The Con

I just wanted to come here and brag about the successes of a boy I spent my childhood growing up with 6 months out of the year. Jesse, (who was once my defacto step brother and eventually became my younger brother's half brother, yep, we're one of those families) finished his first novel "The Con" which was highly commended in the ABC fiction award! It has been published by ABC Books and is being released on Wednesday!! The Con was described as being "a beautifully written, scalpel-sharp examination of the promises and betrayals of creativity and the people and the choices who make us who we are". You gotta be happy with THAT!!

Jesse spent half of his year with his Mum in the big smoke and then half of it with us in the sticks were he would educate me and Nick on all the trends in popular culture that had occurred since last time he saw us and that we would so obviously remain ignorant if it wasn't for his annual visits. He provided all the cultural capital we could need if we were suddenly deposited into the real world - The Starwars Trilogy, The Goonies, technical lego, the knowledge of the delights of something called "Macca's"... In turn, I credit myself with his ability to make a mean cubby and the bravado to tackle the most rugged and dangerous rides in the go-cart. He was my comrade in the war against having to eat disgusting things like powdered milk and liver and onions! He was the kind of kid who would draw himself pictures of the world map and label all the countries and capitals and major land formations when he was like 8 years old...for FUN!! Even though I'm sure he thought of us as completely backwards he did alright with us... he didn't mind so much when I refused to roleplay Princess Leia (I was a Hans Solo kinda girl)and he appreciated the Monkey Magic headbands I made for him out of paper and feltpens.

Anyway in honor of Jesse the writer my question for this Monday is: Are you a touch-typist? (ie. do you use the correct finger postioning without the need to look at your keyboard.)

Happy New Years Everyone!!! My resolution is to exorcise the Screaming Banshee Woman - to speak in a measured and calm voice as much as I possibly can!

Since Christmas

Well Christmas has been and gone and ours was like many other I suppose - sweating it out in our furry Christmas hats while stuffing ourselves with way too much food, trying to rig up some makeshift cooling mechanisms in the ridiculously hot weather and of course ending the daylight hours with some sporting activity - in our case trying not to loose the soccer ball down Mum's 80 degree mountainside ...

My brother Nicholas arrived here early Christmas morning with a couple of six packs of Woodstocks, so my plans of a quiet, snuggly, Christmas morning with Greg and Bubby (and Izzy on speakerphone) went out the window, he blared his personal play list out of the computer all morning and when I made my stern request for carols he put on South Park's Christmas Special. GRRR!

The food, as always was exceptional. Except instead of trying our luck in finding the gold coins inside the pudding it was finding-the-tip-of-Biggy's-finger-inside-the-coleslaw. (Just joking. He assured us he already fished it out before he added the mayo'.) All in all, a very noice day.

As I was telling Izzy on the phone the other day, the rooster has gone absolutely feral. It crows all hours of the day and night. It humps thongs. If you go through the front door and come too close to his beloved thongs he swoops in, grabs a hunk of the skin on top of your foot with it's beak and latches on with venom! Friggin' hurts too!! Picture me, shaking off this rooster who takes a piece of my flesh with it, screaming in rage, picking up one of his darling shoes (probably with a mound of rooster jism on it) and pegging it full speed, meeting my target fair and square with a spray of feathers! This place is a circus!

Anakin's language development has accelerated to the max. I've started teaching him Wiggles songs like "Hot Potato" that have hand movements that go with it. Yesterday I bought him a Wiggles Concert DVD - besides some cricket and tennis, So You Think You Can Dance and Survivor, it's the only telle he's watched. I think he's going to be a full Wiggles convert, just like Izzy was ten years ago.

A tip for the ladies - if you want to keep your man inside the house to help with the baby and the housework rather than dissappearing out to the shed etc, just get around the house with no gear on. They can't drag themselves away! Ha ha. It's been working for me for the last hour or so...(I do have astounding breasts...JOKE!)

I've been trying to pinpoint the unwritten rules I live by for a writing challenge for Thirty Voices. Man, I can't come up with much. I must be completely undisciplined or something.

Izzy's been having a blast with his dad. They've been to Luna Park, swimming at Bondi and are planning to climb the bridge.

And that reminds me Paul and his girlfriend tracked down a rare copy of my favourite book "Hanta Yo" for me! I can't wait to get my hands on it when Izzy brings it back home. What an awesome present. If they start reading it before Iz leaves though, they're never going to want to give it to me...it's THAT good!

I came home from the shops with negative 65 cents in my account yesterday. I thought I was keeping myself in check, avoiding the aisle with the half price 1000 threadcount sheets and everything. Besides Anakin's DVD I ended up getting Izzy a big Zebra stripe mat that goes well with his new cotton doona cover, as I'd been wanting to revamp his room a bit while he was away and a very well priced weights bench for Greg which (since realising the urgent state of my finances) he will be paying me back for! I think I can stop spending money now and just look forward to making some!!

She Came!

I got to see the over excitable, atypical little nymphette early this morning. She stayed for a couple of hours and then went off in search of the next adventure. She cracks me up - she is totally lacking conventional schooling, but if you wanna know how to soften and kill a chook ready for eating, or how to a catch a barra', just ask Kyra. While she was here she unravelled this 7 foot long, King Brown snake skin that she had tanned! It was making a menace of itself, hanging around her camp up the Pascoe so her dad killed it with a shovel. It musta been HUGE! I'm already looking forward to the next time I see her.

Now as a tribute to Kyra the next question I will pose to you is: What has been your favourite costume that you've ever worn to a fancy dress party or performance. (JT please answer this one!)

Kyra hosted a Heroes and Villains party a few years back. I dressed as Rollergirl, coz she was my hero from Boogie Nights. I'd enhanced these hotpants with all kinds of pink ribbons and sequins and made fuzzy pink covers for my rollerblades, which I wore the entire night - even moshing in their little jam room. It was so much fun. We were like a bunch of kids running amok. She made a Xena Warrior Princess costume and looked totally convincing! So tell us, what has been your best costume? I'm dying to know!

I fell in love with a Cashmere Pine Christmas tree at KMart yesterday. I really want to buy a big one for next year but I'm pretty broke after all the shopping lately and I'm hoping it will be reduced even further after Boxing Day.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS XX

Food and Friends

I've stumbled upon the best combination of foods for a big bowl of breakfast (I'm talking BIG), you've gotta try it it's YUM: Bowen mango, cherries, fresh dates, Brazil nuts, - chop it all up and mix it with organic yogurt and a sprinkling of Carmans toasted nut muesli. Mmm-mm!! I was eating something similar all through mango season when I was pregnant with Anakin - no wonder he was monstrous! Sounds like I'm a bit of a health freak but there was a time last week when it occured to me that I'd eaten cake for breakfast about 3 times in a row. I like the best of both worlds. I just love tasty food.

Speaking of food, I have been assigned the "Fruit Platter" for our Christmas brunch at Nick's. Where we'll be enjoying croisants and ham and eggs and sweets as well. I also have been allocated the Christmas trifle for dessert after an early roast turkey dinner at Mum's along with my famous potato salad, which I make with lots of tasty bacon and onion, parsley, walnuts, boiled eggs and lashings of whole egg mayo'. I've also got everything I need to make rocky-road, and already have a container of dark chocolate cherry and macadamia truffles in the fridge. Man I love a good feast but seriously the New Year needs to herald a commitment to some serious exercise!

I came home today to a loaded grumicharma tree and picked a huge container full. We've also got loads of carambolas on, which Bubby hooks into all the time exclaiming "yum! YUM-MY!" with juice dripping all over him. Looks like a huge crop of black sapotes coming on too. It so good to be able to wander down the yard and eat stuff straight off the trees. Anakin just LOVES it! If he's a bit skeptical about trying something, say cherries, I just have to emphasise to him "It's a TREE cherry Bubby! It came off the tree! Eat it up." And he does. I'm totally thankful to my mum - she's the one who's planted trees her entire life. She spends her entire weekends (when she's not linedancing!) in her orchard and when she's run out of work there she comes down to do some in mine. She is legendary. No joke.

The cubby is finished too! Mum made the curtains for it and hung them up while we were away over the weekend. Another surprise when we arrived home! It looks really cute and I can't wait to post pix. (Iz took the camera to Sydney.)

I had a girlfriend ring up out of the blue today, she's been up the Cape for the last 6 months and I'm really excited in the hope that I might see her here tomorrow. I love her for being such a spirited party girl and she loves my brutal honesty. She's thrown the best cocktail and fancy-dress parties I've ever been to, in the most out-of-the-way depths of the bush! And I've provided a haven for her to stay when she's overstepped the boundaries of her marriage just that little too far (or usually in her case - a lot too far!) We grew up in a similarly unconventional family environment and can understand each other well. She's a doll and I haven't seen her since...

Getting it good.

