturbing had happened in my relationship that motivated me to pack up my old life. I was rifling through drawers and putting all these gorgeous frocks and those red shoes into a big bag! It was weird having girls in my dream and not boys, I won’t go on coz it gets even weirder. Please tell me I’m not alone.

My Baby, and hers




Anakin is walking heaps everyday now, but it’s definitely not his most preferred choice of mobility yet. He looks so adorable lurching along with his hands outstretched looking like a little zombie baby.

He’s using a few more words too. Every time he sees a cuppa he says “Hort” (hot) in this real low, german sounding way. He imbues it with so much meaning. Another one he likes to use is “Dadd-o” but he not only uses it for Dad but duck and sheep and all the other animals in his books. He likes to play peek-a-boo games but the way he says “BOO!” isn’t the usual way, he drags it right out with a little inflection on the end so it sounds more like a question – it’s so gorgeous.

He’s preferred his books over all his other toys lately too. His favourites are those with real or life like pictures of animals and farm stuff. (He goes red in the face making this very convincing roaring noise for the lions and big cats…and geese and wallabies, it sounds painful like he’s going to damage his larynx!) And he loves lift and look books.

And finally he can give proper little kisses now! Not big slobbery ones that end in getting your lips bitten!

We had an excellent weekend as usual. Took the boys in to basketball Saturday morning and I tried not to spend too much money at the bakery. (I’m addicted to Palmiers.)

By the time we got home I had some distinguished visitors arrive – time to whip up some sweet muffins and whip out the royal vale tea-set. I love tea parties! My GF showed me pictures of her recent trip to Melbourne to see The Cure (lucky,lucky,lucky!) and her fabulous man took all the kids down to Izzy’s school fete for a run-around so we could catch up without 53 thousand kids in the house. (Legend!)

My brother rocked up for a visit and helped Greg fix up some plumbing problems we’ve had out in the yard – he ended up staying the night too along with my niece who came to have monopoly wars with Izzy.

Come 4o’clock me and Iz had to head back down to the school to do our stint at the “side-show-alley”. We were in charge of the “Slap-in-the-face-with-a-wet-Sponge” game. That was fun. We made huge business when the kid from next door stuck his head through the hole – everyone came flocking in from miles away! Mmmm – saying something?

Sunday was just as good except Greg had to work. Me and Nicholas and the kids met Nick down at the markets to do the vege shopping. We stopped and had cuppas and cake at the Churchy stall. (They do good business out of us!) Saw some teachers who made comments like “I heard you were taking E’s class next year. Are you sure you only want to do one day a week? Are you sure you don’t want to do two days for me?” So it sounds like work will definitely be coming my way. Good good!

The rest of Sunday was spent making a trifle for Family Night. (I had to google Trifle Recipes and guess where it sent me? – Right back to EB!) I wasn’t really sure what I was doing but it turned out yum anyway. I made custard for it and jelly, I put in sponge and tinned berries and peaches and finished it off with whipped cream and crushed walnuts. Mmm-mm. I don’t know how we fit it in after grilled fish, pasta with veges and raw baby spinach, avocado, cucumber salad, roast potato, sweet potato, taro, squash, capsicum, zucchini and hot bread rolls. We eat like bloody Kings and Queens – I tell ya!

Then we had to race home so me and Mum could watch Kath & Kim. The rest of ‘em hate it.

I can’t stop thinking about this artist I saw on “Artist at Work”. Her name was Linde Ivimey. She collected all these bones from her property and out of their meals and scrubbed them right up to use in her artwork. She made these freakish Voodoo doll looking things. She moulded and carved their feet and then worked on them from there up. She dyed all the fabric for their garmets and made little pouches and shangai’s and bone necklaces for them and stuff. She used feathers and bit’s and pieces of everything. She didn’t like commissioning too much because they were all like her babies. If she wanted to keep one of them she’d do something like stitch the key to her front door into it’s stuffing so it’d find it’s way back home.

Her sculptures/children/whatever-the- heck-they-were were described as having talismanic powers and I wouldn’t be at all surprised, the amount of devotion she put into them. Except that they were these nightmarish looking freaky things that’d make kids go running away screaming! Her first exhibition was sold out. I suppose by all those same people that watch SAW and CSI.

Wedding Bells

Well I didn’t get my Posh Spice haircut – came away looking more like Katie Homes – a like a sexed up librarian look but this is just too Nanna-ish for me! It’s like a dud version of my last haircut – looked alright while she was doing it but once it fully dried I was like Blurk! I hate looking so conservative – it doesn’t suit me at all!

