Sunday, April 20, 2008

Well then, if that's how it is..

Okay so I was hoping to spark some controversial opinions on my last post, at least to have someone tell me to get over myself and stop being such a juvenille about it all, or some relatives filing defamation suites against me. Anyhoo - It's still warping my mind a bit when I think of it - I'm suppose to get one brother-in-law from my sister and one from Greg too, but they're not suppose to be the same guy!

Watched the Wicker Man last night, it wouldn't have been so bad if you couldn't see the ending coming from a mile away! Nicholas Cage seems to put this comical element into everything, he's funny. I reckon he just took the part so he could work alongside a bunch of ladies for a few months.

I've discovered a massive molar right in the back of Anakin's mouth. I was wondering why he had become a little cantankerous and whingey of late. He did a random spew and had a runny poo and I still didn't catch on. Poor little man.

Izzy is starting to become affected by hormonal changes with a few little break-outs on his skin. He reckons there's only two ways to go through adolescence - to become an "achied-up Greasy" (a larger built boy that suffers from exessive grease and pimples) or a "Beep-diddily-dee-dum-Potatoes" (ya have to say that one in a squeeky Irish accent, and that one means you get to be a wee little pale weakling with baby smooth skin. He personally prefers the first option and rejects my hygeine advice and offerings of skin care products.

Speaking of skin care - I've just gone for a consultation for IPL permanent hair reduction. I tell you I was already tired of being a hairy little baboon about 15 years ago! And if Greg gets to dip into our home equity for a new boat, I'm doing something for myself too!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Get this..

So, the birthday party the other night spelt the beginning of the end of a 14 year old relationship. Hardly worth it. My babysitter is now, (I'm making it official right here), smoozying-it-up with... wait for ... my brother-in-law! Blurgh!

From my perspective, I'm finding it a bit of a challenge to process. Can you tell me how you'd feel if your sister suddenly started getting it on with the only other man in the whole world that shares the same genetic make-up as yours (and the one that's been yours for the past 7 and a half years). It's just plain weird. And she doesn't acknowledge that it might be weird for me. She just says "I don't care. Get over it."

I can understand that the relationship she was in had kind of run it's course. But man I wish she'd take some time to look a bit further-a-field. I feel like my family circle is going to implode on itself. I want it to expand, not friggin retract! It's all too incestuous for me. I think I'm gunna hurl up my dinner.

But to balance out that little spac-attack let me just state that she is the most caring and nuturing and loving and devoted Auntie little Anakin could ever want for. She admits to sounding like a broken record the way she raves about him and tells me how she loves him SO MUCH!! Hang on.. maybe there's another whole angle why she's on with his Uncle...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

A Typical Morning

This morning was fairly typical of most of my others. It began with me worrying about the juicy zit Greg had to close in on to give my face some kisses before he left for work. I actually manage to pry my eyes open to smile at him as he disappears out of the bedroom door. After another half hour or so of dozing Anakin is grinning in my face saying, "Hello. Morning." We replace his bedsocks he lost during the night and then go for a visit to the potty. My kidneys ache a bit from being fed off all night and not enough fluids yesterday.

Anakin gets fed his Vitabrit in front of The Wiggles. He makes me fast forward all the animated bits to get back to the real deals. Izzy gets himself some Vitabrits for breakfast and is roused on for not rinsing up his bowl afterwards and for leaving the cereal box on the bench yet again and gets told if dividing all his spare time between episodes of Naruto on the computer, stints on the X-box, ABC viewing and games on his Nintendo DS, is going to turn him into an R-tard who can't remember to follow the basics of life I'd find a way to turn his attention to more useful things.

I snack on some persimmons in between putting on the washing and colouring in with Anakin.

Then, as has been happening for the last 11 years me and Iz get the urge for the loo at the same time, he gets there first and I whimper and sweat and shout encouragement at him from the hallway, and give him a few descriptive visuals as to what state I'm in while wishing we had a bigger house with two loos. He gets the giggles and then abuses me when I can't help but poke my head in to see what stage he's at.

After getting some relief there, I ring the Chiropractor and reschedule my second appointment. (My babysitter has suspiciously gone back to Cairns.) Anakin and I pull on our gardening boots and head off outside.

We wander down to straighten up the wheelie bin. (Another job Izzy has done a hundred times but still hasn't quite got the hang of.) A tractor comes along to slash the opposite block so that gives us something to look at while Anakin squelches around in the puddles. I check the mail - a reminder from the Queensland Government to have another pap smear, and a bill from Optus for $3.33, when I don't even use them as a provider...very strange. The mower man comes to look after the neighbours yard so that adds some interest as well - machinery everywhere - just what little boys love.

We let out the ducks and chooks, Anakin harangues them and gets blamed for the fact that they haven't started laying any eggs yet. We change their water, feed them the fruit and vege scraps and decide if we fill up the wading pool we might be able to watch Cadbury and Caramello having a swim. So we do, but they don't. Well not yet anyway.

Bubby eats all the mulberries on the tree, then we pick a couple of mandarins to eat and check for ripe pumpkins. Izzy comes out and joins us every so often, when he can prize himself away from an entertainment screen.

Bubby eats his mando's while sitting up on the trampoline and I do some weeding around the front of the house.