In the wee hours of yesterday morning I left Izzy in the capable hands of a perpetually smiling Qantas flight attendant and gave him a final wave from out the front of Rusty's Market as his plane to Sydney flew overhead. We're going to miss him big-time, but in saying that, minus the oldest kid, our sex life has suddenly gone into overdrive. I told Greg weeks ago that while he was on Christmas holidays, Izzy was away and Anakin asleep, he'd get plenty of daytime sex (my favourite kind) and sometimes it's a drag keeping promises but not this time! (Well look, nobody asked ya to read!) Imagine how good he's gunna get it when all the kids grow up and leave home. Hey, there's a bright side to everything.

Cock-a-doodle-DON'T!

I asked my brother for some help with a good Monday survey question and he wanted me to ask if you looked at your poo in the toilet bowl before you flush it. I said "EWW!! NICHOLAS!! They're all ladies!! They're not going to want to answer a question like that!!! They'll think I'm depraved" But oddly he's kinda made me curious...JOKING!! Oh and that reminds me, he also wanted to know if you get turned on by inanimate objects. That one has got me thinking..

Anyway, my question for you today is: (And thank-you for last week, I think I'm going to have to replace all my dud knives with some sharp ones!) Do you collect anything specifically? My sister is a big collector, she has a beautiful collection of teddy bears and teapots. I'm not too into it, all I have is a collection of Izzy's baby teeth! Oh and I've collected a pile of commemorative 50cent pieces. What about you?

Greg bought me the most beautiful set of bikini's yesterday! The top is a moulded triangle 50's style halter and the bottoms are a pair of roll top boy legs with side ruching. They are so modest but really flattering. I love em!! They're a lot like these but the bottoms aren't so skimpy and the fabric on mine has a black background with an abstract palm frond print in different shades of green.
As Izzy would say "Cool Clarky!"

About my chicken in the laundry; me and Greg woke up to this garbled sounding "Cock-a-doodle-doo!!" a couple of mornings ago and half asleep we responded simultaneously "Oh no. It's a rooster!" Shit. We were hoping to get some eggs any day now.

Pix and Pink Bits

Jingle Bell Joe:



This is Anakin with his hoard of farm animals that came out of his stocking yesterday. He was doing an Ozzy Osbourne for a while there with a chicken hanging out of his mouth.

With his baby-doll who he has named "Bocky" (He cuddled it tenderly for awhile and then started repeatedly rapping it over the head!)

Yep, just like my profile pick, but you can see the colours through it. (My God, is my nose really that pointy?!)

I went to a local girl's 40th "Pink Party" last night. A list of pink things made a border around the invite: Pink frocks, pink cocktails, pink boas, pink lipstick... It went on to list "pink bits" and "pink pills" and specifically instructed to leave your inhibitions and children at home. Bit saucy! I'm no prude with my man in the parameters of my relationship but I'm not into, whatdoyacallit? umm, swinging! But I took my chances and went for a laugh. I had to drive home so behaved myself and only had a couple drinks. It was good to mix with some old local yokels. Working at the school I tend to know everyone as such-n-such's Mum or Dad. Had a bonding session with my ex-boyfriends girlfriend. She's a real hippy-fairy waif of a girl, much more suited to his New Age Aquarian Gospel, John Butler loving self. She was telling me how desperately they wanted a little acreage to grow vege's etc and it really reinforced how fortunate I am that my dream has been manifested (her word) into reality!

Anyway there was some awesome costumes - some chick even came dressed as a giant pink lamington! And I was stoked coz I had an excuse to wear these deadly shoes I bought from the op-shop once.

How cool are they? Except they're so tiny I'm not even completely sure they are even meant to be worn as shoes. I think they're actually ornaments that a tourist brought home from some oriental country. More likely a Provence of China where they still like to practice foot-binding! As tight as they were (I felt like that chick from the IT Crowd) I still had to wear socks with them (making it even more of a task jamming my feet into them). HAVING to wear socks with second hand shoes could be listed as one of my rules in life!

Jingle Bell Joe the Jolly Elf

That was Izzy's pen name when he replied to one of the Grade 1's Santa letters on Wednesday. How cute. I'm always going to think of him as Jingle Bell Joe now and laugh.

Another late night, but I'm all ready for the kids early present opening session in the morning. Oh, except that Izzy's new tramp is still in the box! Greg has crashed-out super early. Apparently his big day spent at home alone with Anakin has completely drained him. (I hope he has a new found appreciation of what I accomplish every day!) I've tried to wake him several times but he's not budging. We'll have to do it early in the morning. I can't wait! I've bought Anakin this most beautiful baby-boy doll and I know he's going to love it so much!

Well I like what she did to my hair! (Sorry Kim, no pics yet my camera is on the blink) I just look more like my profile picture again really. Except it's even shorter still. She used a razor for the entire cut, in a kinda freestyle way and it's been coloured for the first time in for ages! A dark chocolaty colour and some caramel too. Except she put some fine, really light foils through it here and there and I dunno about the contrast! I would prefer it without I think! Anyway I've got to give the girl credit, I was completely indecisive when I arrived and she managed to talk it out with me and negotiate all my mixed messages, bear with me when I messed it all up playing around with it midcut, take my criticisms and follow my instructions while probably going against her own creative urges and make me a fairly well satisfied customer! Legendary!

The kids and I dressed in our Christmas clobber (Mum's word) and went down to the Village Green Christmas Party last night. Santa's last word before he headed off in his 4WD was to Anakin! He said "Bye-bye little fella" and rubbed his arm. How cool. The kids looked sweet and had tourists taking happysnaps of them (a bit strange) while we were eating our fishermans' basket dinner. On the way home we did a bit of a drive around to look at lights while playing Christmas carols on the car stereo. It was fun. I'm determined to get in as much Christmassy stuff with Izzy as I can before he heads of down South!

Hot digs

Anakin met Santa for the first time yesterday. He was walking up the mainstreet of one of the local towns ringing his bell (and NOT singing out "Ho ho ho!"). Anakin's eyes were big round saucers as he shook Santa's white gloved hand. I was brought to distraction feeling sorry for the guy in that ridiculously hot looking suit in the ridiculously stinking hot weather. Anyway under all the white beard he looked like a nice Santa and Anakin enjoyed their little interlude.

I remember when Izzy was Anakins age and we would be hanging out in the shops during the festive seasons I would always have to be on the lookout for Santa (and the Easter Bunny) and get outta there pronto if we saw them coming. The poor boy he would practically have a nervous breakdown in my arms if he caught sight of them, his body would start shaking all over in fear. Totally spun him out. A life sized talking bunny and a massive bearded man dressed completely out of season just didn't add up for him at all! Took him a few years to get over that phobia.

He was a bit of a stress case at times though. I think he was three when he started having these tantrums about aging. He would kick and scream and sob "I don't wanna be old!! I don't wanna be a Grandpa!!! I don't wanna get wrinkles and die!!! AHRRR!!!"

I don't think Anakin's going to turn out to be so complex as Izzy. Izzy is all cerebral. Anakin's totally physical.

Izz had his school breakup concert last night and this little girl energetically bouncing out the nutbush with her cute little crop of curls bouncing up and down along with her made me want Greg's daughter bad. That feeling comes and goes a lot. The problem is I want one that's already half grown up. Going on grade 4 or so. Reckon Santa will bring me one for Christmas?

"Make Me Current"

I've booked myself a hairdresser's appointment on Friday and I'm finally going to get to use that line. I tell you what though, I hope they know what they're doing - I've got the finest most flyaway, difficult-to-manage hair and I don't know what it's doing these days - since having Anakin half of it has fallen out and I've lost all my curl! It's a sad, sad state of affairs. Me and my neighbour have booked in together and we'll be doing a little bit coffeshoppin' beforehand. Yay! Greg's first day of holidays and I'm going to be leaving him to it!

Man I'm so glad survivor is back on telle coz there hasn't been anything decent on for ages. Bubby had to stay awake through the two hour special last night as I couldn't drag myself away to put him to bed! That yummy gravedigger had me squirming around in my seat, he's got to win for sure! Mmm-mm.

I'm hoping Greg's going to buy me a big roll of black plastic at work in the next couple of days so the kids can have a slip-n-slide in the yard all holidays.

The boys are opening their prezzies early this year (Saturday) because Big Brussie will be down in Sydney on the 25th. His Dad better look after him real good!! I can imagine the plane being full of boys and girls making the trip to see their absent fathers for the school holidays.

Anakin is starting swimming lessons with my neighbour this arve. When I ask him if he wants to go for a visit next door he goes "Swim? Swim?" She's only charging me $5 a lesson. Bargain!

Izzy is having a total bludge week at school. Today he's doing weaving all day. Tomorrow he'll probably be having dress rehearsals for the school concert and some Christmas craft. Thursday they're watching movies and Friday is clean-up day.