The wedding was huge and beautiful. Having had such a term of abstinence I was drunk with my first glass of wine and very excited to be catching up with so many of the old crowd.
The only part that I struggled with was keeping quiet through all the teary speeches – it was a bloody big bridal party – it took ages! I mean it was my first night out without Bubby ever! It was all about me! They could’ve been a bit more considerate! Geez. (Jokes Kayce - it was awesome!)

No wonder I can’t even appreciate the basic rituals of a wedding – my life is basically void of them! Watching stuff on SBS about more traditional cultures has got me thinking about the limit of ritualized activities in our society (based on spiritualism and family values – not drinking alcohol or smoking or having cups of tea!). If you’re not religious like my family and don’t engage in things like christenings and baptisms and debutants, there just aren’t any. No wonder I feel like there’s big holes in areas of my life!

I think, as heads of the family, Greg and I are going to have to decide on some things that are important to us and try to consistently work them into our lives that build us strong as a family unit – rituals (if you can call them that) that build on from things like Family Night and No TV Day – that the kids can count on happening at a set time. Regular things like a bonfire night and special stuff like a weekend on a houseboat or something – that might only happen once in a year or two. We can build up traditions that are just for the family and then have stuff that always involve friends or something that is just for me and Greg or Greg and the boys. Poor little scamps don’t exactly have much of a spiritual foundation with me as a mother – I have to do something to give them a sense of connectedness!

Big news! Anakin took his first toddle on Friday! 5 or 6 steps in a row – what a champion! Except he hasn’t shown any real interest in extending himself since then. He’s been acting like his mum though and has been really extending himself in the area of digestion.

We took him to the Newlyweds Barbie on Saturday and he put away whole sausages and potato salad and noodles, and that came after his eating binge during the morning on kiwi’s and stickyrice and avocado and pizza! What a little porky pie!

For Ever? For Ever Ever?

I’ve got the biggest guts and I just keep on stuffing it with food. I’ve always maintained that never having been on a diet has worked in my favour – I’ve actually trained my body to plough through the huge truck loads of food I shovel into it, it knows it’s never going into starvation mode, therefore never really learnt to store much energy as fat. But I’m afraid I’ve pushed that theory a little bit too far. I think the muffin top I’ve cultivated in the last year or so would but Kimmy’s to shame!

Nevermind, I had unbelievably hot sex with my man twice in two hours last night and he thinks I’m frickn awesome!

We’re heading up to Cairns for this wedding tonight and I have a hair appointment booked in (thanks to late night shopping) at 7. I’m toying with the idea of going heaps shorter. Something a bit spunky and sassy. Something a bit Posh Becks (‘cept my hair’s curly). I dunno. Ideas??

I just made myself cry jotting down a few notes to help Greg with his speech. These guys are going to make a beautiful Man and Wife. Maybe they’ll be the perfect married couple that will restore my faith in “for ever” COME ON!!

Bump

The little fella from next door let himself in the house while I was outside yesterday arve. I came in with the washing and closed the sliding glass door after him. He got up to leave while I was putting my basket down and smacked his head right into the door – it cracked the entire pane from top to bottom and out to both sides! It knocked him flat on his back! The lump that came up on his forehead looked like a cartoon one! Silly little sod! I felt terrible because he probably remembered leaving it open!

That doorway is bad news for the neighbour’s kids, the older brother was here the other day – tripped out the doorway (I did have him by the back of the neck…) and sliced his toe open on a bit of flashing that shouldn’t have been there! I had to administer first aide as his blood leaked all over my pavers! My kids just aren’t accident prone thank God!

My fellow SAHM next door finds it very strange that I have both the kids’ dads here at the same time. She couldn’t imagine it. But Greg is a very cool guy and has never made an issue of having Paul come here to spend time with Izzy. I’m very thankful for that – I’ve got his complete trust and he knows where my heart lies I make sure of that!

Anakin is cutting another top tooth which explains why he refuses to hop off the boobie all night long.

Went and had a lovely breaky at the local markets and meandered around with Mum. Bought some spuds and eggs and some greens and looked at some jewelry to accessorize my outfit for the wedding. Saw some beautiful wooden toys that I would have loved to buy for Anakin and just the most adorable little girls cotton set with tunic top and matching dudies – white with Botichelli looking angels all over – I would have loved to hang in my cupboard for little “Oprah”. But my catch phrase of the day was “I’m on a budget”.

Last night we had the opportunity to attend our mate’s 50th masquerade party at Wongetti Beach, a pig on a spit at the BIL’s or a “Dancing Girls” hens night (just me) at Casa De Mez (and everywhere else in town.) But Greg volunteered himself at work for both Saturday and Sunday so we can keep the dream alive. Poor guy. I’m a bit dirty on myself - when I go out to do the grocery shopping I end up including things like: a sim card for one of our phones, a little diamond earring for my tragus, (besides a ring Greg bought me it’s the only piece of jewelry I wear!) A gold earring for Izzy, expensive powdered mineral foundation and Joico shampoo and conditioner.

