Something about Mary

I hosted a Mary Kay party since we last talked. Made $611 worth of sales which entitled me to order a heap of freebies, so I can't wait for all that to arrive in the mail. I actually signed up as a consultant at a GF's party a few weeks ago because the consultancy kit included what I was about to order and was way more value. I made myself perfectly clear that I had no intention of being an active consultant but that I thought considering the few friends and family that buy the products I could probably keep my membership current by putting an order in here and there. Anyway then after that particularly shit day at school I thought hey maybe there's a future in this for me. Then I tried to actually apply some makeup, which I'm absolutely shocking at, I managed to get glittery eyeshadow residues from arsehole to breakfast time and within about 5 minutes it looked like my whole face had kind of slipped right off it's target. I think I'll just stick to facepainting. I went to one of the MK training sessions just for interests sake and because Greg happened to have that day off. It was alright, reminded me a bit of a cult. I'm suppose to write all these affirmations for homework because next week they're doing up "dreamboards", photo montage sounds right up my alley but spare me all New Age jargon. Don't think I'll make it back. Still I might work on some goal setting to give me a bit of direction. I "manifested" my perfect perfect block of land, in the perfect location for the perfect price, maybe there's something in it after all.

Cow

Wednesday was a good day in the classroom - I only had to send two kids to the isolation room at lunchtime and I'm thinking life is good - I'm getting through to these little terrors.

But then I worked Thursday as well. Thursdays we go to the library and I prep' them thoroughly "libraries are like churches, we need to be very quiet and use whispering voices (yeah right! - "MISS I FOUND WALLY!!! I FOUND HIM!!!!!!). Actually I didn't think they were doing too badly and then after a couple of reminders during story time Mrs StrictlyKickinItOldSchool came waltzing over and got fair up the whole class right in front of me! :( "I HEARD MISS NADINE ASK YOU TO KEEP QUIET!! I'M TRYING TO WORK OVER THERE AND I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK! BLAH BLAH RANT RANT (As if I don't do enough of that myself). I was so utterly humiliated, like, give me some professional space lady. I swear I was so embarrassed and offended I went bright red and boiling hot in an instant, I took it really badly and it was written right over my face. It didn't help that I'd just gotten my period and already felt like emotional jelly. She must have thought she was doing me a favour, backing me up with some obviously much needed authori-tie. She winked at me on the way out the door like that's how you really rip it up 'em Love. But I just felt so undermined. That was the second time she'd interrupted my lesson too - I had a boy ask me if he could go to the loo - if kids ask me to go to the loo, I let them, I suppose there's the odd kid that just wants to cruise off for a walk but who cares it's not like they're gone for long - a couple of minutes! And denying a kid who needs to go is just cruel. Anyway this particular kid is always asking to go and the way he fiddles around with himself I think he might have a bit of an issue, so I suggested he try and remember to go during lunch breaks and was about to let him when she charges over again "Miss Nadine I was on playground duty and I reminded everyone to go to the toilet didn't I children?? Did I not children?? Blah Blah Blah!" I should have told her "Excuse me but he happened to ask me. "Yes son, off you go." Anyway I let him go TWICE during afternoon session and I hope he walked right passed her window on the way!

SEMINARS!

Me and my two and Mum and her three - Mother's Day.

Okay so today the "Lootha"-"Gorge" Lady said "I really want to go to the Beauty Expo in Sydney this year, they have the best Beauty Cinemas!" I guess I'm just going to come to terms with the fact that some people like me can't spell the words and some people just don't know the right bloody words to say!

Yesterday we had a 1st birthday party here for Greg's brother's little boy. Me and Greg have only seen him a couple times in the last year as he lives with his Mum a few hours away and Chris only gets to see him during his monthly visits. Nick had all her culinary skills on display and we munched out on fresh pineapple drizzled with chocolate, blueberry muffins, choc fudge brownies, egg and lettuce sandwiches, fresh energy slice (that was me), beautiful homemade pesto, prawns (that was Chris) and fresh mackerel. Nick also had her flawless mothering skills on display for the benefit of young and old (or more for Chris I'm guessing), spending her day nursing, feeding, changing and blowing the nose of the little birthday boy. What's the bet those two will be procreating a bunch of kidlets in no time. They'll come out looking just like Anakin! Freakish.

Except poor Bubby who had been looking forward to seeing his little cousin all week had just about the worst night of his life (save the green banana episode). Last weekend it was Greg who was rolling around in bed with some lergy going "What's wrong with MEEE!" and I was doing my best at playing nurse to a grown man (really badly) replying "It's obvious! You're dying!" Well this weekend it's been Anakins turn. Poor kid is practically drowning in his own snot and flem, he's all bleary eyed and has almost no voice. Tonight he's been braying into the end of a syphon funnel so he can reach his normal vocal potential. He refuses any attempts at getting baby panadol into him so is suffering pretty badly. Instead of his usual chipper self he's bursting into tears at everything with big fat tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. It's been tough on me because he reverted back into the feeding patterns of an infant and wants to be on the boobie ALL. NIGHT. So I've had bugger all sleep for going on 4 nights. It's only the second time in his almost 2 years that he's been real crook, so all-in-all his doing pretty darn well.