Twice this week I've found myself with my head buried deep into the wheelie bin. The first time I explained to Izzy that, even though I'd love to, I can't keep all his school books year after year, that we just don't have room for anything (same old story) and that after having a real good look through them and tearing out all the blank pages for recycling, I'd just have to bite the bullet and chuck them in the bin. He couldn't have cared less. Well they spent one night in there 'till the guilt set in and I pulled them all back out. I'll damn well find room...somewhere! Second time I thought I must have thrown out Izzy's new keycard and pin as I realised they should have been in the mail a few days ago and my usual form is just to chuck bank stuff out (reminder to self - inform the bank I access my statements on line.) After dragging through all the wheelie-bin contents AGAIN I found it in the letter box. Doh!

Monday Question II

Next question: Do you believe what they say - that "you are more likely to cut yourself with a blunt knife", or like me, do you think if you were actually game enough to use a sharp knife you'd have cut all the tips of your fingers off long ago?

How was your weekend? Mine was busy with extra kids (at one stage I had five 11 year old boys in my tiny lounge room!) and my brother was mooching around our place again apparently "helping Greg with the shed" which in reality translates to drinking with Greg, eating everything in the fridge, calling on us for taxi services at 4 in the morning and sleeping off his hangover in our aircon'ed bedroom.

Mum took us out to dinner last night. Izzy shouldn't have come - he's too use to all you can eat buffets where you pay at the door, make your way directly to the food and stuff yourself sick. For him waiting for his dinner for 40 minutes was downright criminal. And then I ordered him an entree size thinking it would be enough (my bad!), he took about three seconds to eat it so I scrounged him up some pizza and he was still completely unsatisfied. On top of that the bleak artwork hanging on the walls was affecting him in a bad way (he can't handle things provoking his emotions negatively - he thinks those "Angel Flight" adds should be outlawed coz they make you feel depressed. I told you he hates Emo. Imagine how he'd react if I hung an Albert Tucker like this one in his bedroom)


When he got home he was saying to me "Mum, if that place burns down it was a bearded man named Bob Jenkins" I couldn't stop laughing at him all night - he was suffering big time.

Anakin was in hysterics of laughter the other night too. He was playing with a gecko (his latest favourite thing) when it threw it's tail (that's what they do as a defense mechanism when they're scared). So he's picked up this wriggling gecko tail and was holding it out for us to see. Mine and Izzy's reaction was one of total grossed out horror which he thought was pretty cool, so he spent the next half an hour or so chasing us around with this fleshy squirmy apendage while we ran away screaming "Eww!!"

Another flashback photo

I'm the skinny one on the left with the hair "sconned back". My sister Nick is holding the Bubba, who is my cousin Bianca and the other two girls Marce and Gub are sisters and my cousins also. Their Dad had driven us to Gladstone in his Toyota Coaster to visit all the relies, you can see it in the background. I don't know what Mum was thinking because he's not the sort of bloke I'd entrust my small children with that's for sure! Talk about a character. Our kids give him folklore status like Ned Kelly - on the few occasions they've ventured over to see Uncle Michael (he has a farm next door to some of our property) they always come back with these stories of him cooking up a big pig tongue stew or something as equally as squirmish - could be all true but I tend to avoid the guy since he developed the habit of calling my boyfriends things like "paw-paw head" and "hairy c*nt".

The other day Anakin held the hose right in my face and that feeling of getting water fair up my nose brought back all these memories of those girls. We use to have a great swimming hole down the back of Uncle Michael's. He set us up a rope swing on an overhanging tree and one of us would have to tread water while we flicked it up to the other standing in among all the tree roots on the bank of the creek. We'd wrap the swing up round the tree climbing up to our jumping spot. We'd then launch ourselves out and try various flips and somersaults, usually ending in a big stinging belly flop and a nose full of water. They'd call me "Nelly" because that was my way of saying "nearly" and I'd say it every time as I tried to encourage the others toward a perfectly executed trick.

I've also got this really heartwrenching memory of Bianca too (the littlest one). She was about that age (in the photo) and toddling along infront of me, I saw that she was coming up to a muddy patch in the yard and lifted her up a little from under the arms to swing her over it. Well I lost my footing and stumbled and we kind of fell over together in a heap. It wouldn't have been so bad but she hit her mouth on the corner of a concrete slab and her lip was bloody and split. I was so distraught I spent the entire day sobbing my eyes out on the bottom bunk bed going "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." Looking back it was hardly that drastic but as a little kid I felt SO guilty and it was so hard to face her mum after I damaged her perfect little girl. Goes to show how supersensitive kids emotions can be.

Baubles and Bullacouses

Yep, I eat roast pumpkin skin and all! Greg thinks it's a bit primitive and leaves his behind on the plate but I think I was starving-hungry a lot more frequently than him as a child! I told you I'm from "licking plates clean"! One of the more frequent things out of my mouth was "MUM! I'm FAMISHED!!" The local bush-kids thought we were a bit queer the way we used some French/Flemish words in our everyday speech. Like when everyone else tied their hair back with a "bobble" we used a "bullacous". And I love the word "bauble" Jen 'coz it reminds me of the word "BULLACOUS" and being a hungry little brat in the sticks. Ha ha!

Ruth, I make the yummiest pumpkin soup, I'll have to make some for you and NG when you come visit! Oh and I noticed that AUSTRALIA wasn't on your list of places that you must get to but every other bloody continent was! (See "Thirty Voices" link) I'm assuming that's because you've already been!!

Tiffany your shortbreads and tea were a saving grace.

Thanks for responding girls! It turns out "all my other readers" turned out to be NONE! Ha ha! Shame..

I forgot to mention the awesome caftan I 'thrifted". (Learnt that word from The Ongoing Project (link below too!) It's deep purple and gold and I LOVE IT. I'm even wearing a matching bindi so I'm looking like a hippified Lovechild today!

But I better scrub up later, I'm going in to sign my contract at the Principal's office this arve. Woohoo!

Monday, Monday..

I've decided to introduce a Monday survey question. First question: Do you eat roast pumpkin skin and all? Please humour me by leaving your response and waiting with baited breath for next Monday's equally as intriguing question. (Yes, you too Shel. And all those other readers that never leave me a comment!)

Well this is my Christmas tree erection experience (it's pretty miserable compared to everyone elses). Firstly I picked it up off the spare room floor where Anakin has been dragging it around for the last couple of months, chewing off all the fake cherry clusters (or whatever that stuff is suppose to be) and leaving red dye all over his face. It's just a little bonsai sized tree because as I've mentioned before we don't have much storage space so we've been using this tabletop sized one for about 3 years now. Then I took it into Izzy's room where he was playing Need For Speed Dub Edition Remix and tried to illicit some Christmas cheer out of him while I straightened out all the branches. That was unsuccessful as he just glanced at it occasionally, making remarks like "Mum why are you bothering with that little scrap of a tree". Then I sat it up on the table and hung all the little decorations I bought for it (I use the things you thread around the bottom of wine glasses because they make perfect sized ornaments for it), realising that I need about twelve more packets, plus bows and baubles to make it look anywhere near decorative enough since none of last years decorations made it though Anakins oral inquiries! Then over dinner his dad sat him up on the table(!) where he saw a great opening to pull it over and start his sabotage anew!

We had a nightmare trip to Cairns, it was stinking hot and my temper was way hotter! Greg pissed me off at every given moment. Anakin missed out on so much sleep, which always makes me stress out at the best of times. And Izzy did his bit to give me the shits as well (not half as often as Greg though!) I admit I could have handled matters so much more gracefully but I get sick of handling matters - it seems I'm left to handle everything!! That's the friggin' problem!!!! Enough of that though.

I actually managed some great progress on the Xmas shopping front. I bought my other nephew these two awesome books which he is going to LOVE!!


I've already bought a great handbag for my niece filled with heaps of things like bracelets, make up stuff, hairbrushes etc so that's all the niece and nephews taken care off now.

I bought some more stuff for Izzy's stocking (a new cap, a Chasers War on Everything DVD and Stewie Griffin's guide to World Domination)and an animal print doona cover for my brother that looks so stinking hot in this weather but which he wants to make his beautiful cabin in the bush a sexy little love nest for the ladies.

Anakin has been listening to music with Izzy's headphones heaps lately and he's got this most adorable way of miming the lyrics - it looks FOR REAL!! He is so cute.

What's up

YES!! The backhoe came last Saturday!! We now have a perfectly good driveway so my brother-in-law won't have to visit the muffler joint every time he drives his Jag up here. We also had a couple of Chippies take away the half pipe that we bought Izzy second hand a few years back, they're going to restore it and use it, I was so glad to see the back of that delapitated monstrousity. I almost made it a bonfire a few times. The yard is free of huge logs and the cubby is now in the right spot! I'm almost finished repainting it. Can't wait to get cracking on the curtains (or more likely rope Mum into it) Nana gave me a few bucks for Bub so I bought him a matching sling chair from the Warehouse, he drags it around all over the place, he loves it.

