André's arrival.

Last Saturday I met with Nick and friends at the creek. Lumbering over toward them in the heat the girls took one look at me and together greeted me with a gasp and a "Oh, you poor thing!" This is a pic we took that day - the second last day I was pregnant with André Lennard. My darling little Ranga-tanga-ting-tang. My sweet little Gingernut. Yep that is a pattycake in my hand. As if I needed more help getting any bigger when I was carrying another 8lb 12oz baby inside my on-the-short-side 161cm body!

Sunday night, our same group of friends joined up at Nick's to share dinner. We ate Caesar salad and nori rolls, fried rice, bruchetta, potato salad and bbq'ed meat and followed it up with caramel tart and Jenn's fudge with cuppa's for dessert. (We eat like it's Xmas every bloody weekend!) I remember saying after dinner "Imagine going into labour this full of food!" And Nick commenting "You'd probably just throw it all up". (Didn't happen. My body wasn't wasting all that good tucker!)

Me and Greg had an argument on the way home so he went straight to bed sulking as soon as we got here. I stayed up looking at real estate and drafting blurbs for our property, (selling has been under discussion). I was sitting here at the computer suffering the most swollen itchy feet lamenting the fact that I could reasonably nag a person for a footrub who I'd just called a horrible pig and an idiot >.< Mum came down for a piece of fudge and a cuppa at about 10 and we yakked on for ages so it was a pretty late night for me.

I tossed and turned in Anakin's bed for the next hour or so, even though it's the comfiest in the house (not that he'd know that, he's always slept in our bed!). For the last few weeks, dreaming at night had pretty much come to a grinding holt, it was as if my thought processes had become monosyllabic or something, I had one thought, a monothought, all night, every night, my mind was fixated on the impending audible cracking sound of my waters breaking. But come to think of it, it couldn't have been the only thing in the back of my mind, there was the simple urge to get my rocks off, every now and again, and an orgasm is quite useful in getting off to sleep, ask anyone. Greg doesn't usually get any when I'm in a bad mood with him but I figured 1 o'clock in the morning when I was feeling a bit toey was a good a time as any to patch up a rift, so I tiptoed into his room and stood over the bed looking at him until he woke up. I did hold his hand tenderly as he was waking so he didn't get the wrong message and think some paranormal activity had possessed me, or maybe Mrs Bobbit. Anyway he hasn't knock back my advances yet and wasn't about to start so I lead him into the next room and, well, you know..

I was lying there a while later coming to terms with the 2 days left until André's EDD. Thinking, yeah I can wait that long, I'm feeling okay with that.. Greg was hunched over on the floor with a torch trying to trap a firefly in a jar when my nephew, who was staying with Iz in the caravan, walked passed and probably thought to himself "What the hell is he doing??"

Before Greg took himself back to bed he joked with me "We need a code word something to say: The Baby's Coming! How 'bout "peaches"?? I love peaches!" 5 minutes later I rolled over in bed and there it was, that deep internal thud that I had been anticipating for days!! I slipped out of bed and into the loo. Sure enough waters had started to trickle out of me. Greg appeared instantly with an expectant "Peaches??"

We still hadn't really decided where I was going to give birth!! But made up our minds pretty quickly after that to just go up the road to the local hospital. We rang ahead so they could get my file faxed down and the midwife I spoke to sounded great - down to earth, straight forward, unflustered. Over the next 20 minutes I fully saturated a few more sets of clothes while I threw a few more things into the hospital bags and ran off a hardcopy of my birth plan. Greg had a big bowl of cereal, and we called Mum to come down and sleep for the rest of the night next to Anakin. We also called Nick, so she would be here first thing in the morning so Mum could get ready for work.

We hung around for a bit. Mum talked us through a tutorial on her camera as ours was out-of-action after Greg jumped into the creek with it in his pocket on Saturday (our 2nd camera that was suppose to be waterproof, but wasn't!) Things didn't seem to be progressing as fast as they did with Anakin's birth. I was sad kissing Anakin goodbye because the poor boy had fallen asleep in the car to the sounds of his parents berating each other :( but hoped that by the time he woke up in the morning we'd have the much awaited news of his little brother's arrival to share with him and a big introduction to make :D. I tried to wake Izzy up in the van to let him know I was off to the hospital but, man, when teenagers finally get to bed, they sleep like the dead!

I had two contraction but otherwise tried to totally relax during the 15 minute drive into town, I hadn't really managed any sleep yet and knew I was going to need my energy before this night was over. We talked a little about possible middle names, another detail that was still under discussion but on a whole I fell quiet and introspective, readying myself mentally for the momentous physical and emotional rollercoaster ahead.

The midwife, Diane, greeted us and settled us into the birthing suite. She read through my birth plan and I was grateful when she had no queries or questions over my choices there. We got to know each other a bit. Turned out she also has a Grade 8er at Tully High and went to school herself with a couple of my Aunties and Uncles. (As has every other local between the ages of 70 and 40!) I talked her through my other two births and my expectancy of this birth proceeding similarly to Anakin's - fast and furious. I rubbed my belly and told her hopefully "but this ones going to be a bit nicer to Mummy". Greg took a couple of photo's before my belly (or half of it anyway) was gone, and I marveled over the little fella getting the hiccups for the last time in utero. Although I couldn't quite work out how there could be enough amniotic fluid left for him to drink!

Diane took herself off to fill in all the paperwork and I paced around willing things onward and outward! We'd arrived at the hospital at about quarter to 3 and I was giving myself until 7am to birth this little Bubba.

First stage of labour was turning out marvelously. I spent most of it in the shower with warm water pouring onto my lower back. I took in a plastic chair so I could lean over it with my hands bracing the armrests. I swayed my hips backward and forwards and focused on relaxing and "Baby down. Cervix open". I found myself worrying about how much water I was wasting! And between trips to the toilet to poo - throwing on the hospital gown just for the novelty of it - because I'd never worn one before! That's how easy it seemed! When Diane came to check on me I told her I was worried I was somehow hindering progress and maybe I should do something different - go for a walk around the hospital or something. She advised to stay where I was. That the shower was helping with pain relief and I could only be assisting progress by remaining on my feet and swaying my hips. That I was fine how I was! Greg kept asking if I needed anything and if there was anything he could do for me. I told him to lie down and go to sleep!

It took me a little by suprise when I noticed the sun was up. There was a gorgeous tree blossoming pink flowers taking up most of the space in the window and the rain was pouring down all over it. Beautiful. I was starting to think delivering this boy within my self imposed time frame was seeming a bit unlikely when contraction began to overlap and strengthen. I couldn't get through them quietly anymore and the moaning and groaning began in earnest. I laboured on for another 20 minutes before requesting an internal. Diane took her time getting to me, and busied herself getting things ready for the baby. I think she had a hands off philosophy and was sure I'd know insinctively when to start pushing, and I think I took her by suprise reaching transistion this quickly. Greg helped me get a beanbag onto the floor where I knelt on my knees (is there another way to kneel??) and we dragged an upholstered armchair up close for me to drape myself over and rest my head on between contractions. When that blessed internal finally came Diane announced that my cervix was fully dilated and it I felt pushy than go right ahead. I was determined to get this over with as quick as possible so with the next couple of contractions I did just that. Pushed hard. She encouraged me to put my fingers inside myself and feel his head bearing down on my cervix. I wish I had of given the moment I got to feel André's head for the first time, the attention and awe it was due, but I was kind of in the middle of something. After another push or two I apologised "I don't think I'm going to be able to push this baby out without doing a poo." She counselled me "Don't you worry about that, don't let that hold you back! You just push as hard as you can, right into your bottom." I listened to every word she said. When she said "Relax your shoulders." I relaxed my shoulders. When she said "I can almost see his face. Hold it there. We don't want you to tear. Take little breaths... little breaths... little breaths." I just puffed away in total agony, doing just like she'd asked. The next push and a huge roar, and his head was born, another push and another roar! and his sholders. The pain was excruciating as his body eased it's way out, so I gave him a helping hand with one final push just to finish the job. It was 6:15 - plenty of time to spare!

I was facing the wrong way and couldn't see a thing though. Greg got a hold of me under the arms to help lift me around to greet my little man. There he was a perfect little boy stretched out on the bean bag. So, so perfect. I couldn't believe I'd done it again - made such a beautiful little thing. I barely even realized the craziness going on around me. While I was twisting around to see him the umbilical cord had snapped in the middle and blood was pouring all over my legs and all over the floor. Greg got to cut what remained of his cord and then I had my first nurse! What a little sweet cake! His apgar scores where 9 and 10 and he was making wee little talking noises already.

