Kids.

Had a lovely afternoon facepainting at Anakin's best mate's party yesterday arve. Julie, his Mum was really thrilled and acted like I'd been hiding this incredible talent from her all this time :P I did tigers and princesses and butterflies, ghouls, devils and puppy dogs and the birthday boy requested an ice-dragon. That one was my favourite. We joined the family for a few glasses of red at their home on the beachfront. They're moving for work soon and I'm really going to miss them heaps. Well, Julie especially, she's awesome company and about the only person who I drop in on for cuppas and we talk non-stop for hours when we get going. I love her heaps.

My Grade 3 class (on Thursdays) are so great this year! They work really hard and are a breeze to manage. The little girls write me letters like "Dear Miss, you are the best teacher of Science and all other activities. I hope you enjoy it." And finish with illustration of me. Really sweet. I went to school on Friday just to do some planning, I knew they had library at 10 so I nicked over to the classroom to grab myself a cuppa while no-one was there. Well they intercepted me on the way! The two lines broke formation as they all rushed over to cuddle me and gush! They make me feel famous! It's so lovely but.

Parlour Guitar

I went into the local music store ages ago and was immediately drawn to this little limited edition replica parlour guitar brought out by Washburn to celebrate 125 years of manufacturing. Except it cost HEAPS. Every opportunity I'd peer at it through the closed shop front window or go in to admire it up close but I'd kinda categorised it as "in my dreams". That was until the lady had a closing down sale and made it 30% off! I did some research on it and thought: Your mad if you don't! I flew into town after work yesterday and bought it for myself!!! Then I took it directly to Dad, who's played a Washburn forever, so I would be reassured by the really cool things he'd say about it. Which he did!! He made it sound beautiful and loves it as much as I do! Check it out! The case is almost as deadly as the actual guitar!!

The picture doesn't do much justice. It's made of trembesi, mahogany and rosewood and has abolone rosette inlay, an ebony fretboard and a really cool v-shaped neck. I love it SO MUCH! It's nice to buy something your so rapt in it makes you feel giddy! I can't wait to sit in the doorway of my oldschool teardrop van strumming on my replica 1800's parlour guitar!

Oh my girlfriend Kyra had a baby boy this morning! I was just talking to her last night and she was telling me she was booked in for a caesar on Monday, cept she went into labour after that and had to go into surgery this morning. Little Seth was born!! I was telling her she might have to hang onto all the bundles of baby clothes and paraphernalia I recently passed on to her, but I did a preggy test this morning (only 10 days past ovulation mind you) and it was negative. Which kind of made me feel a bit relieved in a way... We've had a shit few weeks health wise - me with headaches and friggin dental pain and Greg has had a barking cough so not the ideal conditions to conceive, plus I think I'm losing my nerve already.. I'm really good at adapting and making the best of a situation but the whole actuality of planning something as momentous as a new baby actually FREAKS the shit out of me! I'm probably bloody too old anyway.. Meanwhile I've been peeing about twice as frequently as usual, I spent one day feeling totally wiped-out for no apparent reason and have begun getting period-like pain when it's not due until Tuesday, so I'm not ruling it out all together just yet.

Our mulberry tree is fruiting again with a HUGE crop. Anakin pretends he's a horse and I feed him these great heaps at once with my hand out flat for him to nuzzle-up. I love feeding him good home grown stuff from the yard, makes me feel less guilty for the noodles he eats for dinner two night in a row..

I had this beautiful dream about the guy I spent most of my teenage years with last night. We were in a swimming pool at night talking most sincerely about our past and cradling one another close. It was heart-wrenchingly tender. A friend had given us a pile of jewelery that had once belonged to us and we were sorting through it all, recalling the occasions each piece had been exchanged. It was a nice dream for me to have because I've got issues with this lad - he spent so many years of his life with me and yet has never been able to foster our relationship since on a platonic level. He always needed the motivation of the possibility of getting me in the sack to bother himself. Anyway I've been listening to Chris Cornell's cover of Led Zeppelin's "Thank You" - he use to play it at gigs and always dedicate it to me,

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.

My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.

An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,

Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.

Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me

no wonder I've got hang-ups!

So what I was saying

was I can suddenly see the bigger picture - long term benefits of giving Anakin another sibling to share his childhood (one who's not almost a whole generation older than him!) In the long-run I think two little buddies together is going to be a lot less demanding than one. I've been there with Izzy and although I went out of my way to make sure he had the opportunity to have friends and cousins over at our place a lot and personally invested lots of time into doing stuff with him, he was still pretty lonely I think. I wasn't in the position to give him a sibling at the time but in retrospect I wish I could have. Now with Anakin, it's kind of now or never. As it is there would be a 3 and a half year gap, any longer and it defeats the purpose (well one of them).

Anakin is really non-stop. Today I'm psyching myself up to spend the whole day as "Penny" and he'll be "Bolt" of course. He tells us who we are and what we need to say and do. It's charming and creative and all but a bit wearing day in and day out for an adult. We go from pretending to painting to playing with the hose, more pretending, making cubbies, playing toys, pretending, reading, drawing, puzzles, racing tracks, chasing, crafty, ... and he doesn't want to do anything much unless Greg or I are right there in the thick of it with him. I get a break when he's watching tele, but otherwise I think he plays on his own for about 20 minutes a day! Izzy was the same! He's the best little kid but geez it's exhausting being the best playmate of a 2 and a half year old!