This weekend we're planning a trip to Cairns with the trailer and a big spend-up at Bunnings. We need supplies for a chook shed (we bought two more little chickens at the markets on Sunday) and the sandpit. Plus Greg is picking up the cable-cross-over machine he ordered and we're paying off Izzy's laybuyed tramp and bringing it home! We're going to have a load and a half!!

I also have to go out to the airport and book Izzy's plane tickets for Sydney. His Dad is getting him for Christmas and New Years. I'm happy for him, but sad for me!! I dunno how I'm going to cope with him so far away...



I bought these speakers for one of my newphew's Christmas present yesterday. He's getting an mp3 player from his parents - I think he'll love 'em!

Queenslanders Annihilation of the Similie

We're about to crown another Australian Idol and I couldn't give a shit - they both look like a couple of wankers to me. (I'm exercising control in my everyday language use - Izzy hasn't gotten one piece of chocolate yet, except it seems to be all backing up and spilling out onto blog.) Not that I've watched it but that Matt has got the worst haircut in the history of mankind and Nat looks like a total bore.

I was thinking about how we Queenslanders are just so lazy we can't even put the thought into making up similies to explain ourselves. (Or maybe it's just me.) Instead of saying something like "It was as rough as guts" or "Man, I'm as hungry as a horse!" We leave off the last bit and go "That was as hard AS!" We actually emphasise the last "AS" so much that we don't even bother with the first one half the time and it just becomes, "I was crook AS", "He was creepy AS", She's bitchy AS!" It doesn't even make sense.

Block House

I've been spending the last few days on a house design for the block. It was really fun and now that I'm finished I feel like an accomplished draftsman. It's a split level house as the block slopes downward from the road. So it has a single story appearance from the street and full double story construction to the rear. The upper floor comprises of the master bedroom and ensuite, kitchen and sunken lounge, a study and sunroom (for taking tea) and the laundry and downstairs features the boys' bedrooms a bathroom and rumpus. (Now I sound like a real-estate agent.)

I'm open to suggestions :)

Pongwiffy

Anakin brought me my rock crystal deodorising stick today. I was a bit hot and stinky too, I think he was trying to give me a hint. The poor kid does have to snuggle up under my armpit after all. I think one of the reasons your boobs are positioned in such close proximity to your armpit is so your ripe body odour helps knock the baby out for a good sleep.

Flashback Friday II

Here's some pictures of the boys in similar poses when they were similar ages. I don't know how they turned out so alike when their dads couldn't be more different. Anakins recent pics are first followed by flashbacks of Izzy ten years ago:

That thing that happens

I'm having that thing happen today - ya know when you start spinning-out about particular words and you repeat them to yourself and wonder about their absurdity and if they're really proper English words or could you have just made them up in your head, just now.. This is me muttering to myself this morning: "Second..second..second?...first...second...third...yep, it's definitely a word... Izzy... I-zzy...Izzy!..Did I really name him that?? Is that the most strangest sounding name I've ever heard?... Bottle! Bottle! What kind of a word is that!!" (And so on.) Now I'm starting to wonder if that dream that I was institutionalised in a mental hospital was really all that far-fetched!

I tried going to sleep on Greg's chest last night but his heart rate is that abnormally slow (I reckon about 50 bpm) that I was worried he'd died between each beat. How can you relax like that?!

I'm so disgusted at my foul mouth lately that I have made Izzy a deal - each time he catches me swearing (besides "bloody" and "shit") he's allowed to eat two pieces of chocolate. I hate him eating too much junk food so I reckon this is going to work. Greg's got no faith he reckons I should've started with just a smartie and see how I go from there.

I've taken to buying the most nutritious seed filled bread I can find. If Izzy wants to eat nutella sandwiches for lunch (and who could blame him) he's got to plough through the multi-grain! Ha ha ha!

You might remember Iz had the spewies on the night of his birthday back in September, well I finally made him another birthday cake and a big taco dinner that he could actually enjoy in celebration of his 11th year.

I've been waiting and waiting on the backhoe-man to come and do some jobs for me - something always seems to come up or it's too wet, it's driving me nuts!! I really, really, really want to get rid of this pile of logs over in the yard and get the cubby house shifted underneath the lychee tree in the shade near the house (not to mention the driveway fixed, the drains redug and the millmud pile flattened). I'm going to renovate it for Bubby for Christmas - it needs some panelbeating after the cyclone, a new coat of paint (Green Jube and Pony Trail), some new curtains and new furniture and then Greg's going to put in a sandpit below it. I can't wait to get it all organised!

Izzy got sick of waiting for Greg to build a chook run and decided to have a go at it himself. So far he's got three star pickets in the ground and one star shaped gash in the middle of his forehead. Don't ask me how.

Growing Up

I am Garlic Pepper Rounds from Always Fresh.. These things must be loaded with MSG or something they are so tasty and crunchy and moreish!! YUM I just scoffed almost a whole packet. You've gotta try 'em.

Well I've been continuing my mindfulness of Izzy and sensing the rewards already. He can come off as a bit of a take-it-for-granted kinda kid but yesterday morning he said "Thanks for packing my lunchbox Mum."!!! I think I've done it about 32 thousand times and that might be the first time he's acknowledged it and thanked me! I was pretty gobsmacked internally and nearly teared up when I casually replied "That's okay Darlin'". And then last night he was on my bed flipping through a magazine with me when he volunteered to point out a couple of the ladies that he thought were attractive. Izzy's been known to almost come to tears of embarrassment at the slightest mention of any girl-talk so him opening up to me about that was pretty amazing to me also. (They were Eva Longoria [he reckons "Yep, can't get any better lookin' than her] and Jessica Alba by the way - he likes them dark haired, dark eyed and tanned. Just like his dad who always had the hots for Alyssa Milano. Hee-hee.) Anyway so that's going all good. For Greg too...

I found us a beautiful house in Kuranda but when I called the real-estate agent about it yesterday she expected the owner to be signing a contract by the end of the day. Majorly pricey - we would have to sell everything and go into debt as well but I tell you we'd have been living in the lap of luxury! Four bedrooms, two kitchens, Italian tiles, bamboo flooring, quila decks, huge heated spa out on this observation platform, claw foot bathtubs, french doors..oh my God it's beautiful. Greg's always talking about moving back to Cairns, I only want to live in the bush - Kuranda may be the perfect solution. I should really just be thinking about designing the perfect house for the block - my sister is good at it but I just can't wrap my head around the whole process of building from scratch. All the options just do my head in.

We have to keep such a close eye on Bubby these days. He's fast! He can practically run now and he's confident enough to make his way over next door if you give him half the chance and his climbing abilities have always been so good. These days he goes straight up the extension ladder in the shed. And last night with a tiny extra boost from his dad he climbed up the outside of Izzy's bunk beds all the way to the top. So different to Izzy who never ventured away from my side and who was like "Super-Safety".

"It feels so free!"

These were Izzy's words after he dived in, lost his dacks and found himself skinny-dipping around in the neighbours pool. (They went away over the weekend and left us with their pool gate key and an open invitation - so nice!) "It feels so free! I don't know why people don't swim around like this all the time!" I don't know why either but I reckon he'll be on the lookout for opportunities to steal a few free moments for a private skinny-dip from now on. His little white nudey-bum streaking around under water.

Bubby is still fighting off the snotties but is a lot better than he was. I started him on antibiotics because he was being troubled with earache and I didn't want to mess around with the possibility of a middle ear infection but somehow the medi' went missing and he only ended up taking it a few times. So he's had to soldier on through which is probably a lot better for his immunity in the long run.

His Dad looked after him a lot on the weekend. I went out with Nick for ages on Saturday to visit Nana and Grandad and get our grocery shopping and a little bit of Xmas shopping. And then on Sunday arve me and Mum and Nick went for a big bike-ride all over the place - checking out all the beautiful houses around the place and the new estates going up. Nick thought she was going to throw-up like the Biggest Losers Do after going up a few steep inclines and was cracking up at me and Mum "No more hills!! No more hills!!!", then half way home I noticed her back tyre was neally completely flat - no wonder she couldn't keep up. I kept having to circle back around behind them to keep them at a steady pace. I wanted to burn off some of the scrumptious homemade pizza's I've been making for dinners lately.

I had an emotional breakdown the other night. Sometimes I get so upset at myself when I reflect on some of the ways I have interacted with Izzy. And some of things I say to him and the way I react to him at times (And Greg). And then I start getting guilty that his Dad's not around for him and everything else just seems to feel like it's all my fault. It really gets me down and I get so miserable. And then come night time Greg expects me to feel turned-on the moment he is, when I've got all this stuff on my mind that I need to process and then he gets upset at me for bringing things up at bad times...bloody hell.

