This Circus

Mary Kay is pervading my subconscious! I've been reading her memoirs and everytime I go to sleep I'm dreaming about all her golden rules, the GO-GIVE spirit, 6 most important things to achieve tomorrow.. I'm becoming a convert while I sleep! I rise in the morning (NOT with the 5am club mind you) and cleanse, soften, replenish and moisturize like it's the most important thing in the world! And get this - afterwards I apply a little lipliner and some gloss and powder!!!! It's been a very light read, she really got me with the "you can't afford not to employ a housekeeper!" and totally lost me with the "ladies must never where trousers" (I'd just finished refolding the twelve stacks of pants I own so they could fit into the cupboard and, was completely offended).

I was hoping some of her philanthropic tendencies would rub off on me because I'm conscience that I can be as nasty as hell. Me and Greg spent the weekend giving each other the shits and I have been finding it hard not to treat my sister's relationship with Greg's brother as a bad joke. It's showing. I laughed at her when she told me she had pash rash asking how could she when he's only got about 3 hairs sprouting out of his chin. Today after telling her how Greg enraged me by laughing heartily at the expense of the 1/2 a tonne Dad on Medical Marvels last night, she sighed dreamily and said "those boys have such nice laughs, really infectious... so nice". I was straight out "Greg has a nice laugh. Chris's is more like a bray". But she talks about them like they're one entity which is destined to freak me out. I suppose I could have told her she was mistaken when she bought that coconut body wash thinking she could go to bed smelling like her new man, that it was Greg's bottle he left in Chris's bathroom and if she really wants to smell like Chris I'd suggest some selsun blue and some phisohex.

We had a lame long weekend with Bubby sick with the spewies. We ended up taking him to the hospital for a checkup where he saw this South African Doctor who regarding Anakin's startled countenance reckoned "Whatsa matta Boy? Have you never seen a man az Black as me?" In a voice like James Earl Jones. Greg thinks he scared the sickness out of him. But his still not quite right yet. On the odd occasions Bub's felt good over the weekend he's made the most of it. Me and Greg have been getting up at all hours when at 1.30am or 2.30 or 3.30 he suddenly perks up and insists "shower!" or "Wiggles" or "read me Mumma".

Anyway I took Izzy to the Circus on Monday night thinking I'd give him a bit of excitement at the end of our otherwise slack and dreary long weekend. It ended up being such a shonky, hillbilly excuse for a Circus it was actually hilariously entertaining for us. The ring was about as small as my lounge room which gave the meager crowd a close look at the Ring Master's sweat stains. And all the red welts that his savage looking monkey had put all over his forehead as as it excitedly used him as a jungle gym while frantically searching the crowd for a good-looking face to gnarl. The "clown" had a two toned beard and was dressed in a cropped top, britches and a pair of footy shorts. Apart from his get-up, he looked like an alcholic pirate who was doing community service for some shady criminal offence involving children. He's main act was performing "death defying feats" on his tightrope (a piece of elastic tied between two plastic chairs) where he kept flashing great eye fulls of his beige jocks at the disbelieving and repulsed spectators. Other than those two maniacs, there was a couple of ring-ins from the local Gym Club who did flips off a mini tramp and landed on some scungy mattresses (probably the pirates) and some chick who'd learnt to juggle and balance at the one too many raves she'd obviously attended. Oh, and three others - the owners who operated the fairy floss machine and whose brainchild the Circus was, carefully planned (after a really bad acid trip) to provide there special son a rich cultural environment in which to embrace his uniqueness. And a donkey, and a goat. Both of which I swear I saw grazing at someones hobby farm earlier in the day.