News travelled fast and my BF was on the phone before third stage labour had even set in. With one visitor on the way already I figured it was time to request some syntocinon and get on with it. OUCH!! That injection HURT!! I complained loudly too, which was kind of comical considering what I'd just been through!

After our first, long, yummy, big, big cuddle, there was a change of shift and Greg and Wendy - our next midwife took André for a deep warm bath.


I took a chance to have my 20th shower for the day and get some fresh clothes on. Then I picked out Baby's first little outfit and wobbled my way up the ward to join them. He's was fast asleep in his tubby-tub. Nawwww.

We settled into our room and adored our baby together, before the boys came to meet their little brother, before the steady stream of family and friends began to arrive and while waiting for the doctor to finish his rounds and come and give me the three stitches I needed. That's what happens when you push out your baby in 6 MINUTES! The hospital staff kept popping in to tell me how "clever" I was. I don't know about clever, just determined to get the intensely painful bit out of the way asap!

Anyway this recount could go on and on and already I've been trying to finish it for like four days. He's two weeks old now and is just a perfect little thing. He sleeps extremely well, way better than the last two! He loves his Mumma's titty milk. He's just really calm and mellow and content. The boys are both totally besotted. Izzy's always asking to hold him and Anakin follows me around kissing every part of him he can reach!

I really need to come back soon and update on all the things that have been happening lately, but I'm really needing to wrap presents, grocery shop for Xmas, cut Izzy's hair... there's so many things that need to be done. Thank the Lord Greg's on holidays for the next 6 weeks. Woop Woop.

What say?

Anakin was lying on the bedroom floor practising his handwriting yesterday arve and I was lounging on the bed doing a crossword when I said to him hopefully "Your little brother might decide to come out one day soon". The next clue I had was 18 down: Late. Answer: Overdue. And then directly after that 23 across: Greatly. Answer: Very. Grrhh!! I can't stand the thought!

On the contrary I had regular crampy period-pain contractions that kept me up most of the night last night. Greg took the morning off to look after Anakin so I could go to another anti-natal appointment. Saw the midwife briefly. I'm still 63 kilo's - the same as 2 weeks ago. I guess Babyboy is sucking up all that butter I ate while hosting another of my morning teas for the girls yesterday. And all the dairy whip and maple syrup I eat on my pancakes on a regular bases. She didn't mention my blood pressure so I guess it was good. Then they sent me on to the doctor, news I met with a slight rolling of the eyes and a "I'm sure that's going to be really productive". Way to get everyone off side! He saw me for a total of about 2 minutes. I asked about my blood test results which he said were "all good". (Same very insightful report he gave me for my ultrasound scan.) I hopped up on to the examination table and instantly had a big BH tightening, giving my belly a angular warp, then he took a measurement of Bubby's head and told me it corresponded with a baby of 39 weeks and that he wouldn't be surprised if he came anyday now. That news would make me really hopeful, if I could actually trust the guy knew what he was talking about.

After my appointment I went and shouted myself some new bras, a maternity singlet and a new pair of jarmie pants - all heavily reduced I might add. Don't know why I'm such a die hard op-shopper at times?? It's so hard for me to track down a decent bra (in my opinion that means no underwire and no synthetic fabric, so... pretty limiting). But a couple days ago on the way up to Mum's to pick up some fruit, I'd warned Greg that I'd need to spent some money on new bras next time I was out, soon as I arrived Mum was like "I wanted to show you these." and pulled out these perfect cotton sports bra's! So she'd already done the sourcing and I new exactly where to go for them. We've been in tune like that lately.

Anakin won't let me out of his sight these days. He watched a tiny bit of The Grinch a week or so ago and it's totally messed with his mind. He won't go outside on his own, or even play in a different room of the house. We've tried so hard to undo the damage. We showed him pictures of Jim Carrey on the internet so he could see the dude that plays the character. Looked at other Dr Zeuss stories and explained him as the author of the book, the movie originated from. Explained to him that even if it was real, The Grinch is a Hoo and Hooville is a tiny speck on a clover on Mt Newl. Etc, etc. But now he's become paranoid about a whole plethora of other stuff. We take him to the toilet at night and he makes me check first that there's no giant guinea pigs popping their heads up at the window, then he worries he's going to fall in the loo with his poo! I tried to teach him to say "An irrational phobia" but it was a bit too much for him to wrap his tongue around.

Come on down!

Spent the day out visiting my cloistered-rainforest-dwelling father, so as a result Greg's crashed out on the couch after too many home-brews and Anakin's fast asleep after a day in the bush. I should be getting an early night too. Last night was a shocker! Total insomnia set in once again, at least I've had a few really restful nights lately after claiming Anakin's bed all to myself - the best ever mattress in the world!

I had a moment of clarity last night and decided, at the risk I've really crushing my mum-in-laws feelings, all I actually want is to stay home leading up to this birth. Greg doesn't finish up work until my actual due date and I don't want to be away from him at all! I don't want to risk not being able to get hold of him at work when it could take him up to 2 - 3 hours to get up there anyway! He could quite possibly miss everything! I don't want to be without him in the afternoons, when my back is usually at it's worst and I need his help with Anakin. I don't want to have to pack up all the stuff Anakin and I are going to need for an extended stay, the Bubby's gear, hospital bags... The stupid staircases I'll need to climb 50 times a day with my even more stupid, pelvic joints... I can never sleep properly when I'm up there and that's enough of a problem here! I don't mind if I end up in the local hospital, it's just 15 minutes away and it's where I was born - can't be that bad! It's not like I'm high risk and need a bigger facility, I just chose Cairns Base because that's where Greg's family wants me to be! Plus I'd rather Baby's first car ride a short drive straight home! If Greg starts his holidays and I'm still preggas (please God, No!) then we can re-evaluate things from there. But otherwise the oldies can stay here with us or Nick has said they're welcome at her place. I just need Greg to break the news coz I'm too scared. (The bastard's like "Don't worry, I'll manufacture any lies you want me to"!! As if I don't feel bad enough!)

Up until a few weeks ago I was getting slightly hysterical whenever I thought about giving birth to another of Greg's huge boys. But now my perspective has shifted - this pregnancy is punishing, my body's debilitated (this f*cking computer chair doesn't help matters) and I cry myself to sleep feeling totally flogged out, all I'm going to be is full of elation when I finally hear that odd cracking sound as my waters break. I'm going to be singing-out Bring It On!! I want my baby safe and sound and I want my body back to normal!

Belly-belly

These were taken a couple of weeks ago at my IL's.

This one was taken this arvie. One day I'm complaining I need hospitilization and a wheelchair the next I'm mowing the lawn - no wonder I don't get taken seriously.

At first a little TMI

Well either I've been loosing my cervical plug the last few days or it's just coz I can't stop givin' it up to my man lately. 37 weeks pregnant, crippled, but still such a hornbag. I've never noticed a show in either of my other two pregnancies so I'm not too sure what to think. Either way I'm still not going to go too far from home without my maternity bags thrown into the back of the car just in case. Well that's once I've finished packing them of course. I've got all Baby's things ready to go - a big pocket full of tiny little nappies, the cutest little mix n match ensembles, wraps, microfibre washers... For me all I've packed so far is a big bunch of maternity pads >.< some paw-paw ointment and little spritzer with a mild mix of lavender oil and water for my girlie bits.

A few days into December my in-laws are planning on calling through to collect me and Anakin (abducting us) on their way home to Cairns from the opal mines, where we'll stay (maybe) until the big birthday!! If this one is anything like Anakin's late arrival, I'll go stir crazy and make a getaway home midway through my incarceration! Anyway, I anticipate a bit of down-time to shop around for some of the things I might need that I can't seem to pinpoint at the moment.

I finally got into action and ordered Anakin a booster seat, (a long deliberation). His Safe n Sound "Explorer" should be here any day now. It's a convertible booster seat that can be used with a harness belt from 8 to 26 kilo's A thread on Essential Baby (man, I hadn't logged onto that website for so long!) turned me onto a great site where it happened to be on sale so I ended up paying $300 + $25 for freight. And even though the little baby might be getting around in Anakin's dodgy old stroller (mmmm.... for now), at least they'll both be super-safe in the car.