I just need to be more mindful of and involved with my family. I get guilty for taking every opportunity I can get to escape and ignore them all when they are the most important thing in the world, and during the week I have time of my own while Bub's asleep and there's nobody else around when I can do my own thing (like right now).

So after my big guilt trip yesterday we went for a bike ride, built a cubby in the loungeroom, played softball. Greg took the boys for a swim. We offered him a game of monopoly (but he declined)... I spoke rationally all day and didn't sit at the computer once. I did read the paper though...but I read it in his room while he watched a movie...and I made conversation over things I'd thought he'd find interesting...now I just have to keep it up day after day.. Then Greg might get some more often as I'll be more relaxed and less of a guilt-ridden freak!

Flashback Friday

I love this picture of me and Nick (I'm the smaller one). I think we were probably about 9 and 12? I look heaps like Izzy here. Someones done my hair back real tight. I use to hate my hair being done ("sconin' my hair back"), I'd scream out "Ya sconing me Mum! Stop sconin' me, it hurts!" I think that's Mum's Suzuki in the background, if it is that's the bike I ended up getting my license on.

Some Renovations would do the Trick

My house is too small. Just like I can't organise my boobs to fit into the little size 8 and 10 bikini tops I used to wear, without them spilling out on all sides, neither can I organise all of our belongings to fit into this little place. I need bigger cupboards and cups!

I've washed and aired all our doonas and warmer throws to put away for next year. They're all folded up and there's just nowhere to put them. It's so unbearable. If I sucked all the air out of everything we own in those vacuum sealed bags maybe I could find somewhere to stash it all.

Mum has been in my ear every other day about selling up and buying a bigger house but I'd have to move so far away to get value for money if you ask me. They're asking the most ridiculous prices everywhere around here (which would work in my favour if I were to sell). I suppose we could sell this place to finance building a house on the block... But I really intended on keep them both so I can have something to leave each of the boys one day and the way me and Greg have been getting along we'll probably need separate dwellings anytime soon.

I had a phone call from another teacher asking me to share her class next year. It's good to know I'm a sort after commodity. So it's only a matter of time before we can begin making extra repayments on the loans and make a bit of headway in the financial area. Maybe then I can get some renno's.

Greg took a sicky and looked after Bubby and I went to work with the Grade Three's yesterday - it was quite the role reversal. Except I didn't get dinner made for me...

He joined Facebook last night so there was a bit more role reversal going on with me sitting on the couch alone making the banter "are you finished with your cyber buddies over there? Do you think you've ignored me for long enough yet?"

22 things you didn't know about me..

I’m inconsistent – eg: I drink green tea out of fine bone china while swearing repeatedly.

I don’t get the whole thing with adults doing kids stuff eg: reading Harry Potter, eating muesli bars or variety packs of cereal and watching Disney movies.

I go bezerk when there are flies in my kitchen.

I never watch horror movies.

I'm a hair twirler.

I’ve given birth naturally twice and breastfed for over 3 and a half years all up, and counting.

I can rely on my physical health.

Two of my stepdads (for want of a better word) committed suicide.

Big dogs freak me out.

I love foot massages.

I am uneffected by political scaremongering.

I cringe over the artificial backslapping of strangers on the internet.

I’ve never faked an orgasm.

I promised myself a motorbike as a reward for finishing Uni – I still owe myself a motorbike.

I could do endless chin-ups when I was a kid and I wanted to be Monkey Magic.

I’m a bit of a Nigel.

I lived with my boyfriend under a marquee on the bank of a creek with no tap water, power or transport for 3 months when I was 19. It was fun.

I hate having dirty hair.

If I had heaps of money I’d wear the most beautiful clothes every minute of the day.

Having kids gave me purpose and direction and I appreciate people who don’t necessarily have to have kids before they feel that way.

One of my favourite breakfasts is pineapple on toast.

I overcame a period of obsessive compulsion when I was young and my parents wouldn’t even know it.

And now ya do...

He's Dynamite

Izzy's class came home from camp yesterday so I guess while the kids are all writing up recollections of their adventures Izzy will be detailing how he spent his time at home. It's going to cast a pretty dubious light on my own parental apptitude I'm sure because, besides going to the local swimming pool with his little Bruss yesterday the best fun he had was pulling apart the insides of party poppers and discovering new and interesting ways to make them explode - the louder the better. And I'm sure he'll detail the way he rearranged his chest of drawers so he could label one of them "Explosives" and he'll probably fail to mention the contents are only harmless things like sparklers, caps and fake exploding compressed powder golf balls. If he puts his can of Brut in there I'm going to have to wring his neck.

Just yarnin'

How's this for a baby's breakfast? First he had some of his dad's cornflakes (not so good) but then he followed that up with a little plate full of assortments - walnuts, cashews, dried blueberries, dried pineapple and mini-wheats. Then he had a couple of chunks of organic paw-paw followed by a little hand full of organic mulberries, a drink of green coconut milk, some green tea, a cruskit and some liquorice as a treat. Phew - that boy takes some feeding! I was a bit less organised than I usually am on our latest trip to Cairns and he ended up dieting on a staple of sticky rice and banana's most of the time and take-aways - fried rice and omelet, fish and chips, pizza..

Speaking of take-aways I caved in big time and ate Macca's bacon and egg mcmuffin breakfasts twice over the weekend - hash browns and the lot!! So much for my boycott. Oh well - they're pretty bloody yummy after all - but only with added barbeque sauce. Sorry Jax Cavery and other local businesses, I'll try harder.

Greg played in the SuperLeague comp' in Cairns on the weekend. It's been so good to see his return to basketball after a LONG time out of action with back problems. He's been mentioned in the local paper every week here too as "Best Player". Anakin's going to follow in his footsteps for sure - he thinks about basketball all the time. I can tell. We've got a poster of Michael Jordan flying threw the air for a dunk and I taught him how to do this slamming motion and make this noise like "BUSS!" (a "u" sound like "bull" not "bus") and I can see his mind ticking over into basketcall mode and then he does it: "BUSS!" The kids life is saturated with basketball, he could hardly help it.

I bought Anakin a 50cm cuddly baby doll for XMas yesterday. I can't wait for him to have it. He loves all the babies we meet in the Mothers Rooms and out and about. He says it so cute too "Baby" and "Bubby". He's so gentle with them too.

But not so gentle with his Big Bruss! God he gives Izzy such a hard time. He totally wrestles him down and goes for all the real dirty moves - biting the skin on his back, trying to rip his nipples off, yanking his hair, poking him in the "blowhole" (throat) and whacking things into his "jublem" (Achilles tendon). He plays so dirty I've got to rouse on him.

I have to go into the primary school today to fill out paper work for my contract next year. Wednesdays will be my day with the Grade Three's. It'll be fun.

I'm doing face painting for the Under 8's carnival on Friday - I'm looking forward to that too. Face painting's been a hobby for ages. I love it.

Izzy is home for the next couple of days - all his class is at camp. Each year he never wants to go. I'm not about to force him. We like his company at home too much anyway.

Put Your Hands Up

You can tell your hungover when you crawl out of bed complaining loudly "Oh God! I'm SUFFERING!", undress and curl up in a ball on the bottom of the bathtub. That's where you would have found me this morning. I finally got to go clubbing last night with my girlfriend Dee and I'm still proudly bearing my entry stamps, 24 hours later. I told Mum I was going to drink beers and get rowdy this weekend, secretly doubting that I had the ability to have a good time getting drunk and disorderly - thinking I'd more likely pike-out early to go cuddle up to sleep with my boys. Well I had it in me after all - If, loudly toasting every person that walked by; arguing with strangers drunker and more idiotic than me; thinking it's possible to make deep personal and cultural connections with backpackers in less than 5 minutes; venturing into the smoking section to scab cigerettes for my friends; allowing myself to get grossly overpriced drinks slapped out of my hands and hogging the podium all night thinking I need to audition for "So You Think You can Dance" qualifies as being rowdy I reckon I succeeded, but I think I drank everything but beer....but seriously we did totally carve it up on the dance floor.

Men at Work

I’m thinking about Greg at work today as he has a theory exam for pressure welding and he didn’t get time to study yesterday arve because I was annoyed at the kids getting prickles in their pants and asked him to mow the lawn instead. My bad if he fails!

The nicknames I have heard over the years from Greg’s workplace never fail to crack me up. I’ll share a few of the classics:

They call one guy “Six Shits”. I suppose it’s because he spends too much time on the dunny and if that’s the case I reckon Greg could qualify for that nickname too.

There are these two mates Greg labeled “Grotty Valenotti and Sloppy Slobotski” (their real surnames) – sounds like a couple of grouches from Sesame Street. There’s some seedy stories behind those names but I won’t go into them.

