What's up

YES!! The backhoe came last Saturday!! We now have a perfectly good driveway so my brother-in-law won't have to visit the muffler joint every time he drives his Jag up here. We also had a couple of Chippies take away the half pipe that we bought Izzy second hand a few years back, they're going to restore it and use it, I was so glad to see the back of that delapitated monstrousity. I almost made it a bonfire a few times. The yard is free of huge logs and the cubby is now in the right spot! I'm almost finished repainting it. Can't wait to get cracking on the curtains (or more likely rope Mum into it) Nana gave me a few bucks for Bub so I bought him a matching sling chair from the Warehouse, he drags it around all over the place, he loves it.

This weekend we're planning a trip to Cairns with the trailer and a big spend-up at Bunnings. We need supplies for a chook shed (we bought two more little chickens at the markets on Sunday) and the sandpit. Plus Greg is picking up the cable-cross-over machine he ordered and we're paying off Izzy's laybuyed tramp and bringing it home! We're going to have a load and a half!!

I also have to go out to the airport and book Izzy's plane tickets for Sydney. His Dad is getting him for Christmas and New Years. I'm happy for him, but sad for me!! I dunno how I'm going to cope with him so far away...



I bought these speakers for one of my newphew's Christmas present yesterday. He's getting an mp3 player from his parents - I think he'll love 'em!

Queenslanders Annihilation of the Similie

We're about to crown another Australian Idol and I couldn't give a shit - they both look like a couple of wankers to me. (I'm exercising control in my everyday language use - Izzy hasn't gotten one piece of chocolate yet, except it seems to be all backing up and spilling out onto blog.) Not that I've watched it but that Matt has got the worst haircut in the history of mankind and Nat looks like a total bore.

I was thinking about how we Queenslanders are just so lazy we can't even put the thought into making up similies to explain ourselves. (Or maybe it's just me.) Instead of saying something like "It was as rough as guts" or "Man, I'm as hungry as a horse!" We leave off the last bit and go "That was as hard AS!" We actually emphasise the last "AS" so much that we don't even bother with the first one half the time and it just becomes, "I was crook AS", "He was creepy AS", She's bitchy AS!" It doesn't even make sense.

Block House

I've been spending the last few days on a house design for the block. It was really fun and now that I'm finished I feel like an accomplished draftsman. It's a split level house as the block slopes downward from the road. So it has a single story appearance from the street and full double story construction to the rear. The upper floor comprises of the master bedroom and ensuite, kitchen and sunken lounge, a study and sunroom (for taking tea) and the laundry and downstairs features the boys' bedrooms a bathroom and rumpus. (Now I sound like a real-estate agent.)

I'm open to suggestions :)

Pongwiffy

Anakin brought me my rock crystal deodorising stick today. I was a bit hot and stinky too, I think he was trying to give me a hint. The poor kid does have to snuggle up under my armpit after all. I think one of the reasons your boobs are positioned in such close proximity to your armpit is so your ripe body odour helps knock the baby out for a good sleep.

Flashback Friday II

Here's some pictures of the boys in similar poses when they were similar ages. I don't know how they turned out so alike when their dads couldn't be more different. Anakins recent pics are first followed by flashbacks of Izzy ten years ago:

That thing that happens

I'm having that thing happen today - ya know when you start spinning-out about particular words and you repeat them to yourself and wonder about their absurdity and if they're really proper English words or could you have just made them up in your head, just now.. This is me muttering to myself this morning: "Second..second..second?...first...second...third...yep, it's definitely a word... Izzy... I-zzy...Izzy!..Did I really name him that?? Is that the most strangest sounding name I've ever heard?... Bottle! Bottle! What kind of a word is that!!" (And so on.) Now I'm starting to wonder if that dream that I was institutionalised in a mental hospital was really all that far-fetched!

I tried going to sleep on Greg's chest last night but his heart rate is that abnormally slow (I reckon about 50 bpm) that I was worried he'd died between each beat. How can you relax like that?!

I'm so disgusted at my foul mouth lately that I have made Izzy a deal - each time he catches me swearing (besides "bloody" and "shit") he's allowed to eat two pieces of chocolate. I hate him eating too much junk food so I reckon this is going to work. Greg's got no faith he reckons I should've started with just a smartie and see how I go from there.

I've taken to buying the most nutritious seed filled bread I can find. If Izzy wants to eat nutella sandwiches for lunch (and who could blame him) he's got to plough through the multi-grain! Ha ha ha!