He's latest thing is taking you by the hand and leading you off somewhere special saying "I'll show ya!" He's really good at pretending. He loves to catch fish in the bath tub and then he cooks them up, sprinkles them with salt and feeds them to you. He pretends to catch the insects in his bug books.
(sometimes real ones too) and eats the pictures of food right off the pages. He's really good with his colours now. He's a real little Aussie and punctuates everything with "Beauty Mate!" "Cheers Mate!". He knows purple, blue, green, red, yellow, white, black and orange. His favourite favourite treat is marshmallows. He calls them "Mushroomallows" It's so funny. He's been wearing Izzy's BMX gloves around lately insisting everyone give him handshakes, knuckles and high fives with his super sized hands. I dunno how he's going to go in kindy because so much of his interactions with his brother start with "Wanna rumble?", "I'll fight you!", "Wrestle." Well that's when Izzy's not trying to get ahold of his "fresh neck" or pleading "kiss for Brussy?"

Better go put the little fella to bed. Have been very slack in here lately but will try be back soon.

It's BURST!!

In the course of a conversation the other day I heard "loofah" pronounced as "lootha" and "gauze" as "gorge". A friend's Mum was telling me how she "newztoo go into the salon" while her daughter smiled and listened intently and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from shrieking "what are you trying to say??" I mean there's slang and there's just mispronunciation. "We busted the blue balloon", "I can't believe how inaffected they are" - from fully grown adults! I didn't realise I was living in Hicksville - then again my sister is shackin' up with my brother...in law.

Cassowary Capers

On my way home from work last week I almost rear-ended a minibus of backpackers who had come to a complete stop in a 100k zone to take photo's of this cassowary sign. I've seen it done a few times but usually the tourists have the good sense to get off the road a bit first! But anyway it reminded me of a few funny stories that Greg has gleaned from the tea room at work.

This is funny. One young lad had spent loads of money doing up his car and had finally gotten it finished just the way he wanted. Anyway all the road signs around here aren't just for show, you actually do have to stop for cassowaries crossing the road quite frequently, as he had to one day. Except he got impatient with the particular slow-moving giant bird he was waiting on and gave it a bit of a nudge. But it did a bit more than hurry the cassowary along, it actually freaked it right out! It jumped up onto the bonnet of his freshly spraypainted pride-and-joy, stomped up and down on it and totally scratched the shit out of it before jumping down and running away! Ha ha ha! Oh man! How devastated would ya be. I wonder if insurance covered it.

And another one. Okay same thing that happened to me happened to this other guy - except the tourists hadn't pulled up in the middle of the road to take photo's of the cassowary sign, they'd pulled up in the middle of the road to take photo's of the actual cassowary. This guy wasn't going to be able to pull up in time so had to swerve right around the parked car to narrowly avoid a real bad car accident. Except he had a fatal collision with the cassowary instead. I would have like to have seen what ended up on those polaroids! A big puff of bird feathers probably.

A Perfect Day on Logie Night

Clocked up about 30 k's on the pushbike today. After a bit of a late start (punctured tube) Mum and I rode down to the markets. Did a couple detours on the way to check out new developments around the place. Once we arrived we meandered through the stalls. She bought a knitted vest. I bought some peach blossoms and coconut macaroons for the boys and then some ginger plants and Arctic Snow to add to the bank that we are planting out between the house and the shed, trying to steel it back from the noxious weed - Singapore Daisy. Man I hate that stuff. We had a very long and leisurely rest at the Churchy Stall (that's just what I call it - I'm sorry) while knocking back strong tea, jam and scones, vegetarian curry puffs and taro chips. (All latent energy..) Then we sat in the shade on the grass with fellow teachers dissecting the worth of Fridays' PD sessions while waiting for Greg to join us with the boys.

He brought the car down with the trailer and the other bikes so we all got to ride around the beach together. (We finally got around to hooking up the baby seat and you should see how sweet Anakin looks perched on the back of Greg's bike with his oversized stack-hat on his little head. OMG.)

We rode to the school to play tennis and everyone took turns one at a time to be slaughtered by me. (Ha ha ha) Then we rode round the corner to check what progress has been made on the house Nick's getting built. (She is in Cairns with Greg's brother for the fourth weekend in a row.. mmm...) Then we stopped at the resort for a quick OJ before it was off home again. A perfect way to spend the day.