One guy who is small and irritating they call “Sandfly”.

Another is “Booka” coz he’s a "booka" knowledge.

Then there’s one fella they call “Tully Times” because he’s a gossip and knows everything that’s going on around the place.

Scott turns into "Scottissues" or "Scottproblems" or "Scott-no-friends".

When tradies get together it sounds like they go to some elaborate lengths to pull of a practical joke too. Anything for a laugh.

I was pumping Anakin’s leggies backwards and forwards this morning when he was lying on the bed and he started going “ar”, “ow”, “eh”, “ee” – really sounded like he was about to start counting. He is really starting to say heaps! He’s a smart little cookie. And you can tell him to do just about anything and he knows exactly what you’re saying. If I say “That’s a beautiful flower Love. Go give Brussy a smell”, he’ll take over to his brother and hold it under his nose. Or “Anakin that’s Georgia’s, go give it back to her”, off he goes.

We’ve got the power back on YAY! YIPEE!! No more cold showers. No more peeing in the dark. No more trying to cook dinner on one little ring burner or worrying that the gas bottle is leaking and going to blow us all up. No more carting my washing up to Mum’s. No more refueling the generator. It was kind of fun while it lasted (only coz Greg kept the computer going for me!) but I’m glad it’s over.

Where I'm From

I am from Sunshine Milk Powder from Nestle and alligator clips on battery terminals.

I am from the tiny block houses strung together by well trodden tracks, handmade, secluded, names scratched into wet concrete and mortar curved with little teaspoons.

I am from the mulberry trees, the burnt she-oak forests shedding rough nuts good for ammunition.

I am from camping under blue tarps near waterfalls and trips to the dump, cast iron bathtubs with fires underneath, scorching bums. I am from table tennis champions. From Jeanne and Beatrice and Scott

I am from skinny brown legs crossed over each other, licking plates clean and making things with your hands.

From If you never did nothing you must have done something and You’re a Bad Egg.

I am from a void of spiritualism. Exclusion from Rainbow Club and never knowing the words to psalm songs sung around the school piano.

I am from the end of a long dirt road. From handsome settlers, smooth musicians and motorcycle riders. Hot chips and mayonnaise and blocks of chocolate.

I am from the flopped cakes my Great Grandma threw out of the window in her fury, the toe Dad mangled in the mower, the sixty-three thousand chords Uncle Maurrie could play on a ukulele to accompany his sister’s song.

I am from the bookshelf, the bottom draw and little piles on the shelf above the phone.

Serendipity

It was 7 years ago at a Halloween “Heaven and Hell” party that I met Greg. Izzy was only a preschooler and I was a single Mum so it was pretty momentous for me to be going out at all. I was majorly excited as it’d been ages since I’d been to a house party (other than my own) in fancy dress and my date was my darling friend Sandra who I always had heaps of good clean fun with. We had both been going to Latin dance classes and our invite came from some of the guys there. They were all into going to the gym and working out (I think that’s how Greg knew some of them?) so seeing them all dressed in nothing much but a pair of angel wings and some glitter or a set of devil horns and a studded choker was going to be all right.

I’d spent all my spare change on artificial roses. Sandra and I waxed supreme and looked like a delectable pair of seraphs. I remember on our drive to the party sending out a silent message to the universe just to let the all-knowning know (?) that I was ready to meet someone. Someone just for me that I could get all serious about. And that I did!

He wasn’t dressed up with his chest out gleaming like all the others. He did have too much of the wet-look gel in his hair, disguising it’s glorious colour. I had my video camera on record when I went up to him boldly and demanded to know who he and his friend were. He told me he was Greg the Patron Saint of Guidance and asked me if it hurt when I fell from heaven. Him and his mate Paul where probably brainstorming pick-up-lines they could use on girls who would be all dressed up like angels and cherubs. I ended up sharing my bottle of Galliano with them both and they marveled at my age (Greg has only just become older than I was when I first met him all those years ago!) He spent a lot of the night trying to convince me to join them in town via their unit down the hill in the next suburb. I think they had been invited to a 21st as well but I was adamant about staying with Sandra and they never ended up going anywhere anyway. I didn’t give him my number but he committed my surname to memory when I told him I was in the phonebook. I knew I’d met a couple of fun guys to be firm friends with and that made me smile a lot. As far as relationship material – I wasn’t quite sure.

For the next couple of weeks Greg called over home a lot and he was really welcome. We’d look through photo’s and tell each other about our dreams. We revealed personal stuff to one another instantly, I told him about my train fetish and he cried his eyes out in front of me describing a particular bad dream. We’d watch movies together, have adventures up the creek and he and Paul would come over for swims. We went out clubbing with groups of friends and I took Izzy to the basketball courts to watch his games.

Good times, good times. One day I saw this look on his face that just ignited a spark in me and then I had the hots for him bad! Which suited him fine!

I remember the first time I touched his hands, I noticed how good looking they were – beautiful fingers and perfect square nails, despite the grimy black shit he had all over them from work which I cleaned off with some essential oils or nail polish remover or something only a girl would have. Then I was amazed at his huge “chicken wings” – the muscle on your palm underneath you thumb – that on him were like, massively overdeveloped from picking up sheets of steel at work, we were both laughing at his overly-muscled-disfigurement. I remember we were cruising around in the casino the first time I slipped my hand into his. His rough strong hands where a surprising nice change to all the baby soft-muso’s hands I’d been holding on to up until that point.

Once we had each other we couldn’t get enough. We just drank each other up.

We’re both a couple of spitfires and our relationship is sometimes problematic and often punctuated with a good screaming match here and there but I’m still crazy about him – his infectious laugh and that dip above his top lip still makes me melt.

And so it’s around Halloween that I celebrate another year of sharing my life with my beautiful man. His good strong arms are still there to wrap me up and his hand outstretched for me to hold.

It’s also a time when we remember Paul. He was a beautiful honey too. Always up for a cuppa and a heart-to-heart. He was only 21 when he was taken from his huge posse of loving friends under really fucked up circumstances. But we’ll never let your memory die ‘hey Bunge?’

Happy Halloween!

Still in the Dark

Six days later and we're still sitting here in the dark. Anakin's been sleeping real good with all the white noise - the gas light hissing away and the generator purring in the carport. I haven't been able to vac the floor in a week, there's extension leads running about all over it and curled up all over the place anyway.

The Ergon inspector refused to turn our power back on until our equipment was all very legit'. We ended up buying a flash little generator, let's hope it doesn't emit any unpredictable power surges that will cause the computer to blow up. God, it's already been the most expensive scenerio ever!

Hey! Me and Bubby had our first conversation today. It went:
"Mum"
"Yes Darling?"
"I want Titty"
"Okay Lovie, you can have some Titty"
He's becoming such a good talker! And he's practically running around these days! In his little orange "croca-dillians".

I gave Iz the day off school today. Instead we went up to Nana and Grandad's and the kids got to see their Poppy and Di as well and I took them to the pool for a big swim and a play. And Iz spent more of his birthday money at KMart. Way better than school.

Speaking of school, it was good to be in with the preps yesterday. They were well behaved and engaged all day. The boys outnumbered the girls by about 5 to 1 so it was a pretty energetic day. I was so glad to have parent helpers though! Especially when one of the little guys went white and had to throw up right in the middle of his show-n-tell. Sounds a bit cliched. But it's true! They went a bit berserke at home time though - just when all the parents were rocking up. (Shame!) I'd given them a colouring in sheet I'd made up for them with "Hot, hungry horses hurrying up the hill." And they were so stoked they were hugging each other and jumping up and down on the spot. I couldn't get them to chill back out!

Anakin experienced the consequenses of his naughty behaviour for the first time tonight. He was sitting on my lap eating his dinner in Mum's hall. (She built a dance hall as an extension to her house and it has a kitchenette and shower and toilet so we have been making some use of it lately.) He knew exactly what I meant when I told him a few times not to crunch up and pull at the tablecloth. But after a couple of thwarted attempts he yanked the whole thing onto the ground along with my cup of green tea and his dinner! (He'd never be so cheeky with Auntie Nick - she just has to shake her head and gently say "No Bubby".) I marched him over to the mat on the opposite side of the room and made him stay there until I finished cleaning up his mess. It made him very miserable. Once I was ready to sit him on my lap for some more dinner he was looking at me and smiling so desperate for my approval again (I felt like such a meanie). We started afresh and had a lovely little time.

There's been a bit of discussion about racism lately, I just wanted to clarify that "The Noisy Blackfellas" is actually a band, with that name, that's what they call themselves, that's not what I called them, although I probably would, 'cause I know these guys and they are noisy and they're blackfellas too.

Power. Out.