Well Coconuts ended up being an excellent little holiday for us, but we ended up booking into a little cabin rather than taking the Tab. I made some enquires and it was only going to cost me around $50 extra for a cabin, which I would have spent on diesel anyway towing the caravan there and back! They quoted me this bargain (maybe even wrong?) price over the phone, which they had to honour and then when Greg came to join us, they told him at the reception it would be "no extra charge" so I was well happy with that arrangement. Nick and Chris were staying for the weekend in one of the Villas so all the cousins got to hang out. Izzy had his scooter to cruise about on and with all the brawling the boys did on the jumping balloons, I only got to see him when he came back to the cabin for a feed, and just before flopping into bed with exhaustion each night. I took so much fruit along - mangoes, watermelon, pineapples, lychees and banana's we were practically fruitarians the whole weekend. Save the big feed Rene and Tiff came to share with us and the big Macca's breakfast I can't seem to go without at least once whenever I'm up! Oh and the Domino's pizza on the way out of town... We swam and played mini golf and did cross-words, I even had a bit of a bounce on the jumping pillows myself!

More and more people are reacting with disbelief when I tell them I've still got three weeks to go. I must look like such a big belly! Their faces changing from shock to horror to pity. The little preppies at school keep looking at me with suspicious sideways glances, like that baby might just fall out at any given moment. I even give myself a shock when I catch a glimpse of my reflection side-on! It doesn't seem that dramatic from the top!!

It was my last day at work today - the kids are so keen on me bringing in the baby for a visit but they might be on school holidays by then. They like to pester me on the sex and if I've thought of a name yet. One of the boys gets really emotional about it, he gets big tears in his eyes and carries on "Oh! Miss! I just KNOW he's going to be SO CUTE!" (Same boy who doesn't want to discuss dressing up like jungle animals and cavemen for their end-of-year concert item - because he only wants to be a "princess wearing high-heels in a tower"! A beautiful Drama Queen he is.)

I wanna write more but it's getting way late. Maybe be back tomorrow.

Addressing the slackness

Averaging 3 posts a month lately - totally slack alright. I'm sure a time will come when I just end up cutting and pasting my much more frequent status updates from Facebook to fulfil my need to communicate with the world and keep my blog alive.

Wow I can't believe the ticker is down to twenty-something days oh-my! I finally got myself back to anti-natal this morning after 16 weeks of non-attendance. I saw two midwives at once and they were surprisingly thorough. The first thing one of them told me was "We have to give you a needle today". I replied "No. I don't do that." She went from asking me "Are you joking?" and looking at me like I was a complete lunatic, to telling me it was completely my choice once I explained that (correct me if I'm wrong) I didn't see any reason behind giving routine Anti D injections when it's effectiveness for mopping up antigens is within a 72 hour window of an actual bleed, which I hadn't had.

I did a depression screen test. I think I scored 4 out of a total, maybe, 100 possible points. I had to give myself a couple of points for "irrational fear" - I couldn't stop thinking about this young girl who died in a car accident about 6 months ago - she was on her way to anti natal and only had a few weeks before she was due with her first baby. Greg works with her boyfriend. Today I had to drive past the same intersection her and her baby were killed, in bad driving weather, as many weeks pregnant as she was. I was obsessing about which car to take, and praying all morning I got home safely to my kids. Anakin just loves his Mummy so much at the moment, I don't know what he'd do without me. But anyway here I am, all good.

One of the midwives had a feel around and Little Boy's head isn't engaged yet. (In fact he's riding up high under my rib cage, I think they're going to be permanently bent out of shape!) She estimates him to be about 5 and a half pound atm. And predicts him to be somewhere between 7 and 8 pound at full term. We'll see. I reckon he'll be 8 plus the rest!

I'm taking the plunge and towing the caravan with the two boys to Coconuts on my own this weekend! The thing is I've had no practice at reversing the van and suspect I'm gunna totally suck at it no matter how much practice I get anyway! I'm going to have to think ahead at all times and make sure not to park anywhere tricky along the way. Luckily it's such a light little van that when we do actually make it to our camping spot we'll be able to unhook it and pull it into position manually. It'll be a bit of a test for me, but it'll give me more confidence to do it more often. Probably rain on us all weekend, but who cares?! I love the rain. We'll just stay in our togs!

We are really looking forward to Anakin's Playgroup breakup at the swimming pool at the end of the month. I bought him some Christmas coloured boardies to wear today and a plain red T-shirt that we are going to decorate tomorrow at Playgroup. He is SO excited about getting a new book from Santa, who'll be coming along on the firetruck. I told him how Santa called me on his kitchen phone and asked me what sort of book he'd like so Mummy knows he's going to love it!! (A pop-out book chock FULL of dragons!)

Gotta go, Bub's woken up.

What Kisses did.

We took the T@B away on the weekend! I don't suppose you can actually classify it as "camping" when you book into Cairns Coconut Village and there's an abundance of conveniences on hand and Macca's a kilometre up the road for breakfast! The Cook Island and Samoan football team were staying there as well, so there were lots of well defined, smooth, tanned and tattooed bods to admire while lounging around the pool - lucky Anakin had his floaties on with my wandering attention! JOKES!


Actually getting away was so much effort for my poor body. I'd worked Thursday and Friday too (waking up at 3:30 for a wee and not getting back to sleep again is not the greatest way to start a working day). Friday arve after picking up Anakin from Nick's I came home to pack and organise the caravan, after over 2 hours of that my back was totally Fu-barred. I curled up in bed in the faetal position whimpering. It sucks being lame.

I got to go op-shopping Saturday morning and then Izzy (who was in Cairns with his dad) came to hang out with us once we had the camp set up. (Our latest conversations together are like a competition on who can say "corporate sellout" the most in one sentence.) We swam in all the pools and played basketball (well they did) and the boys rode around on their scooters. We ate watermelon and I even had the fine china packed for when Tiff came around for a cuppa.

Saturday night Anakin fell asleep on the way to a friends 30th, themed, "80's Glam Rock". The birthday boy "Hairy-Dan"* had downloaded a huge collection of filmclips from the era - all the stuff we use to play at high school socials, and everyone was dressed up Poison-Whitesnake-Guns-n-Roses style, it was deadly. He lives in a beautiful "boogie nights" style house way on top of a hill with the best views in Cairns. Anakin stayed asleep for a couple of hours but woke up when a drunken, rowdy "Happy Birthday" was sung. We left Greg and his mates to their revelry after that and we took the truck back to the caravan park where I spent the rest of the night half awake waiting for his return (at a very eventual 4am!)

* It's funny. Some of our friends have special names we use so the boys know who we're talking about. We'll be like "Blah blah blah Trent blah blah blah". And they'll go "WHO??" And we'll be "You know. Shaved-down-monkey." And they'll go "OH Yeah." The kids have got new nicknames in the last year of so. Izzy is know as "Squidly" or "Squidy". I rang him when he was suppose to be at the Youth Club one afternoon and he was swimming in the Banyan Creek instead, one of his mates answered the phone with "SQUIDY'S IN THE WATER!!" Now when he's in the shower I creep up to the back louvers and sing out "SQUIDY'S IN THE WATER!" Jack's known to family as "Skinhead" or "Skinned Pig" (very foundly I might add.) And Charlie likes to be know as "Charred Piglet". For reasons unknown. Maybe because we call him Char for short and he is the Skinned Pig's little brother...

One of the pools at the caravan park has a big novelty whale with water squirting from it's spout and a kiddies slide going through the middle. Anakin kept climbing inside and saying "Mum, watch me! I'm in the whales gulp!" Ha ha. He mistakingly says "Gulp" instead of "Gob". Makes more sense anyway... He often makes up his own meanings for words or sayings. Today he was telling me "Do you know what Chop-chop means? It means: Let's fight." I said "No. It means: Hurry up; Get moving." I know he'll stick with his own definition.

We had Izzy home with us for three days last week. He needed time off school and we nursed him back to health (with chopped-up pineapple, watermelon, french-toast and all his favourite dinners) after picking up a cold. (Well, the Swine Flu, according to him. I'm sure if he could think up a worse case scenario he would!) It was Anakin's turn this week and my sister and all her family. I'm amazed I haven't gone down with it - with Anakin's fixation on licking my face and the amount of big-slobby kisses he insists on giving me all the time. I try to tell him Daddy's the only one that's allowed to give me big wet kisses and that he can give his girlfriend toungies when he's old enough to have one. He reckons "You're going to be my girlfriend Mum!" No, but I'll ALWAYS be your Mumma.

Should be lesson planning..

Well I suppose the one good thing about limping around on a permanantly cramped calf musle all day is that it takes some of my brain's focus off the excruciating back and hips and pelvis! Geez, now I well and truly identify with the way they portray pregnant women on tele waddling around, easing themselves awkwardly into chairs .... You should see me getting around! I look like a car wreck. I remind myself of Nana swaying to and fro on her little bowed legs. I think I need some magnesium in a big way, I get cramps in my toes, calves, hips and intercostal muscles. I hurriedly reach down to try and ease one cramp in the middle of the night and end up giving myself another one somewhere else! It's bloody ridiculous! Greg's been very generous with his massages, the sweetheart.