Plus I recently had to fork out for rego, a root canal and Greg’s $370 birthday present! (He’s goin’ to love it!) I need to get a grip on myself!

Greg’s been talking about budgeting for ages but I’m the reluctant one (maybe it’s got something to do with me not even having to work for my money.) I worry that budgeting results in stinginess and I can’t stand stinginess. I love to pick up cakes if we are visiting, I love to shout cuppas and not have to worry about whether the budget accommodates.

But realistically I’m sure I can live with bad hair from cheapie shampoo and still manage to share a pastry. God, I used to live on bugger all – it should be quite familiar!

Carnies

We’ve just gotten back from the Izzy’s interschool sports carnival. We all dressed in blue and took our blue bear with blue ribbons to wave in the air while we hollered “Go Izzy! Go Izzy!!” He’s not the most athletic kid in the world but he did bring home one blue ribbon for file gap pass. Hurray!! Me and his dad argued about whose genetic material was dominant as we checked out his high jump style (mine) and watched him pull his duds up round his armpits so they wouldn’t knock the bar (his).

Oh and I forgot to say that we spent family night last Friday at the show. It was awesome. Anakin, who usually hates sitting in his stroller was quite content there because there was so much to look at. We took him to see all the chookies and parked ourselves where all the kids screamed by overhead on the nauseating rides. We ate fish sandwiches for dinner and waffles for dessert. We bought a flashing fan for Bubby, showbags for Izzy, toasted marshmallows for me (they all melted at the sports carnival today) and a beer for Daddy.

My brother in law took a portfolio of photo’s of all the Carni’s. (One of his favourite shows is Carnival, bested only by the Soprano’s) I hope he took one of the beaded lady that served me a waffle and the skinny little Cleatus that ran the dodgems. Which, I might add, I’m sporting great tennis ball sized bruises on my knees from! During my shoe-expedition the following day I was lurching around with these crippled knees from too many head-ons in the dodgems.

I hate my girlfriend’s new electronic scales. They suck. On the positive side they scared me into starting to actually exercise. My neighbour has graciously invited me to use the treadmill in her upstairs bedroom. (I’d use the spinner in my own spare room but then I’d have to confront the mounds of washing that needs folding up. It’s much better over there – if there is any housework to do it’s not mine! Plus she’s always up for a good girlie chat afterwards, about kids and childbirth and sex and clothes and shoes…) In two more days I will have broken my last record of exercising three times a row! Golf clap!

Shoetopia

I spent hours this weekend perusing shoe shops. Now I see what the shoe fetish is all about. I understand. I found myself zoning in on all the furry tactile shoes that look like they’ve been designed by a Surrealist fashion designer like Elsa Schiaparelli or that person that designed the furry teacup.

(How much have Big Brother contestants overused the word "surreal" over the years? Can't they think of something else to describe their experience?! I will never use that word other than to reference the art movement as long as I live.)

And I loved some of the vintage style pumps. God – there’s some sexy shoes out there. I think I’ve mentioned I’m typically a sneakers kind of girl. I’ve got silver ones and gold ones – I like teaming them up with knee length skirts. I think I’m one of the few people who think sneakers and skirts work. And I’ve rediscovered my cherry docs lately too – you can shop all day without getting sore feet in those old beauties. But I have branched out to include some silver roushed ballet flats and the comfiest pair of red and white “Swimming with Sharks” and a pair of black Chinese Laundry boots that make me look like I should be in a Brothers Grimm fairy tale.

Anyway I’m very happy with my purchase – a pair of pewter supersoft Dianna Ferari’s. They are closed in and pointy with pleats and a kind of frilled effect, they have a closed in heel with one ankle strap and a tiny little heel. They’re lovely and feminine. I tried them on for Greg and he told me “You’ve got good-lookin’ feet Babe”.Now I just need to find something to wear that will match my new shoes and I’ll be all set for this wedding.

Actually not quite – I desperately need a haircut!

Wow just read the thread on digital clocks and I’ve been seeing 11:11 for years. Actually I was recently thinking I would email my old friend and ask him if he still sees 11:11 too – he’d have some numerological explanation for how it is the vibrational gateway to a higher plane of existence or something similar. (He was always right into numbers, they had a significance to him that I was reluctant to acknowledge. We shared many a freaky experience, me and him.) How’s this – I was at my niece’s birth the day I became an Aunty for the first time – she was born at 11 past 11 on the 11th of the 1st! That was one of the most incredible days of my life!