You might remember Iz had the spewies on the night of his birthday back in September, well I finally made him another birthday cake and a big taco dinner that he could actually enjoy in celebration of his 11th year.

I've been waiting and waiting on the backhoe-man to come and do some jobs for me - something always seems to come up or it's too wet, it's driving me nuts!! I really, really, really want to get rid of this pile of logs over in the yard and get the cubby house shifted underneath the lychee tree in the shade near the house (not to mention the driveway fixed, the drains redug and the millmud pile flattened). I'm going to renovate it for Bubby for Christmas - it needs some panelbeating after the cyclone, a new coat of paint (Green Jube and Pony Trail), some new curtains and new furniture and then Greg's going to put in a sandpit below it. I can't wait to get it all organised!

Izzy got sick of waiting for Greg to build a chook run and decided to have a go at it himself. So far he's got three star pickets in the ground and one star shaped gash in the middle of his forehead. Don't ask me how.

Growing Up

I am Garlic Pepper Rounds from Always Fresh.. These things must be loaded with MSG or something they are so tasty and crunchy and moreish!! YUM I just scoffed almost a whole packet. You've gotta try 'em.

Well I've been continuing my mindfulness of Izzy and sensing the rewards already. He can come off as a bit of a take-it-for-granted kinda kid but yesterday morning he said "Thanks for packing my lunchbox Mum."!!! I think I've done it about 32 thousand times and that might be the first time he's acknowledged it and thanked me! I was pretty gobsmacked internally and nearly teared up when I casually replied "That's okay Darlin'". And then last night he was on my bed flipping through a magazine with me when he volunteered to point out a couple of the ladies that he thought were attractive. Izzy's been known to almost come to tears of embarrassment at the slightest mention of any girl-talk so him opening up to me about that was pretty amazing to me also. (They were Eva Longoria [he reckons "Yep, can't get any better lookin' than her] and Jessica Alba by the way - he likes them dark haired, dark eyed and tanned. Just like his dad who always had the hots for Alyssa Milano. Hee-hee.) Anyway so that's going all good. For Greg too...

I found us a beautiful house in Kuranda but when I called the real-estate agent about it yesterday she expected the owner to be signing a contract by the end of the day. Majorly pricey - we would have to sell everything and go into debt as well but I tell you we'd have been living in the lap of luxury! Four bedrooms, two kitchens, Italian tiles, bamboo flooring, quila decks, huge heated spa out on this observation platform, claw foot bathtubs, french doors..oh my God it's beautiful. Greg's always talking about moving back to Cairns, I only want to live in the bush - Kuranda may be the perfect solution. I should really just be thinking about designing the perfect house for the block - my sister is good at it but I just can't wrap my head around the whole process of building from scratch. All the options just do my head in.

We have to keep such a close eye on Bubby these days. He's fast! He can practically run now and he's confident enough to make his way over next door if you give him half the chance and his climbing abilities have always been so good. These days he goes straight up the extension ladder in the shed. And last night with a tiny extra boost from his dad he climbed up the outside of Izzy's bunk beds all the way to the top. So different to Izzy who never ventured away from my side and who was like "Super-Safety".

"It feels so free!"

These were Izzy's words after he dived in, lost his dacks and found himself skinny-dipping around in the neighbours pool. (They went away over the weekend and left us with their pool gate key and an open invitation - so nice!) "It feels so free! I don't know why people don't swim around like this all the time!" I don't know why either but I reckon he'll be on the lookout for opportunities to steal a few free moments for a private skinny-dip from now on. His little white nudey-bum streaking around under water.

Bubby is still fighting off the snotties but is a lot better than he was. I started him on antibiotics because he was being troubled with earache and I didn't want to mess around with the possibility of a middle ear infection but somehow the medi' went missing and he only ended up taking it a few times. So he's had to soldier on through which is probably a lot better for his immunity in the long run.

His Dad looked after him a lot on the weekend. I went out with Nick for ages on Saturday to visit Nana and Grandad and get our grocery shopping and a little bit of Xmas shopping. And then on Sunday arve me and Mum and Nick went for a big bike-ride all over the place - checking out all the beautiful houses around the place and the new estates going up. Nick thought she was going to throw-up like the Biggest Losers Do after going up a few steep inclines and was cracking up at me and Mum "No more hills!! No more hills!!!", then half way home I noticed her back tyre was neally completely flat - no wonder she couldn't keep up. I kept having to circle back around behind them to keep them at a steady pace. I wanted to burn off some of the scrumptious homemade pizza's I've been making for dinners lately.