I'm going to do two days a week at school for a few weeks so I can finish up about a month early. Greg's parents should be back in the North by then too, I'm sure they'd love to look after me a bit.

Anakin is so keen for his "Little Brother". He's such a sweet boy. He was just waking up yesterday morning and we were all snuggled up in bed. He had his legs draped over my big fat belly and all of a sudden he sat up with this look of absolute wonder on his face. He could feel the baby's hiccups and he was transfixed. Last night he had a real good giggle before bedtime feeling the Bubby's little heel/toes jutting right out and sliding backwards and forwards just under the surface. I wish I had that particular laugh recorded on my phone as a ring tone - that'd be so cool. He's always cuddling my belly and cooing "You are SO beautiful Baby." He gives a nudge when he can't feel any action and says "Wakey, wakey Little Brother."


I had the ladies back for hot date scones, shortbreads and tea yesterday morning. It was much more relaxed with the big kids in school and just the littlies here. The marchies have eased right off now, so we were able to hang around out under the shade of the caravan annex too.

I've modified and redrawn the floor plans for the virtual house on the block a few more times lately. We actually managed to talk through a few issues without arguing last night!

Silence is Golden.

A couple weekends ago when I was flicking through the real estate guide I came across a photo of the inside of a house that looked really familiar. I quickly worked it out to be the house in Edge Hill where I went to a "Heaven and Hell" themed Halloween party 9 years ago, the party where I met Greg!! The picture even showed the "leafy indoor atrium" that our very first conversation revolved around! That is wild! Here it is:

It's an urgent liquidation sale. Imagine how romantic it'd be if Greg and I ended up purchasing the very house we first laid eyes on each other. I keep day dreaming about it!

Anakin is having his third sleep over at Mum's. Greg and I actually got the bed all to ourselves ALL night. Woot woot! Of course we made the most of that situation ;) Pity another calf cramp jolted me awake at 6o'clock and I didn't get to sleep in.. the joys of pregnancy.

I must of had about 50 braxton hicks contractions when I was shopping in Cairns on Thursday. It's so bloody exhausting. I have them every time I bend over! And sometimes I wake up with sore abs when they've persisted all through the night! I'm going to love my uterus being a normal size again! How can it stretch so much anyway? What is it latex?

The boys where sitting on the couch the other day and I overheard Anakin saying to Izzy "I smell something burning." Izzy goes "Yeah, I smell something burning too." And I'm like "Well if you can both smell something burning I better go check around." Then Izzy's sniffed a bit harder and gone "Oh Poh! Anakin! That stinks!" Ha ha ha. Anakin was just testing out one of his Dad's fart jokes. Greg was really proud too.

On marriage - Greg and I have picked a date next year - our relationships 10th anniversary. (I might have already said?) But whether or not it's just a registry office jobby is yet to be seen. Everytime I log into those wedding planning websites it just spins me out and scares me off. The thing is we can't really afford a huge wedding but when we think of all the people we'd love to celebrate with us - it adds up to about 100! I'd like a big party where everyone gets to dress up as a bride or groom. That'd be fun.

Anyway I better go do something else with my alone-time. I'm going to try to avoid everything I should be doing and focus on what I want to do... just after I hang up the washing..

30 down, 10 to go!

Anakin and Izzy are up at the shed doing some "weights" - the house is peaceful and quiet for a change but I can see this lasting for all of about 2 minutes. Yep - they're back. I have the T@B set up outside, with the annex and a big woven camping mat and all this comfy outdoor furniture - all the duplo is out there for Anakin to play with but the marchflies have just become CHRONIC all of a sudden and it's a ridiculous exercise in torture being out there for any length of time. Anakin has the bad habit of scratching too much and making his bites flare up so I LOATH him getting bitten even once. Usually I'm encouraging them to go out, nowadays I'm like "Quick!! Get back inside!" But the two of them together inside is a recipe for instant rowdiness. They chase each other up and down the hall screaming, wrestle on every bed and mattress in the house. ATM Anakin is imitating a peacock with a peacock feather on his head - have you ever heard a peacock call? They're f#>kn ear piercing. But that's my fault - I taught him that one.

I've been struggling to manage my Symphysis Pubis Disorder - if that's what it even is (Whoops -better uncross my legs..) I had a morning tea on Monday, a heap of ladies came over for cuppas and pastries etc except being school holidays the kids here outnumbered us about 3 to 1.

(Izzy's having a tantrum because Anakin keeps licking him - I'm getting up him for overreacting and he's trying to tell me that I'm the one who overreacts about everything.. now Anakin's stepped on his iPod - Izzy stormed off to get away from everybody and Anakin is blasting the recorder right at my side..)

Plus another school mum came with her "Learning Ladder Books" display. So I found myself flat-out all morning and up and down the whole time everyone was here. (A snapshot would have found at any one time something along these lines - toddlers tipping fish food all over Anakins room, siblings in the lounge room fighting over lego blocks, a kid ringing the dinner bell in everyones earholes, Anakin brawling with babies to try and get them to keep the door shut... you get the picture.) I hope it was relaxing for everyone else coz I didn't even get a chance for a cup of tea! (Actually considering the amount of racing around I did to keep the teapots hot and sorting out everyone elses kids, I'm pretty sure it was!) Monday night my lower back and pelvis and the tops of my legs were that sore I cried myself to sleep. It was horrible! Yesterday I tried to take it easier. Today I'm pottering around getting some housework done but not about to overdo it again that's for sure - I suffer.

The baby belly is doing okay. I'm 30 weeks today and measuring 97cm's round. He gets the hiccups everyday and it makes him run amok. Sometimes he goes bizerk for ages (usually while I'm relaxing in front of the footy) and I worry that he's having a fit in there. He hangs out on the right side, leaving the left quite empty, it's pretty uncomfortable and I try to push him over and get him a bit more centred, doesn't work. I sleep with about 4 pillows propping me up every-which-where, the hardest thing is clamouring over everyone to get out for a wee. I usually end up in Anakins queen bed for a few hours sleep on my own. His is the comfiest bed in the house anyway. I can just see me and Greg are going to end up in separate beds with one little boy each. When I'm having my early morning stretch I always need to remember to pull my feet up and NOT down - otherwise I end up with horrific calf cramps that leave behind bruises and really snap me wide awake, that's been a painful lesson to learn


(The boys are drawing quietly behind me - an absolute miracle!)

I've been sorting through 4 years worth of digital photos, making up folders for printing so have been looking at all Anakin's baby photo's again. Man, he was just the cutest little mugwai. I can't wait to have another one of these:





Izz had an awesome time on his ski-trip and came back safely in one piece. Thank the Lord. He loved snowboarding and his Dad reckoned he was a real natural at it too. He is getting so tall and has the thickest bones! He's never going to break an arm or leg that boy, he's got concrete bones! Even though I packed him all the necessary toiletries, in appealing little mini travel sizes he came back with the GREASIEST hair! I sent him into the shower and he washed it three times to even be able to get a lather! So much for what I thought was an increased interest in personal hygiene!



The holidays have been good. We had a family BBQ out at Dad's last week coz I had my uncle and cousin up from Brissie. We love going out to there, tramping through the bush and getting all down to our roots. My brother has a place out there too (kindly donated by Mum) and has just started renting it out to a guy about my age who has a son who's six months older than Anakin. He came up to introduce himself and the two little boys hit it off really nicely. It was so cool. Anakin still thinks of Reuben as his best friend and Reuben moved away like seven months ago :( He needs a good little buddy. Speaking of "Buddy" that's the last boy's name Mum came up with for me. No thanks. He's got a name! Unless he actually turns out to be a girl..!


Had another beautiful day at the "mushroom pools" too. Anakin was frantically working his way from one of the four pools to another. NON-STOP! Luckily I had a couple of extra sets of eyes and hands to relieve me so I could actually stop and drink my flasked tea. (Me and green tea are back on with a vengeance!) And luckily one of the four pools was heated otherwise he would have been hypothermic - not an inch of baby fat covering that little boy's body. Takes after his dad!


Greg's been working overtime while he can - the cane crushing season is set to be a real short one this year and we've had two lots of rates, power bill, rego - heaps of stuff to pay for lately, so he's been working hard and is only home on Sundays :( I can't wait for it to end - I'd rather be broke with him at home!