After he finishes his mandarin he decides some coconut milk would hit the spot so we head up to the shed to crack one open. I use the machete to open a coconut while Bubby tries to catch March flies to feed the Golden Orb spider. Bub drinks his coconut milk, plays on the ride-on and mozies around the shed while I try to plow through the last of the dogs dreadlocks with a little pair of scissors that aren't really cut out for the job - something I've been trying to finish over the last three days. Mum pulls up to ask if I want anything in town as she's going in now to buy a new galvanised trailer, I say no, me and Izzy are going late night shopping in Innisfail to get the groceries when Greg gets home from work. She advises me I need some shears.

I shampoo the dog three times and berate myself for allowing him to become RCPCA Rescue material. Anakin and Izzy play in the car and in the cubby.

I strip off the pyjamas I've been wearing while doing all of the above. And try to rid myself of that flea bath smell. Anakin advises me it's Titty Time, so I lie down to put him to bed. My milk doesn't even let down so it takes awhile to stealth away from him and out of the room. But I eventually manage. I make myself a pot of green tea and help myself to the last profiterole. I watch the end of an episode of Naruto with Iz. I claim the computer for some Me Time so Izzy rides his BMX up the road to see if his mate's home with flat tyres. I write Pump Connector Hose on the shopping list.

Now I'm tapping out this post, (about 12 hours from when I started it - that me time only lasted a fraction of what I would have liked it to). My wrist is straining from the shock of playing tennis yesterday and I'm wishing there was more profiteroles to eat.

I could give you a blow by blow of the PM but it would get a little Anais Nin-ish towards the end. Might spare you this time ;)

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Gunna party like it's your birthday.

The party Friday night was a good laugh (although I have my suspicians my babysitter may have gotten drunk and had an affair while she was minding Anakin). Everyone was dressed up. The birthday girl was at her absolute best looking exactly like Bjork in a multi layered frou-frou and matching blue false eyelashes. And then there was the two girls in puffy taffeta gowns and tiaras, who, had I have pointed out to them, looked tragically like Courtney Love probably wouldn't have hated me any more than they did after I told them I'd single handedly throttle them both if they continued to program B52's and Roxette, but only because considering their music savvy I doubt they would have known who I was comparing them to. We had a yummy feed. And after four or five drinks I was singing power ballads with the best of them. "Wonderboy. What is the secret of your pow-er?" The boys had drums, guitars and amps and mikes set up in the house and because the Birthday Girl had done the courtesy round of the neighbourhood, giving them plenty of warning of the impending rowdiness, there wasn't even a single complaint. On second thoughts maybe it was just because we sounded so good. :P

I put what should have been "Iced Chocolate" into my hair before the party but it came out looking like a black mulberry so I've spent the last couple of days trying to get used to the very dark hair. Every time I look into the mirror I think "I have black hair. But I am NotGoth".

Last night we made a delicious salad (except you have to say it "sellard" like Sponge Bob),Greg's bro cooked up a heap of mudcrabs and we invited over friends and had a huge scrumptious meal followed by Cheesecake Shop cheesecake for dessert. It was the first time I'd seen my gf's daughter (my honourary niece) since she did "Shave for a Cure" and I couldn't get over how gorgeous she looks with her beautiful little skinhead. She has this impossibly beautiful face and it just looks all the more expressive now that she has no hair to distract you from it.

Gotta fly, Bub's awake so it's time to face the fact that the weekend is over, pack up and make our way back home.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Us Crazies

After preparing a revision mind-map, a survey sheet and two different versions of the same test for the grade twos and threes and watching a hot doc on some traditional tightrope walkers I finally got to bed at about 1 o'clock this morning. But I still lie awake for ages even exhausted and at such a late hour. At one stage I was having a good chuckle to myself about stuff Izzy tells me - he can be an absolute pain in the arse sometimes but man he's good for a laugh. He doesn't just state something simply, he wouldn't just recall a simple fact, for example, that some kids at school carry on stupidly about things that are in his lunchbox like dried banana and rambutans, rather, he paints this hilarious picture of him and Jay (another kid who has "alternate" lunch and lives in a shed house) sitting together with their snaggle-teeth and raggedy clothes (so not true) with the sound of banjos strumming in the background ring-ding-a-ding-ring-a-ding, while the other kids suck back their roll-ups and snack size nutellas... He has me in stitches all the time.

It's a bit of a coincidence that one of Anakin's most favourite toys is a telescopic light saber which he has a really stylish way of extending and keshing-ing around. God it was so good to see his little face after work today.

Hanging out to go to my very much missed and kind of estranged gf's house warming/birthday party Friday night. I'm dying to reconnect with her and have a bloody great time together. We're dragging my sister up to Cairns so she can babysit for us and Greg and I are actually going to go party it up together! Yo-hoo! Unnaccomponied by children. Yah-hoo! (Just like the good ole days when we use to own "1936" every Thursday night.) I'm planning on getting drunk and disorderly (well, maybe), appreciating my very hot date (he's totally amped up the weight-lifting intensity lately), and thoroughly enjoying every minute of adult only time... wait for it... with other adults. Wild hey? It's an op-shop dress up party. (A girl after my own heart.) So if you see a bunch of crazies dressed up in really bad 80's bridesmaid dresses hanging out on the street, that'll be us.