Actually when you look at mine and my DS1’s numerological birth numbers they are identical. I was starting to get fussy with numbers when it was closer to Anakin’s birth date too – I really wanted him to be born on an odd number like all the rest of the family, and one that cancels down to an odd number as well – I got lucky – he was born on the nineteenth – that cancels down a one.

I think my old boyfriend rubbed off on my more than I like to admit!

Ch-ch-ch Changes

I took Bubby in to town yesterday and we bumped into Daddy!! at the end of the grocery aisle. I love seeing him in public places when I’m not expecting too. His familiarity and gorgeousness takes my breath away. He’s like a big beautiful Adonis (if Greeks could have red hair). He’s majorly spunky in his work gear, makes my stomach do a flip flop just thinking about him. Luckily for me he thinks I’m a little spunk too.

He is about to make a change and is going to take a job offer as a boilermaker with the contractors of a huge Main Roads project here that runs for three years. The pay is comparable to mine work so he’s really keen to whack a lot of money on the house and block (I love saying that!). The hours are really long and he’ll be working eleven days on, three days off for eight months of the year. We’ll miss him heaps in the arvies, I really like his hours at the moment but he’s sick of the hierarchy bullsh*t that goes on where he is and being treated like an apprentice when he’s capable of so much more. He’s going to be doing heaps of interesting structural work and have heaps more challengers and job satisfaction if he changes. Plus they put away a percent of his wage and at the end of the contract he’ll get a big redundancy package.

We’ve got a wedding coming up on the 10th and I’ve been sending myself crazy trying to find a pair of navy coloured boots! Aughr!! Futile I tell you! Greg’s going to the buck’s party this Saturday night, I’m a little bit envious coz I haven’t been nightclubbing since the night I had implantation bleeding in the toilets at SoHo’s (I knew it!!). So he’s agreed to giving me a kid free Saturday morning to have another go – I’m going to check out the Pier this time and all the other atypical shoe shops I can find in the whole of Cairns!

Izzy’s Dad is flying up for a gig in Cooktown this weekend so we’ll be bringing him home with us on Sunday and he’s going to stay for a week before he goes back to Sydney. That and the show tomorrow night Izzy has a lot to look forward too!!

We bought a game of Scrabble to entertain ourselves during No TV Day. After winning the first game I planned on never letting anybody else win EVER! Greg currently beating me (the shame!!) but the game’s not over yet!

One

My littlest fella Anakin has turned one! He has had such a brilliant healthy and happy year. He’s a little giggly gurty, full of spunk and adventurousness. He’s smart and strong.

We had a Teddy Bear Picnic down at the park with just the close relies to celebrate. We ate and ate – savoury muffins, cheese and ham scrolls, marshmallows, cherry ripe slice, caramel tart, sponge cake… We blew bubbles and coloured-in. Anakin had an exciting time on the playground digging in the sand and watching the parachuters land on the beach. After the park we packed up and went to Nick’s (they sold their sprawling 200 thousand square meter house and now live packed into a two bedroom townhouse). Anakin absolutely beamed as he sat on the table with everyone singing him “Happy Birthday”. His bruss helped him blow out the candle, a coupla times.. Then we watched the digital photos Mum took in Europe, ate some more...drank more cuppas.

I was having this irrational phobia that he was going to hurt himself on his birthday and have to spend it with a big sore lump on his head or a black eye or something but it was one of those perfect days. (He did chip his tooth on the tow ball of his Uncle’s Jag, but it didn’t hurt!)

A year old and he has six teeth, weighs 10.5 kilos and is about 78 cms tall. He spots “birdies” from a half a mile away. (I was starting to think he just called everything “Birdie” but sure enough when I squint carefully in the direction he’s pointing there’s always one there on some tucked away branch at 60 paces.) His other favourite words are “Izzy” and “WhatzSa?” He’s done all his poos in the pot since he was about 4 months old and gets taken to the potty in the nighttime for his widdles too, so lots of dry nights starting to happen now.

He still sleeps with us and he still has the boobie all night long. I don’t think he’s going to give that up anytime soon! (He’s got this awful habit of working his way through my undergarments to get to my other nipple which he tweeks and pinches and yanks – it drives me nuts – it feels terrible and it hurts!! He thinks it gets the milk flowing faster but it tortures me. No matter how hard I clamp it down underneath my forearm or my hand he wriggles his fingers in there to get at it. It’s a wonder I can relax enough to have the milk let down at all!)

He needs bathing and changing so many times a day – he gets that grubby cruising around outside. I’ve gurnied and tidied up the carport so much that it doesn’t interest him anymore and he tries so hard to climb up the bank to the real shed. He loves his Dad and his Dad’s shed!He’s absolutely gorgeous!

He blows us away!