I went for a cuppa at a friends house yesterday and during one of our conversations she called me a CONFORMIST!! I had to ring her back later to straighten it out. Surely she was looking for "conventional" or "conservative", both of which I know myself to be in particular areas but CONFORMIST!!?? C'MON!

Update on the 3 Little Piggies.

Izzy's heading to Perisher Valley for some snowboarding with his Dad on Wednesday - so I won't be seeing him on his 13th birthday :( He's just spent the last 5 nights here (he's become addicted to Facebook and his Dad has no internet) It was a nice, incident free stay, thank the Lord! No tears or tantrums from anyone! Although he did blame me for "killing his buzz" a few times when lecturing him about, eating healthily for longevity. Actually I was pleasantly surprised he took my suggestion this morning and ate a big bowl of Just Right instead of Crispix before school this morning. And snacked on strawberries and nashi pears all weekend. (In between glasses of milo I must say.) I don't think he ate even one packet of Mi-Goreng noodles the whole time he was here!!


I measured him on the wall and he has grown 10cm's in under a year! He is a whole 5cm's taller than me now. He's actually cleansing his face, washing his hair and brushing his teeth these days - makes me think there might be some interest in girls starting to spark.. I know he's good mates with a few but if their interested in him is anything but, he's still describing it as "an unfortunate turn of events", or, "sad, but true".


I'm hoping he comes over for his favourite dinner the night before he leaves, so I can make him a birthday cake too. I ordered him the 5th generation iPod for his birthday, he picked out a green one with the inscription "If you can read this you're too close to my iPod." I thought "I rock therefore I am" suited him better, but he didn't get the cross reference. It got shipped today so with any luck it'll be here on time for him to download some songs onto it and take it away with him. He's right into this heavy metal band In Flames and I seriously need to get some footage of his headbanging prowess. He belongs on stage.


Anakin's growing up right before our eyes! Last weekend we took him for a walk up the creek out at Dad's place and he just went totally berserk with joy. It was SO difficult making him understand how dangerous it was! He just desperately wanted to run helter skelter across every slippery rock surface, slide head first into every rock pool, slip down every rapid... I couldn't let go of his hand, it was CRAZY. It was him and 4 adults (mind you I was the only responsible sober one) and he still managed to go underwater a couple of time. He was just SO EXCITED and FULL ON! I kept having to remind him "Bubby! You can't swim!!!!" Greg slipped over on the rocks a few times but thankfully Anakin came away shivering with cold, but otherwise unscathed.

He loves the library and he loves playgroup at the moment. He likes engaging any one he can in a conversation and last week was going around telling all the mums "My Brussy went on Speed did you know?" It sounded terrible and I kept having to explain "he means the ride "Speed", at the Show.." Shame. For ages he's been totally absorbed by comic book Superheroes, all day he's raving on about Sandman and Juggernaut, Green Goblin, Wolverine, Cyclops...

He's developed his first phobia too - he HATE HATE HATES being left buckled in the car, if I have to race back inside for my sunnies or jump out to pay for some fruit on the side of the road he totally freaks and sobs these huge tears rolling down his poor little eyes. The first couple of times I told him he was just being silly, but he can't even stand me closing his door and then walking around the car to get in my side!! Plus one late afternoon a couple weeks ago he was sitting in the boot of the car reading some books while I emptied the scrap bucket and picked some carambolas just nearby. The phone rang so I raced inside for it and spent about half a minute talking - by the time I got back outside he'd closed himself in the boot and was screaming out for me and banging hard on lid. It was SO terrible! He'd peed his pants and was trembling with fear when I got him out but recovered really quickly and reassured me he was only in there for a little tiny while (even the total amount of time he was trapped like that could have only been 30 seconds or so - I was worried it would've felt like an eternity to him!) I asked him if he felt squashed or if he was scared because it was dark in there, or stuffy, but he reckons he was worried that monsters were going to get him. I'm wondering if knowing that he can't get out of the buckles in his carseat reminds of being trapped in the boot. Poor kid, I'll make sure nothing like that ever happens again!! At the moment he's plucking away at this little coconut instrument we've got singing me "Billy Jean's not my Love, she's a just a girl, who says that I am the one.."

The littlest brother in the family feels so humongous inside me already. But is still managing to do full somersaults - so painful! Actually I don't really know what he's doing in there but my God, sometimes I have the hardest ridges sticking right out - I think maybe his butt and back. At night I wake up so painfully tight and bulging out in really odd shapes. My belly is square like a box from side on - just like it was with Anakin! I've had someone comment "you can't have too long"!!! Weve only just reached the third trimester!!

Anyway I better go - this chair is killing my back and the floor's not going to vacc itself, unfortunately...

Tagged.

What is your current obsession? My fringe.

What are you wearing today? I bone coloured rayon tunic pleated in the centre of the neckline so as there's lots of room down below for the expanding tum. With espresso coloured Seafolly drawstring pants.

What's for dinner? Raw beans, carrot, snow peas, sugar snaps, red capo, broccoli, cauliflower, corn off the cob, cabbage, celery, parsley, sunflower and sesame seeds and whole egg mayo. (Coleslaw! - That took me an eternity to cut up.) With something - I dunno what??

What's the last thing you bought? Fruit and veges at Woolies.

What are you listening to right now? The budgies. And Horton on tele "It is clear you are no match for my technique. I see you have not mastered the ways of the snapping branch. I will make monkeys of these monkeys!"

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour where would you go? With Vanilla, where she's going.

Which language do you want to learn? AUSLAN

What do you love the most about where you currently live? Great big yard. One neighbour and I can't even see their place. Peaceful and quiet.

What is your favourite colour? Purple. Lilac is nice.

What is your favourite peace of clothing in your own wardrobe? The seafolly pants I'm wearing I will live in until they become rags.

Describe your personal style? Dress like a pirate day. Everyday.

If you had $300 what would you spend it on? A convertible booster seat for Anakin, ('cept I might need a bit extra).

What are you doing after this? Finishing Anakin's drawing with him, making some phone calls for Greg and getting the sheets off the line.

What are your favourite films? The Man in the Iron Mask, Boogie Nights, The Beach, Blood Diamonds, The Wedding Singer, Anchor Man..

Do you collect anything? Baby teeth.

What makes you follow a blog? Relatability. (That's not even a word is it?? But you know what I mean)

Do you like to comment on blogs or just lurk? When I write a comment I always seem to be talking about myself anyway, so I figure it really belongs on my blog.

What's one thing you dream of doing? Building.

What is your biggest regret? Failing to finish a librarian traineeship because I was too preoccupied falling for the sweet talk of doomed love.

What is your favourite thing to do on a rainy day. Swim. Read and snuggle.

Do you have a tattoo? One in memory of a beautiful friend. A peacock feather on my foot would be nice.

What are your favourite books? The one I'm reading at the moment is INCREDIBLE! You're probably sick of seeing it over toward the side there but it's like 0ver 700 pages and it's taking me a while. I love books about interesting characters in realistic predicaments. True to life stuff like, Tattoo, Things Without a Name, Featherstone, War Boy, Candy ...

Describe your ideal holiday? Something that doesn't involve food preparation or cleaning up!! Lazy, lazy, lazy days. Staying somewhere obscenely luxurious. Reading, swimming, sunbathing, shopping, exploring, eating out, dressing up, undressing..

Consuming kids.

I'm suppose to be at an anti-natal check up right now. I'm wagging. It was such a farcical last time I couldn't be bothered.

Plus me and Bubby took the new truck (Woot! Woot!) to Innisfail yesterday to visit Granddad. Before stopping at Brumbies to pick up some bruffins to take, I made a drive past the bench seat my Great Uncle Dick hangs out at, sure enough there they were - And Granddad was there too, with his neighbour Dutchie. Uncle Dick's posse of home boyz has grown! So me and Bubby joined the oldies for a yarn before going up to the house for a cuppa.

We were on a mission to buy Izzy some new clothes and boxers. I have to shop in the mens section for him now! Spent a small fortune too. I bought him 3 pairs of shorts from Jay-Jays, a couple T-shirts and a pair of shorts from Target and 6 pairs of boxers from K-Mart - nothing much was on spesh either. And for Anakin a Walt Disney lipgloss set he couldn't live without.

Issy and Jack worked on Rowan's farm on the weekend, unblocking sprinklers in the lychee paddock. They made a hundred and ten bucks each. Their first serious paid work!