Anyway we thought about all this and Greg was never really sure if he wanted to stop at one, so we just went for it, on like day 15 of my cycle (and day 13 and 17 and 19 and.. ). If it doesn't happen really fast we'll probably loose our nerve altogether! Last month I had ovulation pain for 2 whole days and nights and a chronic migraine 5 days before my period, but this cycle has been kind of a non event, no tweaks or twinges of anything - I wonder if I even ovulated at all. I don't know what's going on. Anyway if it doesn't happen this month and we're brave enough to keep trying, if I fell next month the due date would be better timing in regards to my work. Plus I've got a thing with numbers and a birthday in an odd day in an odd month in an even year would be way cool like the rest of us. (Anakin has just been playing in his room for 10 minutes or more! Came out once to show me his pterodactyl egg! Legendary. Oh here he comes again...)

Greg is just that much of a beautiful Dad if he had his heart set on any number of children I don't think I could deny him for too long.. So it's on the cards that we'll have another one of these little beauties joining the family in the near future:

How could you resist?

Coulda popped a clot

Well we've finished watching Underbelly so maybe my blog will get some attention at nightimes again.

I've had a few pretty shithouse days after going to the dentist and getting some roots extracted from right down in my gum. Oh man, I spent about 4 days feeling like I'd been repeatedly punched to the side of the head and trying not to overdo it on the Nurofen. I'm into pretty clean living so to me the idea of too many is like more than one a day. Anything that restricts my relationship with food is bound to bring me down. Just today it's become a great deal more bearable which has been a huge relief, the thought of having to go get the hole poked around in a bit more totally sucked. I had to put my exercise regime on hold (afer all of a whole three really nice workouts) coz I felt if my heartrate when up too high I'd burst a blood clot and have an aterial spray. Mind you even if though I coulda popped a clot I risked my blood pressure rising from more pleasurable persuits... heh heh heh...

Anyway I'm on the rebound now. Luckily coz we're going on a big road trip down to the opal fields near Lightening Ridge in a couple of weeks. That's going to be one huge drive! I'm hoping the in-laws have an internet connection down there as I'm not going to want to miss out on any exciting blog news and pregnancy updates etc. Speaking of which. After so many years of not being able to see past the difficulties of another pregnancy and baby, I've suddenly... to be continued..

Sugarworldlandchestertinvaleville

Izzy's been home since Thursday! It's been so nice, I could really get use to having my two boys under one roof again. Paul's girlfriend has moved up from Sydney so Iz has been giving them a bit of space to settle in together before he goes back over to the unit.

Took the kids to Sugarworld on Saturday. I was totally working those corners on the Banana Bender and only received one blow to the head in the Flying Fox, unlike my friend Tiffany, I dunno what the hell she was doing but she ended up with bloodblisters on her back, shattered vertebrae, multiple concussions and fractures... bit of an exaggeration but you get my drift.. The kids totally wore themselves out - Izzy was fast asleep by 6 o'clock. Tiffany and her family were suppose to come back to ours for pizza and risotto but they all flaked out too.

Anakin has been such a little honey to us lately, tells us "I love you guys, so much" and to me "you're really beautiful Mummy". Oh my God, what a Darling. A bit of a contrast to how he treats people on the perimeter of his life though. He growls at other peoples kids to "get back in your trolley!" at the shops, we have to pull him up for being bossy and antisocial a fair bit. He's just totally in love with his family at the moment and doesn't care too much for anyone else. He's had this persistent cough that's been waking him up at night making him sound like all the other kids at Daycare so after yet another sleepless night I called them to let them know he wasn't coming back and did I rejoice after that phonecall was made. Nick said she'd take him for me on Thursdays which is such a load off my mind. Although Bub was getting a little bit better there each time, he still screamed hysterically every time I left which would just about give me an instant migraine and it was as if he missed every second week coz he picked up the latest round of snotty nose syndrome. Yuck. I'll have to take him to playgroup or something so he becomes a bit nicer at making friends but I think I'll try leave the whole dropping him off to school on his own for as long as I possibly can, or until they're at least over licking toys and coughing over one another's food..

I've picked up another 3 and a half hours a week at the school, taking some remedial groups for reading and grammar, luckily I can do it on a Friday when Greg has his RDO. Well that's until the crushing season starts and then I'll have to sort something out for him.

Persimmons are in season! HURRAY!!

Creme de la Creme and the little Blue Shark

Had a day with Izzy over the weekend, we spent it in Cairns and it was nice to have a long drive with just him for company. His comical stories about higschool were characteristically hilarious - I think he has real perception when it comes to accessing people and the way he expresses his view of situations makes you feel totally in the moment. He told me about a group of kids he hangs out with at the library - their manual is a book on Rancid Livestock Diseases and they call themselves names like "Master Sprinkles", "Creme de la Creme" (that's him) and "Master Fairybread-Pink-Unicorn". He tells me about all the brawlers and different kids who spend all their free time pouring over their copies of PC Power Play. Sometimes I wish I had a dictator on him so when he becomes a standup comedian in the future he'll have lots of old material to work with.

Anakin is still permanently role playing. Lately he's moved into an Incredible Hulk phase. When his mask is off he's the reasonable and calm Bruce Banner, then he slowly lowers it and Hulk is unleashed. He warns "Watch out Mum, I'm going to wreck your house!" and he throws things, swings punches and roars! At the moment he's riding around the house being a postman delivering cheques from Gold Lotto. And now he's a little blue shark that eats fish and ducks. Yep, he gets very specific. He gets a bit carried away in his fantasies sometimes too - so many times when he's being an "Adult" he gets outraged when we refuse to let him drive the car. And if he's "Daddy", then why the hell can't he have a beer and as many salty plums as he likes??!