On Friday at about 2 o'clock in the arve it went suddenly dark and a thunderstorm rolled through with heaps of wind gusts and lightning. Me and Bubby were really excited and stood outdoors with his colourful pinwheel held outstretched feeling the beautiful wind charging the air, watching the leaves roll around the yard and listening to tree limbs cracking off in the bush.

It wasn't until the next morning that we discovered our electricity service pole on the corner of our yard had crimped over at the base and was lying flat on the ground. Amazingly we still had power but as soon as we notified Ergon Energy the fellas came and switched it off. Great - thanks for that. We were expecting that they'd fix it for us...

A real helpful bloke from up the road soon came to our rescue with a generator for the fridges. But we've had no lights, no washing machine, no fans, not to mention no tv or computer (I'm up at Mum's using her's, serves me right for breaking my own rules!) One of the local electrition is doing his best to help out but we're having to bodge up the old pole so we can have temporary power until Greg's brother makes us up a new one and gets it certified by an engineer. The dramas.

Randomlings

I’m fairly looking like crap lately. My hair’s bad, my chest is all spotty and I’m kidding myself if I think the hyper pigmentation I developed all over my face while being pregnant a whole year ago has faded – coz it hasn’t! It’s still all there – all loud and proud. Damnit! Oh well, least I don’t have to deal with emphysema, three clotted arteries in my heart and a brain aneurism all at once like this patient on RPA last night. (I’m thinking she needed to exercise some forethought everytime she stuck a cigarette in her mouth 10 times a day for twenty years. Don’t worry I’ll lack as much empathy for my old man when he develops some hideous lung disease too. Surely the repercussions have gotta make you wonder.)

Bubby has crashed out early this morning. I must have worn him out with our couple of trips around the yard - down to the mulberry tree for his breakfast, to the bottom of the driveway to wave “Brussy” off on the school bus, to collect the sticks fallen from the Sally Wattles trees overnight to heap up for our next fire and to explore inside one of the neighbours gardens (great spot for a cubby I discovered). Or maybe the anguish from being bitten by one too many Marchflies just exhausted him.

They are pretty rank at the moment – I sewed up some light long duddies for him but I need to make more so he can wear them everyday. We do our best to keep them off him but he is such an outdoorsy little fella that keeping him inside all day would be far worse a punishment then the bites of a few Marchies. He’s getting better at catching them anyway and the chicken races around plucking them out of the air. We just need about 20 more chickens and we’d be right!

If Izzy neglects to give Anakin a kiss before he makes his way down to catch the bus, Anakin follows behind him puckering up and practicing for a kiss the whole way. I reckon he’d walk 200 meters for a kiss from Brussy. It’s so cute.

The school called me yesterday and I’m taking the preps on Wednesday. Wow my first day of work since I was full term with Anakin. I better get back into the swing of it I suppose. Next year will see me doing three days a fortnight. Feeling ugly or not - how good have I got it hey?

Kids, if U want my attention, just leave a comment.

Greg would agree I’m getting lost in cyber space. In the midst of seducing him last night, I found myself wondering “what the hell is a degree of separation?” My sister is explaining to me how she got misquoted at the tile shop and I’m thinking “I wonder how JT’s bird dance went last night”. A pool party is going on next door and I miss half of it coz “I just have to check a couple blogs”.

I'll even sit at the computer with my legs tightly crossed because I don't want to waste what seems like my precious little computer time going to the toilet. How desperate is that?

My skirting boards are getting grubbier and grubbier as I sit at my computer considering what to include in my bio at Thirty Voices. The bathroom is getting mouldier as I type up new entries in A Trillion Kisses. My new electric piano gathers dust as I consult the Urban Dictionary to look up the meaning of “skeevy”. I can’t even be bothered to shift the clusters of Greg’s alcohol flagons that have made their way back into the house because I’m too busy checking for comments. (Vanilla can you send you’re Cleaning Angels around here? Do they water the plants as well?)

I can’t even adhere to my own rule of No Tech’ Tuesdays (thanks Tiff for giving it a name.) Lucky I like using my swivel chair or the kids would have to talk to the back of my head on occasions and that’s just wrong.

I’ve got problems. I need to go to Bloggers Anonymous.

PS - I think you're suppose to blog about life not blog about blogging! This whole post has been a serious case of metablognition.

A Wild Occurance

happened to me today. I’ll tell you what. I went for a drive to Cairns with my sister on a whim. She had a few missions to get through so I got dropped off at the shops with Anakin to mooch around and possibly get some Christmas and birthday shopping done (my mum, dad and sister’s are all this month!) The first thing I did was go to Woolies to get Bubby some ‘sposies as I didn’t fancy the likelihood of his dudies staying dry with his cloth nappies on all day. Anyway there in the baby isle I recognised this beautiful lady whose blog I have been reading every day since I was in my early stages of pregnancy with Anakin! I didn’t know if it would be rude to interrupt her as she was in this zone checking out baby toys. I felt really strange and stalkerish just standing there watching her in my indecision, I really badly wanted to meet her, but I was totally unprepared and nervous!

I ended up paying for my things, tearing up to the mothers room to put a clean shirt on Bubby and makes sure I didn’t have some of my breakfast stuck in my teeth or some of Anakin’s breakfast in my hair and raced back to see if she was still there.

Which she was! I got up my gumption and just charged on up to her and said “Hey! Shouldn’t you be at home blogging?” Stupid I know, and I reckon I was turning various shades of red during the next few minutes as we kind of semi-awkwardly eased our way into a conversation.

Anyway I wasn’t a complete stranger to her, I think she knows about as much about me and my family as I do about hers, as she let me know she was a reader of my blog back when I started it at the beginning of the year. So meeting up in real life felt kind of fateful I spose and she was happy to talk to me. YAY! She even suggested we meet up after her Bubby is born. Double YAY! Her little fella looked so familiar (actually – sitting up like a good boy in the shopping trolley – he was the one I recognized first!) I kept wanting to smoogy him but he was looking at me warily probably thinking “Get out of my grill Stranger Danger”.

Anyway even though I’m very sorry our encounter made me late for a date with my darling friend Hayley (I should’ve known you’d head to the op-shop!) and I STILL haven’t seen her in God-knows how long, I couldn’t help but wander around with this dopey and amazed smile on my face all day long.

Unreal banana peel!

Compilation

Okay so I’m glad there’s a theme for today’s blogging episode to give me something to focus on because I need that, as you can see from my last rant (probably courtesy of pre-“blahd” - not quite sure - I’ve lost track of my cycle which is a bit of a worry, everytime I feel strange or exceptionally hungry/tired/happy Greg says hopefully “maybe your pregnant!”. Only in his dreams, I hope!)

So here goes: My life as a mixed tape.

The first couple of tracks would have to be representative of my very first memories – Mum and Dad in their matching kaftans, polished wooden floors and beaded partitions, eating melted Cadbury chocolate with a teaspoon, a fascination with guitar plectrums, snuggling up on a beanbag watching The Lone Ranger. It’d have to be something my folks use to listen to when I was a little girl maybe “California Dreaming” by the Mamas and the Papas. Or “Horse with No Name” by America.

The second track would be devoted to this time as well but more likely something that represents their sudden divorce. Probably Max Merritt and the Meteors “Slipping Away” would suffice.

Next would come a couple of tracks that I loved to sing out loud in the rusted out old bombs we use to drive around in – Mum and Pep (my Mums then man and my brothers dad) all lovey-dovey in the front and us kids half delirious on exhaust fumes in the back. Songs like “Mellow Yellow” (I called my dolly Safron), or “Golden Brown” by the Stranglers (I still love that song!) And some of the ones I remember dancing to with all the cousins on our holidays back to Gladstone “Horror Movie” by The Skyhooks or “Jesse’s Girl”.

Michael Jackson would definitely come next to signify my pre-pubescence: “Wanna Be Starting Something”, “Smooth Criminal” or “Billie Jean”. I was a fan.

The rollercoaster through the awkwardness and regret of my experience of puberty and loosing my virginity would have to be marked with The Cure’s “Killing an Arab”, The Clash’s “London’s Burning” and Split Endz “My Mistake”. (Very telling.)

Drinking and smoking way too much through my mid teens would call for something tragic like “The End” by The Doors, “The Blue Mask” by Lou Reed and The Velvet Underground’s “All Tomorrow’s Parties”.

My hitchhiking years would have to be marked with something to epitimise the grunge era - Temple of the Dog’s “Reach Down” I think. Or something off the soundtrack to The Crow. Plus there would definitely have to be something sad and beautiful like Jimi Hendrix’s “Little Wing” to signify my relationship at the time.

With my first born son I was very sensitive to the music he overheard so Rage Against the Machine was turned off and on went Johnny Cash. “Orange Blossom Special” would definitely make it on the mixed tape.

I developed big love for Nick Caves ballads in my mid twenties so a few of his would go down next. Something dirty and edgy like “Red Right Hand”,something infinitely beautiful like “Love Letter” and “God is in the House” - something just plain smart.