Him and Greg had a big shitfight the moment I picked him up. So I drove him all the way home to his Dad's to get them out of each others faces, and cried all the way home because I was looking forward to seeing him and then all night long at our screwed up situation. Izzy and Greg have always struggled to get along, they just don't relate. Izzy's a smart aleck teen at the moment and has always been real emotional and sensitive. Greg's always scrutinising everything he says and does and doesn't know how or when to exercise his rational adult brain. I feel like I get on his case enough without anyone else doing it and wish Greg could just be this neutral, calming, influence. Anyway this is depressing, isn't it? God.

The little berry belly-dweller is getting heaps bigger and stronger! I feel massive! Yesterday he gave me such a swift kick to the bladder I nearly peed myself at the checkout. Anakin loves to feel his little brother in there and fights his dad off for the best vantage point. He tells everybody "Andre's in there!"

Feast of Friends

Oh my God I'm in baby clothes heaven. I was given a TONNE on the weekend and I've just finished thinning them out a bit, clipping up all the hundreds of press studs, washing them and hanging them on the line! Actually I ran out of pegs there's that many! But how adorable are they flapping on the line? So, so cute! I can't stand some colours on my kids, so all the bright oranges and reds and blues get set aside for someone else. I never make use of denim on babies and things with buckles or chunky zips, or anything too dressy, so that all goes in the pass-along pile too. That was one of the more fun jobs I've had for ages!

Me and Greg were kept busy last week getting the place ready for his birthday party on Saturday night. It was excellent. Catching up with our good mates for a weekend of fun was just what we needed. We kept the fire going ALL night. We had a great barbie and beautiful salads for dinner. Greg had prepared about 40L of rum and coke on tap that got finished! And a keg of home brew on tap as well. I rationed myself one corona. That went down good. Hope the little foetus didn't mind too much.

I might of squeezed in an hour or two of sleep before hopping up again to do the breakfast shift. All the fellas had bacon and sausages and eggs on the barbie, but for the girls I made a big fruit salad to eat on pancakes with brown sugar and cream. YUM! Our friends from Cairns brought down their jet ski so after brekky we all headed down the beach. Even the preggy chicks had a turn! That might of been a bit more irresponsible than the beer :/ After others insisted on seeing my big round belly exposed in the sunshine, I've been paying for it today. My clothes on it are hurting, it looks like a shiny red tomato, and I've spent half the day rubbing in after-sun-gel and moisturizer and spritzing it with toner! Crap!

After jet skiing the last of us came home to try and make more of a dent in the left-overs! Once the last carload left we had to admit it was all over rover. Thankfully Greg let me sleep for a few hours, I suppose I'll be repaying the favour when he comes home from work in a few minutes.

The schools annual fund raiser was on Saturday too, so as well as jet skiing Anakin got to slug teachers with wet sponges, ride on ponies, do gymnastics and jumping castles, eat banana splits and ride on the mini fire truck!!

I better be quick, Izzy's just got home, (his greeting was to flick me on the sunburn, grr!) he's coming out to dinner with us tonight. I took him to his subject selection seminar on Wednesday night with his cousin. Looks like he wants to do Info' Tech', YAA - which is like a business studies subject where the kids get to design, create and market a product, liquidate their company at the end and stuff - sounds real good, and some other subject I can't remember the name of but is just fancy for "Metal Work". It was nice to be with Izzy on his own, coz when he's here with Anakin it's all screaming, wrestling and baiting one another. Which is what I'm listening to right now. Gotta go sort it out.

Boy trouble

Greg's birthday's coming up in a couple of weeks. And how's this? His parents are giving him their PATROL!!! OMG!! We'll be able to tow the t@banacle around with IT anywhere!! We've been a one car family since I sold my little white Festiva to Izzy's dad, so having an almost new 4WD will be incredible! Not that I'll be the one driving it. I won't be game! I've put too many little scrapes and dings in Greg's Magna since I started driving it! It's over 10 years old and I get into enough trouble over them! Greg's always rousing on me for parking to close to things, it's more like people park too close to me and then I can't get out again without getting caught up on their bull bars! .... There was that wheely bin I wiped out around the corner, the other day, the sidemirror isn't much chop now...

Anakin is in the habit of throwing himself prostrate on the floor whenever he is itchy and demanding "Rub! Rub! Scratch me!!" He doesn't even come and find us, he just lies down on the spot wherever he is when he decides he's itchy. He's a funny little thing. The other night I was putting him to bed when he goes "Mum, can you bite my toenails off so I can eat them?" He's a full little grot at the moment - wants to pee on things and has this obsession with drinking his wee like Bear Grills has to in extreme survival moments. We got sick of him whinging about it and let him. He dry wretched about half a dozen times while we stood around laughing at him. He hides behind the curtains to eat play-doh and lies down on his messes to cover them up and says "Don't look at me!" Of course he's an absolute little angel as well - real brainy and full of personality, most other little kids seem like non-entities in comparison. Also very insistent and high demand! A lot like Izzy when he was little but without the whole "head case" component (which he still has!) and Izzy wasn't the adventurous kind like Anakin either.

I've totally ripped it up Izzy a few times lately. He expects me to treat him like a little bloody prince and never wants to make an effort to contribute when he's here. He loves laying guilt trips on me and tries to make me feel like shit about stuff that's already over and done with or things that haven't even happened yet. He never puts his Dad through the wringer like he does with me and yet I'm the one who's looked after him every day of his life the last 12 years, made sacrifices and invested so much of my emotion into him - and his old man was AWOL for 10 years or so doing absolutely God know what (NOT putting himself in a better position to support his son I know that much, or paying maintenance for that matter). Man, it pisses me right off it's so totally unjustified and mean. I end up screaming at him so the neighbours can hear me, which isn't any better. I have to keep my reactions to him constantly in check coz he just rubs me up the wrong way so much. We can be good company for each other but on a whole I hope things get a whole lot easier with our relationship. Talk about volatile.

The shit that shits me.

Anti-natal was a complete waste of time yesterday. Besides the fact that I was kept waiting an hour, after striding into the doctors office and sitting down, he goes "So you're due next week." Umm, no did you even look at me as I walked in?? "Oh hang on I'm looking at your file from 2006.. So you're due in February!" Try again mate, maybe third time lucky. I told him I had bad lower back pain, and I felt like my fanny needed physiotherapy and some days I have real difficulty standing on one foot to get my leg in my pants and that I think I'm suffering with some degree of SPD. His response was "What's SPD?" No word of advice. I told him I was suffering with my teeth and thought I had an abscess. No word of advice. Even though it seems to be general knowledge that gum disease can cause premature labour. I told him I'd had a scan 2 weeks prior and was hoping to discuss the results. He flicked back a page and said "Oh yeah, it's all good.." I said "I thought I might have access to a CD or some film I could take home.." He goes "I wouldn't know about that.." He gave me a quick scan on his ultra sound machine which was cool and when I commented that I'd love to take it home with me, he goes "Why?" Err coz I like to collect medical machinery, why do you fucking reckon you clown?? He didn't ask me about ANYTHING!! Surely there's some standard questions you ask a pregnant lady the first time you see her as a doctor - about bloody diet or comfort or blood group or SOMETHING! I could of done a vastly better job sitting there pretending I was a doctor!!

People have been getting to me lately though. Last Friday I wanted to get cash out at the servo and I told her as much and she goes "oh it's too late, it's already gone through". (This is BEFORE I'd even swiped my card or put my pin in or anything!) Because she wasn't competent enough to backtrack through the motions and start the process on the computer slash register again, she made out like it was totally impossible coz she didn't like the look of me (just like one of my uni lecturers who used to chase me out of class especially to tell me I had an attitude problem.) It just made me instantly irate. I glared her down and said "Well that sucks". (Aren't I mature?) Just like when the council librararian tried to make me feel guilty about the freight costs involved in shuttling books backwards and forwards between libraries when I wanted to reorder a book they'd already sent back when I couldn't collect it in time. Like she was forking out for it personally - Err, lady. Are you trippin'? That's the service this facility provides to the public. As a member of the library that's just what you're spose to do for me. Don't take it personal like.

And then there's this idiot up the road who came around one day with his wife beater stretched around his huge beer gut and his little rugger shorts coz he heard along the grape vine he could get some movies off Greg. Never even met the guy before. He drops in here all the time and without fail goes to me "The big fella asleep?" (who's asleep at like 10:30 in the morning?) and then I say "Greg's at work. He doesn't get home til about 4o'clock". And then he tells me about his technical difficulties and I tell him that I'll pass the message along and Greg might be able to help him out later. And then a couple days later he comes over again "Is the big fella asleep?" "NO! He WORKS during the DAY!" No joke we've had this conversation about 5 times now. God he shits me. Is he suffering from Gulf War Syndrome, is he trying to catch me in the nude or something or could he really be that dumb. Greg, coz he's a good guy, unlike me, goes up and helps him with his technical issues, this usually just involves pushing the title button on his remote, so maybe he is just that dumb. I just can't see myself rocking up on someone out of the blue hitting them up for favours, when you've actually got no shared past whatsoever and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON. He comes now to drink a beer with Greg (less than half his age) and invites ME to sit down with them coz he's about to share his story of travelling to Indonesia. You can't invite someone to sit down when they're actually in their own home can you??? I was just like "I'm cookin' tea". Oh man some people just shit me! That's my vent, where's yours?