I had an emotional breakdown the other night. Sometimes I get so upset at myself when I reflect on some of the ways I have interacted with Izzy. And some of things I say to him and the way I react to him at times (And Greg). And then I start getting guilty that his Dad's not around for him and everything else just seems to feel like it's all my fault. It really gets me down and I get so miserable. And then come night time Greg expects me to feel turned-on the moment he is, when I've got all this stuff on my mind that I need to process and then he gets upset at me for bringing things up at bad times...bloody hell.

I just need to be more mindful of and involved with my family. I get guilty for taking every opportunity I can get to escape and ignore them all when they are the most important thing in the world, and during the week I have time of my own while Bub's asleep and there's nobody else around when I can do my own thing (like right now).

So after my big guilt trip yesterday we went for a bike ride, built a cubby in the loungeroom, played softball. Greg took the boys for a swim. We offered him a game of monopoly (but he declined)... I spoke rationally all day and didn't sit at the computer once. I did read the paper though...but I read it in his room while he watched a movie...and I made conversation over things I'd thought he'd find interesting...now I just have to keep it up day after day.. Then Greg might get some more often as I'll be more relaxed and less of a guilt-ridden freak!

Flashback Friday

I love this picture of me and Nick (I'm the smaller one). I think we were probably about 9 and 12? I look heaps like Izzy here. Someones done my hair back real tight. I use to hate my hair being done ("sconin' my hair back"), I'd scream out "Ya sconing me Mum! Stop sconin' me, it hurts!" I think that's Mum's Suzuki in the background, if it is that's the bike I ended up getting my license on.

Some Renovations would do the Trick

My house is too small. Just like I can't organise my boobs to fit into the little size 8 and 10 bikini tops I used to wear, without them spilling out on all sides, neither can I organise all of our belongings to fit into this little place. I need bigger cupboards and cups!

I've washed and aired all our doonas and warmer throws to put away for next year. They're all folded up and there's just nowhere to put them. It's so unbearable. If I sucked all the air out of everything we own in those vacuum sealed bags maybe I could find somewhere to stash it all.

Mum has been in my ear every other day about selling up and buying a bigger house but I'd have to move so far away to get value for money if you ask me. They're asking the most ridiculous prices everywhere around here (which would work in my favour if I were to sell). I suppose we could sell this place to finance building a house on the block... But I really intended on keep them both so I can have something to leave each of the boys one day and the way me and Greg have been getting along we'll probably need separate dwellings anytime soon.

I had a phone call from another teacher asking me to share her class next year. It's good to know I'm a sort after commodity. So it's only a matter of time before we can begin making extra repayments on the loans and make a bit of headway in the financial area. Maybe then I can get some renno's.

Greg took a sicky and looked after Bubby and I went to work with the Grade Three's yesterday - it was quite the role reversal. Except I didn't get dinner made for me...

He joined Facebook last night so there was a bit more role reversal going on with me sitting on the couch alone making the banter "are you finished with your cyber buddies over there? Do you think you've ignored me for long enough yet?"

22 things you didn't know about me..

I’m inconsistent – eg: I drink green tea out of fine bone china while swearing repeatedly.

I don’t get the whole thing with adults doing kids stuff eg: reading Harry Potter, eating muesli bars or variety packs of cereal and watching Disney movies.

I go bezerk when there are flies in my kitchen.

I never watch horror movies.

I'm a hair twirler.

I’ve given birth naturally twice and breastfed for over 3 and a half years all up, and counting.

I can rely on my physical health.

Two of my stepdads (for want of a better word) committed suicide.

Big dogs freak me out.

I love foot massages.

I am uneffected by political scaremongering.

I cringe over the artificial backslapping of strangers on the internet.

I’ve never faked an orgasm.

I promised myself a motorbike as a reward for finishing Uni – I still owe myself a motorbike.

I could do endless chin-ups when I was a kid and I wanted to be Monkey Magic.

I’m a bit of a Nigel.

I lived with my boyfriend under a marquee on the bank of a creek with no tap water, power or transport for 3 months when I was 19. It was fun.

I hate having dirty hair.

If I had heaps of money I’d wear the most beautiful clothes every minute of the day.

Having kids gave me purpose and direction and I appreciate people who don’t necessarily have to have kids before they feel that way.

One of my favourite breakfasts is pineapple on toast.

I overcame a period of obsessive compulsion when I was young and my parents wouldn’t even know it.

And now ya do...