Then along came Greg and the renewal of my nightlife so I’d add “Freestyler” for my club days and Craig David’s “Fill Me In” for Greg and my introduction to soppy R&B. Plus I’d definitely have to include “Easy like Sunday Morning” I’ve always loved Faith No More but it wasn’t until Greg came along that I realized it was a Lionel Ritchie song!

Lastly I’d add a track from Foo Fighters’ acoustic album as a reminder of my pegnancy with Anakin. And The Killers “Where the White Boys Dance” coz The Killers is all we listen too around here lately (and I've been dying for an excuse to put a picture of Brendan Flowers in my blog - YUM!!)

“Across the Night” by Silverchair would be my encore track!

What's Good about Greys?

Man Wednesday night is awesome for TV viewing on the ABC. First we catch a bit of Spicks and Specks before Chasers War on Everything and then Summer Heights High gives me constant laughs, it has got to be the most hilarious show I’ve ever seen in my life! Chris Lilley is a genius.

And right now I wanna rag-out on Grey’s Anatomy. I don’t see what the attraction is. I hate that stupid shit. For starters I just can’t stand looking at Meridith, she gives me that same violent repulsion as Martina Hingis. I couldn’t stand her back in the day when she was Charlie’s girlfriend on Party of Five and they dressed her in long sleeved cardies that came right down over her hands to hide the fact that she was dramatically waifish and fragile looking and probably anorexic and cutting herself and she still looks like she needs a bloody good feed and her voiceovers are completely annoying. I can’t help thinking Sandra Ho just needs to get her dominatrix gear back on and get back to the Blue Iguana Bar. McDreamy is foul. It’s just a shit show that takes itself way too seriously. What’s good about it I’d like to know? I’m asking.

Shifting the furniture 'round

Last night Greg expressed his regret at never getting kissed anymore and his concern about sleeping everynight with our baby wedged between us and was wondering how long I anticipated this sleeping arrangement would continue. I'm not too good at putting babies in cots but I made a reassuring gesture by shifting the cot to the base of our bed hoping Bubby might just decide to climb in himself (as if). And then showed him just how much of a good time we can still have next to a sleeping baby...

So far this is about as close as Anakin has come to sleeping in his, very expensive, big waste of money, never been used cot.

Shirts Off!

We headed up to Cairns after Greg knocked off work on Friday arve. He drove and I drank a couple of beers. I had it in my head I needed to go out dancing and texted every date-candidate I could think of, but no-one had their dancing shoes on – poor me. After we put the kids to bed at Uncle Christo’s I ended up at a Karaoke party over the fence and sang my first ever Karaoke song – “True Colours” by Cyndi Lauper (but you already knew that), then I backed that performance up with “Ring of Fire”, “Last Kiss” and some Averil Lavigne song. It was good fun. Not quite bustin-a-move in some overcrowded sweaty club though. Greg said he’d try and score some Silverchair/Powderfinger tickets for me for this weekend – that’d well and truly satisfy my need to go out raging.

We watched him scrimmage at the Fishtank on Sunday (he happened to be in the “no shirts” team so that was all good for me) and it looks like he’s going to enter the Superleague Basketball comp’ – that means a 2 hour drive to Cairns every weekend for the next 8 weeks!

Greg’s been encouraged to get into TAFE teaching, for all the apprentices doing fabrication. I think all he needs to do is the “train-the-trainer-training” certificate and then he’d be able to. He briefly contemplated doing a Bachelor of Ed but I reminded him of the MASSIVE amounts of reading that’s involved and although I’d help him out as much as I could I just don’t reckon he’d like all the theory. He’s way too practical – he couldn’t stand it. Anyway I think it’s just part of his plan to get us back up to Cairns where most of our friends are. I’ve got two cousins up there as well and Greg has heaps of family there. Mmmm – we’ll see… It’s just so beautiful here – he’d have to find us an equally beautiful place to live right near the botanical gardens or out near Crystal Cascades. We’d have to pack up all our stuff n rent this house out. Izzy would have to change schools. It’d be a massive big deal. Going to Rusty’s Markets every weekend’d be bloody good though and it’d be nice to get away from the plague of March flies that have just taken over this place...

Anyway I got to get an op-shop in Yay! I spent a bit too much but got some cool stuff including a little Wayne Cooper number.

Me and Iz pulled the juicer out of it’s hiding place this morning and made up a load of pinapple, apple, orange and carrot juice. It was yarr-mee!

Better get going. In the words of JT “mas later bitches”.

Sunlit Daze

I’ve had a couple of charmed, yummy days at the beach with the kids. We start off by getting the dream park in the shade right near the health food shop, where we stock up on frozen fruit icecream cups, roasted chick peas, honey dipped banana chips and date and almond rolls. Then we find a good shady spot under a (denutted/Ferinelli/castrato) coconut tree, spread out a throw rug and have a good old munch.

Then the boys have a wade and get busy catching sand crabs. Bubby licks the sand a few times and figures out that it’s not so good in his mouth. Or his eyes for that matter. Bubby gets all excited watching the skydivers land underneath their parachutes. We try and train him to keep his hat on, but every time he whips it off in a flash so we have to head off before his little scone gets too much sun damage.

We stop at Auntie Nicks so the kids can wash the sand out of their hair in the pool (hey, it’s a rental!), have a cuppa and cruise home. What a delicious way to spend a school holiday, or two, or three, or all of them!

Okay, so,

I’m really glad right now that my life is fairly free of commitments other than those relating to parenting. I’m just happy I don’t have any shifts to attend on the ward, because I’m too busy trying to manage hot and cold sweats.

Thankfully I don’t have any curatorial proposals to put forth or the reorganization of any accounts to complete because I have a killer migraine and a pocket of blood vessels behind my left eye that feels about to rupture.

SO glad I don’t have to think about the responsibility of designing a building or studying for a medical exam (or considering which way I should write-myself-off for flunking out) coz I’m too busy loosing 3 liters at a time outta my back passage.

I feel like I’ve got about a gallon of froth from babycinos in my stomach. Except a tad more acidic and toxic than milk froth.

Bubby has had plenty of good reason to practice his new word: “Burp!”

Okay, so… I succumbed, I've joined the legions of the Runny-bums.

(But I promise I won’t write about this anymore – the novelty of being sick has just worn off.)

Happy Squirtday!

Well it took awhile to determine but it looks like the “spewies followed by the pooies” is some form of contagious gastro, not food poisoning from the festy dog bowl at all – poor Izzy started upchucking just before his birthday dinner. You should have seen me multitask – cooking a huge feed for all the family while trying my best to palm off the littlest Cling-on and emptying out the spew bucket for Iz! As you can imagine a LOT of soft soap was involved! I hope we haven’t passed it onto anyone but everyone was already here!

So I’ve got one little baby who’s starting to adopt the “lollipop look” and doesn’t want to do much of anything besides hang off the boobie and doze – he hasn’t got any energy reserves at all and hasn’t really consumed much solid food in the past 6 days. And one now 11 (!) year old who has been couch (and toilet) bound for the last 12 hours and only just now, managed to feel well enough to blow out the candles on his birthday cake (probably contaminating it but, oh well, you have to blow out your candles – it’s tradition! Nobody has to eat it – it was a token cake.) I’ve been kissing and cuddling them both but you know me, I just soldier on, I’m a machine – a Femme-bot! Honestly though, I have got a bit of a crook guts and these weird sharp pangs going through all my joints and bones but I refuse to succumb.

Other than the misfortune of getting crook on his birthday, Izzy was a very spoilt boy. We bought him a Nintendo DS Lite which came with the Cars game and a pair of And1 basketball shoes. His Dad sent him a heap of Xtreme Sports DVD’s and a little music box thingy that played “Happy Birthday” as you wind it around – how beautiful (that was his girlfriend’s idea). Mum and Nick bought him games and accessories for his DS (watch-out Raven – as soon as we’re travel-hardy he’s coming for a challenge!). He scored a deadly “hardcore gaming cape” from his Great Auntie Marie. And then he collected about $250 worth of birthday money! A majority of which will be going straight into his bank!

We were suppose to head up to Cairns today – Greg’s sister arrives from Brisbane tonight and she still hasn’t met Anakin! But we’re in quarantine and are having a quiet one around the house, caring for the sick patients, catching-up on sleep and doing a few maintenance jobs.

Greg is stoked – he’s gassed his first couple of kegs and yesterday afternoon fitted the beer tap into the door of our old fridge in the carport, so he now has beer on-tap! He was doing his goofy happy dance a lot yesterday! But after a session last night he and Nicholas both agree that he somehow managed to brew non-alcoholic beer – next time he’ll add more dextrose!

I just ran some AntiSpyWare, I hope it fixes all the greebilies.