This weekend just gone was another beauty. We had a show holiday on Friday and took the kids on Friday night. Anakin did a few more rides this year and Izz rode SPEED (Just before him and his cousin got on they stopped the ride and did maintenance on it! OMG! I was like "Bail out guys!")





We checked out the pavilion and some of my kids Science books were on display. I was very proud of myself because each page they'd opened them on, all the work was marked and commented on with gold stars and stickers. (It's really hard to find the time to look at all their work all the time so that was a bit of a fluke!) There was a slideshow of the class doing all different activities around the school as well and I couldn't help gushing to Greg, "Look! That's so-n-so!" and "oh look how gorgeous they are!" (They're extra cute when they're not actually in your face. No, that's not true. They're always beautiful kids.) We ate fresh cream waffles and Rotary curry chicken for dinner under the grandstand. The little lambikins and jersey calf at the petting zoo were so sweet, Anakin went through a few dollars worth of feed there!

We rode the ferris wheel and bought flashing light sabers and bubble guns and fairy floss. Izzy finally succumbed to the fashion trend of a flat broad brimmed hat. Man I've been trying to put him off buying one of those for ages. They're the ugliest looking dopiest things to wear on your head, I swear. And another time when I wasn't looking he went searching for a ying-yang pendant, except he could only find one with a couple of gunja leaves on it, so he bought it anyway! I tolerated it for a few days but made him take it off yesterday! Oh God! I hope he has more sense then that!! I've been trying to find him something nice as a replacement and then I can get rid of it all together! We stayed for the fireworks and then drove up to Cairns for the rest of the weekend.


Saturday morning I had my half price day at the op-shop (frequent shopper rewards. You should ask about that Vanilla ;). I took Izzy to the podiatrist (he's got no spring in his feet and runs along like his legs are made of concrete) and then dropped him off to his Dad who was staying at his sister's place and recovering from a gig in Port Douglas. Hung out with Tiff in the arve and then she took us home and cooked us spag-bol from Master Chef. It was pretty good too.


Greg spent the afternoon getting blind with his brother (who, after dumping my sister admits to having spend the month since, pissed or asleep! Idiot.) at various seedy locations. And managed to walk home at about 9.30pm after getting into a drunken brawl which eventually sent the venue into lockdown mode. I don't think they'll be going back there in a hurry. And that's what Greg was doing as I was having a genteel tea and talking wedding plans. Ugh!

Sunday, we got to take Bubby on the skyrail up to Kuranda with a couple of mates of ours we were in desperate need of a catch up with. Spent a few hours up there pottering around the markets and lollyshops and stuff and then took the Scenic Rail back again. I loved it! So did Anakin :). Can't wait to do it again!

There was some highlights in amongst our excellent weekends too. Playgroup is always one of them. Been meeting some lovely Mums there and Anakin is enjoying himself more and more. And Greg's been playing awesome basketball every week.

And last Tuesday (after getting put off for another week) I had my first anti natal appointment. I inquired as to whether they could squeeze me in down in the XRay department after I was done, and they could!! So I was busy trying to scull down enough water in time after just totally emptying myself for a wee test! My bladder was still completely empty once I got there (my stomach was pretty full though!) but gradually started to fill up the longer I lay there. I'd asked Greg if I was allowed to find out the sex the previous afternoon, if by chance they could fit me in, he thought about it for a bit and then said "Yeah, okay, if I get some tonight." (I looked at him unbelieving, thinking after all this rigmarole is THAT all it takes!!) And then he goes "AND tomorrow night!" I suppressed my urge to point out to him that he gets it all the bloody time anyway so that was a pretty senseless bargain and shouted "DONE!!" instead and raced away to hide so he couldn't change his mind! Anyway it all went really well, I think, he didn't really say too much. I dunno about the machinery they use in that place though, I think it's a bit out dated and the images I was seeing weren't as clear as I'd hoped. I'm hanging out for next Tuesday when I can talk to the doctor about it all and hopefully get some film or a CD. The bloke doing it was a trainee and when it came time to find out if Berry has girl or boy bits he took a painfully long time and then says "I'm sorry, I can't actually see what your baby is today.." I swallowed down the disappointment and said bravely "Oh. That's okay.." but we were both still searching the screen when out of all the graininess came the most obvious little set of bollies and a little dicky coming out between. I was like "OH LOOK!!" and he said "Oh, hang on, here we go, it looks like a boy.. blah blah blah, we can't say 100% because sometimes it can be a swollen vagina etc. Then he got his supervisor in to confirm that he had all the images needed etc. So the older bloke sat down for another good look around while I couldn't stop grinning at the thought of another little boy to add to my bunch. I asked him to have another look between the legs for me, which he did and agreed that there seemed to be a definite penis there and that he would be extremely surprised if it turned out otherwise . Hee hee hee!! I can't wait to meet him!!!

Birthday boy

Had a lovely couple of weekends again. No chance to blog.... well I'd probably have the time if I could correlate my thoughts as fast as I can type... a bit slow witted I think.

Bubby turned 3 last weekend. On the Saturday we took him for a bush walk to a beautiful sandy bay for a picnic and a bit of fishing. It was gorgeous weather and we ate cherries and apples and pistachio nuts.


I had tried to phone Izzy to join us, but couldn't reach him and was a bit sad he wasn't there. Anyway it's was so deserted over there we walked right to the middle of the bay and I took the opportunity to do a bit of nudey sunbaking. Greg was keeping an eye on the few people wandering around at the very ends of the huge stretch of beach through the binoculars to make sure noone was coming our way. After an examination of some newcomers, he reckons "one of those boys looks like Izzy!" I was too busy soaking in the rays and didn't pay too much attention. But we packed up and left soon after and made our way to the start of the trail where the two kids were. As we got closer I recognised the way one of them moved around and sung out "Izzy!!" Sure enough it was him! With his mate Owen! Of all people we could of seen! They'd come over to play Man Verse Wild (both my boys have been thoroughly affected by Bear Grills the survival expert) and spent the afternoon after we'd left, eating hermit crabs and pippies and battling the elements.

Saturday night we went to one of Greg's workmates birthday party and Anakin had a ball there too. We left for home pretty early (not so early that Greg didn't have a chance to get well stewed) because I still had to make birthday cake batter and wrap presents and Greg had to assemble Anakin's kitchen. He was complaining too "This thing has more screws in it than my shed!!". Plus we were missing a bit! Friggin piece 65!! Greg had to bodge it up out of an old piece of ply.

Sunday moring was classic with all the presents being opened. (We've had to re-enact that morning every day since) He's such a grateful little darling and then we all went to the markets for our favourite Thai breakfast.


He was a real head turner in his starwars trooper costume and his hero helmet firmly in place. Thankfully he fell asleep on the way home so I had a chance to put up some decorations, cook the cake, make punch etc before his party guests arrived (his bro and big cousins!).

It was a lovely little celebration and we finished it off with another bushwalk just before dark.

Willy Wonka Wigs

That's Greg's Scattergories answer he gave for Something that is Black and expected 3 points for. We gave him the thumbs down but were willing to give him one point for "wigs" but he had a tantrum and wouldn't play anymore. Were we fair? I really don't know anymore. He's carried on so much about it since, I'm starting to doubt.

Well I turned 35 since I posted last. I'm a total old bag now (I just hope Greg doesn't catch on. On second thoughts, being pregnant, I'm just as much a total horn bag and he'd be mad to trade me in considering the X-rated treatment he's been receiving! I've morphed in to a complete porn star.)