Greg took Izzy and the boys next door out for a maiden voyage in the river most of yesterday. Then we had one of those scrumptious shared meals we have been in the habit of whipping-up between us. After the kids were put to bed we watched Street Kings and ate profiteroles for dessert. The neighbours are in the process of packing up to move :( That's going to be a bit hard to cop. They're not going too far, but it won't be like having them right next door. Our boundaries join up and there are no fences between the properties so it will be a bit confusing for Anakin when he has to remain only in ours. He's always asking to go over to "Reuben's home?"

That reminds me of the cute way he calls Elmo's World "Elmo's Home". It makes sense.

I'm watching the Logie Awards in the background. I love that Aussies never take anything too seriously.

But ouch! My bum hurts. Remind me to invest in one of those silicone seats.

And again

I like the 2 times 45 minute drives me and Izzy make together when we decide to do late night shopping. It gives us a chance to talk and have a few laughs together. This is an example of the obscure paths conversations take when Izzy is at the helm:

Iz: "Cavemen must of had really bad teeth hey?"
Me: " I dunno. Maybe when you eat an optimal diet - natural things humans are suppose to eat your teeth stay good. It's not like they had access to refined carbs and sugars back in those days."
Iz: "Mum, they had bad teeth. They ate rats. They feasted on rat meat. The cave women would chew on the rat skins to make leather."
Me: "Tough times. And you think you've got it bad because you have to go to school on Thursdays."
Iz: "No. They loved chewing on rat skins."
Me: "That's just what you want to believe so you can feel justified having your little melodrama's about how much maths you have to do on Thursdays."
Iz: Probably. No, but Mum. Me sucking on my Werthers Chewy Caramel is like them eating their rat flesh. They loved it."
Me: "Oh Yeah"
Iz "True. Me and my goldfish is like them and their ringworms..." (continues on and on making comparisons)

Greg is watching LOST. I'm always catching tiny snippets of it here and there while doing other things and infuriate him with my questions "What's happening??" "What's she do that for??" "Is this a flashback or a flashforward?" He doesn't even know most of the time and he's watched it right from the start. I don't even think the writers know how it all works.

I bought Anakin a little life jacket for the boat tonight. It's kind of like organising a will - the most sensible thing you can do, but the thought of actually needing it one day is enough to make you sick in the guts. As a person who has little to no interest in water sports or boating, irrational phobias about crocodiles and sharks and sickening nightmares about the demise of my family in the very same river we'll be launching into, I really wish Greg had of invested in a caravan!

Back again

I've just hung up on the third telecommunications salesperson that has phoned me in about as many days. The one whose phone call woke-up Anakin when I was enjoying a-cup-of-tea-and-a-nice-sit-down during his midday sleep fully copped a big mouth of flack, I can tell you. Except I don't know why I'm so loyal to my current service provider, they've just experienced severe router dysfunction which left us without the internet for over a week. (YEEGARDS!) Not to mention the 200 dollars worth of international phonecalls I've been charged for and didn't make! I've caught up on blogs at families places here and there so what I've been meaning to say to everyone is: "That was a great book, thanks for the recommendation", "Well wishes for your Dad", "Congratulation on the potty training", "Me and Greg are so far sucked-into Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares it's not funny, we love him too. And I'll try get onto that meme soon." "People search all their lives for a love like yours, so quiet down and lap it up." I've forgotten what else.

Had a really great day with my class yesterday. I barely had to do any growling at all! (That is saying something!) We're doing magnets for science for the next few weeks and they're loving it! Tomorrow we're having a professional development day at the highschool - I like those, it's reminiscent of going to uni' lectures but getting paid good money for it.

Anakin is awesome as usual. (Ask anyone.) He's a little skinny-minny, no baby fat to be seen, just a little ball of muscle. He's not even two and has defined calf muscles and rock hard abs. He's saying words like "delicious" and "disgusting" now. He even uses jokes in context - He was showing me his food and saying "Yummy Pizza!" I said "Oh. Really?" And he goes "No. O'Reily". (It's a Wiggles joke.) He thinks Captain Feathersword is a crack-up and goes around chuckling about the Wobbly-Wobbly Dance.

We had a steady procession of fellas come over yesterday arve to check out Greg's new boat and drink his home brew. Anakin was picking up my hand and using my finger to point at the ones he didn't know (so I'm the rude one) and going "Who's that?" Soon as he found out their names he'd be like "Hey Glen. Hey Glen. Glen's home." He's funny and cute. His latest saying is "Gladiators! Are You Ready!?"

Issy is so reluctant to go to school on Thursdays. I've been having to chauffeur drive him and bribe him with fresh chocolate croissants and warm bacon and cheese buns from the shop to stop him from making it into such a big drama. Anyway gotta jump Bub's awake now. Be back soon.