Nick threw me a birthday party on Saturday night, so we had a weekend of family and friends and heaps and heaps of food!! We parked our caravan down there for the night. We towed it there the really, really long way so we could watch everyone we passed gaulking at it in amazement (well, that's how I interpreted their looks). And then Greg spent half the night taking all the relies for a grand tour (the whole two metres of it). It was cool fun. We had a fire and played Scattergories. Everyone bought me chocolates, (you'd be surprised how much respect you can get from teachers when you start handing around ferrero rochers at the staff meeting) and gave me wads of money - my Uncle Barry baked his generous donation into a loaf of bread! Greg even had some fire crackers, which nearly gave Grandad, who'd already gone off to bed, a heart attack, poor ole boy! Mum looked after all the kids at my place. Except for Anakin who partied the hardest in his spiderman costume with his new spiderman knik-kniks pulled up on the outside as superheroes do, entertaining everyone with his "moonwalk". (He's going through a very timely Michael Jackson phase and spends half the time either serenading people with "Smooth Criminal" or pretending he's a Michael Jackson poster by standing frozen in a weird pose.)

Anyway last weekend was awesome too.. We spent most of Sunday out at Dad and Di's. Greg and Dad had a few beers and tinkered around with one of the golf buggies until it was fixed. And I lit this humongous bonfire that was mostly covered with green stuff that only I could have ever got going without fuel.... Skilled. I know. I swear my belly grew heaps that day. The heat from tending the fire made it swell up like yeasty bread dough! That's how I baked up Anakin so good - I had so many bonfires to light after Cyclone Larry! And Saturday I took off nice and early all on my own. I had breakfast with my Grandad and caught up with my great uncle Dick. And then drove up to Cairns to shop for Anakins birthday presents. I was joined by my girlfriend and we both had a very gratifying splurge. I ended up buying Anakin that gorgeous wooden kitchen from Target. (I bought last seasons, because the colours where heaps more suitable for a boy and it came with all the dishes included unlike the new one which is mostly pink and your expected to buy the dishes separate. I got them to reduce the price for me coz it was from last year and the box was a bit shattered. So it was the one I wanted anyway AND a bargain.) He wants to be a "Cooker" too! And I got him one of those hero helmets that I think he's going to pee his pants over! Again I bloody searched high and low for one on spesh coz basically I'm opposed to paying full price for things. His favourite question lately (besides "Mum are we eating moo-moo?", "Are we eating maa-maa?" and ""Do we eat boc boc bagark!!) is, "What's under my skin?" So I bought him a well illustrated book on the human body and one about Australian birds too. He's right into his nursery rhymes and non-fictions that kid. Not so much the story type boy (except for Hairy Maclary of course).

I'm getting Braxton Hicks contractions really bad nowadays. A couple of nights ago I had them ALL NIGHT! And usually once a day I get heart palpitations too. Kinda makes me fall in a bit of a heap for a few minutes. Tomorrow I'm going for my first anti-natal appointment. I'm expecting them to book me in for my 20 week scan then, for the following week. Greg's still debating as to whether he wants to know the gender or not and I'm figuring I'll just have to go along with whatever he decides. But I'm hoping he'll take pity on me and ask to find out!!!! We think we're having another boy and have another cool "A" name picked out for him. And if it's a girl I think she'll be "Frances" because all the other cool names I love like "Columbine" and "Abra" he totally loathes.

Anyway I need to stretch out my belly on the couch for a bit so as Miss Bea Haven would say "Mas later bitches".

My boys

Anakin compliments and professes his heartfelt love and devotion to me all day long! He is just the most sweetest child. Greg insists that he coaches him on the quiet, but that's just a big fat lie - coz I reckon Anakin is about a thousand times sweeter. He says the most precious things like "Mum, you are the nicest lady I've never met" (except he means "ever met" of course), "You are my Love", "Mum, you are so soft and cuddly and squiggy and smoogy and SWEET!", "You're my beautifulest", "I'll look after you Mum" and of course "I love you SO MUCH". He is a total darling!!!

He's got some mispronunciations and funny made up words that I've been meaning to record too. He has real trouble pronouncing "breakfast" and has been calling it "breakwurfst" for a couple of years now, it makes us laugh every time he says it. He loves taking photo's and everytime he wants to snap one of us he goes "Smoto!", which basically means "smile for the photo!" It just seems logical to me so I use the expression all the time too.

Got to see Izzy for a brief minute or two tonight and gave him big cuddles (he is the opposite of Anakin and a total ambivalent cuddler, he just hangs there limply while I try wrap him up in my arms.) He's taller than me now! Which makes his cheeks in a real good spot for kissing. I'm not about to hold back my feelings - even if it does make him sqeemish! He just received a totally average report card! Yikes! He is not motivated for school at all that boy. He sends me texts from his school bus like "save me from the clutches of school" and "Not school! I'm going to cut myself!" He did get all A's for Info' Tech' - thank God, a saving grace. And he did well in Man' Arts too but otherwise there was just one C after another. He starts Agriculture next term, Home Ec' and Music too which I think will suit him. His books are so battered from being carted around in his school bag all year, I'm going to organise new books and folders for the new semester. YES! Stationary to shop for when I'm in Cairns this weekend. Not to mention my treasure box at school needs restocking.

I took my special needs kids for the last time today. I'm going to miss my Friday job. Working with small groups is EASY! I had my older boys make playdough today (you can turn a 'reading comprehension" lesson into anything! "Grammar" - not so much). I thought they might like to give it to one of the younger kids or a sibling but they were totally into it! They we're all like "Miss. Do we get to KEEP THIS??!! AWESOME!!" It's been charity work so far coz I haven't been paid as yet (the job bloody started last term!). I've been onto admin' and it looks like they're going to pay me all at once and I'll get taxed big heaps. Which is going to hurt. Well until tax return time anyway...

They say that pregnant women have lowered immunity but I reckon that's bullshit. I've usually got a forcefield of glowing health protecting me actually. Except I've had Greg coughing all over me for the last couple of months. And taking sickies and lying in bed for whole days at a time. (This is a picture Anakin took of him. He says "this is where Dad's being a sook".)
And now, I wouldn't go all out and say I'm actually sick, but I'm not entirely well at the moment. I've got this cough which gets you right in the gag reflex - you go from coughing one moment to gagging the next. I think that's what woke me up at quarter to 3 this morning... and now the sun should me coming up soon and I still haven't gone back to sleep. Plus we're spose to begin our drive to Cairns in about an hour. Better keep the panadols close today..

Dramas and the balm that soothes them.

Me and Greg have agreed that our relationship can't go on like this. We argue over the same shit all the time (Greg actually does some stuff around the place for the first time in a month or so and then he totally lords it on and takes the attitude that he can boss me around for how I spend my time, questions me about what I do with myself all day, how much housework I got done etc and then I threaten to kill him in his sleep if he ever mentions housework again unless he's outlining to me which jobs it is he's about to perform coz I'm actually the only one who does it, and that I never professed to be a friggen Stepford Wife and if it's one of those types he wants, I know a few, I'll point him in the right fucking direction.) And then it goes on. It's shockin'. It's pretty deeply entrenched behaviour and we'll need to work consistently at just easing up on each other and getting off one anothers' cases. Hopefully... I've just got the shortest fuse when someone is bossing me around and Greg seems to resent everyone who is not working hard when he actually is (for a change..). Anyway, hopefully better days are ahead.

Took the two kids for a shop yesterday. Me and Anakin picked Izzy up nice and early and then went to Maccas (just a short 45 minute drive away) for a hearty breakfast and a big play on the playground. (Anakin is getting much more cheerful and congenial towards other kids now thankfully, he was terrible for a while there - growling like a tiger at any kid who came near him; refusing to get out of the car if there was other kids in the park; telling me "Mum! Quick! Get away from those monsters!!", if we went too close to other kids with our shopping trolley! With much coaching he now sees them as potential play mates and smiles and asks names and is cooperative. Phew!) Then we took our time looking around the shops. I bought the kids new shoes and some warm clothes. And then we wandered around the pet shop and came home with the most adorable little guinea pig "Milo". She is so placid and a perfect pet for Bubby.
It was really nice being with my two boys, we had a lovely time together. We ended up taking cupcakes to Grandads, he was at golf but we saw Uncle Barry there briefly before he went to tee off as well. I'm so glad Grandad has his golf to keep him busy. (I think I've mentioned all them blokes on my Dad's side are all mad keen golfers.) It never matters too much if anyone's home there or not, the house is always open so we let ourselves in for a cuppa tea and a trip to the toilet and just leave a note.

We've spent a few afternoons at the block lately too which is always so good. We planted two bowen mangoes, a rambutan and two leopard trees. And today I bought a jaboticava to take out. We cleared the guinea grass right away from the trees and are in the process of cleaning up under the clump of guava trees. Soon I'm going to get a backhoe in to skim the top off the hill and level a house pad. Can't wait for that!!

Anyway I bought some aquatic plants for Anakin's fishtank at the markets this morning as well so I should go and sort them out. Catch ya.